


The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith {or Sando Impressions}

by Stevie_Foxx



Category: Pride and Prejudice (1995), Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Genre: F/F, M/M, NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex), Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 15:33:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 44
Words: 94,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3697568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stevie_Foxx/pseuds/Stevie_Foxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Part One

Chapter One:

"Master Yoda, My Master!"

The Temple Housekeeper rushed after the Master of the Creche as he made his way along the path back to the small Temple Creche called Lüng-b'urne outside of Theed on the small planet of Naboo.   Master Yoda stamped along the path followed by his charges and chased by the Temple Housekeeper, a red-skinned Twi'lek named Fan'iy.

"I have just had it from Jar Jar Binks!" she cried.  "NethaTheed, the Royal Palace is preparing to act as host arena.  Don't you want to know who will be inspecting tourneys there?"

She nearly ran over the diminutive Master in her enthusiasm.  Master Yoda whacked her voluminous skirts aside with his gimer stick,.

"Tell me this you wish to.  Objection to hearing this I have none," the Dagobari commented dryly.  It was enough to encourage the Housekeeper.

"Well," she gushed.  "NethaTheed, the Royal Palace will be hosting Jedi Masters of the High Council.  The Leader's name is Windu.  He arrived just the other day in a Gungan sub to inspect the training areas and will be there for potential Padawans starting midday next week. "What a fine thing for our initiates."  

She smiled back at the five young beings following them. Master Yoda stopped and turned to look at the smiling students following him.  All stopped dead in their tracks according to their training. 

"Mmm, affect them how does this?"  The little green Jedi Master inquired before turning and making his way to the Temple once more.

"Oh, Master Yoda!" cried the Housekeeper.  "You know I am thinking of him as bonding with one of them."

 "For every lone Jedi Master of the Highest Order must be in want of a Padawan apprentice."  Obi-Wan Kenobi commented to his elder Creche-mate, Jah'nne.  The Housekeeper overheard them and cried, "Indeed, he must be!"

"His design this is for here holding tourneys?" Yoda asked. 

"His design?  Oh, Master Yoda, how can you be so tiresome!  But he may very well be so impressed by the midi-chlorian levels of our initiates as well as by their training that he will do anything to have one as his Padawan.  Thus you must go to the Palace and greet him straight away."

Maul, the youngest of the Initiates giggled out loud, "A fine thing it would be if Master Windu were to choose me" "Or me!" cried his closest Creche-mate, Khi'to, a youthful, plump yet empty-headed Rodian. 

"Maul," Jah'nne gently reproved the red-skinned, horn-crowned young initiate for interrupting without the Master's permission.

"No need for this I see," commented Yoda.  "Take them you can to Theed.  Or themselves send you could." 

"Go to Theed Royal Palace by themselves?  Unsupervised initiates?" The Housekeeper screeched.  

 "You, the Master may choose instead, as train you do, as often they."

The Housekeeper simpered.  

Maul snorted his amusement aloud through his sharp peg-like teeth. 

"Maul," reprimanded Obi-Wan as the entire Creche entered the Temple foyer.  Master Yoda stamped into his meditation room and mind-whammied the door shut behind him.

"HI-55!  HI-55!  Where is HI-55?" wailed the Housekeeper, just as the Twi'lek's personal droid arrived on the scene, "Oh, HI-55, I am so distressed.  Master Yoda declares he will not meet with the Jedi Masters at Theed Royal Palace." 

"There, there, Mistress," HI-55 mechanical voice began to soothe. 

"Dearest Mistress, I'm sure Master Yoda is teasing you," Jah'nne cried after the Housekeeper, trying to comfort the flighty creature, who was now in the receiving area re-arranging the silver face frames about her head-tails and fussing with various other pieces of her clothing.   

"No, no," wailed the Twi'lek, "You know your Master has a will of Yavinese iron."

Jah'nne went to a bench near the Master's custom-made relaxation chair which she and Obi-Wan were allowed to sit near as they were the eldest of the Creche members.   Amused by the gyrations of their Housekeeper, Obi-Wan went to join his favorite Creche-mate on the bench as they exchanged smiles and bowed respectfully when Master Yoda entered the room.

 "The right of it you have," Master Yoda declared, smiling up at his two eldest charges and motioned them to seat themselves as he levitated his small form into his own chair.   "Tell you, I will what I do.  Send Holovid I will.  Inform him it shall that five initiates I have.  Welcome to any he is.  All silly and untrained they are like all initiates on Naboo; except for Obi-Wan.  Higher midi-chlorian level than the others he has.  But like a stupid Padawan Windu might.  Done so before him many Masters have."

 Obi-Wan and Jah'nne exchanged smiles again as the Housekeeper began to wail once more.

Later, when all the initiates had been sent to bed, Obi-Wan snuck into Jah'nne's room.  He perched his lithe, athletic human body cross-legged on the clothes box at the end of her bed and watched the rosy-cheeked statuesque brunette brush out her dark brown curls before a small mirror.  

Jah'nne was also human but unlike Obi-Wan, she knew she was originally from Alderann though orphaned at two and tested positive for high midi-chlorians at three.  She was the first to be sent to the small Temple here on Naboo.

Obi-Wan tossed his own loose, red-gold hair over his shoulders.  No one knew where he had come from.  Master Yoda had found him and taken him in.  He knew nothing except his life at the Naboo Temple.   Both young people sighed, idly wondering when, at long last, their hair would be shorn as a mark of a Jedi Padawan.  Both were clad in old-fashioned initiate bedwear, which consisted of long night robe with close collars that covered their throats and were softly trimmed with a thin line of rhodian silk.  The robes were simply fashioned and reached their feet where there was a deep silk trim at the hem.  Wrapped in sleep shawls of highly decorative designs both initiates looked surprisingly young despite their years.

"If I could be bonded to a Master who would take me for a mere middle midi-chlorian count, I should be very well satisfied," Obi-Wan commented idly, cuddling his dark blue sleep shawl about him.  It had deep fringes and was pattered with gold and silver stars.

 "Of course," he went on, "such a Master could not be properly attuned to the Force and I could never be bonded to a Master who needs tuning."

 Jah'nne smiled gently.   "To be bonded to a Master without consulting the Force and respecting your feelings cannot be agreeable, to Master or Padawan." 

"As we have monthly proof from the Naboo Combined Temple reports on the consort situation," Obi-Wan replied dryly.  "But initiates cannot be choosers and since you are the eldest, and quite the most trained of all of us, I feel that it is your place to raise our Creche's honor and bond to a very famous Jedi Master."

Jah'nne smiled a little more and tugged her pink flowered shawl about her as Obi-Wan came and put his arms around her. "For you, Obi-Bunnie," Jah'nne said gently, using his private nickname, "I will try.  And you?" 

Obi-Wan stared into the mirror, "Having meditated on the subject I sense that the Force tells me to be resolved that nothing but the strongest stirrings of the Force will ever induce me to bond to any Master." 

He shook free of his serious tone and kissed the top of his Creche-mate's head, saying,  "So, I shall end my initiation here, take Mistress Fan'iy place when she retires and teach all our future potential Padawans to meditate and use their lightsabers very ill."

 Jah'nne immediately laughed.  "Oh, go to bed Obi-Wan!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

The next day Obi-Wan was returning from his daily walking mindfully meditation when he saw Maul and the other two Creche members, Khi'to and the studious Gungan named Flas-Ok, rushing to the Temple from the direction of Theed 

"Obi!"  Maul cried, catching sight of and waving exuberantly to his older Creche-mate.  "Wait 'til you hear our news!"  
Obi-Wan returned to the Temple at speed, despite his disinterest in the visiting Master, he was curious to know what gossip had been generated. 

He arrived at the same time as Maul and the others and they all went into the receiving area where the Housekeeper was fiddling with her holovid screen of the Theed Newsvendor and Master Yoda was looking for an obscure piece of Alderaanian poetry.

"Boss Nass went to the Palace and welcomed Master Windu," Maul announced.  "He says Master Windu is a member of the High Council of Jedi and wears a dark brown robe." 

"And he has a radiator casing segment on his lightsaber," interrupted Khi'to, his small round ears twitching excitedly. 

"Save your strength to levitate with, Khi'to, I shall tell Master Yoda and Mistress Fan'iy," Maul cried imperiously. "

"I do not wish to know," sniffed Mistress Fan'iy.   
"He declared to Boss Nass that he will be attending the next public sparring tournament and he loves to duel with the lightsaber." 

"And he's bringing six Masters and eight Padawans," Khi'to managed before exploding in a sneezing fit. 

"No!  It was seven Masters and twelve Padawans," Maul argued. 

"Too many Padawans," Obi-Wan murmured an aside to Jah'nne.

 "Oh, Maul!" wailed the Housekeeper.  "I beg you would stop, for we are never to welcome Master Windu and it gives my headtails the spasms to hear about him.  Stop sneezing Khi'to, you are making my Tromin unigarment ride up!" 

"I'm not sneezing for fun, I'm allergic to Maul's horn-polish," whimpered Khi'to, long nose quivering as he hunted for a handkerchief.  
 "But Mistress," Maul whined, "Master Windu- " "I am sick of Master Windu!" Fan'iy screamed.

"Sorry I am this to hear," Master Yoda put in quietly.  "If this I had known, at the Palace yesterday, welcomed him via audio-vid I would not have."

 "You have welcomed him?" cried Fan'iy. 

Yoda shrugged, "No escaping the initiates have of presentation now." "Eeeeeeeeh!  Aeiou, Eaiou, Iaeou, Oaeiu, Uaeio, Uoiea, Ouiea, Iuoea, Euoia, Auoie!" squealed the Housekeeper, calling on all the gods and demigods of her people.  "Oh, young ones!  What a wonderful Master you all have.  And never to tell us!  What a fine example of concealing your feelings and trusting the Force!  Isn't Master Yoda a great Jedi Master!!"

 Master Yoda, tired out with the hyperactive tongue and higher voice reaching the more painful levels of the register, hopped out of his chair.  He turned to Khi'to, who had one suction-tipped finger jammed up his nose to the third joint. 

"As much as wish you may sneeze now." and stamped out, gimer stick tapping the Opee Sea Killer bone flooring.

"Oh, my little ones," cooed Mistress Fan'iy.  "What an excellent teacher you have.  At his time of life and his notions of grammar, it is not so pleasant, I can tell you, to be making new acquaintances every day; but for your sakes, we would do anything.  Maul, my little driss pod, though you are the youngest I dare say Master Windu will spar with you at the next tourney." 

"Oh!" said Maul stoutly, "I am not afraid; for though I am the youngest I have eight horns on my head which I grew myself."

 Obi-Wan and Jah'nne smiled at each other as their Housekeeper and younger Creche-mates exclaimed and chatted about the tourneys.  Both elder initiates had sensed that Master Yoda would not pass the opportunity of showing his initiates to the Council Members.  One did not teach Jedi for nearly eight hundred years and ignore tradition the next day.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Obi-Wan laughed as Jah'nne made a comment to their friend, I'Ole, a Gungan initiate from the neighboring Creche.  

Due to the lack of Knights and Masters, the three initiates were not sparring at the moment.  The arena was full of young initiates aspiring to be Jedi Padawan being put through their paces and practicing levitation with one another to extend their knowledge of forms and gravity. 

Suddenly there was a disturbance in the Force and everyone fell silent.  Along with the entire contents of the room, Obi-Wan and Jah'nne turned to see who had caused the disturbance and saw the newcomers.

Two humans, two Neimoidians and a Chagrian stood at the gymnasium entrance at the top of the small stairs.  Everyone stared interested.  At that moment, Boss Nass hurried forward.

 "Mazzda Mazzzz Windooo," he bubbled, and continued to welcome the party of High Council members.  Jah'nne and Obi-Wan clustered closer to their Gungan companion, who told them about the arrivals. 

"That's Master Windu.  He is without a Padawan," I'Ole murmured, her haillu rippling interestedly, as she discreetly indicated the handsome, dark-skinned human male without hair.  He was very tall, well proportioned and powerful looking.  There was serenity about his features and the Force was obviously very strong in him.   

"The Neimoidians are Lott Dodd and Nute Gunray.  They want his support for the Trade Federation.  The Chagrian is a senator assistant from Coruscant.  The Jedi Master behind Lott Dodd is Master Qui-Gon Jinn.  He is said to be Master Windu's oldest friend.  He, too, is without a Padawan."

 "Better and better," murmured Jah'nne.  "I can sense even from here they are both very strong in the Force." 

Obi-Wan looked at Master Qui-Gon Jinn.  The Master was taller than Windu and had a disinterested air about him. 

"Better pleased with what they left on Aldaraan than who they see here," Obi-Wan commented to Jah'nne.    
Before the older initiate could reply, they both saw Mistress Fan'iy motioning them to her.  They bowed to I'Ole and returned to their chaperon's side.

 "Yes, Mistress?" Obi-Wan asked when he neared Fan'iy.   

"Oh!" gasped the Twi'lek, "That Master next to Master Windu is Master Qui-Gon Jinn.  He is the leading Master at the Temple on Curoscant.  Master Windu's control of the Force is nothing compared to his!" 

The Twi'lek glanced about quickly before whispering "Trained two Padawans already; one to full knighthood in but a few years."  Then louder, "Isn't he the most powerful Master you have ever sensed, young ones!" 

"Would he be thought so powerful if he hadn't trained so many Padawans." Obi-Wan grinned to Jah'nne, who smothered a laugh.  They turned with their Housekeeper and saw that Boss Nass was gliding toward them, smiling broadly.  Master Windu walked at his side.

 "Oh Force, they're coming over!  Stretch out with your feelings, young ones."  The Twi'lek attempted to fiddle with her headtails in a casual manner as both Jah'nne and Obi-Wan calmed themselves in the Force.   
   
The Twi'lek chaperon beamed pleasantly as the two initiates bent before Boss Nass and Master Windu. 

"Mazzda Windooo wanz presentation to your initiatez, Mizdrezz Fannnee." 

Mistress Fan'iy tugged her head tails in an ancient and polite Twi'lek greeting gesture, 

"Oh, Master Windu!  You honor our Creche.  This is my eldest charge Jah'nne, and here is Obi-Wan Kenobi.  Over in the corner there, meditating you see Flas-Ok.  And sparring with each other there are our youngest Khi'to and Maul.  Do you like to spar, Master Windu?"

 "Indeed I do," The Master replied with a gentle smile.  "And if your eldest charge has not been challenged for the next two bouts, I would like to stand as her opponent." 

Jah'nne smiled and bowed low, "Thank you, Master, I have not been challenged.

" Good, good," bubbled Boss Nass. 

"Oh, Master Windu, you are very kind." Fan'iy gushed happily, "Bow to the Jedi Master, Jah'nne." 

"Mistress- " Obi-Wan hissed to the overwrought Twi'lek as Jah'nne blushed hotly and Master Windu raised an eyebrow.  The chaperon could not be stopped.

 "And you, Master," she raised her voice, headtails twitching, "Are you fond of sparring?"

 Jah'nne and Obi-Wan gasped as they realized that their Housekeeper was addressing and challenging Master Jinn on their behalf without being formally presented.  Master Windu turned and immediately rectified the situation by presenting the two initiates and their Mistress to his friend Master Qui-Gon Jinn.  Master Jinn regarded the Housekeeper without pleasantries. 

"I rarely spar," he replied coldly. 

"Then let this be one of those rare times!" yammered Fan'iy.  "By the Force, you'll not find a larger arena or more highly trained initiates." 

Master Jinn sketched a bow and turned his back, to return to the Chagrian and the Neimoidians.  Somewhat discombobulated Master Windu nodded to Jah'nne and followed Boss Nass.

"Well," hissed the Mistress, glaring at the departing back of Master Jinn.  "Of all the dishonorable, un-Jedi-like behavior." 

"Mistress, he will hear you!" gasped Obi-Wan. 

"I don't care if he does," snapped the Housekeeper.   

"Perhaps he really isn't very good at training," suggested Obi-Wan for fun. 

"Perhaps not," pondered the Housekeeper then in a more decided tone she continued.  "Just because he trains on Coruscant!  He thinks our initiates aren't powerful!  Well, the Force doesn't work like that, let me tell you." 

Obi-wan couldn't hide a smile as he had a lively disposition and a dry sense of humor.

"Perhaps he is not truly strong in the Force," he added, teasingly.  Fan'iy nodded and flipped both head tails behind her. 

"Quite right!  He could never be as strong as our Master Yoda or Master Windu.  Merely middling I would think." 

Obi-Wan made himself engage in deep breathing exercises to calm his humorous bent before he could even think about sparring.

As the tournament progressed, Obi-Wan sparred with many different partners though he knew most of them as they were from local Creches.  He was asked by Master Windu for two bouts which he enjoyed keenly.  The Jedi Master was skilled and highly trained in Force-enhanced movements. There was, despite the visiting Masters, not enough Knights or Masters to spar with all the initiates present.  

Master Jinn did not make himself popular as he only engaged in two demonstrations given by Master Windu and never sought to test initiates of any of the local Creches.

The demonstrations were fascinating as they taught different moves to interest the potential Padawans as they challenged both body and mind to flow with the Force.   There was one instance when Obi-Wan was sitting out until a Master or Knight became available.  He took the opportunity to quiet his mind and calm his emotions, preparing himself for possible matches.  His mind was a pool of serenity once more, then Master Windu's voice rose in his vicinity.

"Come Qui-Gon, I must have you spar.  I am disturbed to see you standing about alone in this Sith-like manner.  You had much better spar." 

"I certainly shall not.  You know how I detest sparring unless I am assured of my opponents' abilities in the Force.  In such an arena as this these things are impossible to find out.  You are busy and it would be a punishment for me to attempt a demonstration with any other in this room." 

"I would not be as fastidious as you are," muttered Master Windu, "Force, I have never met with so many excellent potential Padawans in my time as a Master as I have during this event; and there are several of them who you, too, can sense are strong in the Force."

 "You have been sparring with the only well-trained initiate in the arena," commented Master Jinn looking at Jah'nne. 

"Ahh, she is the strongest and most centered of the initiates here and of anywhere else I can think of!  Look, there is one of her Crechemates sitting meditating just over there.  He is very well-trained and, I sense, strong, too." 

Obi-Wan peeped at Master Jinn and Master Windu through hooded eyes.  Just then Master Jinn turned and stared directly at him.  He made his vision soft and wrapped the Force calmness about him.

 "He looks physically able," Master Jinn commented, "but not Force-trained enough to tempt me.  Mace, I am in no humor to give lessons to initiates who are scorned by lesser Masters and common knights.  You'd better return to your sparring partner and enjoy her eagerness to learn, for you are wasting your time with me." 

Master Windu took his fellow Jedi's advice with a shake of his bald head.  

Obi-Wan remained stunned for a moment then remembered Master Yoda's mention of Jedis who wore the brown cloaks but made sure they were of the finest septsilk.  The initiate tried not to giggle to think that soon he would be able to tell his beloved Creche Master that such Jedi still existed and the sooner they went back to Coruscant the better.  

He rose to his feet determined to find I'Ole and tell her, as himself, she delighted in the ridiculous.   He saw her against the far wall, watching the levitation circle.  He hurried toward her.  A ripple in the Force made him glance upward.  For an instant, he caught Master Jinn's gaze resting on him.  He concealed his feelings quickly but couldn't stop a smile as he passed the Master on his way to his friend.  

 Soon the two initiates were laughing heartily over Obi-Wan supposedly scorned Force sensibilities.  Obi-Wan was vaguely aware that Master Jinn was not only watching but could also hear what they said to one another.  Obi-Wan tossed his golden hair and refused to reach out into the Force to examine his actions.

The rest of the tournament passed off well with honors all round for the Lüng-b'urne Creche.  Jah'nne had sparred twice with Master Windu and participated in two of his many demonstrations.  Obi-Wan had also sparred and helped spot at one of the demos.  Flas-Ok had heard herself being mentioned to one of the Neimoidians as having a good head for business.  Khi'to and Maul had never been without sparring partners all during the tournament, which was all the younger two asked for.  Both thought the lightsaber was the foremost part of being a Jedi and meditation was highly over-rated.

The group arrived back at the small Temple quite late but Master Yoda was still meditating and he paused long enough to come through to the back lounge to hear how his Creche members had done.  His Housekeeper was thrilled to her toes and regaled him with all the news.  

 "Oh, Master Yoda, how I wish you could have accompanied us.  Jah'nne was so admired.  Everyone commented on how well she performed in the bouts.  Master Windu thought her strong in the Force and sparred with her twice then asked her to help with two demonstrations as though she was the only capable initiate in Theed.  Master Windu sparred with I'Ole first and I was so annoyed to see him spar with that Gungan.  Then he sparred with Jah'nne and then with Lufta Shif.  But nothing would please him than to spar with Jah'nne again.  After he sparred with her, he sparred with Obi-Wan then with- "

 "Enough!" cried the Dagobari.  "Half so much sparred he would not have if courtesy for me he had.  Force!  Of his sparring partners no more say.  Broken his lightsaber after first bout he should have." 

"Oh, and the Neimoidians he brought with him!"  Fan'iy went on, "So organized and eager to please!  Why, I declare the praise-laden speech given by Lott Dodd alone- "

 Master Yoda pointed his gimer stick at the Housekeeper.  "No speeches, Mistress Fan'iy, beg you I do." 

Fan'iy giggled and tossed her head tails then spasmed with a remembrance.   "Oh!!  But the other Jedi Master he brought with him!  Master Qui-Gon Jinn as he calls himself.  He is not worthy of our initiates.  He scorned Obi-Wan, flatly refused to spar with him."   

Yoda glanced over to his favorite.  Obi-Wan grinned at his beloved Master. 

"Scorned my Obi-Wan, he did?"

 "I didn't care for his lightsaber style either, Master.  So it is of no consequence." 

Yoda chuckled and winked at his Obi-Wan.  Fan'iy twitched and shook the end of her right head tail at Obi-Wan.

"If he ever asks you, Obi, you should refuse to even demonstrate with him." 

"Oh, Mistress," Obi-Wan laughed aloud.  "I think I can safely promise you never to spar with Master Qui-Gon Jinn."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Obi-Wan and Jah'nne were finishing off a meditation when Jah'nne slowly smiled and performed one of the moves Master Windu had taught at the tournament. 

"I think him a great Master, Obi-Bunnie.  He was very patient and yet at the same time demanding." 

"As any good Master should be," replied Obi-Wan and brushed the fallen leaves and grasses from his robe as he rose to his feet.  "Thus I will allow you to listen and learn from his lessons.  Force knows you have listened to much less gifted Knights before.  Do you care to listen to his companions too?" 

"Obi-Bunnie!  Not at first.  But they were eager to help once you conversed with them.  Nute Gunray is staying with Master Windu and organizing a supply route to Naboo.  I'm sure we will all benefit from this kind attention.  Did you like them?"

 "No, I did not sense anything good in them to recommend their actions other that to wheedle their way into greater control of the trade routes about this system.  However, I do not think highly in Master Windu's choice of friends.  Perhaps being subject to the requests of the Supreme Chancellor, he cannot help their presence."

 Jah'nne laughed and poked her Creche-mate with the butt of her lightsaber.

"You never know.  Master Jinn may have hidden talents and teach very well." 

Obi-Wan dropped his lightsaber and posed himself in an overly affected manner.  "What?  By the Force, are you suggesting that he may be in humor to teach initiates who are scorned by lesser Masters and common knights!  Sith!" Obi-Wan stood on tiptoe and looked down his nose mimicking Master Jinn's battle-ready stance of the previous evening and attempted to lower his voice to the deep tone of the Coruscant Jedi Master.  "He looks physically able but not Force-trained enough to tempt me." 

Jah'nne burst into giggles.

"It was rather unjedi-like of him to speak so aloud." "Yes!  A true mark of the Dark side of the Force.  Damnèd Sith that he is."

Obi-Wan picked up his lightsaber and, just as they walked into the Temple courtyard, Obi-Wan smiled and pointed, 

"Look!  I'Ole has come."

 He ran toward his initiate friend. "I'O!" he called.  They sketched polite bows to each other before embracing with the traditional Gungan forehead smooch. 

"My Creche's leader, Boss Nass is hosting a meditation circle and fish-watch this evening in Otoh Gunga Temple Foyer.  You and your Creche-members are all invited," I'Ole told them as she smooched Jah'nne.  Jah'nne smiled serenely. 

"Thank you, I'O.  I can answer for our Creche, we have no set lessons this evening.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Mee, Ray and Laa scale fish whisked by the large auditorium bubble, they were attracted to the underwater city by its light but succeeding generations of these small fish had learned by experience not to pass through the air-filled interiors.  The Mee's minuscule black iridescent poison spines caught the lights from inside the bubble making the school appear as an ever-moving shower of distant sparks.    
   
Obi-Wan turned from his contemplation of the school to glance at his elder Creche-mate.  Jah'nne was seated off to one side with Master Windu, who appeared to be leading her in a guided meditation. 

"Master Windu seems to be encouraging your Creche-mate with her studies a great deal," I'Ole observed quietly in her friend's ear.  Obi-Wan smiled at his Gungan friend.   

"Yes.  If he continues with these lessons, she may well be mentally prepared to form a training bond with him."   
I'Ole looked at the pair with her eye-stalks fully extended.  

"And Master Windu?  Is he prepared to form a training bond?"

 Obi-Wan calmed his emotions, careful not to disturb either party into the knowledge they were being watched and discussed.   

"Master Windu obviously thinks very highly of her abilities." 

"Then your Creche-mate must leave him in no doubt of hers.  She should attempt to communicate telepathically with him." 

Obi-Wan stared surprised at his friend's impolite suggestion.   

"Before she knows if their midi-chlorian levels are compatible?   Before she is certain that all his abilities are rooted in the Force?" 

"The relationship between Master and Padawan is a short-term teaching experience," I'Ole observed quietly.  "A deeper bond caused by midi-chlorian counts and Force rooted abilities are merely matters of chance.  If the midi-chlorian levels are either known to both or even similar enough before their bonding it doesn't not makes a difference to the Master's ability to teach or the Padawan's ability to learn.  They two will always have their share of ambassadorial duties and foul-ups, which will reflect upon their training paths.  It is perhaps best to know as little about your future Master as possible before accepting and forming a training bond." 

"I'O!"  Obi-Wan gasped then laughed at his friend.  "Come now.  You know that is not a sound meditation on becoming a Padawan.  You would never accept a Master by this method."

 "Let us hope then that Master Windu offers telepathic communication soon as Jah'nne will not.  And Master Windu certainly receives no encouragement from his followers"   I'Ole glanced over at the Neimoidians, who were playing triga. 

"Or his friends," Obi-Wan grumbled to himself and glanced briefly at Master Jinn who was standing a short distance from them and shielding himself heavily with the Force.  Obi-Wan felt a vague sensation of disquiet seep through him.  He sensed it concerned his Creche-mate.  He did not have a moment to center himself on the feeling for I'Ole nudged him again. 

"Speaking of Master and Padawan bonds, Master Jinn looks at you a great deal." 

"I cannot think why." Obi-Wan replied, ready to brush aside this line of thought.  He had strictly forbidden himself from allowing Master Jinn to figure in anyway in his meditation exercises.  His playfulness reasserted itself.

 "Perhaps he thinking he will find fear in me if he regards me with disdain."  Obi-Wan shrugged and turned from the Jedi Master.  "I wish he would not attend open meditation circles.  He only makes the other much younger initiates nervous"

 There was a shout of laughter from the other side of the bubble where Maul was involved with several other initiates who were all trying to levitate each other.  Maul was at the center and was engaged in a contest with another as to who could lift one and remain on the ground oneself.  It was not a safe game as it had vague associations with the dark side.   Obi-Wan excused himself to I'Ole and crossed to the edge of the group to gently extricate Maul before he gave their Creche the reputation of Grayness.  

Just as he neared the circle edge and was looking for a subtle way of attracting Maul's attention, Boss Nass suddenly grasped his arm.

 "Liddle Obi-Wan.  Why you no float-float?" 

Obi-Wan opened his mouth but Boss Nass pulled him about and Obi-Wan found himself face to face with Master Qui-Gon Jinn.  The Jedi Master towered over him and Obi-Wan felt rather flustered and could form no reply to Boss Nass's question.

 "M'zga Jinn, Lemme pree-sen'thissa here 'nitiate fo' float-float lessons."  Boss Nass grabbed Obi-Wan's shoulders and shoved him directly under the Jedi Master's nose.  Obi-Wan gasped in horror at the well-muscled chest six inches in front of his face, and managed to stammer out, 

"Honorable Boss Nass, I have no intentions of practicing levitation at your fish-watching meditation.  Please do not think that I moved this way in order to beg for a teacher."

 To Obi-Wan's great surprise, Master Jinn smiled politely at him.

 "I would be happy to help you with levitation practice, Initiate." 

Startled, Obi-Wan swallowed then regained his composure by reaching into the Force and allowing its relaxing power to flow through him. 

"Thank you, sir.  But I am . . . I do not care to practice levitation during a meditation exercise." 

"Why na'?" Boss Nass interrupted.  "M'zga Jinn willin'.  Even dough he no like t' float- float." 

"Master Jinn is all generosity." Obi-Wan replied tightly, not enjoying the sensation of the Master's cool eyes upon him. 

"'Cos he is!  Him boom-ba bad Jedi.  And he wanna train Maxi-Big Force 'nitiate in float- float." 

At this last statement, Boss Nass winked and gave Obi-Wan a nudge that nearly knocked the young man off his feet.  Obi-Wan recovered, took a deep breath and bowed low to Master Jinn and returned with haste to the meditation circle that was preparing to begin another line of thought.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

The Lüng-b'urne Creche was at its morning meal when a holovid message was delivered via mainframe vendor link.  HI-55 brought the download through to the initiate it was addressed to.  Jah'nne smiled at the droid, thanking it in her quiet tones.  She glanced at the sender field. 

"It is from NethaTheed," she informed the Creche. 

"Ooo!" enthused the Housekeeper and snatched the holoplayer from her charge's hands and flipped it onto the center of the table so that all could hear the message. A small hologram of Mas Amedda lit up the bread roll warming pan.    
                      "Honorable Initiate.                             
Please dine with Lott Dodd, Nute Gunray  
and me at NethaTheed today.  We long to  
better our relations with the most famous of                             
all Initiate Creches on this fair and beautiful   
planet.                             
Please come to the palace as soon as you are  
pleased to do so.  The Jedi Masters are visiting   
Ankura and we would so enjoy your honorable company. 

With profound respect and admiration,   
Mas Amedda."

"Oh, he did express himself well in that holovid, didn't he?" cried Fan'iy, "And so grateful to have the probable honor of your presence, Jah'nne.  You must go as soon as possible" 

Jah'nne turned to Master Yoda, "May I ride the speeder there, Master Yoda?" 

Yoda looked up from his datapad of Gungan psychology and opened his mouth but his Housekeeper beat him to it. 

"Certainly not!  You must ride a kaadu.  The army of Theed is engaged in blaster firing practice today." 

"Mistress!" Jah'nne cried horrified that she was to be put in danger on her way to a luncheon engagement. 

"Of course, silly thing!" cried the Twi'lek, "The firing practice will cross the main route, there's no way you can possible come home then.  Would you go all the way to NethaTheed and not be in the presence of Master Windu."

 "Mistress Fan'iy . . . " started Obi-Wan but the Housekeeper was adamant and Master Yod shrugged his small shoulders and disappeared back into his meditation room.  
   
Poor Jah'nne was forced to leave on a rather nervous kaadu tastefully decorated with giant Goff bird feathers.  Obi-Wan watched her purposefully guiding the nimble creature along the path to Theed.  He was certain this plan of their Housekeeper's was not going to secure a training bond between his Creche-mate and Master Windu.  

Jah'nne had not been long gone when the remaining members of the Creche where roused from their studies by the sound of blaster fire.  The initiates were uneasy for their eldest Creche-mate but the Housekeeper was delighted.  The firing continued the whole evening without intermission; Jah'nne certainly could not have returned except in very small pieces. 

"What a lucky idea of mine this was." cooed Fan'iy as though she had ordered the army herself. 

The next morning however there was an audiogram from Jah'nne to Obi-Wan.                               
"Creche-mate,   
                          I find myself unable to return to   
                          Lüng-b'urne today which I suppose, is  
                           due to my being shot at yesterday.  
                           The kaadu is dead but the droids at  
                           NethaTheed were kind enough to use   
                          what little was left to make quite a  
                           delicious stew.                             
The kind Master Windu has insisted   
                          that I remain here until the bacta  
                           has removed all the scars.  
                             Therefore do not be alarmed if you   
                          hear that another shipment of bacta  
                           has been sent to NethaTheed.  Excepting   
                          a few laser burns and one shrapnel plug   
                          embedded in my leg there is not much  
                           the matter with me.  
                             Yours, &etc."

"Mmm," Master Yoda regarded his Housekeeper, "If from these wounds, die your charge should.  Pleased you may be, by your orders got them she did." 

"Nonsense," snapped the overexcited Twi'lek.  "Initiates, especially Jedi initiates, do not die from trifling wounds.  She will be very well taken care of." 

Obi-Wan turned to his Creche Mistress, "I am going to NethaTheed to see Jah'nne, Mistress." 

"What?" cried the Housekeeper.  "Don't be silly.  You had better spend you time going to the government buildings with your Creche-mates and see the senators working to open talks with the Trade Federation."

 "Oh yes, Obi!" giggled Maul, "Khi'to and I are going early to see if we can use the Force make it seem like a windy day and blow their robes up their legs." 

Both initiates made 'umhumm' noises and fell about in giggling fits.  Master Yoda banged the table with his gimer stick as a signal for silence and the youngest initiates calmed themselves. 

"Force, believe I do, two silliest of initiates sitting here are.  Obi-Wan, take this am I, as hint that the speeder you will need."

 "Oh no, Master, I fully intend to walk."  Obi-Wan bowed low to the small trainer.

 "Walk." screeched the Housekeeper.  "The paths are all ruts, pot-holes and trenches from the blasters yesterday.  You cannot walk through all that ash, mud and grenade slime in your initiate whites and robe, you will not be fit to be seen by the Masters." 

"But I shall be fit to see Jah'nne and help the Bacta droids which is all I care about.  I am going, Mistress."  Obi-Wan prepared to mind-whammie the Housekeeper but she acquiesced in a huff before he could begin.

 

Obi-Wan levitated himself over a large trench and landed lightly on the other side.  Unfortunately the solid ground was covered in a heavy layer of chemical slime.  He shook the slime off his robe but it left the hem an acid-eaten chemical-stained mess.  He shrugged and entered the city from a side gate.  

It was early yet and the merchants were mostly near the main foyer of the palace.   Obi-Wan had no interest in going anywhere near the main entrance.  He knew one of the kitchen droids and fully intended to ask F28-C38 to show him Jah'nne's room and inquire after her health from the medic droids there.  As far as Obi-Wan was concerned there was absolutely no reason in the Force why the Masters should even know or care that he was in the palace. 

He made his way up a garden path and turned the corner beside the shrubbery leading to the kitchen garden.  Directly in front of him stood Master Qui-Gon Jinn.   He paused, collected himself and bowed low to the Jedi Master who was regarding him with a small measure of surprise. 

"Initiate Kenobi?" 

"I greet you in peace, Master Jinn.  I have come to inquire after my Creche-mate." 

"On foot?  Through an uncleared blaster field?" the Master asked, with a raised eyebrow.

 "As you see, sir." Obi-Wan tried hard to control his emotions and not blush so much, "Will you be so kind as to direct me to my Creche-mate?"

 To his surprise, Master Jinn gave him a small smile and motioned him to enter the palace through the sky-lit garden entrance.  There at the long table set before the huge windows sat Master Windu, the Neimoidians and the Chagrian.  Master Windu rose at once as Obi-Wan bowed low to him. 

"Initiate Kenobi.  Master Jinn tells me you are hear to see your Creche-mate." 

Master Windu's eyes were dark and kind.  Obi-Wan squirmed to think what Master Jinn had said telepathically to Master Windu about his arrival and appearance.  But he merely stood respectfully before the Jedi Master and answered his questions honestly and without fear. 

"Yes, Master.  I became concerned for her health when I received her audiogram this morning.  Her voice, through mechanically reproduced, filled me with a sense of foreboding.  I resolved to see her as soon as possible.  I apologize for disturbing your breakfast, Master." 

"Not at all", Master Windu said comfortingly.  "F28-C38 will take you to her directly.  She is responding very well to the bacta, the medic-droids say." 

Obi-Wan bowed once more as his droid friend arrived and began to conduct him up the stairs.  He could hear the murmur of voices in the breakfast room and cringed to think what Master Jinn might be saying about him.  He decided that he didn't care, he cared that he may have made his Creche-mate or even his Creche look poorly in front on Master Windu.

Jah'nne was floating in the full body bacta bath.  Obi-Wan came in the room and looked into the reddish swirling fluid.  Jah'nne looked unconscious but when Obi reached out with his mind, calling her, her eyes, just visible above the breathing apparatus, opened and she was able to nod to him.

 //Jah'nne are you  . . . ?//  He stopped, as he could see what Jah'nne had not mentioned in her audiogram.  The shrapnel had not only embedded itself in her leg, the accompanying blast had almost removed her leg entirely.   He looked about and chose a corner that was not being used by droids or healing mechanics and seated himself.  He calmed his turbulent emotions and slid into a meditation and, although he was not trained to do so, he did his best to send healing thoughts to Jah'nne.

 

* * *

 

Obi-Wan opened his eyes and stared up at Master Jinn, who was leaning over him.  He glanced about.  He was lying on a couch in a charmingly decorated sitting room.  Master Windu stood nearby.  The Neimoidians and the Chagrian were seated at a nearby table where they were smoking from a shared shisha oil-pipe.

 "Your healing technique was excellent," Master Windu said gently. "For one who has not been trained, you showed remarkable initiative.  I think your friend is progressing well.  I have sent to Lüng-b'urne for your clothing as I sense that you wish to remain with your Creche-mate.  She is responding to you and I believe it will hasten her recovery."   

Obi-Wan blushed at Master Windu's praise but he felt welcomed by the Jedi Master and made only polite demurs against staying.  
   Obi-Wan raised himself and looked about.  The Neimoidian, Nute Gunray, offered him a smoke.  Obi-Wan thanked him politely but refused saying he needed to meditate. 

"You do not care for shared shisha?" commented Lott Dodd, "That is rather singular." 

"Initiate Kenobi," said Mas Amedda, "despises shisha.  He is a great meditater and has no pleasure in anything else." 

Obi-Wan gasped then replied, "I deserve neither such praise nor such censure.  I am not a great meditater and I take pleasure in many things." 

Those who were smoking, chuckled.  Mas Amedda turned and peered about then spotted Master Jinn who was standing near the audiogram recorder.

"And what do you do so secretly, Great Master Jinn?"

 The Master turned and glanced at the Chagrian, "It is no secret.  I am sending a communication to my ward." 

"Ah, the wonderful Sabé Naberrie!  How I long to see her again," Mas Amedda gushed. "Is she much grown in the Force since I last saw her?  Is she much grown in height?  Is she as tall as I am?" 

The smokers chuckled together and the two Neimoidians patted each others' hands in a signal of shared amusement. 

"She is about at the same training level and physical height as Initiate Kenobi." 

"And so well trained to be a Padawan." Mas Amedda continued, "Her performance with the lightsaber is exquisite"

 "All the initiates here are well trained in lightsaber dueling, meditation, levitation and I know not what else."  Master Windu smiled on Obi-Wan, who felt much better.  

Master Jinn seated himself at a console across the room from the shisha smokers.

 "I have not tested more then half a dozen initiates anywhere in all my travels that I would consider to be truly well-trained." 

"Naturally," agreed Mas Amedda.  "No initiate can truly be called well-trained and prepared to bond as a Padawan unless they have a thorough knowledge of the ten most popular cultures in the Republic, including languages, protocol, bonding ceremony etiquette, culinary manners and ambassadorial duties.  And besides all this they must possess a certain something of the Force in their air, their manner of levitating, lightsaber dueling and mind whammies."

 "All this they must possess," added Master Jinn, "And they must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of their minds and control of the Force by extensive meditation."

 Obi-Wan swallowed and calmed his mind before he ventured.

"Then Master Jinn, I am no longer surprised you not testing more than half a dozen such initiates.  I am surprised that you have tested any." 

"You are very severe on your fellow initiates," Mas Amedda commented.  Obi-Wan shrugged.

"I speak as I sense." 

Mas Amedda laughed mockingly.

"Perhaps if you eventually become a Padawan apprentice you will see something of the Republic.  And like those of us with broader experience then you, you will find there are many initiates who are well-trained in this way." 

At this point, Lott Dodd began to complain that no one was monitoring the oil level in the shisha.  Nute and Mas Amedda turned their attention from Obi-Wan.  Obi-Wan closed his eyes and reached out into the Force, unaware that Master Jinn was observing him closely.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Obi-Wan spent a great deal of that night in the healing chamber before Jah'nne's bacta bath. Although he was encouraged by her more frequent returns to consciousness, he still felt that he needed better advice. He sent an audiogram to his Creche Mistress explaining what had happened and begging her to come and look for herself on how her eldest charge did.

Fan'iy and the two youngest Initiates arrived by Gian landspeeder with in half an hour of the audio being dispatched. Master Windu received the Housekeeper/Creche Governess with great civility and asked her what she thought of her charge's condition. 

"Oh, Honorable Master, I do not know what would have become of her if you and your kind, devoted staff had not helped her. Indeed she suffers deeply and remains gravely wounded. I do not know if our poor planet possesses the necessary medical droids to insure her safe return to our Temple. We live as you know, Master, much removed from city life. My dear Master Trainer feels the atmosphere beneficial to initiates and is excessively fond of the swamp life." 

Master Windu smiled and inclined his head. 

"I will not hear of Initiate Jah'nne's being moved during such a delicate convalescence, Mistress Fan'iy. You may rest assured that she will continue to receive the best of care here at NethaTheed." 

 "Well," the Twi'lek looked about the airy palace foyer that stretched to a vast dome high above them at flowed down a long avenue to the main exit to the Palace gardens. 

"You have a sweet hall here and a fine prospect of the main avenue of Theed from the tower walk. I am certain you do not have such beauty on Aldaraan or Coruscant. I hope you will be staying with us on Naboo for some time."

 Master Windu smiled. 

"As a Jedi Master and Member of the High Council Mistress I am bound to the Republic and its needs. I cannot at this time give you an exact estimate of the length of my stay here."

 "Well whatever time you have I trust in the Force that a Master of your caliber will be putting it to good use. There are many talented initiates here and I imagine you will be most impressed by them." 

Master Windu merely bowed but Master Jinn turned and regarded the Mistress coldly.

 "Initiates can be had on many planets, Mistress Fan'iy, testing Creches is not our sole purpose in being here."

 Mistress Fan'iy gasped and her red skin turned almost orange with rage. 

"Perhaps it is not the only planet with initiates, sir, but I think there are few planets which have such a high concentration of well-trained initiates. I will have you know, sir that on Naboo we have more than four and twenty Creches; each with at least three initiates."

Master Jinn merely shrugged slightly and turned to the window. Obi-Wan blushed to see Master Jinn was actually hiding a smile. Obi-Wan knew that on Aldaraan's chief city there were over two hundred Creches many with over thirty initiates being taught. The Neimoidians widened their eye-slits at each other humorously and Mas Amedda had a coughing fit that still did not cover his grin.

 "Mistress," Obi-Wan changed the subject as quickly as he could to try and cover his Mistress's lack of culture, "has I'Ole been to the Temple at all?" 

Mistress Fan'iy waved her headtails vaguely,  "Oh yes, she came by yesterday. Boss Nass was with her. Such an agreeable Creche Governer. He is traditional and very fashionable. Boss Nass is truly my idea of a good trainer. Those Masters who fancy themselves so attuned to the Force that they scorn others and never test initiates or offer testing tourneys are not to be recommended to train Padawans"  

Maul piped up at this point.

"And Master Windu you said when you first arrived that you would be hosting a tourney. It would be the most shameful and un-Jedi like behavior if you didn't keep your word while staying here in the Palace." 

Master Windu delighted both younger initiates and their Housekeeper with his reply.

"I am perfectly ready I assure you, to keep my promise and when your Creche-mate is recovered, you, Initiate Maul, shall name the date of the tourney."  This raised a chorus of delighted noise. Khi'to, his cup-shaped antena almost starting out of the top of his head, began to tell Mistress Fan'iy he needed new whites, Mistress Fan'iy was busied invoking her gods and demigods and Maul began to chase his robe happily

 "Now that is a Force-guided statement. That is the mark of a Jedi Master." Mistress Fan'iy shook her headtails and still smiling, Master Windu politely escorted the Creche-members out to the gardens.

Embarrassed and angry with his Creche-Mistress for not doing more for Jah'nne. Obi-Wan turned, bowed to Master Jinn's back and returned to Jah'nne for another healing meditation.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Jah'nne watched as Obi-Wan polished his formal white initiate boots then laced them into place. He rose and braided his ruddy hair and tied it back with a white leather thong. He glanced in the mirror then turned to Jah'nne. 

She was now lying in a bed having been removed from the bacta. She would likely be ambulatory tomorrow or the day after. 

"Well, shall I embarrass our Creche?" he asked and turned around so she could check his attire. Jah'nne smiled gallantly at him. "

You look very well and the Force flows strongly through you, Obi-Bunnie, and you know it." 

"I'd rather stay here and meditate with you," Obi-Wan said truthfully. "Those Neimoidians and the oh so superior senate assistant wish me on Jundland wastes. Only your Master Windu is kind and encouraging." 

"He is not my Master, Obi-Wan," Jah'nne said with a small touch of sadness in her voice. Obi-Wan sat on the edge of the bed and then leaned down and kissed his Creche-mate's cheek.

"Well, perhaps not at the moment but I sense that he soon will be." 

Jah'nne smiled and found enough strength to give him a little shove, "Go and be polite."

Obi-Wan headed toward what he understood to be the room he was to meet Master Windu. He pushed the door operator and stepped into the room. It didn't look like a meditation chamber it looked rather like a small gymnasium. 

In the center stood Master Jinn. His brown robe was tossed aside and he stood battle-ready in his cream undertunic, trousers and rugged travel boots.  His lightsaber was ignited and glowed a brilliant, beautiful green. Obi-Wan stared at him. Master Jinn froze the targeting practice device with a simple hand motion and returned the Initiate's gaze. 

After a moment, he bowed politely. Obi-Wan caught himself and his manners and bowed low to the Jedi Master and retreated from the room hurriedly. F28-C38 came through and Obi-Wan was conducted by a friendly if mechanical face to the cozy parlor where Master Windu was waiting for him.

Obi-Wan was most honored and rather awed that Master Windu and Master Jinn planned only to meditate. The afternoon was spent pleasantly enough. Master Windu had a gentle powerful presence that Obi-Wan felt was well worth experiencing. He thoroughly enjoyed himself and felt that he had achieved several new insights.

Later that evening, Obi-Wan was still drifting with the tendrils of his earlier trance. Master Windu was studying a datapad and Master Jinn was working a small hyperdrive plate. Mas Amedda was discussing almost everything concerned with the task Master Jinn was involved with. Obi-Wan had great difficulty trying to hide his emotions as he listened to their exchange. 

"How pleased the High Council of Jedi will be to receive your work, Master Jinn." 

The Jedi Master did not respond.

 "You work very quickly." 

"You are mistaken, I work very slowly." 

"How many hyperdrive components and other mechanical devices you must deal with and repair as a Jedi Master. Droid parts as well. I find such tasks tedious."

 "Then perhaps it is the will of the Force that I am the one in this party who can perform such actions."

 "Will there be priming pilons installed in this component?"

 "I have already programmed them in."

 "I think you wish to recalibrate your sonic welder. Allow me to recalibrate it for you. I recalibrate welders very well." 

"Thank you - but Jedi always mend their own tools." 

"How is it that you can concentrate on such small mechanical parts for so long?" 

The Jedi Master was silent. "

That reminds me. Perhaps you might consider programming in a Talo-effect "lens" for subatomic analysis and attach its components to the oscillation overtherister. I have always thought the Jedi design of the lens is far superior to any other engineered ones."

 "Mas Amedda, there is not room on this plate for either of these devices. Perhaps they can installed on secondary plates at a later time."

 "Oh, it is not of any navigational importance. I intend to return to the Senate by galaxy class quite soon. Do you always bring such excellently designed and aesthetically pleasing items before the High Council?" 

"They are generally well designed but as to whether they are aesthetically pleasing to the High Council is not for me to decide."

Through hooded eyes, Obi-Wan watched as Mas Amedda finally walked away from Master Jinn and proceeded to stroll about the room rather like a dwarf nuna wanting to be fed. He was about to return to his trance when Mas Amedda's blue six-fingered hand landed on his shoulder. He looked up wonderingly and was surprised further at the Senate Aide's words.

 "Initiate Kenobi. Let me persuade you to follow my example and walk mindfully about the room - After sitting in meditation, it's so refreshing." 

Obi-Wan stared blankly at the Chagrian for a moment, could not think of an excuse to refuse so he politely rose to walk at the Chagrian's side. As the traditions of Chagrian people demanded, Mas Amedda grasped the initiate's hand in his and held it against his bent forearm as they slowly strolled from one end of the room to the other. 

Obi-Wan felt Master Jinn eye's upon him and looked at the Master and saw that Mas Amedda was also regarding the Jedi Master. Mas Amedda addressed Master Jinn directly .

"Master Qui-Gon, please join us as we walk mindfully. It is a Jedi practice you yourself have recommended often." 

Obi-Wan was startled to see the Master put aside the plating he was working on and turn in his seat to watch them fully. 

"If I were to join your meditation it would interfere with both of you." 

Mas Amedda clamped his hand tighter against Obi-Wan's and demanded to know what the Initiate thought Master Jinn meant by such a statement. Obi-Wan felt his innate sense of playfulness returning and looked directly at the Master seated before them. 

"I think it would be wiser not to ask. He is a Master and thus may know our minds better than we would like to think." 

"I do not agree with that plan. Master Qui-Gon, I ask that you explain yourself."

 "I am happy to," smiled the Jedi Master. "You both choose to pass the time this way because either you are not truly meditating but are in fact in each other's confidence and have secrets to share. Or you are conscious that as humanoids your physical abilities and attributes can be judged best when you are in motion and, as a Jedi Master, I am a good judge of such abilities but would be in your way if I were to walk with you. By observing you from a distance I can make my judgments while consulting the Force in a half-trance."

 Mas Amedda gasped and struck a pose that was so affected Obi-Wan was quite discomforted by it.

 "An abominable reply!" The Chagrian squeezed Obi-Wan's arm eagerly as they swung out in to the far side of their orbit of the room.

"Initiate Kenobi, how should we punish him for his sithy answer?" 

Slightly shocked at Mas Amedda's disrespect for the Jedi Master, but encouraged by the Master's seeming good humor, Obi-Wan smiled and looked at the seated Master who they had once more reached and now paused in front of. 

"That is a simple task. Tease or laugh at him." 

Mas Amedda dropped Obi-Wan's arm as though Obi-Wan has started secreting bantha rectal acid.

 "Laugh at Master Qui-Gon Jinn: the Master and Head trainer at the High Council Temple on Coruscant? That is ridiculous. There is nothing to tease him about nor is there any fault or mistake one can laugh at."

 "Those who are attuned to the Force are not one with the Force. Living creatures are subject to the whims of others as well as their own. Living creatures, whether we like to admit it, even a Jedi Masters, do make mistakes."

 "Master Jinn does not share the faults of common swamp dwellers." 

Cool in the face of the insult directed at his Dagobari Master, Obi-Wan shrugged.

"Swamp Dwellers also wear the brown robes of Mastery be they on Naboo or Coruscant. But they, have never in my knowledge, claimed to be without fault." Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at Master Jinn still seated before him. 

Mas Amedda had put a good deal of distance between himself and Obi-Wan. 

"A living creature without fault is impossible." Master Jinn paused a moment looking at Obi-Wan. The Initiate cleared his mind and gazed back at the Master, he was unafraid. "I have faults enough, Initiate Kenobi, but I doubt they are of understanding. You suggest vain pride. However pride in serving the Force is no fault any more than pride in oneself for possessing a wealth of knowledge as given by a Force-attuned Master. As for faults or mistakes of character, my temper, though well-guarded from the dark side might, if I allowed it, be called resentful. My good opinion once lost is lost forever." 

Obi-Wan searched his feelings then, "Such an allowance would truly be of the dark side. That in itself is darkness and a fault. As an initiate of the Light I cannot laugh at it." 

"There is in every natural humanoid and others a tendency towards a particular darkness. Training should overcome this and if not then control it."

' "And yours, Master, is to disdain those you consider beneath you?"

 "And yours, Initiate, to willfully misinterpret any lesson taught to you?"

 "Oh, let us perform Wookie platform dances." cried Mas Amedda, tired of a conversation of which he could neither participate in or understand. 

"Nute Gunray, would you and Lott Dodd object to playing the bontormian klesplong and omni box for us?" The Neimoidians did not have the slightest objections to this plan and the instruments were assembled and the complex physical poses and formations began.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

The next day Jah'nne pronounced herself well and Master Windu having watched her descend the grand staircase agreed with her diagnosis. 

Feeling that the Housekeeper would find a mysterious reason not to send a speeder for them Obi-Wan steeled himself and asked Master Windu if they might borrow his. The Master was delighted to lend his personal air taxi, which he had requested sent from Coruscant some time ago, to the Initiates. He assured both Obi-Wan and Jah'nne that they were to inform their Trainer that he was welcome to join himself and Master Jinn in meditation, any time convenient. 

His delight seemed to be universal except, Obi-Wan noticed, when Jah'nne went to thank him for his kindness and care for her. His pleasure seemed to dim when she bowed and turned to leave.

 Mas Amedda was profoundly sorry to see his dear friend Initiate Jah'nne leave. He told her to send a communique as soon as she reached home to assure them of her continued good health. The Neimoidians were highly ingratiating and Master Jinn was about as polite as a wampa with a tusk ache. Obi-Wan took the controls of the speeder, gave Jah'nne a moment to wave to those who remained at the palace, and they were gone directly.

 "Oh, Jah'nne! I am so glad to be away from there. Mas Amedda was about to have me skinned alive or boiled or both. I never thought or dreamed I would be required to be a second in the middle pair for a Wookie platform dance. I can't even begin to explain half my aches and pains." 

Jah'nne giggled companionably, "I'm sure Mistress will have something in her medicinal cabinet that'll give you some relief, though that groin strain might take a while to heal. Why did you not tell Master Windu seeing as the medic-droids were still there?" 

"And give Master Jinn that satisfaction? Never!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged that a lone  Jedi Master of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

"Hope I do, yummy dinner planning, you are," Master Yoda commented to his Housekeeper during the morning meal. "Reason I have, additional eaters expecting."

 "Ooo! And guess whose coming to dinner?" giggled the Creche Governess, her eyes sparkled like a Huttese coin-counting light, "Master Windu, of course! Jah'nne, you sly thing, you never said a word. And there isn't a piece of Baby Colo Claw fish to be had. Maul, my little worrt, press the summoner. I must speak to HI-55 this instant."

 "Bloody Master Windu, it is not." Master Yoda had to shout to be heard over the Twi'lek's nails rapping the flatware and Maul pressing the summoner several times in rapid succession with his forehead. 

"Person it is, never saw in entire life. Person, of course, around hasn't been probably that long. Seven hundred years time long damn to be." 

Both Maul and Fan'iy desisted their activities and everyone waited as Master Yoda dug through his robe looking for the device he had shoved in one of his robe's many, many pockets. 

"Mmm, So. Received audiovid I did. Last month it came. Answered it yesterday I did. Delicacy and tact it required. From Senator Orn Free Taa. If dead I become. Turn this swamp into strip mall he can before cold in grave I am or dressed for my funeral you are. Dump you on Theed main thoroughfare he can."

 "That despicable creature!" cried the Ceche Governess. "He is spawn of the dark side, Master Yoda. I think you ought to strike him down with your lightsaber as soon as he arrives. Maul and Khi'to will hold him if you like. And since we live in a swamp if anyone asks, we'll all just assume he sank somewhere. It happens, dear," Fan'iy assured Jah'nne who was looking a little bug-eyed at the Housekeeper's suggestions. 

"Iniquitous crime it is, our Senator being. Clear him of this nothing can. Except recount maybe. His audiovid listen to you should. Make squishy your opinion it might."

 The Master located the device and propped it on the table. A strange dolorous voice filled the room and within seconds was competing with Maul's quiet snores.

"Honorable Jedi Master, The location of your Creche and the swamp it rests in has always given me much uneasiness. I have frequently thought of having the structure moved or at least the gardens shored up.  My mind is now firmly made up on the  subject.   
Having received enough votes at the  last Senatorian secretary election I have been  distinguished by the patronage of Finis Valorum,  the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic whose  beneficence has settled me in a charming  condominium near his summer residence on  Aldaraan.   
As a senator with connections  to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant (via my friend, Fin.) I also feel it my duty to be seen as a senator of approachability, responsible action and baby-kisser extrordinaire.  Thus I intend on taking the Naboo bound inter-planetary  skybus to drop by your boggy abode and see what might be done with the place, in the light of its present state of swampiness.   
I am eager to see and be seen with your Amiable initiates and remain your friendly always helpful  neighborhood senator."

"Well," cried Mistress Fan'iy, "if he is going to make this place prettier and comfier, that's fine and dandy but I would suggest that all of you remember his connections."

 The audio cut out at this point and then there was a crackle and the Lüng-b'urne Creche were privileged to hear Senator Orn Free Taa's year old campaign slogan "A Vote for Me is a Vote to be Free" which, when translated into Dagobarian script, Master Yoda was pleased to inform them, actually read "I have no dick".

 "Whether or not he possess genitals, I think we should wonder if he is in fact in possession of a brain?" Obi-Wan commented, looking worriedly at his master. 

"My Obi-Bunnie, no. Great hopes I have finding the senator, dickless and brainless both. Arriving he is in time for lunch. If Skybus schedule correct and no delays." 

Both Obi-Wan and Jah'nne giggled. The Inter-Planetary Skybus aka IPS or 'Oops' as most sentient beings called it was notorious. The Creche automatically assumed the Senator would be joining them for afternoon snackies.

It was nearly time for the evening meal when Obi-Wan was the first to hear the distant thundering. Within seconds the entire Creche was out on the front porchway listening to the thundering hoof-steps and the roars of surprise liberally sprinkled with cuss words. It was Master Yoda who identified the sound as the tri-clawed hooves of the Falumpaset. Obi-Wan didn't know what was worse, his intense desire to pity the poor humpbacked, long-legged grassland creature or shriek with laughter at the load it bore. The senator was trying to blend in with the locals. He was riding the poor pathetic creature.

Senator Orn Free Taa was a tall, very heavy-looking, young blue-skinned Twi'lek of about five and forty standard years. His robe for the Senate was deepest blue and embellished with all sorts of gaudy jewels and embroideries. He was not two seconds within the foyer when he began to compliment the Housekeeper and the Master. Obi-Wan peeped at his Trainer as the Dagobari gazed peaceably as his guest seated himself on the Master's right at the dinner table.

"Fortunate you seem in choice of patron," Master Yoda observed with surprising affability. Orn Free Taa swallowed his mouthful of tasty tree gumbol loaf and wiped the gravy with his sleeve.

 "Indeed, Jedi Master, I am. Never in my life have I observed such behavior in a person of rank such affability and condescension as I, myself have experienced from Chancellor Valorum. He has even visited me at my humble abode on Aldaraan."

 "Does the Chancellor stay near you, senator? A summer residence I think you said." Mistress Fan'iy's interest in neighbors was constant whether it was on her own planet or someone else's. 

"The cul-de-sac beside which stands my humble abode is separated only by a lane from Rozingz private golf course, at the center of which is the summer residence and club of the Chancellor. "

"Mmm. Lane only, Obi-Wan. Imagine that you can?" 

Obi-Wan was obliged to press his sleeves to his face in a small meditation gesture.

 "I think you said he was divorced, senator. Has he any little chancellors running about?" Mistress Fan'iy always liked to put a friendly spin on personal questions. 

"He has only one legally recognized daughter, who will inherit the Valorum Estate and other extensive stock holdings and patents."

 "Is she a pleasant sort of girl?" Fan'iy quit pulling her punches and was going straight for the jugular which considering the girth of the senator's neck would take quite some time.

 "Oh!" the senator actually paused eating to elucidate. "She is a most charming young lady indeed. She is unfortunately of an unpleasant constitution which prevents her making that progress in many accomplishments which she could not have otherwise have failed at." 

"Has she been presented to the Senate?" 

"Her indifferent state of mannerisms prevents her from being on Coruscant and by that means, as I told Chancellor Valorum myself one day, has deprived the entire Republic of one of its brightest and loudest spectacles. As you may imagine, my dear Jedi Master, I am happy on every and any occasion to offer those little delicate compliments which are always acceptable to those in power over me." 

"Happy it is that possess you do talent for up kissing with delicacy. Ask may I whether attentions pleasing from the moment proceed or careful study the result of?"

 Obi-Wan realized that he had stuffed three quarters of his napkin in his mouth and was in danger of swallowing. He sent a pleading glance to his Master who was much too busy toying with whatever the senator had in the way of gray matter.

"They arise chiefly from what is passing at the time although I have several excellent volumes on how to make friends and impress people and my therapist assures me my people skills are developing nicely." 

The Senator sent Jah'nne a most ingratiating leer, which caused her to inhale some water. 

"Excellent." Master Yoda was delighted. The senator was a complete idiot and there was nothing more to do than make fun of him to his face and watch his two favorite initiates pop their frontal lobes trying to force the Force to control their laughter. Today was definitely a good day.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

The sun shone brightly the next morning and seeing as how there was an important guest, lessons were set aside that day.  The garden, though still squishy from the morning neap tide, was lovely. All five initiates were sent out to get some fresh air and amuse themselves in the sun. 

Mistress Fan'iy and her new buddy, Senator Orn Free Taa took a calming constitutional along the gravel paths while the initiates played in the grasses. 

"You have such gifted initiates, Mistress Fan'iy. As you know I am connected to the Chancellor and he, of course, holds great sway at the Jedi Academy Temple on Coruscant. I wonder . . . "  

Mistress Fan'iy's head tails quirked excitedly. "You were wondering something, senator?"

 "Your eldest . . . ?"

 "Oh yes, dearest Jah'nne. She is respected and venerated wherever she goes. But I feel that the Force may be bonding her to a Master very soon. As for the others, they . . . I . . . they're all good to go!" 

Orn Free Taa let his pudgy eyes wander over the five happy initiates. Maul was showing Khi'to how he could find crawfish in the mud with his horns and that the shells made a fascinating crunchy sound between his teeth. Flas-Ok was trying to stroll and read from the datapad she was levitating in front of her with limited success. Jah'nne and Obi-Wan were touching the trees to sense in the Force if any were needing a dose of quik-gro. 

"Mistress," Maul's whine rose above the wild cheeping of underage Kaadus in the hedgerows. "We wanna go to Theed and play at the Arcade and see if Baskol Yeesrim is back from Coruscant."

 Mistress Fan'iy nodded to the initiates and turned to the senator. 

"Walkies?" 

 But the senator was already roiling his bulk to the tree-line.

"Initiate Kenobi, would you like to stroll into town with me? Pretty puh-leeze?" 

Obi-Wan had time to roll his eyes back into his head before bowing politely to the senator. 

The walk into Theed Main Market was something of a trial for Obi-Wan. He had been forced to chat politely with the visiting senator, who was telling him repeatedly of his connections with the Chancellor and the Temple.  Obi-Wan sensed almost immediately that the Senator had singled him out as a prospective aide/consort despite his inferences about Padawan training. 

 Jah'nne had walked quietly with Fas-Ok. Obi thought he vaguely overheard them talking about "Four Lice make Surmises on the Training and Care of Padawans".  

Maul and Khi'to were running little races out in front, holding impromptu screaming matches and occasionally kicking each other.  Fortunately things became slightly more sedate as the main street to the Government House. Maul and Khi'to fully inspected and rummaged though every street vendor's cart though Jah'nne drew the line at the incident with the vegetable cart pulled by the hardy falumpaset. Both Obi-Wan and Jah'nne had to settle things with the vendor with many stern promises, mind whammies and a grumbly apology from Maul. The meadow beast was a mental write-off but, on the whole, the event was brought to a happy close.

 

Useless Ancient Jedi Quotation:  
It is said that dark thoughts bring dark things   
Dark things bring dark appetites,   
Dark appetites feed on dark meats.   
So watch which guest fancies a bit of leg.  
End of Useless Ancient Jedi Quotation.

   
The Creche re-grouped itself on the square. Fas-Ok was quoting Huttese Haikus, Khi'to was feeling sorry for himself, Jah'nne was employing a Jedi deep-breathing exercise for calmness, Maul was occasionally spitting up twice chewed meadow grass and Obi-Wan was ready to disembowel the Senator.

 "Baskol Yeesrim!!" Maul's combined howl of recognition and demand for attention earned the party a smile and genial wave from the newly returned senator. He and his humanoid companion jogged lightly across the square to where Maul was jumping up and down, eager to greet them and controlled only by Jah'nne's death grip on the youngest initiate's right ear. 

When the two arrived, Jah'nne was able to let go as Maul was now content to bobble up and down in an excited way, closely mimicked by Khi'to. 

"What a delicious joke!" Maul drooled into the friendly senator's tunic, "We came into town to see if you had returned from Coruscant. And here you are, serving yourself up like lunch." 

 Senator Yeesrim deftly moved out of the range of Maul's peg-like teeth and laughed in a hearty old being senator kind of way.

 "There was nothing amusing enough to keep us there. Allow me to introduce my good buddy and fellow senator. The newly elected Senator Palpatine. Senator, the initiates of the Lüng-b'urne Creche; Jah'nne, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Fas-Ok, Khi'to and Maul" 

The Creche members all bowed politely as did Senator Palpatine.

 "This is our own Twi'lekkian Senator Orn Free Taa," Jah'nne smiled. The three senate members bowed and watched each other out of the corners of their eyes.  

Maul began inviting the Senator and all their friends to a small impromptu supper party being given at the home of the Mérrtim Creche, which was run by Thisspiasian named Mistress Fhil'eep.  Senator Palpatine immediately endeared himself to the two older initiates by gently telling Maul that he could only come if the dear Mistress invited him. 

Obi-Wan was admiring the manners of the new acquaintance and the chat was just beginning when there was the hum of speeder engines. Khi'to turned and poked Maul, who noted in a loud voice 

"Oh, look Jah'nne! It's your friend, Master Windu." 

"Belt up." hissed Obi-Wan under his breath and all the Creche members smiled for the Master.

 "Initiate Jah'nne." Master Windu's smile was kind and welcoming as he slid the speeder bike's gear into static/hover and dropped lightly to the ground to greet the Creche members, "How fortunate! We were just on our way to the Creche to inquire after your health." 

Obi-Wan turned and carefully hid a grimace as he saw Master Jinn slowing to park next to his friend's bike. Senator Palpatine turned from opening his mouth to participate in the conversation. He and Master Jinn faced at each other.  

Obi-Wan was startled as he felt the sudden icy cold bolt that traveled along the Force between the two men. They recognized each other, knew each other well and quite obviously had no liking for one another. Palpatine paled, swallowed hard and bowed politely. Master Jinn looked like he had stepped in Dewback poo-doo, turned without comment and rode off in a swirl of dust and high dudgeon.

Later, at the supper party, Obi-Wan slipped away from Senator Orn Free Taa to drop exhausted on a pink velvet upholstered lounger set out on the balcony overlooking the Main Square. Mistress liked to have her naps in the afternoon sunshine she said but no one moved or breathed in the Square without Mistress Fhil'eep knowing about it.

 Obi-Wan was nursing a third Naboogria, which the Mistress was a dab hand at mixing and stirring. He admired the quadruple moons all full and very silvery indeed. He twirled his finger in the drink and wished he had Maul's pretty exuberance. He always felt dowdy next to his exciting and rather excitable Creche mate. Perhaps it was the horns, he reflected.  

He jumped at the gentle touch on his shoulder. He had not sensed any presence but the surrounding darkness of the night. 

"May I keep you company?" Senator Palpatine smiled down at him. Obi-Wan immediately sat up, clumsily making room for the Senator. The Senator made soothing 'nonono' noises and pulled an old spindle chair closer to where Obi-Wan had been relaxing.  Palpatine leaned his elbows on his knees and Obi-Wan stretched back once more. They smiled at each other and Obi-Wan felt like the famous Phuii actress and opera singer Maree'lynne Mön-R'w.  

Palpatine peeked back into the supper room, noisy with Maul, Khi'to and others playing Immoral Kombat Twitcher. He then gave Obi-Wan's hand a squeeze, and murmured playfully m

"I thought I would never escape your Creche-mate."

 Obi-Wan giggled into his drink, "Few do. He bites, you know." 

 Palpatine smiled indulgently, "He and Khi'to are pleasant gambling companions, though." 

 That statement startled Obi-Wan into sitting up.  "Neither are supposed to gamble! I must-"  

"Shhhh, the Mistress has things well in hand."  Obi-Wan relaxed fully. It was wonderful to do so and he idly pondered when the last time was he had felt so completely at ease. He glanced at his companion. The senator gazed peaceably at him, there almost seemed a touch of affection in his sky blue eyes. 

 "I do not see your friends from NethaTheed?" Palpatine commented.  

Obi-Wan shrugged and snorted impolitely before he could catch himself. 

"There are some members of that household who would consider a gathering such as this to be beneath their dignity." Palpatine chuckled.

"You refer to Master Jinn." He turned and looked deeply into Obi-Wan's eyes,  "Tell me, are you much acquainted with Master Jinn?" 

"As much as I'd ever like to be, thank you very much." Obi-Wan didn't bother to hide his feelings. He felt a strange empathy with this gentle politician, "I spent three days under the same roof and found his behavior quite rude."

 "I think perhaps we are the only two who would think such a thing." Palpatine commented almost to himself. Obi-Wan sat up again but this time it was to lay a reassuring hand on the senator's.  

"Master Jinn is not at all liked on Naboo. Everyone finds his manners repellent and he's frightened at least one entire Creche of under sixes into wiggle-fits." 

Palpatine considered a moment, "Do you know if he plans to stay long at NethaTheed?" 

"I'm ignorant of his plans, Senator. But I hope they won't affect your plans to stay." 

Palpatine laughed self-deprecatingly, "No, no. If Master Jinn wishes to avoid me then he must leave. We are not on friendly terms which I think you may have witnessed, Initiate?" 

Obi-Wan blushed to own but the Senator assured him it was nothing to cause chagrin to any but himself for exposing one as young and sensitive to the Force as Obi-Wan.

 "I have no reason for avoiding him except that he has done me great wrong." Palpatin sighed in a pained manner and leaned closer lowering his voice slightly. "

His Master, Initiate Kenobi, was the finest Jedi Master ever to teach and the truest adviser and friend I ever had. My father was his Temple steward and saw to the business side of the running of that great edifice. He promised that when I was at the suitable level he would train me himself or would see me settled at the Temple on Curoscant.  

When the Master died and I reached the entrance level that Temple's Head Teacher, Master Jinn, flatly refused to honor the late teacher's dictum." 

"What?" Obi-Wan was horrified. He was aghast that a Jedi could even fathom disgracing another student or a Master in such a fashion. "That is terrible. Why did you not seek legal advice? You should have spoken with the High Council of Jedi. That is the behavior of a Sith!" 

Palpatine regarded him sympathetically a moment then said gently, "The Master was also of that Temple as well as Jinn's teacher. I could not bear the thought of disgracing the Master with such dark accusations. While I live, I will honor that great teacher." 

Obi-Wan felt small. He had given in to anger before he had even thought. "I am truly sorry you suffer so," he murmured.  

Palpatine sat back in his chair with a broad smile,  "Suffer? Me? Come now, does it look like I am suffering? I am a newly elected senator. I may not have my life's dream of giving myself in serving to the people of the Republic as a Jedi Knight, but I am still serving people. I cannot bear to be idle and my present situation is very active in the different communities. My fellow senators are all both intellectual and ethical challenges to me and I now find myself involved in an adventurous new set of negotiations and the relaxations available are most . . . pleasing. I have every cause for cheer."  

Palpatine's smile warmed Obi-Wan and sent a little thrill along his spine. He set aside his no longer interesting drink and smiled in return. Palpatine nodded approving.

 "Now, Initiate Kenobi, I forbid you to feel sorry for me."  

Right at that moment, Maul bounced out on to the balcony and flung a plate of hors d'oeuvres into the street just as Obi-Wan was starting to giggle. Maul turned and looked from Obi-Wan to the Senator. 

"Why should Obi feel sorry for you, Senator?" he demanded, spinning the semi-crystal platter between his hands.  

"Because . . . " Palpatine winked at Obi-Wan, then smiled glowingly at Maul, "because I have not played levitation chicken with Jedi Initiates for these last three standard months." 

"Poor Senator Palpatine!" Maul yelled, slinging the platter over his shoulder with abandon. "You shall play immediately. Khi'to!"  

Maul snatched the Senator by his sleeve and dragged him back into the room. Obi-Wan watched amused as Palpatine allowed himself to be taken but looked back at Obi-Wan with a friendly boyish grin and a helpless shrug.  The game began and continued until the Theed police were called and the bomb disposal unit kicked in the drawing room door.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

" . . . And I never saw such happy manners." said Obi-Wan.    
He was seated on Jah'nne's bed as she was drying her hair having the last spent two hours washing police riot gas residue out of it. 

"Yes, but on so short an acquaintance, Obi-Wan.  Master Jinn is Master Windu's closest friend.  I'm sure Master Windu would never allow such a Master to teach much less associate with him so trustfully." 

"I can sooner believe that Master Windu is being duped than I can Senator Palpatine spreading such a scandal about himself and his dead Master.  He had such animation and openness of manner.  Besides there seems to be truth in all his words." 

Jah'nne turned and belly-flopped down on her bed as Obi-Wan leaned on his elbows.  She ruffled her Creche-mate's hair.   "I think you like Senator Palpatine."

 Obi-Wan grinned.  "I admit it.  I do like him.  But more, I admire him.  He was on the point of being a Padawan.  He had a Master who thought he was worthy to teach.  Yet he gave these things up without a thought rather than disgrace his Master's name and Temple."

 Jah'nne sat up again, obviously not liking the idea that Master Windu was harboring Grayness.

 "It's distressing.  One doesn't know what to meditate on." 

"I beg your pardon." Obi-Wan was almost sarcastic, "One knows exactly what to meditate on."  

 

The next day Obi-Wan was still of his first opinion and Jah'nne had two lines permanently etched in her forehead.  

Master Yoda was visiting Otoh Gunga and Mistress Fan'iy was visiting and making reparations to Mistress Fhil'eep.   Senator Baskol Yeesrim, his cousin, Senator Mot Not Rab, and Palpatine stopped by the Creche.  Maul and Khi'to insisted that the former two help them play a strange game that included a metal chair, heavy electrical cables and leather restraints.  Maul said the game was called "Feel the Force".  

Obi-Wan went strolling with Palpatine but Orn Free Taa insisted on walking with them.  Both Obi-Wan and Palpatine shared amused glances as Orn told them at length about his humble condo but also about the wonders and joys of Valorum's summer cottage.

"And the security hover cams alone cost in excess of eight thousand Republic credits."

 "The Chancellor is fond of feeling secure is he?" Palpatine asked not keeping the slight teasing inflection out of his voice.  Free Taa didn't notice it and agreed heartily with him.   Just at that moment, Jah'nne came skipping out of the Temple and bounced up to Obi-Wan's little party.  The two initiates smiled at each other and she immediately turned to Orn Free Taa.

 "Senator, how wonderful to find you at last.  I need your help.  My Creche-mate, Fas-Ok desperately requires your assistance.  She needs you to guide her with the twelve step program she is beginning." 

Orn Free Taa looked at Obi-Wan then at a smiling Palpatine.  He was obviously very reluctant to leave so very attractive initiate, so very unchaperoned with so very great a rival senator.

 "I believe it is of great therapeutic importance, sir." Jah'nne was almost on the point of delivering a mind-whammie but fortunately Orn Free Taa squirmed one way and his robes squirmed the other as he finally managed, "Well, then, I'd better help -" 

"This way."  Jah'nne hustled the Senator away to a blissfully ignorant Fas-Ok. Obi-Wan and Palpatine returned to their stroll and gravitated to the further reaches of the Temple garden.

"The Senator's conversation is very . . . er . . . hearty." Palpatine commented with the barest veil of politeness.  Obi-Wan found his own sentiments mirroring those of the senator.

 "Yes, rather like bantha stew in that there is also plenty of that to be had."  They came out from under the thicket and back into the sunshine.  Obi-Wan smiled then felt oddly embarrassed at his unkindness to the Twi'lek senator.  He hurriedly changed the subject to the first thing he could think of.   

"Have you made Master Windu's acquaintance yet?"

 "No, I haven't but all the senators working on the Trade Federation-Naboo project have all received invitations to participate or simply enjoy the display at the NethaTheed Tourney, which has caused great joy in many quarters, so I am already disposed to like him.  He seems most generous."

 "He is."  Obi-Wan felt happy talking about the kind Master. "But he's also has good judgement and discretion and . . .  "  His memories of the previous conversation he had had with Palpatine intruded on present memory.  "He . . . he cannot know what Master Jinn is." 

"Very likely not," Palpatine agreed with him. "Jinn is clever and can please or mind-whammie where he wishes to.  That, as you know, Initiate, is one of many unseen ways of the dark side." 

The two walked in silence a moment then Palpatine went on, "I was amused by Orn Free Taa's reference to Chancellor Valorum.  You know Valorum is the senatorial representative of the Main Jedi Temple on Coruscant.  His recognized daughter, Sei Taria will be bonded to Master Jinn when she reaches the appropriate initiate level." 

"Really?" Obi-Wan was startled by this news then giggled to himself. "Poor Mas Amedda." They walked a little further then it occurred to Obi-Wan that he might get another piece of information. "Tell me.  What sort of initiate is Sabé Naberrie?"  Senator Palpatine sighed regretfully. 

"I wish I could say she is as devoted to her studies and as caring for other beings as you are, Initiate Kenobi.  When she was of a very young age, I devoted hours of my time to helping her learn the basics of becoming an initiate.  But now she has become very like her guardian, very proud and cold.  She is but nineteen, your Creche-mate Maul's age."

 Obi-Wan smiled at Maul's appearance on maturity. "Maul is eighteen," he corrected, admiring one of Mistress Fan'iy's water-bulbs, not noticing the Senator looking at Maul with veiled interest as the youngest initiate took a bite out of Mot Not Rab's ear and swallowed it affectionately.

 

That very afternoon during snackies the much awaited holovid arrived.  The entire Creche was delighted to watch a tiny Master Windu invite them all to a tourney at NethaTheed in two days.  

 "Ooo, a tourney!  I love tourneys," squealed Maul, who had spent most of snackies rolling his Viridian scones into pellets then flicking them out the window at any birds that stopped at the feeders.

 "So do I," insisted Khi'to, who had been slapped twice for licking the jam spoon.

 "Ahh, this will be a compliment to you, Jah'nne, dear," cooed Mistress Fan'iy.  Senator Orn Free Taa continued muttering the therapeutic affirmations with Fas-Ok until Mistress Fan'iy bellowed that the invitation quite obviously included him as well and what the hell did he plan to wear and it better not be that blue thing again. 

"But Senator, will you accept this invitation?" Obi-Wan asked playfully. "Would the Chancellor approve?"  

The senator looked up at him with bemused expression, rolled matters around in his headspace then gazed at Obi-Wan. 

"Indeed your ethics make me proud, Initiate Kenobi.  But I see no taint of the dark side in such a gathering given by a noble Master and attended by devoted initiates.  In fact I did a little studying of such things and would adore the pleasure of partnering all these wonderful initiates.  But I would like to take this opportunity and solicit you as my partner in the first public bout, dear Initiate Kenobi."  

Obi-Wan heartily wished he had kept his mouth shut and just sighed and bowed slightly in acquiescence to the tune of Maul and Khi'to's giggles in the background.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Obi-Wan was fiddling with his crisp new white robe while SA7-24, HI-55's assistant utility droid was trying to make the initiate's hair into as tight a clubbed ponytail as it could go. Mistress Fan'iy pattered through with her headtails still in their steamer wraps. She inspected Obi-Wan and smiled, patting his shoulder. 

"You look handsome, Obi-Wan. You will never be as attractive as Jah'nne or Maul but you do look very well indeed." 

"Thank you, Mistress." Obi-Wan was a little surprised at this attention from the Housekeeper. As he knew well that he was not her favorite initiate. She smacked him gently on the nose. 

"And you make sure you are nice and polite to Senator Orn Free Taa. He has paid you a great deal of attention, young man."

The Housekeeper slippered out of the room, kicking the door shut behind her. She could be heard going down the hall calling for HI-55. Obi-Wan rose and checked to see if there was any creamed spinach in his teeth. Just then his sleeping quarters door was flung open with the Force and Maul barged in naked, as the day he was hatched only he wasn't covered in slime and eggshell this time. He was waving some clothing about.

"Obi. Look at this." he demanded and held the slightly off-white tunic against his bright red skin. This set off the garment's most delicate shading of a design worked into the material. Obi-Wan admired it somewhat jealously. 

"So?" "Khi'to says I look girly in it. But I think it makes me look really butch."

 "I'm surprised you bother to ask me then." Obi-Wan paused wondering when he had become such a jealous bitch. He peered into the mirror as though his reflection might provide the answers. Maul peered at him peering in the mirror then cocked his head. 

"You look very dashing tonight, Obi-Bunnie." 

"Thank you . . . ", Obi-Wan was too startled to comment further. 

"Don't keep Senator Palpatine all to yourself this evening, Obi. Khi'to and I want to spar with him too." 

Obi-Wan grimaced. "Not even if I wanted to. I have to spend the first public bout sparring with Orn Free Taa." 

"Oh Sith! That's right! You pitiful slob! He's threatened to spar with all of us too. Gross!"

Maul stomped out of the room swinging his tunic like a slingshot. Obi-Wan heard a scream of terror then Maul's delighted shout of "Boo!" and pounding footsteps. Obi-Wan knew without going into the hall Maul was chasing a horror-stricken senator around the Temple in the altogether.

HI-55 skillfully guided the family-sized giant landspeeder up to the debarkation area of the Main Palace foyer of NethaTheed. It looked as though every member and hanger-on of every Creche on the Planet had been invited to this tournament. Obi-Wan clutched his hood and Jah'nne's hand as they jumped out and waited for Mistress Fan'iy to lead the way into the Palace.

Master Windu received them cordially and, after speaking a few polite words to their Mistress and managing to ignore Free Taa, Master Windu took Jah'nne's hand in his and Obi-Wan's in his other and led them through to the main floor where the areas were all ready being set up and many initiates were milling about chattering, laughing, warming up or trying desperately to meditate.

Senator Mot Not Rab bowed to Obi-Wan and Master Windu released him to chat to the senator. 

"May I say you look ready for anything this evening, Initiate Kenobi." The senator's grin was most ingratiating. Obi-Wan smiled and glanced about wondering where Palpatine was. 

"I have been asked to deliver a message." Mot Not Rab went on bringing Obi-Wan's attention back to him, "I have been asked to convey my very good friend Senator Palpatine's regrets that he will not be joining us this evening. He had urgent business on Tatooine. Though I doubt it would have been so urgent if he hadn't wished to avoid a certain person." Rab looked pointedly across the room and Obi-Wan followed his gaze which became a glare as he realized he was looking at Master Jinn.

"Rabby!" Both turned at Maul's squeal. Maul, Khi'to and Baskol Yeesrim bounded up to them. Senator Rab had a split second to bow to Obi-Wan before Maul and Khi'to bodily dragged both senators off the juice bar and granola dip. Obi-Wan hoped Maul was not planning a face dive like he had at an earlier party.

 Left alone, Obi-Wan seethed then tried to think of a calming chant. Instead he saw a helpful Gungan face and hurried over to I'Ole for a traditional but now comforting forehead smooch. 

"Ohh, I'O! I have so much to tell you, you won't believe."

There was a rapid, insistent tapping on Obi-Wan's shoulder. He turned to face the grinning Senator. He sighed and tried to smile at his friend.

 "I'Ole, this is our Temple's senator Orn Free Taa. Senator, this is my friend from the Otoh Gunga Creche, Initiate I'Ole." 

"Oh, how wonderful, I am always so happy to meet other initiates from Creche so nearby. Especially friends of my favorite initiate here," leering at Obi-Wan, "Oh there are so many charming and talented initiates, I am all a tangle. Initiate Kenobi, they're calling for the first public bout.

The next fifteen minutes were possibly the worst Obi-Wan had ever had to endure in a training ring. Senator Orn Free Taa may have taken some training but it was not training that in anyway prepared him for a colored stick practice of saber dueling. The senator fell on his butt within ten seconds on starting. His flailing disturbed the other challengers on one side of them and nearly took out a floral arrangement on the other. 

Acutely aware that Master Jinn was following his progress, Obi-Wan did his best to get them through the necessary forms to complete the duel as Free Taa apologized often, quite accidently poked the Education Regent in a way which made her squeal higher than the Music Advisor could ever manage; then broke his training stick over his own foot.

Obi-Wan could not escape fast enough. He was so grateful to see I'Ole waiting for him somewhat off to the side. He clutched her in desperation of safety and ready to burst with the intelligence of what he had discovered about Master Jinn. His words tumbled out as the two put their heads together in frantic whispers. Eventually when Obi-Wan had to stop for a breath, I'Ole peered at him, nictating eyelids blinking rapidly,.

"But are you certain of this?" 

"How could it be otherwise, I'O. He gave me facts and-" 

"Obi-Bunnie!"

Obi-Wan looked at his Gungan friend in surprise at her abrupt tone. She merely bowed to someone beside them. Obi-Wan turned and there was Master Jinn standing before them. Obi-Wan was instantly furious. How dare the Master shield himself so heavily that he and his friend who were having a private conversation would not be able to sense him. He stiffly bowed to the Master but offered no further greeting. 

To his complete shock the Master spoke, "Initiate Kenobi, if you have not been challenged to the Main Formal duel, may I have the honor?"

 Obi-Wan's jaw flapped about for a moment. "I - I wasn't . . . um . . . ." Realizing he had to say something, he colored, bowed and mumbled a polite 'yes, thank you'. 

Master Jinn bowed once more with a slight smile and turned to return to the some other part of the tourney. "Of all the stupid!" Obi-Wan raged quietly. 

"Oh, why the sixty-nine hells couldn't I think of an excuse or just tell him to bog off?" 

"Obi-Wan, Master Jinn is an excellent Master and the Head Trainer at the Temple on Coruscant. Don't be so stupid as to let your preference for a senator who can only make you his aide or consort, blind you to one who can train you fully to a Jedi Knight and possibly to Mastery."

Obi-Wan nodded vaguely and stamped off to take his place in the main ring. He had never sparred in the main ring before as it was usually reserved for demonstrations given by Masters or for training newly chosen Padawans. He was a little surprised by the looks of respect his place was gaining him among the assembled guests. He entered a quick little trance to prepare himself.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Obi-Wan bowed to Master Jinn and they stood back from each other, relaxed into battle-ready stances and ignited their light sabers. The bout began and they sparred for some time without speaking a word. The only sound was the hissing and humming of their sabers.

Obi-Wan began to think that their silence was to last through the two rounds and at first was resolved not to break it; until suddenly, through a thin film of sweat he thought that it would be the greater a punishment to his partner to oblige him to talk and prove to him that although he was a mere initiate, he was capable of sparring, using the Force and make light conversation while he was at it. He made some slight observation on the tourney. Master Jinn replied and was silent again.

After a pause of some minutes he addressed the Master a second time with, "It is your turn to say something, Master Jinn. I talked about the tourney, and you ought to make some kind of a remark on the size of the gymnasium or the number of initiates." 

Obi-Wan was delighted that, although he was sweating like an Iktotchian pig, he was not yet breathless. The Master smiled and assured him that whatever he wished him to say should be said. Master Jinn's eyes were twinkling in a most disconcerting manner which annoyed Obi-Wan into thinking he was being laughed at. He reached into the Force and calmed himself. He stretched out with his senses but felt no maliciousness. 

"Very well." the Initiate stated, "That reply will do for the present. Perhaps by and bye I may observe that private bouts are much pleasanter that public ones. But now we may be silent." 

"Do you talk by rule then when you are sparring?"

 "Sometimes. One must speak a little, you know. It would seem odd to be entirely silent for half an hour together, and yet for the advantage of some, conversation ought to be arranged as that they may have the trouble of saying as little as possible."

 "Are you consulting your own feelings in the present case, or do you imagine that you are gratifying mine?" Master Jinn's eyebrows were almost in his salt and pepper hairline.

 "Both," replied Obi-Wan archly, "for I have always seen a great similarity in the turn of our minds. We are each of an unsocial taciturn disposition unwilling to speak, unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room, and be handed down to posterity with all the eclat of a proverb." 

"This is no very striking resemblance of your own character, I am sure." The Master's voice had lowered slightly but still could not yet be called a growl. "How near it may be to mine, I cannot pretend to say. You think it a faithful portrait undoubtedly"

 "I must not decide on my own performance, I am a mere initiate." 

Master Jinn made no answer and they were again silent until they had completed a double body spin and both landed successfully on their feet, which caused a ripple of applause to go through the arena. Obi-Wan caught his breath turned and faced his opponent. The Master sparred with unbelievable skill and grace. Obi-Wan was trying his best and sent all his frustrations into the Force. The Master chose that particular moment to ask if he and his Creche-mates often walked into Theed. Obi-Wan answered in the affirmative, and, unable to resist the temptation, added,  "When you met us there the other day, we had just been forming a new acquaintance." 

The effect was immediate. A deeper shade of hauteur spread over the Master's face, but he said nothing. And Obi-Wan, though, blaming himself for his own weakness, could not bring himself to go on with the accusations. At length Master Jinn spoke again but he spoke in a constrained manner.

 "Senator Palpatine is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his making friends. Whether he may be equally capable of retaining them, is less certain." 

"He has been so unlucky as to lose your friendship." replied Obi-Wan with emphasis, "and in a manner which he is likely to suffer from all his life." 

Master Jinn made no answer, and seemed desirous of changing the subject. At that moment, the gong sounded and the combatants drew back at the end of the first round.

Obi-Wan bent, leaning his hands upon his knees. The sweat dripped into his eyes and his breath was ragged. He glanced up. Master Jinn knelt in a pool of serenity. Everything about him spoke of calmness. For an instant Obi-Wan wanted to burst into tears, fling himself into the Master's arms and beg his forgiveness for insulting him, for doubting him, for ever wanting to do other than be his devoted Padawan.

Suddenly, green webbed four-fingered hands of Boss Nass landed on both their shoulders. The neighboring Creche teacher was delighted to compliment them. 

"M'zga Jinn, meessa mos grat'fied. Sooperior sparrin' not often seen. Meesa wanna say yoo preddy pardner don' disgraze you. Meesa wanna see such preddy sparrin' repeeded, 'specially when maxi-big event happen, Mmhummm?"  

The large Gungan made eyes at Jah'nne, who was receiving Master Windu's personal instruction on proper hand-holds on the light saber. Both Master Jinn and Obi-Wan saw the couple and Boss Nass grinned and winked at both of them. Obi-Wan choked on his own breath and stammered slightly. Boss Nass chuckled at him, 

"Boom-ba bad congratulations start then, Na? M'zga Jinn, Meesa not bug ya no more, 'specially not when sparrin' wif preddy preddy partner."

Neither of the opponents seemed to hear the last part of the communication. Obi-Wan was furious, he felt naked and betrayed. His thoughts flew to his Creche-mate as she calmly flowed along in her recommenced bout with Master Windu.  Obi-Wan shook free of such thoughts. He couldn't bear to think that he would serve someone as cruel and unfeeling as Master Jinn. The proof had been before his eyes when he had seen and listened to Palpatine. 

The gong intoned once more and his resolve returned to him in a rush of raw power. He stood once more and faced the Jedi Master totally unafraid. Master Jinn opened his eyes and, for a moment regarded him with a questioning look. Their blades sparked and the energy popped about them briefly as each tried to overpower the other. 

Master Jinn with a simple movement too quick for Obi-Wan to catch, wrenched the Initiate's weapon from Obi-Wan's hands. Flinging himself backward. Obi-Wan landed into a handspring and, using the Force, snatched his weapon still lit from where it was lying several lengths away from him. He clenched the weapon and leapt back into the main circle of the center ring.

Master Jinn began to press him right away. Obi's breath was gasping now and tendrils of hair were coming loose and sticking to his face and neck with the sweat that was coursing over his entire body. Angry beyond concentrating much on the bout, he opened his mouth again. 

 "I remember hearing you once say, Master Jinn, your temper might be called resentful. That your resentment once created lasted forever. You are careful about its being created?"

 "I am," was the smooth purr of a reply. 

Obi-Wan nearly dropped his saber dodging an arc so flowing it was like water poured from a cup. He was given a hairsbreadth to recover.

 "And never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice?" he choked on his own breath. 

"Prejudice is of the Dark Side, Initiate." 

Obi-Wan didn't have time to move or scream he was only aware that the green light was going to rend him asunder. Something inside him was calm and ready. He watched in total peace as a single rosy blond love curl that had clung wetly to his throat from behind his ear floated free before his eyes and softly spiraled down into the Master's open hand.  Like the curl, Obi-Wan dropped from his feet. 

The sound of his own body hitting the mat was distant, as was the entire tourney. He felt empty of the Force and it seemed as though the entire universe was nothing more than a void. He wondered for a moment if he had died. He was suddenly sorry he hadn't had a heart-to-heart talk with Master Yoda for quite some time.

"Obi-Wan." 

 Hands slid under his arms. Obi was raised by the strength, and the Force, back onto his feet. His deactivated light saber was placed firmly into his hand. It seemed that he had somehow remained alive. The applause was almost deafening.  Obi-Wan had not realized that their bout had captured the attention and admiration of the entire tourney. He managed to lift his head and found he was staring straight into Master Jinn's midnight blue eyes. 

"May I ask you, Initiate, to what your earlier questions tend?" 

Obi-Wan turned away. He was reluctant to speak. He knew he had only been fishing and subtly trying to embarrass the Jedi Master. He . . . he didn't know what he had been trying to do.  He stared at his feet as he made himself put one in front of the other. Master Jinn's arm was firmly about his waist. 

To anyone else, it looked as though he was being politely escorted back to his Creche trainer. The truth was he was being carried by the Force. He barely had the strength to keep breathing. 

"Merely the illustration of your character, Master Jinn, I am trying to make it out."

 "And what is your success?"  Obi-Wan was stopped and he saw his Mistress' feet in her silver-shelled twinkle shoes.

 "I do not get on at all." Obi-Wan admitted truthfully. "I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly." 

"Initiate Kenobi, I wish that you would not sketch my character at the present moment, the performance would not reflect well on either of us." The deep voice was soft, almost gentle. 

"But if I do not take your likeness now, I may never have another opportunity."  Obi-Wan was torn between laughing and crying. He looked up at the Jedi Master again. The distant, unemotional Master Jinn stood before him once more and coldly replied, "I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours."

The tourney was pronounced a great success and when the bouts were finished and all the initiates were gathered together. Master Windu praised them all and announced that if they would all like to walk through to the Main Hall, he'd had the Naboo Cerean Deli (on the corner of Main and Statue Street, open 12 nights a week) cater a pizza buffet for them all. 

There were shouts and whistles of approval and Boss Nass bellowed out that they should give three cheers which all were delighted to do. Once that was achieved, the melee to get into the hall began. 

 

Obi-Wan tucked his feet beneath him and bit hungrily into big slice of the Alderaanian sausage dripping with melted Naboo algae-jack cheese. He couldn't remember ever being so hungry in all his life. He demolished the entire slice in a couple of bites and made a fish-line back to the loaded food table. 

He figured that since one wasn't going to do it for him he might as stay in hovering distance of the food. He hurried over and helped himself to a slice of Chalactan blue mushroom and veggie. He was still chewing when a cloying annoying voice crooned into his ear.

"So-ooooh, Initiate Kenobi. I hear you are quite delighted with Senator Palpatine." 

Obi-Wan turned and faced a supercilious Mas Amedda. 

"Among his other communications I hear the senator neglected to tell you that he was the son of a business steward. However let me advise you as a friend not to credit to everything he tells you. He treated Master Jinn infamously." 

Obi-Wan swallowed his mouthful and glared at Mas Amedda. "Oh really?" he asked, airily. "In what way?" 

"Don't recall the details." Mas Amedda tried to look wise and thoughtful though it was obvious he hadn't a clue as to what he was talking about. "I pity you, Obi-Wan, to be led astray by such a guilty party" 

Fed up, Obi-Wan took another huge bite and rudely spoke around it. "Guilt? The only thing you've accused him of is being the son of a business steward. Senator Palpatine told me that himself." 

 To underscore his statement Obi-Wan wiped his mouth with his sleeve and took another huge bite with obvious hunger and relish. Mas Amedda looked as though Obi-Wan had taken the bite out of his butt.  

"Pardon. Only trying to help." and stalked off. Obi-Wan wanted to spit but Jah'nne pushed up against him at that moment.

"Obi-Bunnie."

 "I can't help it. He was being a total jerk." 

"Perhaps, but Master Windu told me that it was true that Master Jinn was treated badly by the senator. Though he does not know the particulars of the event." 

"Then he has had his account from Master Jinn," Obi-Wan hissed under his breath. The Creche-mates looked at each other for a moment then hugged. 

"You fought wonderfully, Obi-Bunnie." Jah'nne started, then the pair of them were sickened by the sight of Senator Orn Free Taa tapping Master Jinn on the shoulder and gently informing him that his Padawan-to-be Sei Taria and her excellent father were in wonderful health when he last saw them five days ago. Master Jinn rose from the reading chair he had been seated in and towered over Free Taa. He stared down at the Senator a moment.  

"You are?" the deep voice rolled to reach the two initiates who were each ready to wet their undergarments with rage at their stupid senator. Orn Free Taa bowed low, talking the entire time about his life history but as he rose out of his obsequiousness he discovered he was talking to the air. 

Obi-Wan wanted to crawl under the buffet. Jah'nne merely sighed and put her nose back into her soda cup.  Two minutes later, however, Obi-Wan was nearly having to restrain her from crawling under the table as they both heard, along with the entire NethaTheed party and several other Creche Masters, Mistress Fan'iy telling Mistress Fhil'eep that it was a wonderful thing that Jah'nne would soon be bonded to Master Windu as his Padawan apprentice and who knows what else, if you get my meaning, deary, and that would raise the prestige of the Creche and throw the remaining initiates into the paths of other famous Masters.

At this point some bright soul had suggested music and dancing. Obi-Wan and Jah'nne had front row center seats to witness Flas-Ok posing in a statuesque Quermian polka and perform a turn so sharp, she accidentally kick Jar Jar Binks in the gonads. She turned to repeat the form but Boss Nass hurried over and suggested that she allow some other initiates to pose as she had "delighted enough."  Obi-Wan noted Boss Nass did not specify who exactly she had delighted, if anyone. 

The still screaming Gungan was removed by the medic droids and Senator Orn Free Taa offered to sing "I left my heart on Hoth" if Mas Amedda would be so kind as to accompany him on the sabriquet.  The Chagrian stamped up and played the Tatooine instrument so loudly and so stridently no one would ever know if the Senator actually sang or just lip-synced. 

Obi-Wan decided he really did wish that Master Jinn had slaughtered him as at that moment there was a scream of incoherent rage. Maul came leaping and bounding into the room, he appeared to be throwing pieces of material about as mere seconds later naked Senator Mot Not Rab, clutching a sofa cushion to his privates, rushed in the room after the youngest screaming and swearing at him. 

Maul just laughed and jammed the senator's underpants on his head, crying,  "Oh, fetch me a Dorin Pepsi someone, I'm so fabulous. Never mind, I'll get it myself!" with this announcement to the entire hall, Maul leapt and, with a large splash, landed butt first in the punch bowl.

Obi-Wan longed to be alone somewhere, preferably very near the appendix of the Sando Aqua Monster.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

The next day when Obi-Wan stumbled into the breakfast room, he felt as though life should not go on. The thought of having to face all those other Creches after that infamous tourney was insupportable. He wished that the swamp had swallowed their little Temple last night when they all were safely tucked in their beds. Infinitely more pleasurable than having to face I’Ole soon and make polite conversation and having to ask how Jar Jar was doing. Praying never to meet him while he was in a genital sling or whatever the medics had thought necessary.

Obi-Wan rose from his place, somehow nothing looked good other than a roll and cup of black Iridorian coffee, he was about to crawl off somewhere quiet and pull it in after him. Just then Mistress Fan’iy pattered in hauling Free Taa after her.

“Obi-Wan, dear. The senator has something to say to you. Come with me, Khi’to.” to the young initiate whose mouth was still full of cereal. 

“Mistress.” Obi-Wan’s cry was leaden with his distress. 

Mistress Fan’iy fixed the initiate with a glare.

“Obi-Wan I insist that you stay and listen to the senator.” 

She grabbed Khi’to by his antenna and he grabbed his bowl and both left the room echoing with the door slam.

Obi-Wan sensed what was about to come and wondered if it would stop the process if he were to just throw up now and save time. He sat back down in his chair and plucked listlessly at the incredibly ugly floral arrangement Maul had seen fit to put in Mistress Fan’iy’s sea-crystal bud vase. 

Orn Free Taa cleared his throat and sinuses like a dredger clearing a slough. “My very dear Initiate Kenobi, believe me that your modesty, so far from doing you any disservice, rather adds to your other perfections. You can hardly doubt the purport of my discourse, however your natural delicacy may lead you to dissemble. Almost as soon as I entered this house I singled you out as the consort of my future political life. But before I pass out with by my feelings on this subject perhaps it would be advisable for me to state my reasons for making you both my senate aide and consort.”

The idea of the senator passing out because of his feelings nearly sent Obi-Wan into hysterical giggles which made him unable to take advantage of the pause the senator left open. 

He stared at the vase and slowly drew his hand away from it as he realized it wasn’t an arrangement, Maul had simply used the vase as a convenient receptacle for Mot Not Rab’s underpants.

“My reasons for aiding and consorting are, first, that I think its a good thing for any senate member to have an aide or consort because . . . because every other senate member’s got one. Secondly, I am convinced it’s going to make me happy and third, which maybe I ought to have used as my first reason . . . . It was the advice of Supreme Chancellor Valorum. Senator Taa, you must take an aide or consort he said to me. Choose properly, a sentient being for my sake, and for your own let it be an active, useful sort of being who will be able to think for you but not so clever as to remove you from office. Find such a being as soon as you can and bring it to Rozingz and I will talk to it.  
“Allow me, by the way, to observe, sweet initiate, that your wit and vivacity must be acceptable to the Chancellor, especially when tempered with the silence and respect his money will inevitably excite. Thus for my general reasons, I could not satisfy myself with anything less than choosing one of Master Yoda’s initiates as he, although quite short and green, is a Jedi Master and this prestige I rather like. I know you cannot offer me any monetary inducements but your physical ones shall compensate nicely. And I will not ask for any monetary compensation for your favors to any of my friends or rivals once we have signed the contract.”

It was absolutely necessary to interrupt now.

“You are out of your mind, senator!” cried Obi-Wan. “You seem to have overlooked that fact I haven’t answered you and the answer is . . . NO ! I know you think you are paying me a compliment by your offer but you aren’t. It is categorically impossible for me to even think about accepting your offer.”

“Naughty boy,” crooned the senator and started to come around to Obi-Wan’s side of the table. Obi-Wan got out of his chair and move sideways so that the length of the table remained between them. 

“I have learnt that it is usual with young beings to reject those offers of senatorial power that they secretly covet. I am therefore by no means discouraged and shall hope to lead you to the bonding couch soony-soon-soon.” 

The senator made a smooching noise and Obi-Wan swallowed and kept moving as the senator continued his labored efforts to get within clutching distance of him.

“Upon the Force, Senator!” Obi-Wan tried to remain calm and not use the Force to throw the Senator out the dining room window, for he was, after all, their guest. 

“Your hope is an extraordinary one after my declaration if what I have hitherto said can appear to you in the form of encouragement, I know not how to express my refusal in such a way as may convince you of its being one.”

The senator attempted to dive across the table but only managed to beach himself on it briefly.

“Sexy being! My Senate position and my social connections with the Chancellor are circumstances highly in my favor. Besides, after last night you really can’t seriously think of any Jedi Master ever offering you apprenticeship. I must therefore conclude that you can not be serious in your rejection of me!”

Obi-Wan nimbly slid passed the sideboard and barricaded himself with a chair. The Senator rolled off the table and started to skirt the edges once more. 

“I think you are flirting with me in your own elegant manner and I find this so-o-o-o attractive.” 

Obi-Wan got to the door and wrenched it open just as the senator leapt at him. Obi-Wan fled through the opening and slammed the door which made immediate contact with the Senator’s fully pursed lips. Obi-Wan held the door closed, his eyes frantically searching the outer room for something to hold the door while he got a head start, saying,   
“I do assure you Senator that I have no pretensions to such elegance which consist in tormenting a respectable senate member. I thank you for your offers but to accept them is absolutely impossible. My feelings in every respect forbid it.” 

Obi-Wan mind-whammied a tallbeing storage unit across the floor and shoved it against the door. Through which the Senator’s eager voice called, 

“You are uniformally charming. I love being tormented by you and when sanctioned by your Creche trainers I know we’ll be smooching soon, my little twinkie-pie.”

Obi-Wan fled to his sleeping quarters with only a brief stop at the facilities to relieve himself of his breakfast.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Master Yoda opened one eye and watched his door being wrenched at and finally mind-whammied the lock open. Mistress Fan’iy bounced in somewhat breathless from screaming at him for the last ten minutes to open the damn door.

“Master Yoda, you have to come out immediately. We are all in uproar!”

“Eaten the pepperoni Maul should not have.” The Creche Master coolly informed her, “Colo Claw Fish Oil I recommend. Works good, I understand.”

“Oh, Master Yoda! You must come and make Obi-Wan bond with Senator Taa. Obi-Wan vows he won’t bond with the Senator and the Senator is talking about changing his mind and not bonding with Obi-Wan.”

Master Yoda itched the bottom of his foot with his gimer stick.

“The pleasure I have not, of you understanding. Speaking of what, you are?”

“Of Senator Taa and Obi-Wan,” screamed the Housekeeper impatiently. “Obi-Wan declares he won’t touch the senator with a ten-foot pole and the Senator is staring to think that he doesn’t want to bond with Obi-Wan!”

“And on the occasion, do what I should? A hopeless business, it seems.”

“Speak to Obi-Wan! Tell him that you insist on his bonding with the Senator.”

Master Yoda shrugged and waved his hand at the door. “Him you may call.”

Several minutes passed with the only sound being the frustrated screams of the Housekeeper searching for Yoda’s favorite. Finally there was a dragging noise and Mistress Fan’iy flounced back in, hauling Obi-Wan by his ear with the other four initiates hovering behind her. The Housekeeper slammed the door on their curious faces and pushed Obi-Wan to kneel before his trainer. Master Yoda looked at the initiate who was covered in toast crumbs, coffee grounds, turnips greens, and grass clippings. His fellow Creche-mates having worked together in vain to hide him under the compost heap.

“Here you must come, Obi-Bunnie.” Master Yoda reached out and Obi-Wan crawled forward and stuffed his grimy hands into his Master’s green ones. 

“Understand I do, Senator Taa, an offer of bondage has made you, yes?”

“And of bonding, yes he has, Master.”

“Mhmm. This bondage/bonding offer, refused you have?”

“Yes, Master.”

“Come to the point, we do. Your acceptance of it, insist upon your Mistress does, so this is, Mistress Fan’iy?”

“Yes. Or I will drown him in the back garden fish pond.”

“An unhappy alternative before you is, Obi-Wan. On this day, die you will by hand of one of your Trainers. Your Mistress drown you she will if bond you do not with Senator Taa, and behead you with own lightsaber I will, if bond with him you do.”

Obi-Wan fainted into his Master’s lap in relief to the tune of his Mistress’s incoherent howls of rage and disappointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are a couple of short ones for all of you. You have all been most kind in your comments. Please do let me know if you spot any horrid spelling or grammatical mistakes.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

While the family was in this confusion, I’Ole came to meditate with them as she did every third day. She was met in the vestibule by Maul who flung himself at her, knocked her to the floor, rolled them both off the porch into Mistress Fan’iy’s prize lilies, all the while yelling in her ear, 

“I am glad you are here, for there is such fun! What do you think has happened this morning? Three guessies.” 

At this point I’Ole managed to struggled free and throw the over-enthusiastic initiate into a patch of False Gorse.

“I can’t imagine, Maullie. Tell me.”

“Guessie One: Jah’nne is bonded to Master Windu. Wrong,” Maul began to count off on his fingers. “Guessie Two: I’ve eaten Master Yoda for breakfast. Wrong but still a possibility. Guessie Three: Senator Taa has made Obi-Wan an offer of consort bonding and Obi-Wan refused him. Right! It’s wonderful! The senator has been ranting about his need for rejection therapy all morning.”

Maul snatched I’Ole’s hands and swung the pair of them crazily all over the front path until they both fell over. Khi’to came bouncing out and helped I’Ole up, telling her the same news.

“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised.” I’Ole admitted, pushing Khi’to out of the way and kicking Maul in the balls, “I’ve heard aromatherapy is good for dealing with rejection. Shall I invite him to come to our Temple and breathe with us?”

“Yes, yes, take him away and stuff something up his nose. I’m sick of his snorting all morning.” Khi’to snapped and grabbed Maul by a side horn and hauled him off to the potting shed in search of a pickaxe.

Within ten minutes, Obi-Wan crept out from behind the best parlor’s ambiance scenter, wiping off Toydarian lilac oil and cobwebs. He listened to the senator telling the Housekeeper downstairs, he was going to be properly comforted at the neighboring Creche and far be it from him to resent the behavior of a certain ingrate of an initiate. Resignation to inevitable evils was the duty of all and that resignation is never so perfect as when the blessing denied is obviously incapable in some way of pleasing.

Obi-Wan heard the door slam and the grinding of the Housekeeper’s teeth. He slipped behind the scenter once more and eventually fell asleep.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Morning had dawned beautifully and Obi-Wan breathed easier. The Creche Mistress had eventually calmed down enough to ignore him by yesterday’s dinner. The evening mediation was peaceful and he had asked Master Yoda for a chat-time soon. Breakfast had been delicious and all was well with Naboo.

Obi-Wan decided he was going to walk mindfully to the shores of the Theed main cove. He was opening the Temple gate when Jah’nne joined him. They were just turning to shut the gate when Maul and Khi’to appeared in the distance, running full tilt along the path that stretched between Otoh Gunga Temple diving pier and the Lüng-b’urne Temple.

“Obi-Wan! Jah’nne! Guess what!” Khi’to cried.

“Senator Taa offered to bond with I’Ole and she’s accepted him,” Maul shrieked. Jah’nne fainted full length into the shrubbery as Obi-Wan stood rooted to the spot. 

“Impossible,” he declared flatly.

However, when he arrived at the Otoh Gunga Foyer and was received by I’Ole herself he found he was mistaken. She smiled and said that the Senator and Boss Nass were chatting in the anteroom so would Obi-Wan like some fruit tea.

Obi-Wan supped gratefully and stared at his friend with huge, stricken eyes. The Gungan stretched her eye-stalks at him and nodded resignedly.

“My dear Obi-Bunnie, did you think that just because he was not successful with you that Senator Taa would be unable to secure a consort of any kind?”

“I’Ole, I never . . . I admit I was unimpressed but . . . I’O, if the senator has impressed you and you feel that the Force is guiding you to take this step in your training than I am delighted for you.” 

Obi-Wan placed his empty mug back on the floor next to the cushion he was sitting on. I’Ole took her friend’s hand and stroked it between her four-fingered ones. 

“I see what you’re thinking, Obi-Bunnie. I have never been so attuned to the Force as would be required to train with a Master much less become a knight. I have a little sense of the Force and I’ve always wanted to serve in a way that would be comforting and helpful to my people. Considering the senator’s character, or lack thereof, his connections and situation in the Senate, I am convinced that my chance of helping my people is as close as I can hope for even as a Jedi Knight.”

There was the lugubrious tone of the senator and Boss Nass’s voice in the next bubble and the two friends rose to their feet. Seeing his consort to be, Senator Taa rolled in and caught I’Ole’s slender flexible form to his side.

“Dearest Initiate Kenobi. You see before you the happiest of beings. I truly believe the Force has drawn my sweet I’Ole and myself together. Obi-Wan watched in disgust as the Senator’s flabby hand closed on I’Ole’s cartilaginous shoulder joint rubbing a little downward.

He made his compliments to the happy couple and to Jar Jar Binks and Boss Nass. His walk home was like a walk through an unknown place.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

“Oh Jah’nne it was the most humiliating spectacle. She knows she’s bonding with the biggest, ugliest, most lecherous . . . ugh. It’s disgusting to even think about it.”

“Obi-Wan, you are not allowing for differences in situation and temper. True, Senator Taa is not the . . . er . . . cleverest of beings but he is not venomous and considering his connections, it is a good and, in many cases, eligible match. As she said herself, being a senate aide, she will have the ability to see to the comforts and needs of her people.”

Obi-Wan stomped about the day-room a few moments more then bumped down on the settee next to Jah’nne and dropped his head on her shoulder.

“At least you will never have to bond with someone simply because your command of the Force doesn’t rate you for a Padawan.”

“While yours might?” Jah’nne teased and tickled Obi-Wan making the younger man scream like a girl and slide off the couch gracelessly. HI-55 tapped the door chime and came in, cocking her head at Obi-Wan still parked on his butt on the floor, giggling. The shiny pale blue droid stepped over the initiate and handed Jah’nne memo-player.

“This just downloaded from NethaTheed, ma’am,” with a subtle inflection that denoted the feelings of the Creche Mistress. Jah’nne thanked HI-55 politely and the droid tapped out. Obi-Wan clambered back onto the settee as his Creche-mate held the memoplayer to her ear listening hopefully for Master Windu’s dulcette tones. Obi-Wan flopped backward and stared up at the ceiling. 

The image of I’O and Taa rose in his mind and he nearly gagged. He couldn’t believe what his dearest friend had got herself into. He was about to comment when he noticed that Jah’nne was looking dejected.

“What?” he asked. Jah’nne waved memoplayer without animation.

“It’s from Mas Amedda. He records that the entire party will have left NethaTheed by this time for Coruscant. The business that Master Windu had thought might be conducted via transmitter must in truth be transacted in person. Mas Amedda says little more except that he is happy to return to the capitol but professes to miss me already. He also says that they will be meeting with Master Jinn’s ward, Sabé Naberrie with who Master Windu is fond of and greatly interested in her progress as an initiate. Oh, Obi-Bunnie isn’t it obvious!”

“What? That Mas Amedda doesn’t like Naboo or us?”

“No. That Master Windu was not that impressed with me and means to form a training bond with Sabé and Mas Amedda is gently warning me against becoming too attached to Master Windu and psychically blocking any other potential Masters out. Can there be any other explanation?”

Obi-Wan sat up and clasped his Creche-mate close. “Yes, there is. I think that Mas Amedda wants Master Windu to bond with Naberrie and that way he will feel closer to having influence over both of them and influence with the Jedi High Council. Oh, Jah’nne, anyone who has seen you and Master Windu together can tell that a bond will form between you. The way the Force flows between you anyone with even the vaguest attunement can feel it.”

Jah’nne sniffed and wiped her face on her sleeve. “I suppose so . . . ” She moaned depressed.

“Then you suppose right.” Obi-Wan squeezed her. “Search your feelings, Jah’nne. If Master Windu is not back at NethaTheed in two standard weeks and dining at our Creche I will be very surprised.”

Jah’nne smiled and hugged him.

 

Later that afternoon, Obi-Wan allowed himself to be dragged into Theed by Khi’to and Maul. They window-shopped and gossiped about various acquaintances.

“Sith! I can’t believe I’O is consort-bonding, and with a senator like Free Taa!” snapped Maul, “Even I think he’s disgusting!”

“He’ll probably read to her from “Four Lice make Surmises” every night.” Khi’to commented.

“Yeah.” agreed Maul, “right before bed. Bet she makes him blindfold her and tie her down, too.” 

The two younger giggled and they strolled into the clothing district.

“Speaking of disgusting,” Maul observed a large window full of the latest fashions. “What a gross tunic. It looks like a rancor threw up on it.”

“We can send it to Free Taa as a wedding gift.” Khi’to suggested and the two sniggered once more. 

Obi-Wan was only half listening he was too busy torn between reflecting with a mixture of pity and disgust on the chosen fate of his friend and worrying about his Creche-mate’s initiate and romantic problem. 

Jah’nne had never dropped any hints nor had the Housekeeper made any overtly lewd suggestions, Obi-Wan was certain that Jah’nne was not only the right person to bond with Master Windu but he sensed that she was also deeply in love with him. He had suspected that Master Windu cared for Jah’nne. His revery was interrupted by Maul grabbing his hair and yanking him round to look across the Square. Senators Baskol Yeesrim, Mot Not Rab and Palpatine were strolling down the Government Building steps.

“Yeesrim!” Maul screamed at the top of his lungs as Obi kicked himself free. The three waved and crossed the street to the three initiates.

“I suppose you’ll keep Palpatine all to yourself again,” grumbled Maul.

“Of course he will, Obi’s in Love!” Khi’to tittered.

“For fuck sake, lower your voice,” Obi-Wan hissed.

“Hello, What a pleasant surprise.” Mot Not Rab greeted them. “We were just about to set out to the Temple in search of you.

“Hot Damn!!” replied Maul. “We came into town looking for you . . . or trouble which ever came first.” 

There was laughter all round. Maul wrapped his arm around Senator Yeesrim’s and swung onto his back for a tusken-piggy ride. Rab offered a hand to Khi’to, who shoved it down his pants. Obi-Wan swallowed a little gasp as a silk enclosed arm slipped beneath his outer robe and rested gently about his waist. Senator Palpatine smiled warmly down at him.

“Do you mind if I escort you back to the Temple?”

“I’d like that. If you have time, I would like to introduce you to my Trainer and Mistress.”

“Delighted.” Palpatine’s arm tightened almost imperceptibly about him. 

Obi-Wan was suddenly delighting in the beauty of the landscape about him, when Palpatine said, 

“I was very sorry to miss your performance at the NethaTheed Tourney. I heard that you sparred with grace and wonderfully executed the forms. But, as Rabby no doubt informed you that senatorial business . . . ” 

Palpatine trailed off looking down into Obi-Wan eyes. 

“No . . . ” he smiled, shaking his head, with another self-deprecating smile, “with you I must be entirely open. I decided that it would be wrong for me to confront Master Jinn at the tourney. Others than myself would have been affected.”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan agreeed. “Though I would not mind seeing Master Jinn put in his place, to do it when he is the guest of Master Windu and in Master Windu’s home. I would not like to see him embarrassed or grieved.”

“Thereby embarrassing and grieving your Creche-mate,” Palpatine replied. Obi-Wan was confused for a moment and gazed at the senator’s cool blue eyes which suddenly seemed quite cold and blank. Then he remembered that the Senator had at one time been ready to train as a Jedi so of course his Force-senses would be stronger that Obi-Wan’s and he would be able to pick up thoughts if Obi-Wan was not careful to shield his most private. Palpatine suddenly smiled at him again and Obi-Wan felt the sunshine warm on his cheek.

“I hear your very own Senator has entered into a consort bonding.”

“Yes.” Obi-Wan affirmed, “with my dear friend I’Ole from the Otoh Gunga Creche.”

“I had thought his interests lay nearer than that.” Palpatine fished, eyes dancing with amusement.

“Perhaps they did, but they were shooed elsewhere.”

“Thankfully.”

Replete with fruit tea, viridian scones, whoopie cookies and mushroom jam, the senators waved goodbye to the members of the Lüng-b’urne Creche, ducking the pieces of uneaten fairy cakes that Maul was playfully using to pelt them with.

“Such a nice, conscientious senator, Palpatine is,” commented the Housekeeper, “and so handsome with his traditional Naboo overcuffs.”

“Very kind of him it was entertain us with stories of his hardships. With such tales to hand watch the holovid soaps who would?”

“I believe he has truly been ill-treated by Master Jinn, Master,” Obi-Wan started. 

“Perhaps so, but find you may, Obi-my-Obi. Used to certain standards and ways of the Force, Master Jinn may be.”

Maul giggled, climbed onto the side-board and rapidly ate all visible paper napkins. Khi’to snatched the doileys out of his reach, which angered Maul and in retailiation he shoved the teapot into Khi’to’s trousers. HI-55 removed it, handed a sobbing Khi’to a cold pack and poked two steel fingers into Maul’s left ear up to the third knuckle, which dazed the youngest and he remained calm for the next half hour. 

Mistress Fan’iy ignoring the racket behind her, continued her commentary. “

Yes, I remember when I was fond of overcuffs. And I still am. In both my hearts.” 

The younger Initiates giggled and Master Yoda blinked at his Housekeeper and sucked interestedly on his gimer stick. Mistress Fan’iy, still vaguely pissed off over the loss of the Senator, fixed Obi-Wan with the pin of her right eye slit and snapped, 

“And you needn’t laugh, Obi-Bunnie. Even if Senator Palpatine has taken a fancy to you: the impoverished creature. If he represented four or even five hundred planets; I would be happy to see him consort bonded to any of our initiates. But nothing ever turns out how it should and there’s Master Windu leaving forever.”

“What?” Obi-Wan demanded.

“It’s true.” Jah’nne raised her head, eyes swimming with unshed tears. “I’ve heard again from Mas Amedda. They will not be coming back to Naboo.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Both Obi-Wan and Jah’nne heard the whirring of the shuttle and rushed out to the gate to open both sides wide. The shuttle glided in and shimmered to a landing. Obi-Wan was practically hopping up and down as the doors opened.

“Hello! Hello!” 

Both initiates rushed forward to greet their Master’s great, grand-niece and her bondmate. Both were on the High Council of Jedi on Coruscant but did come to spend the astroid viewing time on Naboo with those they called family.

Obi-Wan flung himself on his knees to embrace ‘Aunt’ Yaddle and rose to stand on tiptoe to kiss ‘Uncle’ Yarael Poof, who was a red-eyed Quermian. Mistress Fan’iy rushed out embracing and talking almost faster than the shuttle had arrrived.

“Oh, how late you are! We were certain that you had been hijaked by pirates or that your transport had disintergrated. Oh my head tails are spasmed to nothing.” 

The rest of the Creche came bounding out. Maul immediately tried to snatch the box his uncle was holding but his arms were nowhere near the length of the Quermain’s, who was used to Maul.

“Little Maul, I see you have not changed,” the snowy white-skinned Uncle commented in his thin reedy voice.

“I’ve grown!” Maul cried.

“In all but sense, true.” Master Yoda commented.  
“See!” Maul was delighted to be vindicated by the Temple Master and grinned affectionately at his tiny aunt. Aunt raised an eyebrow then she and her great grand uncle greeted each other with the ancient Dagobari toe wag and knee cap thump.

“Come in, Come in.” Mistress Fan’iy was close to fits as she herded her guests into the main foyer all the while screaming for HI-55 and telling them that the entire household was invited to Otoh Gunga for the evening for a full moons party and what had they brought in the way of high fashion from the Capitol?

 

Obi-Wan was delighted. It was a wonderfully quiet party. He was also quite delighted with himself. Earlier he had organized Jah’nne or rather he had told the entire sorry story of Master Windu to his aunt and the pair of them decided that some time and change of scene would be good for Jah’nne. All was arranged that she would be visiting Coruscant with them when they left Naboo to return to the capitol. 

bi-Wan was wearing a new tunic, cream with a design of fishes embroidered in a paler cream thread with gold filiament through it. He had chosen the tighter fashion for his trousers and his boots shone like glass from polishing. Jah’nne had greased his sandly blond curls until they shone red-gold and hung in thick lazy ringlets down his back. He had also downed three Chalactan whiskeys and was feeling pretty buzzy and more than just pretty.

Not too many Creches had been invited and the most popular of the senators were there. Obi-Wan overheard his Mistress lamenting that Master Windu had not bonded to Jah’nne as she had hoped. 

Obi-Wan after catching up with Palpatine, decided that now was a good time. He brought the senator over to Yaddle.

“Auntie, may I present Senator Palpatine. Senator, this is Master Yoda’s great grand niece Yaddle, she is kind enough to allow all of us call her ‘Auntie’.”

Senator Palpatine bowed deeply, “I am honored to meet you, madame.” 

“I hear you are from Coruscant?” Yaddle gazed at the youngish man mildly. “Are you familiar with the Boonta district where the Temple is?”

“That is not five miles from where I grew up, Madame.”

“Oh, you are from Mos Espa.” Yaddle brightened. 

Palpatine smiled and bowed, then asked her, “And are you acquainted with the late Master Trainer at the Temple?” The senator smiled again.

“I am not.” Yaddle was so serenly Obi-Wan often wondered if he would have to wait until he was nearly 500 years old before he could maintain that kind of composure. He was sensing something a little odd about this moment but could not put his finger on it. He was also vaguely thinking that Boonta and Mos Espa were in fact on Tatooine rather than Curoscant. He shrugged. It must be the alcohol fizzing his brain. He smiled broadly and listened as Palpatine told Yaddle about his father.

“My father was the Temple steward. The late Master was a great man.”

“Yes.” Auntie smiled at Obi-Wan and cocked her youthful auburn topknot. “Maul and Khi’to are playing with the instruments. I think you will be preforming a Naboo traditional shanty dance soon.”

True to form Maul and Khi’to bounded across the room and pounced on Flas-Ok, demanding music to dance to instead of the Ewok tone poem she had been tapping out on the keyboard. There was a brief scuffle in which Flas-Ok was bitten, Khi’to screamed high-A and Maul had to spend a few minutes hunting for some of his teeth inside the red ball jet organ. However, with I’Ole’s younger siblette, Reppi’s help, the red ball jet organ was soon repaired and Flas-Ok sat and began to play some rather rollicksome tunes.

Obi-Wan blushed, for as he had hoped, Palpatine took his hand and they joined Maul, Khi’to, Yeesrim and Rab in the main bubble for a lovely round of shanty dances. Obi-Wan briefly caught his Master, Aunt and Uncle all looking at him worriedly but he was too happy to give it more than a brief thought before he was smiling at the handsome senator once more.

Later, as Palpatine had been dragged into a four-square polka with Maul, Yeesrim and a new initiate named M’reee Kahing, a small creamed-colored Wookie from Kashyyyk, Obi-Wan took a moment to watch the dance figures and talk quietly with I’Ole. I’Ole seemed oddly restive. 

“When do you sign the contract and leave Naboo for Aldaraan?”Obi-Wan asked watching Palpatine toss him a grin and perform a flourishing foothold with M’reee.

“In a few days. We will travel to Aldaraan directly. I . . . I shall depend on hearing from you very often, Obi-Bunnie.”

“Of course.”

“I am not likely to leave Aldarann for some time. Boss Nass and Reppi are to visit us in three standard months. Please promise you will be one of their party.”

Obi-Wan actually cottoned on to the slight intonation of desparation in his friend’s gentle voice. He looked at her and saw the eye membranes were blinking far more rapidly than usual, indicating her distress. He smooched his friend,

“I will come, but only if you promise that I will see at least one of the famous security cams at Rozingz Club,” mimicking the Senator’s nasal twang. 

“I’d like to see you try and avoid it.” I’Ole actually giggled. 

Obi-Wan didn’t see any reason why Master Yoda would forbid the visit. They stood happy once more with their arms about each other. Minutes later Reppi bounced over.

“Did you ask?” Her eyestalks almost fully extended and her haillus quivered with a mixture of nerves and excitement.

“Yes, Obi-Wan will be coming with you,” I’Ole confirmed.

“Good!” cried Reppi. “I shan’t be half so afraid of the Chancellor with Obi-Wan there.” and flung her arms around the young man, squeezing tight just as Aunt Yaddle padded up.

“Aldaraan enters its growing season in three months. It will be beautiful for you, Obi-Bunnie,” she nodded. Reppi leaned into the young initiate then cocked her head.

“Who’s that Wookie Senator Palpatine is dancing with? She’s not very graceful, is she?”

“She is M’reee Kahin,” I’Ole said. I’Ole always knew everyone. “She has just come to Naboo on an initate exchange and she is to be bonded as Padawan learner to Master Even Piell and, it is said, she has a midi-chlorin count of ten thousand.”

“Now that is being really graceful,”commented Yaddle making her young charges giggle.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Obi-Wan waited impatiently to receive a holovid from Jah’nne. It was resting season on Naboo and the fish had retreated into deeper waters. The flowers had closed and most of the trees had retracted their leaves or turned them a charming shade of blue and dropped them. 

Maul and Khi’to stamped around the Temple in fits of rage as Senator Palpatine had suddenly developed business among the Wookie people. Maul had spent a great deal of the season in bed with severe rashes and other weird ailments. He had been experimenting with the notion that if he could affect his body chemistry and raise his midi-chlorian level to ten thousand then lots of Masters would be falling at his feet for his attentions. 

Khi’to had spent lots of time meditating with strange plants and wore an almost permanent expression of vagueness. 

Flas-Ok had deepened her studies but still didn’t seen to be reaching any further clarification as to what the Force was in essence and how did it exist.

Mistress Fan’iy visited, gossiped and had spasms of the head tails. HI-55 was a calming presence and Master Yoda and Obi-Wan appreciated the droid.

Fortunately Obi-Wan was alone when the Holovid was downloaded and he scuttled up to the attic and, wrapping himself in an old Jedi cloak he’d found up there once, he curled in a window and popped the message.

Jah’nne looked her usual self, if a little sad.

“Dearest Obi-Bunnie,” she began. “First let me tell you that all is well here on Coruscant. We continue quiet and happy at this suburb of Che’psiddhe. But this is not, of course, what you want to hear. Aunt Yaddle had business in and around the Senate three weeks ago and she took me with her. I took that time to see if Mas Amedda was available, I was so looking forward to seeing my friend again. He was with Nute Gunray. Nute seemed unusually quiet and Mas, though he said how delighted he was to see me, looked a little darker blue than normal. They both chided me for not telling them I was coming to the Capitol. I thought it rather odd that both holovids should have malfunctioned. I did not stay long as both of them due on the Senate floor shortly. They gave me every assurance that they would visit me at the suburb.

Knowing that the Senate recesses only allow outer visiting in the mornings I waited at the house for Mas every morning for two standard weeks. Finally he arrived. I have never seen such rude, inappropriate manners. Mas left me in no doubt of the contempt in which he holds me. Ha assured me that Master Windu knows that I am here in the Capitol and has, even at Mas’s suggestion, refused to have anything to do with me. I can only assume that Master Windu was being polite and encouraging to a back-water initiate. I can only know that now he no longer wishes to bond with me as my Master.”

Obi-Wan sighed in disappointment. At least his favorite Creche-mate now could see Mas Amedda for what he truly was. Obi-Wan couldnt help but be a little annoyed with Master Windu, but then that Master was friendly to Master Jinn so perhaps this outcome was not so surprising after all. The only real regret he had was that Jah’nne had been affected and thus hurt and disappointed by the result.

“Boo!” snapped a familiar voice without effort. Obi-Wan erased the holovid and turned to see what Maul wanted. The youngest initiate was padding up the attic stair clad in a cold, wet sheet and his entire body layered in drying cold cream. He looked exactly like a verruca with horns. He shuffled over and bumped down beside Obi-Wan on the window seat.

From Jah’nne?’

“Yes.”

“Windu didn’t want her?”

Obi-Wan didn’t answer. There was nothing further to say on the subject.

“Pal’tine downloaded anything to you?”

“ No . . . .”

“You should have slept with him.”

Obi-Wan considered this statement, then was puzzled. Why should he sleep with someone he didn’t know very well? He certainly admired Palpatine and enjoyed his company. He had found that once the Senator was gone from his home sphere he seriously wondered what it was that had attracted him to the man. He just shrugged. 

“I see no need for a physical bond. He could not have trained me to a level accepted by any Temple or Jedi Master. I would only ever be an aide or consort. I don’t wish to do that.”

Maul wrapped his dripping sheet about himself. “Fine. I’ll have him.” He turned and grinned at Obi-Wan. 

“You wait.” he crooned, “I’ll get him and he and I will have all the fun you’re missing out on.”

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. 

“What makes you think I’m missing anything?” 

Obi-Wan started. Maul moved closer, the wet sheet pressing against Obi-Wan. He nearly gagged on the putrid smell of Maul’s rash. He shoved Maul out of the way. Before he knew what he was doing he had drawn a bead on Maul’s grinning face. 

Maul laughed, “See how easy it is?”

Obi-Wan paused and looked down at his own hands as though he had never seen them before. He dropped them to his side and turned to Maul.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” The red-skinned sadist was honestly confused for a moment.

“For reminding me what I am here to learn.” Silently, Obi-Wan bowed slightly and went down the stairs. 

Maul watched him then picked up the holovid player. He tried to play it but Obi-Wan had erased the message. He growled darkly and swallowed it. 


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

A standard week later Yeesrim, Rab and Palpatine called at the Temple again. Maul and Khi’to dragged the two former senators out to play Pacithhipian croquette and were soon hitting each other with the mallets. The Senators seemed to be practicing an advanced form of duck-and-cover. Obi-Wan and Palpatine strolled the garden’s main path.

“I heard you were going to Aldaraan and I felt I must see you before you left. You will be seeing the Supreme Chancellor I think.”

“I’m going to Aldaraan, thus it can hardly be avoided.” Obi-Wan replied lightly, “I understand that the Chancellor is rather . . . er . . . attentive to the needs of those who share his planet.”

They enjoyed a companionable chuckle together. Then after glancing sidelong at the senator, Obi-Wan commented, “I understand I should congratulate you on your upcoming consort-bonding.”

Palpatine opened his mouth then closed it. He had the grace at least to blush.

“How you must hate me,” he murmured, gently. Obi-Wan let that comment pass, thinking it odd that a Jedi would hate. Hate was of the Dark Side. 

He laughed and smiled. “I understand that, unlike my younger Creche mates, handsome impoverished senators of backwater worlds require prestige to aide them in their careers just as much as the plain and rich ones do.”

Palpatine swallowed and for an instant looked as though he was at a loss for words. They changed the subject and happily discussed other friends and fellow acquaintences fully to their mutual pleasure.

 

The following morning Obi-Wan went through to Master Yoda’s mediatation room and knelt to receive the Master’s blessing. 

“Again joy-riding,” muttered the Master and peered at him. 

Obi-Wan smiled and then grimaced. “I do want to see I’Ole, though.”

“Eh, absurdities you love. Looking forward aren’t you to seeing the Chancellor and the Senator. Savor such amusments?

“In such cases, Master, a little goes long way.”

“Miss you I shall my Obi-Bunnie. Without you or Jah’nne in the Temple, two words of sense together hear, I shall not.”

Obi-Wan looked at his Master moment then buried his face in the Dagobari’s lap. “I’ll miss you too, my Master. When I return maybe we can talk?”

“Here for you, I always am,” the green eyes promised him.

Tears suddenly blinded Obi-wan for a moment although he did not know why. Master Yoda saw them and leaned forward gently and softly kissed the initiate on his curls.

“Worry not, my Obi-Bunnie. Happy ending you will have. Take a while it will, but happy ending you will have.”

Fortified with these words and a hearty breakfast, Obi-Wan bowed low to his Temple Mistress as she continued to give him advice on exactly how he ought to behave for the rest of his life even although he was only scheduled to stay three weeks with the senator and I’Ole. 

Flas-Ok read him a thankfully brief passage of Jedi wisdom. 

Khi’to said “bye” in an angry tone, being jealous that Obi-Wan was getting to go to some other planet and he wasn’t. 

Maul, who had been confined to bed for swallowing all the detergent in the Temple, must have gathered his strength as he leaned over the stairs from the upper level to call a farewell but, instead, was sick.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Obi-Wan smiled at Boss Nass and Reppi who were seated across from him. They had been traveling for quite some time and were now in a small local air taxi, which was taking them to Hunsferd, the housing estate and high-rise condominiums that were adjacent to Rozingz. 

Boss Nass was admiring all the real estate and any lakes that came into his view. Reppi was so excited her haillu were visibly trembling.

The taxi stopped before a small condo that was off to the side and had its own little gravel garden filled with ornamental miniature plants and several figurines of small humanoids with pointy hats and long beards performing strange acts. 

They clambered out and the luggage was set on the dolly droid. Senator Orn Free Ta and I’Ole came out to greet their guests. Free Taa was all over Boss Nass and Reppi. Obi-Wan smiled at I’Ole who returned his smile and they forehead smooched affectionately.

“Welcome Obi-Bunnie,”I’Ole said.

“I’m so happy to see you, I’O.”

The Senator had to show them every single article of furniture there was and after admiring all of it Obi-Wan was escorted to his bed chamber where the senator was happy to show him the wonderful new piece of advice the Chancellor had given them. Obi-Wan looked and, feeling pressed, he forced himself to observe,

“Pit droids under the bed . . . Happy thought, indeed.”

“Yes,” agreed the senator, “the Chancellor was given a shipload of pit droids from Tatooine and he suggested that we have them and, since pit droid collapse for storage, he suggested that we store them just as you see here. The Chancellor is very good at advising us, is he not my dear?” The senator simpered. I’Ole glanced at Obi-Wan.

“Oh yes, my dear, he is a most . . . a . . . attentive neighbor.”

The Senator rushed Reppi and Boss Nass outside to explain the ornaments. Obi changed from his traveling clothes and followed his friend through to a back study area. Looking out the window they could see the others walking about and the senator gesticulating wildly.  
“The Senator works in the garden himself,” I’Ole said idly. “It was designed by the Chancellor and Orn feels he has to keep it exactly like the original and polishes the ornaments himself. I encourage him to work out there often. It’s a good exercise in tradition.”

I‘Ole watched the group outside a few moments longer. “He also has to walk over to Rozingz nearly everyday.”

“Everyday? Isn’t that a little extreme?”

“Perhaps, but I encourage him to do it anyway.”

Obi-Wan watched the senator, realized what was going on and commented, “Walking in the park is also good exercise.”

“Yes,” I’Ole agreed. “And when he is in the house, he is in his holovid den which affords him a perfect view of the road in case anyone, like the Chancellor, goes by and . . . .”

“And you like to work on projects in this study,” Obi-Wan finished gently.

I’Ole nodded. “Yes. A whole day can go by with us only spending a few minutes in each other’s company. I enjoy the responsibility and I have got a good deal of work straightened out here. I find I don’t mind the solitude as the work is important and I feel I truly am helping people this way.”

I’Ole smiled at Obi-Wan. “I find myself content with my choice, Obi-Bunnie.”

Obi-Wan was left to ponder if he would ever really consider making the sacrifice of self that I’Ole had made.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

“Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan!”

Obi-Wan opened his eyes from his trance and slowly collected his thoughts. Reppi burst into his bedroom, 

“Obi-Wan! Come down stairs quick! There is such a sight to see! Come quick!!”

There was the pounding of feet as Reppi disappeared back down. Curious now, Obi-Wan followed her and went through to the lounge where the young Gungan was peeking out the window, wrapped in the sun curtain jumping up and down in excitement.

Obi-Wan looked out at the little air car that was hovering at the condo gate and was unimpressed.

“Force, Reppi. The way you were going on I thought that there were banthas rampaging through the garden. It’s only the Supreme Chancellor and his daughter.”

“That’s not the Supreme Chancellor, that’s Agrippa Aldrete and with him is the Chancellor’s daughter Sei Taria. She is quite an unusual creature. Who would have thought she could be so thin and . . . and . . . .”

“She is abominably rude to keep I’O standing beside the air car’s exhaust port.” 

Obi-Wan cocked his head then giggled, “I like her apperance. She looks bored and foul-tempered . . . Yes, she will make him a fine Padawan!”

 

Obi-Wan had truly enjoyed the walk through the deserted golf course to the so-called small club cottage. It was, in fact, a sprawling estate with a beautifully laid out garden and flowers and orchards. The mansion itself looked as though it had been built by constipated jawas, who drank battery acid for kicks. 

Obi-Wan remembered taking a walk along a deserted beach near the Naboo ocean and finding the rotting, washed-up remains of a Opee Sea Killer. Compared to the house those remains seemed to be fashioned on more aesthetic values.

Senator Orn Free Taa was all but in love with the house. He ranted about the architecture, the landscaping, the choice of floral surrounds, which were accented by the particular shade of the droids, which tended them. Obi-Wan found that the more the senator rattled off the statistics of wonderfulness, the more bored he was by it all. 

He shrugged inwardly and tugged the cuff of his tunic into place hoping the food would make up for what he already considered to be tedious conversation.

“Please do not concern yourself, Initiate Kenobi about your apparel. The Supreme Chancellor is far from requiring that elegance of dress in us, which becomes himself and his daughter. The Chancellor will not think the worse of you for being simply dressed. He likes to have the distinction of rank preserved.”

“Thank you, Senator. I am now quite at ease.” 

Obi-Wan was not disappointed in his opinion that the senator was a worshipper of the Chancellor who was a man who held his own importance in absolute certainty. He inquired into I’Ole’s affairs minutely and advised her on her work, her personal life and her opinions. The Senator ardently agreed with everything that came out of the Chancellor’s mouth.

Sei Taria was clinically insane to Obi-Wan’s way of looking at things. The young woman was almost completely unhinged from reality. She would stare at the ceiling while having detailed conversations with the standard lamp near her. Agrippa was constantly trying to see if anyone was home in that single body with the very heavily populated head. Compared to Sei Taria, Maul was a calm, balanced, well-mannered, polite young being.

Obi-Wan brought his attention back to the Chancellor as Valorum observed to I’Ole, 

“Your friend, Consort Taa, seems a genteel, pretty sort of boy. His Creche is to be handled by Senator Taa on the death of the Master. I’m pleased. I’m sure it will give Orn Free something useful to do when he retires. Tell me, Initiate Obi-Wan, have you Creche-mates?”

“Yes, sir. I am the second of five.”

“How nice. Five is a nice number. I am fond of it. Are any of your younger Creche-mates announced for bonding?’

“Yes, Your Excellency, all of them.”

The Chancellor turned in his chair and stared at Obi-Wan as though the young man had suggested the Chancellor give him head.

“What all of them? All five? The younger announced before the older are bonded as Padawans to Masters? Your Creche-mates must be a very young!”

Yes, Your Excellency, my youngest Creche-mate is not yet nineteen.”

The Chancellor snorted. 

Obi-Wan shrugged and continued, “Perhaps he is a little young to be announced but really, Your Excellency, I think it is unfair on younger initiates that they should not have their share of society, tourneys and public sparring simply because their older Creche-mates have not the midi-chlorians or the mediative skills to bond with a Master. Don’t you agree Boss Nass?” 

Obi-Wan turned to the elder Gungan but he was to be of little or no assistance being sound asleep.

“My Office, you give your opinions very decidedly for one so young and unbonded. What is your age in standard years?”

“With three younger Creche-mates announced, Your Excellency cannot expect me to produce an ID simply for the asking.”

Senator Taa’s jaw wobbled about for a few moments. Reppi’s eyes got real big and I’Ole tried not to laugh when Obi-Wan caught her eye and smiled ever so slightly.

“Initiate Obi-Wan, you cannot be more than twenty so there is no need for you to conceal your age.”

Obi-Wan smiled sweetly, “I am not one and twenty, Your Excellency,” in dulcet and docile tones.

Humph.” was the Chancellor’s comment on the entire affair before he changed the subject completely. “Consort Taa, did I tell you of the Pope calling on me yesterday? He thinks of Sister Metcalf is a treasure. Supreme One, he said to me, you have given me a treasure. Yes . . . ”

The Chancellor turned and glared at Obi-Wan again for good measure. “Yes . . . .”


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order   
> must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Obi-Wan stretched and looked about himself. The orchards and groves about Rozingz were truly beautiful.

“You know, I’O, I cannot find any fault with your love of this area. It is so lovely here.”

Obi-Wan’s friend smiled and clasped his hand in hers. She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Reppi bouncing up. She was gathering small field mice, which seemed to be remarkably tame.

“Obi, I’O. We have been here two standard weeks and dined with the Supreme Chancellor six times. I would never have dreamed we would go so many times.”

“No . . . ” Obi-Wan had the feeling that since the Senate was in recess right now all the other senators, aides, consorts and hanger-ons had gone home, thus the company in the area was rather thin and, to the Chancellor, trite company was better than no company at all. 

Boss Nass, having satisfied himself that his favorite Initiate was well settled with her work and that her Senator had provided all that he had promised and more, had excused himself and gone back to Naboo after four standard days. He had little use for the Supreme Chancellor and was eager to be home in Otoh Gunga. Jar Jar Binks was not the sort of caretaker who could be trusted alone for long. Reppi and Obi-Wan had stayed on at the request of I’Ole and neither initiate were displeased by the arrangement.

There was a shriek and the sound of flapping feet.

“Consort! Reppi! Initiate Obi-Wan! ” Senator Taa jiggled into view, waving one of his shoes, screaming at the top of his lungs. “You must come home at once. Chancellor Valorum’s Temple  
Master from Coruscant, Master Qui-Gon Jinn, has arrived at Rozingz, and with him is a member of the High Council of Jedi, Master Saesee Tiin. They have handed us the greatest honor and are coming to visit us.” 

“When will they be arriving, Senator?” I’O was the voice of serenity.

“Now!” shrieked Taa. “They are following me! Quick! Run! Run!!”

Reppi, galvanized by the Senator’s words, rushed back along the garden path while Obi-Wan and I’Ole looked at each other.

“This honor must be due to you, Obi-Bunnie,” I’Ole commented. “Master Jinn would never have rushed over here just to see me.

Obi-Wan had no reply beyond the raising his eyebrows.

Settled in the condo, the little house party had ten standard minutes to pee, arrange their clothes and check to see if there was anything stuck in their teeth before the main door chime went off.

Obi-Wan was curious to see this other Master and was quite prepared for a clone of Jinn’s countenance and manners. As it turned out, Master Tiin was neither. A tall, loose-limbed Iktotchi pilot, he was not handsome by his own people’s standards but he was amiable and remarkably talkative. He immediately sat with Obi-Wan.

“I am delighted to make your acquaintance, Initiate. Both Jinn and I are starved for some decent fun. No one around here spars. There is no time set aside for meditation. There is no deep conversation.”

Obi-Wan was a little amused at the Master’s openly playful lament. “The Chancellor is not deep enough for you, Master?” 

Master Tinn chuckled and chucked him under the chin. 

“You know perfectly well what I mean, rascal. The Chancellor talks a great deal but it is not the sort of talk that ever requires an answer . . . Or for that matter, require one to be present for it.” 

Obi-Wan laughed delightedly. He turned to settle more comfortably in his chair when he noticed that Master Jinn, seated across the room, was staring at him while pointedly ignoring Free Taa who was talking earnestly at the Temple Master and occasionally touching his leg. Master Jinn’s gaze was solidly upon Obi-Wan in a way that the Initiate could almost feel it caress his skin. Slightly unnerved, he turned back to his companion,

“Master Tiin, would you please tell me why Master Jinn stares at me so?”

Before Tiin could reply, Master Jinn rose from his seat and crossed to stand before Obi-Wan. The Initiate looked up at the tall, muscular Jedi Master with the burning blue eyes.

“Initiate Kenobi, I trust the members of your Creche are all well?”

“Yes, sir. They are very well. Thank you.” 

Master Jinn regarded him silently after this answer. 

Still vaguely agitated, Obi-Wan suddenly blurted out, “My eldest Creche-mate Jah’nne is on Coruscant for this season. Did you happen to see her at all?”

Obi-Wan was perfectly sensible that he never had, but he wished to see whether he would betray any consciousness of what had passed between Master Windu, his friends and Jah’nne; he thought the Master looked a little confused as he answered that he had never been so fortunate as to meet Initiate Jah’nne. The Master turned and inspected the view for a nearby window.

“As you see, I’m not Master Jinn’s favorite person,” Obi-Wan giggled nervously to Master Tiin, who widened his golden, serpentine eyes amused. 

“I am surprised to hear that.”

“Don’t be. I always believe in first Force-given impressions and his good opinion once lost is lost forever.” Obi-Wan raised his gaze and saw Master Jinn regarding him with a quizzical gleam.

“So you see,” Obi-Wan smilingly told Master Tiin with a charming shrug, “it is a hopeless case.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, my dearies!  
> Yes I did leave all of you hanging and here's the lame-ass reason why: I wrote this story over ten years ago! I was talking to my trusty beta-reader, Li, the other day about this and we realized it was that long ago. She did assure me she is still in possession of the Maul action figure I dressed as Lydia, too. She promised to hunt it up and if you lovely readers like I will post a picture of it as the finale.  
> However, re-reading and doing occasional edits, I realized that a plot device I had liberally employed was, to say the very least, extraordinarily silly. I talked to her about removing it. After a long discussion and thought and taking her advice, I shall post this in the originally with the silly plot device taking over the story and Obi-Bunnie's brain completely.
> 
> Prepare yourselves for the infamous SEVEN ANCIENT JEDI MYSTERIES OF TESTING POTENTIAL PADAWANS!!!!!!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings.  
>  Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex)   
> Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun.  Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

All in all this was a pleasant time for Obi-Wan. He had beautiful surroundings to meditate in and no one to disturb his contemplations. He often went out alone, armed with only his datapad journal, which during the latter six standard months he had been lax in keeping. Master Yoda suggested that all initiates keep a journal as they could mark their progress in it over the years.   
From the very beginning Obi-Wan had been diligent about keeping his journal and he found he was drawn to it once more. He found time to contemplate the Great Jedi Mysteries that awaited him. It also gave him a space for considering Master Jinn’s behavior toward him. He was quite certain that Master Jinn had no intention of asking him to bond as his Padawan learner. Master Jinn had not preformed any of the All in all this was a pleasent time for Obi-Wan. He had beautiful surroundings to meditate in and no one to disturb his contemplations. He often went out alone armed with only his datapad journal, which during the latter six standard months he had been lax in keeping. Master Yoda suggested that all initiates keep a journal as they could mark their progress in it over the years.   
From the very beginning Obi-Wan had been diligent about keeping his journal and he found he was drawn to it once more. He found time to contemplate the great Jedi Mysteries that awaited him. It also gave him a space for considering Master Jinn’s behavior toward him. He was quite certain that Master Jinn had no intention of asking him to bond as his Padawan learner. Master Jinn had not preformed any of the Seven Ancient Jedi Mysteries Of Testing Potential Padawans.   
He had not offered to give Obi-Wan the traditional Padawan Bath, the Moonlit Cloaking Meditation, the Knight’s Kiss, Double Sky Levitation Lesson, the M’zgage Meditation of the Master, the Pressed Meditation or even the simple Leading the Padawan on the Jedi Path Hand-Hold.   
Obi-Wan had studied these Mysteries ever since he had discussed them with Jah’nne long ago in the attic of the Temple. Jah’nne had been the one who had told him about them as a great secret she had discovered from another much older initiate who had been bonded long ago, when Obi-Wan and Jah’nne were mere children. Jah’nne had whispered the Mysteries to him as they were the Unspoken Mysteries, handed down by Oral Tradition. Obi-Wan, to help his meditation, had carefully listened to all that Jah’nne had told him and written these Mysterious in his journal with the greatest care. He and Jah’nne spent most of their early teenage years in long, whispered discussions concerning these Mysteries.   
Now, in the peaceful atmosphere that surrounded this secluded area of Alderaan, he was able to read back and consider the Mysteries once more. From the behavior of both Jinn and Windu he became certain that neither Master had intentions of asking either initiate to bond. Obi-Wan was certain that Jah‘nne would have told him if Master Windu had asked her to participate in any of the Mysteries. As much as it saddened him, Obi-Wan was forced to conclude that perhaps Master Windu was not the Master for Jah’nne.  
During these idyllic days which followed lazily upon each other, Obi-Wan also found time to wander the course and surrounding woods. He was secretly pleased that the Chancellor did not go out of his way to tame the landscape about his summer residence.   
He was unsecretly puzzled at the behavior of Master Jinn. He often met the Jedi Master when walking, especially during the solitary stroll, which wound along the river then through a shady grove full of wild flowers, edible blue fungi and tiny sour zukki berries. He was stunned that once when meditating there the Master had arrived and sat with him a few moments then realizing, the initiate was too distracted to remain in the trance state, the Master had proceeded to discuss certain image techniques briefly with him before leaving.  
With such Force-empowered companionship, Obi-Wan was amused to note that it was quite some time before the Condo party were once again summoned to make numbers at the Rozingz Party. Obi-Wan enjoyed the excellent food and was blatantly curious to see how Master Jinn treated his Padawan-to-be. Sei’s only reaction was to stuff her index finger up her left nostril and slowly lick the end table. Agrippa applauded this move, saying it showed that she was reacting to the prime material plane.   
Obi-Wan privately thought there were better things to lick if one was inclined that way. Master Jinn displayed no noticeable interest in this wonderful potential before him although the Chancellor constantly reminded him that his Little Sei was deeply intelligent, though unchanneled in the ways of the Force.  
Fed up with listening to both the Chancellor ranting and Sei Taria’s demands for toasted shrubberies, Obi-Wan turned his attention to Master Tiin. He must have had quite the pleading look on his face as Master Tiin winked at him and, bowing politely to the company, led Obi-Wan to a clear area and asked him if he would like to practice his levitation skills.   
Obi-Wan was a little confused as the Master had taken his hand and drawn him to the area. Was this one of the ancient mysteries? Obi-Wan calmed himself in the Force and stood ready to be tested. Contrary to his expectations, Obi-Wan was soon delighted. He immediately found that Master Tiin was patient and a careful spotter as well as very helpful with suggestions and ideas for improving the Initiate’s control. It had been quite some time since Obi-Wan had enjoyed an evening so much.   
His balance was easing perfectly when he landed without a sound. He turned and saw that Master Jinn had joined them. Jinn was watching him closely.  
Feeling supported by Tiin and his usual playful nature asserting itself, Obi-Wan addressed Master Jinn. “Do you mean to try to find fear in me, Master Jinn, by coming in all this state to watch me? I will not be alarmed. My courage always rises with every attempt to intimidate me!”  
To his surprise, Jinn folded his arms into the sleeves of his robe and smiled.  
“Initiate Kenobi, I have had the pleasure of your acquaintance long enough to know, that you find great enjoyment in occasionally professing opinions which are, in fact, not your own.”  
Obi-Wan turned and looked at the Jedi Master. This amiable, half-amused state was not the Master Jinn he had grown to know and loathe. He reached into the Force and rose exactly three standard inches off the floor, regarding Master Tiin as he did so.  
“Your friend will teach you not to believe a word I say, Master Tiin. That is ungenerous and rather un-Jedi-like of him, don’t you think? Impolitic too, for it is provoking me to relate some things that may shock your fellow Jedi Masters to hear.”  
Master Jinn continued to smile almost complacently. “I am not afraid or you, Initiate, or anything that might pop out of your mouth.”  
Master Tiin laughed and put in, “Pray let me hear what you have to accuse him of, Initiate. I should like to know how he behaves in the company of unbonded initiates.”  
“The first time I ever saw Master Jinn was at a tourney. And what do you think he did? He only sparred four times. Four times. And Masters and Knights were scarce and, to my certain knowledge, more than one young initiate had to sit out for want of a challenger.”  
Master Jinn watched Obi-Wan lift himself a few inches higher then rotate a half turn.  
“Perhaps I should have done more, but I am ill qualified to recommend myself to strange trainers.”  
Obi-Wan completed the turn and looked at Master Tiin.   
“Shall we ask him? Shall we ask Master Jinn how a being who has trained to Mastery in the Ways of Jedi and serves the Order as the Main Temple Master Trainer can be ill qualified to recommend himself to strange trainers?”  
Jinn smiled again at Obi-Wan, his eyes were still gentle. “I do not possess that talent of conversing easily when it is not a matter of diplomatic business.”  
Obi-Wan considered this, then considered his position three inches in the air. He carefully pulled up his legs and attempted to sit cross-legged on nothing. He flubbed it but Tiin caught him and put him gently on the floor. Obi-Wan looked up at Master Jinn from his lowly seat.  
“I do not float was well as many initiates of my acquaintance but I have always considered that to be my own fault as I would not take the time to practice.”  
Masters Tiin and Jinn smiled at each other. Tiin lifted Obi-Wan to his feet and Master Jinn moved closer, handing the young man his white initiate cape, saying,   
“You are perfectly right, Initiate. You have employed your time much better. No one admitted to the privilege of watching you spar can think anything wanting. We neither of us perform to strangers.”  
There was something in the Jedi Master’s eyes that confused the sixty-nine hells out of Obi-Wan for a moment but it vanished with the noise of the Chancellor.  
“What are you saying to each other over there. What are you talking of? I must have my share in the conversation especially as there is an unbonded initiate among you. I will not have him trying to find out Jedi secrets when he does not have a proper Master. It’s unhealthy and rather naughty. What are you saying in front of that bad boy?”  
Obi-Wan sighed as he turned to look in the Chancellor’s direction. The two Masters who had their backs to the Chancellor blocked his view. To his complete surprise, Obi-Wan saw the two glance at each other, and Master Jinn actually rolled his eyes a little before turning and addressing the Chancellor.  
“There are no secrets, Your Excellency, we were merely instructing Initiate Kenobi in levitation.”  
“Levitation!” cried the Chancellor. “Then speak aloud for it is of all the Jedi Arts my delight. There are few people in the Republic, I suppose, who have more true enjoyment in watching the Jedi Art of Levitation than myself or better taste in performance. And if I had the midi-chlorians and learnt I should have been a great proficient. And so would Sei Taria, if her mental condition had ever allowed her to apply. I am confident that she would have performed delightfully.”  
Obi-Wan idly wondered if she could levitate, how much of the ceiling Sei would have licked by now. Yet in a strange way it was comforting to know that there was some one else in the universe that had worse table manners than Maul.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings.  
>  Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex)  
>  Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Obi-Wan was seated alone in the Condo one morning composing a holovid to Jah’nne. The senator was at the mercy of the Chancellor and I’Ole and Reppi had travelled to the City to shop. Obi-Wan adjusted his thinking a moment before continuing.   
“Master Jinn doesn’t seem all that impressed with Sei Taria, in fact I don’t think he notices her at all. But the Chancellor is determined that the pair of them shall be bonded and he is not to be gainsaid it seems.”  
The door chimed and Obi-Wan quickly hit “pause’ and tucked the recorder out of sight. He hadn’t heard an air-car but it might be the Chancellor. He re-hid the recorder to stop any impertinent questions. He had a moment to straighten his tunic and re-bind his curls before the house droid opened the door, and to his complete surprise, in walked Master Jinn.  
He seemed a trifle surprised to find that Obi-Wan was alone in the condo and apologized for his intrusion, by letting the Initiate know that he had understood that both Gungans were home.  
Obi-Wan invited the Master to sit, declaring that he had merely been recording a message to his Creche-mate. He inquired after the party at Rozingz and was favored with a monosyllabic reply. Feeling the danger of the visit falling completely into silence, he quickly asked after the health and well being of Master Windu. Receiving a similar reply Obi-Wan was forced to comment that Master Windu had left NethaTheed quite suddenly and he had heard rumors to the effect that the Jedi Master had little if any intention of returning.   
“I have never heard him say so,” Master Jinn replied, “but it is probable that he may spend very little of his time there in future. He has many duties as a Member of the High Council and he is at a time of life when duties and missions are increasing.”  
“If he means to be but little at NethaTheed, it would be better for the planet that he should give up the place entirely”  
“I should not be surprised,” said Master Jinn, “if he were to give it up as soon an any eligible Creche-trainers send him any offers.”  
Obi-Wan made no answer. He was leery of talking on this subject further as he didn’t want Master Jinn and thus Master Windu to realize how involved Jah’nne had become. Master Jinn seemed to take the hint and, after glancing about the den-come-receiving area began with,   
“This seems a comfortable, modern type of condo. Chancellor Valorum, I understand, did a great deal to it when Senator Taa first came to the area.”  
“I believe he did,” replied Obi-Wan with a smile, “and I am sure the Chancellor could not have bestowed his kindness on a more grateful object.”  
To Obi-Wan’s surprise, the Jedi Master smiled.   
“Senator Taa seems very fortunate in his choice of consort.”  
“Yes,” Obi-Wan agreed. Much of his disappointment in I’Ole had faded but he still was at a loss to understand how she could bear it. “She seems perfectly happy, however, and in a prudential light, it is certainly a very good match for her.”  
“It must be very agreeable to her to settled within so easy a distance of her old Creche and family members.”  
“An easy distance?” Obi-Wan stared at the Jedi Master in surprise. “It is nearly fifty trillion standard miles!”  
Again the Master smiled at him almost warmly. “And what is fifty trillion miles in the Republic’s main travel and trading routes? On a modern hyper driven ship, it is little more than a half a standard day’s journey. Yes, I call it an easy distance.”  
Obi-Wan recalled that he was talking to a Jedi Master who had probably had many, many missions, which had no doubt carried him to the furthest pockets of the outer rim and even perhaps beyond. A part of the Initiate yearned to bounce across the room into the Master’s inviting lap and demand stories of adventures and lessons in the Force. Oh, if only he was a mere child once more and such behavior would be expected from him. Instead he had to remain seated, converse politely and never learn anything of interest or use. Flummoxed by his position, Obi-Wan found himself babbling,  
“Near and far are relative terms . . . er . . . I think it might be possible to be bonded to a Master whose duties are centered too near . . . that is . . . er . . . It might be . . . er . . . bad to bond with a local Creche Master or knight as . . . ”  
“You would not wish to be bonded to a Master who had duties that kept him so near Naboo, I think . . . I think you would wish him to be one of those who took long-distance and varied missions. You would want him to . . . her . . . or them.”   
The Jedi Master for some strange reason suddenly lost his train of thought. Obi-Wan opened his mouth in the vain hope that something sensible or at least vaguely interesting would come out, but the Master abruptly rose, apologized for interrupting him and, with a bow that was lower than a mere initiate deserved and a look that made Obi-Wan’s tummy twist, departed in a swirl of soft brown robe.  
Obi-Wan was left standing in the middle of the den feeling very confused indeed.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order   
> must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings.   
> Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various   
> Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Obi-Wan was becoming more and more fond of his time of Alderaan. He found that he was perfectly happy. He loved being out of doors and the season was as beautiful as Aunt Yaddle had promised it would be. 

The only real oddities were that he was encountering Master Jinn a great deal and not only that but the Master was asking him some rather odd questions. What he liked about Alderaan, his love of solitary walks and gentleness to small creatures who occasionally crossed his path. 

Master Yoda had always taught his initiates to gently use mind-whammies to shoo small beings out of their paths so the beings would be neither feel pressed to defend themselves or be frightened out of several weeks growth. 

Master Jinn also asked him his opinion of the Senator and Consort’s happiness. And that in speaking of Rozingz and the initiate’s imperfect understanding of that estate, the Master seemed to expect that whenever he came to Alderaan again he would be staying there, too. Master Jinn’s words seemed to imply it. 

Obi-Wan wondered if he had Master Tiin in his thoughts. He supposed, if he meant anything he must mean an allusion to what might arise in that quarter. It distressed Obi-Wan a little and he was glad when the condo rose into view once more. 

In fact things were so beautiful that Obi-Wan was at the point of almost forgiving Senator Taa for being such a complete idiot. But there were some things that simply could not be borne and more often than not Obi-Wan took off to the woods to meditate or read in solitude, as he couldn’t bear the thought of trying to do either while Senator Taa was breathing and sweating in the same room. 

One particular day, he crossed the open green to the woodland below and popped open the holoprojector. He had loaded it with the messages Jah’nne had sent him during the course of his visit. Perusing them again, pausing and reviewing parts he decided that Jah’nne was truly out of spirits. This troubled him as Jah’nne was a gentle soul and he didn’t like the idea of her being so depressed. Master Yoda had assured his Creche members that being crossed in love was good for everyone once in a while but Obi-Wan thought Jah’nne was taking things to the extreme. He happened to glance up and there was Master Tiin walking towards him.

“I greet you in peace, Initiate Kenobi.”

“Greetings, O Master Tiin,” Obi-Wan managed as he stuffed the holoprojector into the nether regions of his trousers and hoped for the best. 

“I didn’t know you ever walked this way, Master.”

“I have been making a tour of the Park,” he replied, “as I generally do every visit and intended to close it with a visit to the condo. Are you going much further, Initiate?”

“No, sir, I should have turned in a moment.” And accordingly he did turn as they walked toward the condo together.

“I heard that you were leaving Alderaan in two standard days, Master?”

“Yes,” replied Master Tiin, with a grin, “if Jinn doesn’t put it off again. But I promised to be at his disposal this vacation time, so he is arranging things just as he pleases. Unless the High Council calls me back, then I must truly leave him to his own designs.”

“The High Council of Jedi?” Obi-Wan asked. “Then you are acquainted with Master Mace Windu?”

“Indeed I am. He is a great friend of Qui-Gon Jinn’s you know, they grew up together as Initiates. Many say they were lovers when they were but Padawans. Whatever truth there may or may not be in that rumor I will leave to your own fancies, Initiate.” The Master pinched Obi-Wan flushed cheek.

“Master Jinn seems a very good friend to Master Windu,” Obi-Wan couldn’t stop himself from commenting drily after his long study of Jah’nne disappointment. “Master Jinn seems uncommonly kind to Master Windu and takes a prodigious deal of care of him”

“Care of him?” Tiin cocked his heavily horned head to one side and his golden eyes narrowed slightly. “Yes, I really believe Jinn does take care of him in some ways. Especially in one; as I understand that Jinn congratulates himself on having lately saved Mace from a most imprudent Padawan bonding”

“Did Master Jinn give you his reasons for this interference?” Obi-Wan did his upmost to remain calm and to shield his thoughts from Master Tiin.

“I understood that there were some very strong objections against the young lady initiate.”

“And why was Master Jinn to be the judge?” Obi-Wan was almost shaking with the effort of trying to remain serene.

Master Tiin turned to look at him. “You seem disturbed by this knowledge, Initiate. You are disposed to call his interference officious?”

“I would not say such a thing about a Jedi Master . . . But . . . but . . . but I do not see what right Master Jinn had to direct and determine in what manner his friend was to be happy. But,” Obi-Wan collected himself, “as we know none of the particulars, it is not fair to condemn Master Jinn. It is not to be supposed that there was much affection or stirrings of the Force in the case.”

Tiin snorted good-naturedly. “That would certainly lessen the honor of Jinn’s triumph very sadly if so.”

Obi-Wan felt so miserable by these words he was barely able to cling to his shields at all. The effort drained him physically and he felt shaky and wanted very much to sit down and cry.

“Initiate Kenobi?” Master Tiin’s gentle hand was on his shoulder. “Are you unwell? I sense a great disturbance in your emotions.”

“I’m fine.” Obi-Wan avoided the Master’s eyes. “I’m fine. I . . . I . . . I’ve got a headache, I think . . . I guess I should have worn my hood while walking in this strong sunlight.”

Master Tiin regarded him for a moment. Obi-Wan could feel the Master’s eyes upon him as he stared miserably at his feet. His hood was raised and pulled forward so it shielded his face. Master Tiin’s large hands slid about his shoulders and knees. 

Obi-Wan bowed his head hiding his tears in his hood as Master Tiin carried him easily back to the condo 


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  
>  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings.   
> Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various   
> Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Obi-Wan had a real and proper pounding headache by the time he came back downstairs from his nap. Master Tiin had brought him home when everyone else was out and gently borne him upstairs, fed him Heddak-B’Gone powders and placed him under his coverlet. 

Obi-Wan had slept for nearly three standard hours before he heard I’Ole calling for him to get ready to walk to Rozingz. 

Obi-Wan trailed down the stairs and begged to stay home as he felt awful. I’Ole told him he looked like bantha poodoo and he really ought to go back to bed. The Senator was somewhat nervous about what the Chancellor might say but I’Ole told him they were late. The Senator flew out the door with the most remarkable speed. I’Ole winked at Obi-Wan and she and Reppi where obliged to sprint after the fleeing Senator.

Obi-Wan curled himself on the den sofa and felt very sorry for himself and Jah’nne. He was so bummed that all his suspicions about Jinn were true. He had hoped that Jinn was merely a snot but to find that he was a conniving, interfering snot spoilt everything. He hated thinking that two fine Masters like Tiin and Windu were so easily led by Jinn. Jinn must be a Gray or maybe even a Sith to behave in such un-Jedi-like ways. Obi-Wan fumed quietly, and then he heard the door chime. He jumped up and tried to rearrange his tunic and trousers so that he at least looked vaguely presentable. He half wondered for a moment if it was Master Tiin returning to inquire after his health. But this idea was soon banished and his spirits were very differently affected, when, to his utter amazement he saw Master Jinn walk into the room. 

In a hurried manner, the Master immediately began an inquiry after his health, imputing his visit was of a wish of hearing that Obi-Wan was better. Obi-Wan answered the Master with cold civility. Master Jinn sat down a few moments, and then getting up walked about the room. Obi-Wan was surprised but said not a word. 

After a silence of several minutes Master Jinn came toward Obi-Wan in an agitated manner and thus began.

“I can remain silent no longer. You must listen when I tell you how impressed I am with your midi-chlorian levels and your Force-enhanced abilities. You realize that I wish to have you as my Padawan apprentice.”

Obi-Wan did not know what to say, what to feel or where to look. Master Jinn seemed to take this as an encouragement and proceeded to explain what he normally looked for in an apprentice and that he was perfectly aware that Obi-wan was ill-trained and lacking in many areas of true knowledge of the Force. 

Obi-Wan felt the keenness of what he said but felt that the offer of training was being made with arrogance and, reaching out into the Force, he felt that he sensed that Master Jinn fully expected his ardent thanks and continuing gratitude and humility. Master Jinn, he felt, would never respect him as an apprentice under these circumstances and should he remain with this Master he would be looked down upon by all who encountered him. 

If he truly wished to train in the Force and become a knight, Obi-Wan knew he needed a Master who would care and respect him as Master Yoda did his own initiates. Obi-Wan waited patiently with downcast eyes as Master Jinn finished his outline of how studies were carried out at the Temple of Coruscant and what he expected of his Padawan both as an assistant and a pupil. He spoke of bonding in the Force but Obi sensed his condescension for him flowing in the Force.   
This only decided Obi-Wan fully and when Master Jinn stopped and held out his hand for Obi-Wan’s acceptance, Obi-Wan rose to his feet and faced the Master.

“In ceremonies such as these I believe the Initiate is to express obligation and thanks for such an honor, however undeserved it might be. It would be natural to feel gratitude at being so singled out and if I could feel it, I’m certain it would flow through the Force. However, I cannot feel it. I have never desired to be taught by you and you have obviously had uneasy thoughts many times about teaching me. I am sorry to have given a false sense of wishing to bond into the Force but it was done unconsciously, and I hope will fade quickly. The ideals which you prefer in an apprentice which made you resist requesting a bond with me will no doubt re-assert themselves and you will find an initiate whom you can enjoy teaching.”

Master Jinn stared at him in silence. Then slowly withdrew his rejected hand and folded his arms into his deep sleeves. Obi-Wan stared at the floor. The silence that hung between himself and the Jedi Master almost hissed through the Force.

“And this is all the reply which I have the honor of receiving!” Master Jinn’s voice was cutting. Obi-Wan wanted to cry but he stood firm and cast all negative emotions to the Force and felt the serenity pool deep within him. Jinn went on.

“I am curious to know why, with so little respect and veneration of the Jedi Ways, my offer of training is rejected?”

“I,” Obi-wan flashed, “might as well inquire why, with so obvious contempt for my training, you told me that you wished to have me as your apprentice. That you felt that the Force was not with you when you choose me as your Padawan and that my grasp of the Living Force was poor. Wasn’t this an excuse for disrespect, if I was disrespectful? I have other problems associated with becoming your apprentice. Had my own senses not warned me against forming a bond with you, then your treatment and subsequent ruination of my Creche-mate’s chances of becoming a Padawan cinched the matter for me.”

Master Jinn raised an eyebrow but did not offer any other reaction as Obi-Wan went on.

“I have every sense of the Force that you would not be a good Master for me, nor even that you are a great Jedi. You cannot deny without lying in the Force which leads to the Dark Side that you were not the principle, if not the only thing, that divided my Creche-mate and Master Windu. Now my Creche-mate is the laughing stock of our city and planet and crushing all her hopes of being a Padawan and living the honorable life of a Jedi. Removing her from the closest she has ever been to serving the Force by working for peace and goodness in the Galaxy and the universe. Can you deny that you have cause this?”

Master Jinn shrugged. “I cannot, in the Force, deny it. I was a good deal better to Master Windu in saving him from dealing with backwater worlds than I am serving the Force by offering to bond with you. I did everything I could in the Force, to convince Windu that he should not form a training bond with your Creche-mate and I still feel that the Force is served by doing this. It is the Force which causes me to offer to teach you, it was not in anyway a personal decision.”

Obi-Wan took a couple of cleansing breaths then. “But it is not merely this affair on which my dislike is founded. Long before it had taken place, my opinion of you was decided when I heard of your dealings with Senator Palpatine. On this subject how can you defend yourself?”

“You take an eager interest in that senator’s concerns,” said Master Jinn in a less than tranquil tone.

“Who that knows what his misfortunes have been, can help feeling an interest in him?” snapped Obi-Wan, remembering the poor but brave senator. 

“His misfortunes, “ sneered Jinn. “Yes, his misfortunes have been just so bloody enormous, haven’t they?"

“And of your infliction!” cried Obi-Wan. “You have reduced him to his present state of politics. You have done all this and yet you can treat him with contempt and ridicule.”

“And this,” rumbled Master Jinn as he prowled near Obi-Wan, “is you opinion of me? My faults according to this calculation are heavy indeed. But perhaps . . . ” 

Obi-Wan was forced to sit back in his chair as the Jedi Master leaned close, directly over him, his voice a mere growl, “but perhaps these offenses might have been overlooked, had not your pride been hurt by my honest confession of the scruples that had long prevented my forming any serious design. If I had concealed my struggles and flattered you. But disguise of every sort is my abhorrence. Nor am I ashamed of the feelings I related. They were natural and just. Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your training? To congratulate myself on the hope of bonding one from a Creche whose standards of teaching the ways of the Force are so decidedly beneath my own?”

Obi-Wan felt anger rush at him but he cast it to the Force and made himself speak with a measure of composure. 

“You are mistaken, Master Jinn, if you suppose that the mode of your offer of training affected me or manipulated my decision in any way other than sparing me the disappointment which I might have felt in refusing you had you not behaved in such a Sith-like manner.”

Master Jinn backed away from him. The Master’s surprise was apparent, but he said nothing so Obi-Wan continued. “You could not have made me the offer of training in any way possible that would have honored me to accept it.” 

Master Jinn began to frown, his hands vanished into the sleeves of his robe and once more his face was the inscrutable mask of old. Obi-Wan was on a roll and refused to be stopped by a scary looking Jedi Master. 

“From the first testing bout, sir, I have been convinced of your nearness to the Dark Side and disregard for any Master who did not train on Coruscant. I had not meditated upon even thinking about training with you before I was convinced that you would be the last Jedi Master in the entirety of Force creation with whom I could ever form any sort of a bond.”

"You have said quite enough, Initiate.” Master Jinn’s voice was back to its original coldness. “I can sense your feelings perfectly and now am questioning the wisdom of my own. Please forgive me for interrupting your meditations with my presence and please accept my best wishes for your continuing studies and future development as a Jedi.”

Master Jinn’s robe was the only sound the Master made on his departure. Obi-Wan vaguely heard the front door whoosh closed. 

Poor Obi-Wan wept profusely for about half a standard hour, such was the tumult of his mind and soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merciful Force! Poor Obi-bunny! Such agonies!  
> Don't worry, my precious readers, things are going to get decidedly worse!!!


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various  
>  Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

The following morning Obi-Wan all but dragged himself downstairs. He felt just as shitty as he had when he had crawled crying back into bed yesterday. He rather wondered at his ability to cry as much as he had done over the last few hours. He idly pondered that he ought to at least have something to drink or he would shrivel up and blow away. The desire to put anything in his stomach vanished as he entered the dining room and was blessed with the sight of Orn Free Taa stuffing his big blue face with pan-fried taun-taun. I’Ole poured out some juice and turned to greet her friend.

“Obi-Wan, you look like crap. Have something to eat. Or at least have some fruit tea.”

Obi-Wan considered the idea of having to listen to the Senator eat and that decided him.

“No thanks, I’O. I’ll be fine. I think I’ve stayed indoors too long. I’m just going to take a run around the park.” Obi-Wan rushed out and back up to his room to don a light top, some shorts and proper footwear.

Pleased with his idea, he set off running apace. He felt better with the physical exertion and nearly three standard miles later he bounced lightly into his favorite meditation spot. Gasping, he headed to the stream intending to throw himself down and stick his entire sweaty head in, to be shortly followed by his entire extremely sweaty body. As he was about to fling himself down when a movement caught his eye and he realized he was not alone. 

Standing near the stream was Master Jinn. Obi-Wan started backing away in a hopeless hope that he could get away without being noticed. There was no such luck to be had as the Jedi Master turned and looked him up and down quickly. Obi-Wan bowed stiffly and tried to stop panting so heavily or at least to stop sweating so much. Master Jinn did not seemed to notice either activity. He came forward and handed Obi-Wan something, saying quietly, 

“I have been walking in this glade for some time in the hope of meeting you, Initiate. Would you please do me the honor of viewing this?”

He walked away, leaving Obi-Wan with a loaded holoprojector in his wet hand. After a few silent moments staring stupidly after the retreating back of the Jedi Master, Obi-Wan sat down on the ground with a bump and dumped the holoprojector on the grass before him. After a few more moments of catching breath and wondering what the sixty-nine hells to do now, Obi-Wan finally gave into his curiosity and tapped the projector on. A hand-sized image of Master Jinn appeared. He was formally attired in his Jedi robes but his hood was lowered. His voice was as gentle as a summer breeze though his words bit like a Krayt dragon.

“Be not alarmed, Initiate, on receiving this message, by the apprehension of its containing any repetition of those sentiments or renewal of those offers which were last night so sith-like to you. But I must be allowed to defend myself against the charges laid upon me by you.

“With respect to the latter and weightier accusation of having wounded Senator Palpatine, I can only refute this by laying before you the whole of his connection with my Temple and, if I may call them so, my family.

“Senator Palpatine is the son of a very respectable being, who for many years was the senate aide for the area of the High Council Temple. This senate aide was loyal and helpful and my Master and the then-Master Trainer of the Jedi Academy. We were all pleased with him and, when the child became of age to be tested, my Master made sure the tests were done thoroughly and, as he did have the necessary midi-chlorians to become a Jedi, gave Palpatine immediate entrance to the Academy for study. 

"I fully admit I was fond of this young man and his engaging manners. My Master and I along with other Masters and Knights hoped that Palpatine would follow the Jedi path. Having attained my Mastery by training my first Padawan to Knighthood a year before I was fully prepared and declared by the Council to be ready to train another Padawan. 

"I immediately settled my ideals upon young Palpatine, despite my former Master’s disapproval. However, I chose to train the initiate and it was then I began to see him in a different light, for now through the training bond I sensed his vicious propensities and a decided turn toward the Dark Side. I was upset by this change of events and did all I could to train him and shield him from the Sith, but he was caught by my Master performing a Rite of Sith within the Holy Confines of the Jedi Temple. He was immediately stripped of knowledge and honor, and cast out of the Order. 

“From that time, I do not know how he lived but I heard rumors to the effect that he had been sent to the Outer Rim to pursue a life of silence and disgrace. I felt his disgrace to be my own and chose to leave the Order. Masters Saesee Tiin, Yaddle and Poof intervened on my behalf without my knowledge and I was told that my departure from the Order was unacceptable. I insisted that I be denied the right to train another until the Council chose for me. The Council accepted this and stated that my only punishment should be that I would be denied for all time a seat on the High Council of Jedi. This settled, I was summoned to return to the Academy where I was placed as the Master Trainer since my own former Master choose to take a Leave of Absence. Things settled once more and I felt myself once more confident that Palpatine would no more trouble those I cared for. 

“A year after these events I was left with the care of Sabè Naberrie. Her parents were from Naboo, like you, and she was also possessed of a high midi-chlorian count. I share her guardianship with my dear friend Saesee Tiin, who, if you wish to check the authenticity of any or all my statements will be happy to assure you on any of these counts. 

"Sabè, who is now about five years your junior was at the time of this event merely fifteen in standard years. She was attending a regular school before she was to be brought to the academy. Her performance there was so proficient that she was removed from the parochial school on Alderaan and sent for a vacation treat to Malastrana with a senator. Thither also went Palpatine, undoubtedly by design, for there proved to have been a prior acquaintance between him and Senator Toonbuck Toora, in whose character we were most unhappily deceived. 

"By their connivance and mind-whammies, they convinced Sabè to be persuaded that she was in love and to consent to a consort-training bond with Palpatine. I can only blame her age and the untrained state of her mind for her imprudence, but I am happy to add that my knowledge of this infamous arrangement was supplied to me by her own lips. I, for a surprise, travelled to Malastrana and joined them unexpectedly a day or two before the bond was arranged to take place. Unable to support the idea of grieving a guardian who was father, brother and friend to her, she acknowledged the whole to me.  
“You may imagine how I acted. Palpatine left the planet immediately. His chief motive was unquestionably my charge’s midi-chlorian count of 30,000. Which, if he had trained her, she would be assuredly a Sith Lord. I imagine he also thought to revenge himself on me and the Jedi Council, which, if he had succeeded, his revenge would have been complete, indeed. 

"This, Initiate, is a faithful narrative of all my dealings with Senator Palpatine. I do not know in what manner or under what form of falsehood he has imposed upon you but I hope you will acquit me of cruelty toward him.”

Obi-Wan gasped and snapped the projector into vocal mode only. He couldn’t sit still. He had to move. He pinned the device to his shirtsleeve and warmed himself up again and set out for home. He didn’t want to hear the next part, but he had to know. He knew it would grieve him and it would concern Master Windu and dearest Jah’nne but he had to know. Jogging, while Master Jinn voice coolly informed him of what he least wanted to hear.

“Now to your first accusation, Initiate Kenobi. You stated that, willfully and regardless of the sentiments of either party, I detached Master Windu from your Creche-mate. I had not long been on Naboo before I saw that my former Creche-mate, fellow Padawan and once lover, now friend Mace Windu preferred your Creche-mate to any of the other initiates on the planet. But it was not until the evening of the NethaTheed tourney that I had any apprehension of a serious intention to bond. That he was interested in training her and, more to the point, of entering into a soul-bond with her was beyond what I had ever witnessed in him before. 

"Your Creche-mate I also watched. Her looks and manner were close to the Force and open to be trained, and that; although she received both his teachings and attentions with pleasure, I did not detect the peculiar regard, which is necessary to complete a soul-bond. Perhaps it was the serenity of her countenance and air that lead me to believe that her heart and soul was not likely to be easily touched. I did not believe her to be indifferent because I wished it, I believed it on impartial conviction.”

Obi-Wan nearly tripped over his own feet at this statement.

“Oh yeah! Right!” he cried to no one in particular. “I’m sure it was very impartial, you Sith-spawn!” He righted himself and retied his shoe before jogging further as the voice of Master Jinn continued.

“My objections to the bonding were not merely those which I last night acknowledged but the situation of your Housekeeper’s emotional training, though objectionable, was nothing in comparison of that total want of propriety betrayed by herself and your three younger Creche-mates.”

Obi-Wan’s mind rolled back that awful evening at NethaTheed. Mistress Fan’yi bellowing to all and sundry that Jah’nne and Windu were all but bonded, Flas-Ok all but ruining Jar Jar Binks’ chances of ever reproducing, and Khi’to and Maul running around like rabid Ewoks on speed. 

The condo was in the distance. Obi-Wan slowed to a walk and cringed at the memory Master Jinn had just drawn. He could not deny that the Master had a point and he wished he had been able to stop those events even then. Master Jinn continued, 

“He left NethaTheed for Coruscant with the design of returning soon. Once on Coruscant I readily engaged in the office of pointing out to my friend the certain evils of such a choice. With the aide of Mas Amedda and the Neimoidians, we described and enforced them earnestly, seconding the assurances with our belief in your Creche-mate’s indifference. I cannot blame myself for having done this much.”

“Of course you don’t blame yourself, you . . . you jerk!” Obi-Wan hissed under his breath, realizing that if he started screaming at no one all by himself in a field of flowers, Senator Taa would have him wrapped in pink towels and carted off to an insane sanatorium.

“There is but one part of my conduct in the whole affairs on which I do not reflect with satisfaction,” Jinn’s voice intoned.

Obi-Wan grunted and bent in a body stretch, grumbling, “Only one, Great and Holy Master Jinn? Go on, surprise me with your moment of filthy sin.”

“That is,” Jinn’s voice sounded slower for an instant, “that I concealed your Creche-mate’s being on Coruscant from Mace. Perhaps this disguise was beneath me, but it is done and done for the best. On this subject I have nothing more to say and no other apology to make.”

Obi-Wan flinched as he heard the Senator scream his name and realized that he ought to have been home much earlier. He stomped towards the condo. Master Jinn’s final words echoing in his ears.

“As I stated before, for the truth of everything here related I can appeal to the testimony of Master Saesee Tiin, who from our near relationship in the Jedi order and close confidence and friendship has been unavoidably acquainted with every particular of these transactions. If your abhorrence of me should make my assertions valueless, you cannot be prevented the same cause from confiding in my friend and that there may be the possibilities of consulting him, I shall endeavor to find some opportunity of putting this projector in you hands in the course of this morning. 

"I will only add, May the Force Be with You.  
Qui-Gon Jinn.”

Obi-Wan entered the house only barely noticing when Reppi hopped around him telling him in the most animated way about how the two Masters had stopped by the condo to say ‘good bye’ as they were to return to Coruscant the next morning. Reppi seemed a little put out that Obi-Wan was uninterested in the fact the Master Jinn had come but stayed only a few minutes but Master Tiin had waited nearly a standard hour in the hopes of seeing Obi-Wan. 

The young initiate was undergoing such a welter of emotion it was quite understandable that he stumbled three times going up the stairs and walked into the doorframe of his own room.

He was firstly drawn to think that Master Jinn was a filthy liar and poor Palpatine was indeed a victim but as he reflected on this, it slowly occurred to him that Palpatine had told him some very personal things at the beginning of their meeting which would be considered by most to be rather rude and quite inappropriate for any to say to a stranger and certainly never to an Initiate of the Force. Nothing was known about Palpatine on Naboo save what he had told them. 

Obi-Wan remembered how sharp his own tongue had become when the Senator was near. How easily anger had flowed through him. He shivered. He had nearly given himself to that creature of Darkness. Obi-Wan blushed with shame as he remembered his bout with Master Jinn. He now saw that he had indeed reached for the Dark Side and its hateful strength to help him in his bout against the Jedi Master. 

His head bowed when he realized how truly grateful he should be to the Master. Jinn had seen through the shroud of darkness and in defeating Obi-Wan so soundly he had torn away that veil Palpatine had placed on him. Obi-Wan shuddered. That’s why he had felt so drained and so helpless yet so clean when he had fallen to the matt. Jinn had freed him from the taint of evil and given him his own untrained Jedi soul back. 

He felt terrible for his part in shielding Palpatine and wondered that Master Yoda had not seen the senator’s evil. Then he recalled that Master Yoda had treated the senator with silence and the Senator had almost seemed to stay as far away from the wizened Jedi Master as he could. Obi-Wan cursed himself for not noticing these things before. 

Obi-Wan held the projector ready to press erase but couldn’t do it. He needed to hear these things again. He needed time to meditate on the properly. He needed- 

Senator Taa was screaming at them all that it was time to get to Rozingz again.

Seated calmly before the Chancellor once again. Obi-Wan watched the grumpy old man; pondering that if he had accepted Jinn he would be greeting the Senator as Jinn’s Padawan right now. Obi-Wan idly amused himself in wondering what the Senator’s reactions would be.

The senator was not being amusing. He was whining about the Masters leaving.

“Those Masters are so particularly attached to Rozingz. They were excessively sorry to go but so they always are. The dear Iktotchi Master rallied his spirits tolerably but Jinn seemed to feel it most acutely. His attachment to Rozingz certainly is increasing.” 

Valorum paused to smile at his daughter who was trying to undress herself and occasionally managing to fling pieces of clothing across the room. Agrippa, who was assuring the company that Sei was trying to demonstrate her feeling of freedom in the Force, was preventing her from full frontal nudity. 

Obi-Wan watched and tried not to laugh, as he realized that Jinn had no intention whatsoever of even trying to make this delusionary character into a Padawan. 

“You are remarkably dull this evening, Initiate Obi-Wan Kenobi,” the Chancellor suddenly commented. “Are you so out of sorts?”

“No, Your Excellency, I- ”

“Of course, you are. You are planning on leaving in a few days. Well, you must send a message to your Housekeeper telling her you wish to remain and if you do so and stay the standard month out it will be in my power to send you back to Naboo by a cargo freight box which will mean that instead of passenger fare and food you will travel half a day faster on a flat weight only fare.”

Senator Taa made excited ‘ooo’ing noises over this piece of supposed generosity. Obi-Wan managed not to roll his eyes when he replied, 

“Your Excellency is very kind but I think Reppi and I must return when we planned. My Trainer has already sent a communiqué requesting my return and it includes tickets on the Outer Rim StarWays run which, as you know, is very fast and well guarded.”

The Chancellor sniffed in a manner, which assured the present company he was not pleased although his next comment assured then he was resigned to the decision.

“I can’t abide the thought of two initiates traveling alone. It is positively disgusting to me. I strongly . . . . ”

“My Uncle Yaeral Poof will be sending a protocol droid to meet us when we change to the StarWays run on Coruscant, Your Excellency.”

“Oh! Your Uncle keeps a protocol droid, does he? I am glad you have someone who thinks of these things. Where will you change to the StarWay? Bromley Station on Coruscant, of course. Mention my name at the Bell Building there and they will serve you fried amphibians for half price.”

“Thank you, Your Excellency is most kind.”

“Indeed!” burbled Free Taa, “and who would not be delighted to-”

“Yes! Yes!” yelled the Chancellor and smacked Free Taa over the head with his symbolic blue band. “But it is all very vexing.” 

The Chancellor turned and favored Obi-Wan with another glare.

“I am most pissed off!”


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maul gets rather icky about now. He'll continue to get ickier, if not rather sqwikie in some people's view. If this isn't you're idea of humor, please tune in in a few weeks for the last chapter, it ends happily.
> 
>  
> 
> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various   
> Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

The air taxi was humming by the front entrance and I’Ole was helping Reppi to store her belongings on board with the pilot’s help. Obi-Wan stood aside a moment and looked about him. 

The area was beautiful beyond compare but the memories it aroused. He sighed and rubbed his eyes again. He had not slept well. He had not slept well for the last few nights. He had tossed and turned thinking about Master Jinn and his reproofs. He could not refute them. Up until then he felt as though he had not truly known himself and now he was exposed, and he did not think he liked what he now saw.

“My dear Initiate Obi-Wan,” 

Obi-Wan turned at the simpering tone of the senator. 

“Now that you have seen our simple life you can readily appreciate the good fortune we have at the Chancellor’s every whim. You may, in fact, carry a very favorable report of us back to little Naboo, my dear Initiate. I flatter myself at least that you will be able to do so. The Supreme Chancellor’s great attentions to Consort Taa you have been a daily witness of and altogether I trust it appears that your friend has a most fortunate. . . But on this point it would be as well to be silent.” 

The senator was almost batting his eyelids at Obi-Wan who could see that Taa was merely trying to rub it in. Obi-Wan smiled at the senator, feeling oddly free of any anger or malicious laughter, and inclined his head, demurely lowering his eyes. 

“You are very good, Senator Taa.”

“Well,” the senator expanded and patted his shoulder lightly. “ My dear initiate, only let me assure you, from all three of my hearts, that I can, most cordially, wish you an equal felicity in whatever sort of bond you may form in the future. My Twinkie-Pie and I have but one mind and one way of thinking. We seem to have been designed for each other!”

The Senator turned as did Obi-Wan and they both looked at I’Ole. The Senator blew some little kissies at her and she looked at him then saw Obi-Wan smiling vaguely. He shrugged and she immediately created a smile for the Senator.

Obi-Wan was very relieved by the time they made it on board the StarWay cruiser. He was ready, oh so ready to go home and see Jah’nne again. He was desperate to talk to Master Yoda but didn’t know what in the Force he was going to say.

Reppi moved closer to Obi-Wan and laid her head on his shoulder as they both stood at the main view window watching as the Cruiser left the dock and turned to move into the flight lanes, leaving the humming megalopolis of Coruscant. They turned and began to walk to their seats to strap themselves in while the cruiser made the jump to light speed once it was clear of the main planet.

Obi-Wan helped Reppi with her restrainers. She giggled, 

“Force! It seems like only a day or two since we were arriving on Alderaan and yet what a lot stuff has happened!”

“Sure has,” Obi-Wan concurred, wondering if anyone at all realized just how much ‘stuff’ had actually happened.

“We had dinner nine times at Rozingz and spent two entire afternoons with snackies. I can’t wait to get back to ol’ Naboo! How much we’ve both got to tell everyone.”   
Reppi hugged his arm and cuddled down for a nap. While Obi-Wan sighed and sat back, mentally adding, 

“And how much I shall have to conceal!”

 

Obi-Wan sighed with delight as stepped off the cruiser back onto small backwater, but no less beautiful, Naboo. Theed shone in the afternoon sun and the dome of NethaTheed was as golden as the light itself. The air was sweet and full of amphibian song. The Harbor slooshed peacefully and the locals bargained, shopped and gossiped. He had barely reached for his carry pack and Reppi’s hand to help her off the tracking stairs of the cruiser, when,

“Obi!” 

Sounding clear across the square. He shaded his eyes and looked about. There, on the fourth floor of the Theed Grand Inn, the window was swinging open on its ornate casement and Maul was hanging out of it, waving madly at them. 

Obi-Wan smiled in spite of himself and returned the wave. Reppi squeaked and blew kissies. Maul got enthusiastic and started blowing them back with both hands. Unfortunately this action caused him to lose his balance and although Khi’to was holding the hem of Maul’s tunic, the two new arrivals still heard the muffled crack of Maul’s face contacting sharply with the outside wall of the Inn. 

Both initiates cringed, caught up their bags, thanked the cruiser steward who looked as though he really, really wanted to leave the planet, and strolled across the square to meet with Maul and Khi’to. 

There were hugs, squeezes and smoochies all round and, after Obi-Wan had cleaned and bandaged Maul’s forehead, which was slightly difficult as Maul, Khi’to related, had just finished eating an entire five standard pound box of Cerean chocolate cherries and was so hyped on the sugar content he was visibly shaking. Still slightly bloodied but very, very happy, the youngest dragged the two older back up the stairs.

“See!” he shrieked at the top of his lungs. Obi-Wan winced at the noise level and looked in the room to see what the sixty-nine hells Maul was so excited about this time. The room was set up for a meal. The table bore the usual inn fare for the time of year; fresh-water salads and one of the larger types of cold dressed amphibian and falumpaset cheeses. 

“Isn’t this great! Aren’t you totally surprised?” Khi’to blabbed and managed to get a word in edgeways entirely by fluke. Maul butted in right away.

“And Khi’to and I mean to treat you both, but Obi has to pay because we spent all our money in the shop over there” 

Maul bounced to the side table, produced a black plastic refuse bag and out of it produced a badly taxidermied Dug. Maul regarded it commenting, 

“It’s pretty ugly but I think I’ll pull it apart at home and see if I can make it look slightly more realistic. I think it would make a really cool hat, don’t you?”

Maul planted the thing butt down on his own head. The effect was beyond description. Obi-Wan felt vaguely queasy.

“It’s gross isn’t it, Obi?” Khi’to commented.

“Yes . . .” Obi-Wan was still riveted by the sight of the obscene thing. “It is quite. . . er. . . gross! Maul, you do know that that could be someone’s . . .er. . .relative?”

“Oh, but there some even grosser things in the shop. I’m sure if it was a relative anybody wanted they wouldn’t have sold him . . . her. . . it . . . whatever. I can’t find anything that resembles genitals on it. In which case I might as well use it for a merkin. Anyway, it will not signify what anybody wears this season after the Senators leave. Our hearts are broken and we’ll all have blue balls before the month is out. I’m already tired of having to make do with dewback lizards.” 

Frustrated in more ways than one, Maul threw his latest acquisition out the window and subsided into a deep blue funk. There were a few screams from the street below but Obi-Wan felt it was wisest to ignore them. This would be the surest method of Maul forgetting about his merkin material and perhaps some kind being would bury, or dispose of the semi-preserved Dug. Obi-Wan quickly changed the subject.

“What’s this about the senators?”

“The senators have been re-assigned to Hoth and are leaving in two standard weeks,” Khi’to grumpily informed him.

“Are they indeed?” Obi-Wan was secretly pleased by this information.

“Yes, and as I said they are being sent to Hoth and Master Yoda refuses to take us there for a winter holiday.” 

Obi-Wan cringed at the thought of Maul and his favorites rampaging all over Hoth. The only favorable side of the idea he could think of was that Hoth was relatively uninhabited, thus Maul could damage a great deal of landscape but not actually kill anything other than anyone stupid enough to accompany him or just be in his general vicinity.

“Actually we do have some good news about someone we all know and lust after.” Maul brightened up. “Shall we tell Obi, Khi’to?”

“Yes!” Khi’to was always the willing cohort in trouble. “And we’ll all see just how much he blushes.”

“Or comes,” Maul added making the pair snigger happily. 

Obi-Wan wrapped the serenity of the Force about himself and smiled politely to the Ortoloan waiter, who had been fussing with the boiling of pudding noodles near the end of the table.

“Thank you for carving. You don’t need to stay, we’ll call if we would like anything else.”

The Ortoloan looked vaguely disappointed and left with a mumbled, 

“Yes, Jedi.”

Maul giggled and watched the waiter leave before turning back to Obi-Wan, 

“That’s just like you and Jah’nne’s formality. I’m sure he’s heard a lot worse than what I’m about to tell you. Mind, I’m glad you asked him to leave. I hate Ortoloans, they fart way too much. Anyway, there is no danger of Senator Palpatine bonding with Mareee Kah’ing. She’s gone to Dantooine to stay with her uncle. Forever! Palpatine is safe!”

“Perhaps we should say Mareee Kah’ing is safe,” Obi-Wan muttered but Reppi, all eyes and ears at the news, leaned across the table, asking Maul, 

“But do you think there was a very strong attraction between them?”

Maul snorted and started impaling small dinner rolls on his horns. 

“Not on his part! I’m sure he never cared three dried newts about her. Who could about such a nasty little hairy thing? And don't look at me like that Obi,” 

Maul threw one of the rolls at his Creche-mate who made no move but stopped the flying bread with the Force before it had travelled more than six standard inches from Maul’s hand. 

“I know perfectly well you disliked that Wookie as much as any of us.” Maul instantly recovered his spirits. “Well, this is such fun! I love eating out. Pass the seaweed, Khi’to. And what a merry party we shall be on the way home.”

Obi-Wan privately felt that merry was not the word. Once Reppi had been collected by Jar Jar Binks riding a hovercycle badly, the three members of the Lüngb’urne Creche rode a local dewback home on which Khi’to and Maul squabbled and beat each other up for the entire journey.

 

“Master Jinn offered to bond with you?” Jah’nne was trying to tie her hair ribbon as she climbed into bed. Once again the two eldest Creche-mates were having a confession and comfort session. 

Obi-Wan perched on the coverlet feeling rather resplendent in the new red fuzzy jammies he had purchased on Alderaan. They were cozy and had a flap that buttoned over his botty and soft foamy bits on the feet so he didn’t need slippers. Jah’nne had thought them most dashing and both Maul and Khi’to had regarded them with avarice. 

Obi-Wan nodded guiltily, enjoying his Creche-mate’s shock. Until he had actually watched her reaction he hadn’t thought about how, in retrospect, exciting and wonderful it actually was to have had the great Master Jinn asking him to accept a training bond, asking little Obi-Wan Kenobi of backwater Naboo to form a deep lasting attachment with Master Qui-Gon Jinn, Master Trainer of the Jedi Temple of Coruscant. 

The more Obi-Wan thought about it, the more he wasn’t sure what he actually thought about it, but thinking about it made him tingle and blush all over. What would they have called each other? The Master would call him Padawan of course but he? What would he have called the Master? Master Jinn? Master Qui-Gon? Qui-Gon? Master?

“What sort of bond was it?” 

Obi-Wan jumped at Jah’nne’s question. 

“What do you mean?” 

Jah’nne climbed into the bed and Obi-Wan slobbed down on his stomach next to her and fiddled with the fringes of his sleep shawl.

“Was it just a training bond? Did he offer you a . . . ” Jah’nne lowered her voice to a whisper, “soul-bond?”

Obi-Wan stared into space. What would they have called each other then, said to each other then? Padawan? Master? Obi-Wan eyes glazed involuntarily and he started to tremble. 

“Obi-Bunnie?” 

Obi-Wan turned at looked at her. He could feel his face flaming. Jah’nne stared. Obi-Wan collected himself. 

“We never got to that part. He offered and I refused.”

“Imagine Master Jinn asking you to bond with him . . . .” Jah’nne stared into space, then recovered. “Not that it would in anyway surprise me that a great Master like him would ask you.” 

Obi-Wan giggled as Jah’nne went on, 

“But he seemed so cold, so distant. Obi-Bunnie, I think he must be truly in love with you and wanted a soul-bond. And you refused him! Poor Master Jinn!”

“I’m sure he has other feelings which will probably soon drive away his admiration for me.” Obi-Wan smiled though a trifle sadly. 

“Jah’nne, you do not blame me for refusing him?” Obi-Wan couldn’t help but ask. There was no way in the Force he would ever be able to confess to Master Yoda that he had refused not only a Master but the Master Trainer of the Main Temple on Curoscant. The very thought of Yoda ever finding out made Obi-Wan want to curl in a corner and die.

“Blame you?” cried Jah’nne. “Of course not.”

“But you do blame me for speaking so warmly of Senator Palpatine. ”

“No. How could you know of his baser nature? Well, if he really was so very drawn to the Sithness. Perhaps there has been some terrible misunderstanding. ”

Obi-Wan clasped his Creche-mate’s hand, 

“No, Jah’nne. You will not be able to make them both good. There is just enough merit between both of them to make one good sort of Jedi. And I am now inclined to believe all the goodness is Master Jinn’s.”

“Poor Master Jinn,” Jah’nne said softly. “Only consider what he has suffered on behalf of his ward. But. . . Oh Force! Poor Palpatine, there was such an expression of goodness and openness in his countenance.”

Obi-Wan smiled, blinked back tears and said laughingly, “Yes one has all the goodness and the other all the appearance of it.”

“Obi-Bunnie, come now, when you first viewed that message, I’m sure you did not treat the matter as lightly as you do now.”

Obi-Wan shivered. Jah’nne sat up and wrapped her arms about him. He snuggled against her.

“Indeed, I could not. I was very very uncomfortable. I felt so alone and, ” he squirmed to look up, “I had no Jah’nne to comfort me.” He squeezed her close, burying his head against her neck. “Oh, how I wanted you then.”

Jah’nne held him tight while he pretended not to cry. He finally recovered himself and sniffed. Jah’nne kept hold of his hand while he scrubbed away a few remaining tears with the other. He settled himself and looked at her.

“Jah’nne, there is one point on which I want your advice. I want to be told whether I ought to make the others of our Creche rings on Naboo to be aware of Palpatine’s character?” 

Jah’nne considered a moment then, “Surely there can be no occasion for exposing him so dreadfully. What is your own opinion?”

“That it ought not to be attempted. Master Jinn has not authorized me to make any of his communication public. On the contrary, every particular relative to his ward was meant to be kept as much to myself as possible. Besides, Palpatine will be leaving with the rest of those senators and therefore it won’t matter anyway. At present I will say nothing about it.”

“I agree,” Jah’nne smiled, then hugged Obi-Wan again. “I’m so glad you’re back!”

 

Next morning when Obi-Wan was seated at breakfast he was not altogether sure he really was happy to be back. Maul, Khi’to and the Mistress were waging their loudest campaign to get Master Yoda to take them all to Hoth. 

The Mistress was certain that Hoth was a lovely place of many Force-enhanced views all of which would be educational. 

Khi’to was certain that a little snow-boarding would set him up forever! Maul simply sat in his chair kicking the legs and screaming at the top of his lungs, 

“I WANT TO GO TO HOTH! “

Obi-Wan and Jah’nne watched their Master in some alarm as the elderly Dagobari simply smiled at them and shook his head then went back to reading his daily newsvendor editorial section and slowly chewing his breakfast porridge. The Mistress and Khi’to got fed up and flounced out to complain to either HI-55 or Flas-Ok neither of whom were in the slightest bit interested.

Maul, after glaring at his Master, tried once more with the volume and screamed so stridently, so loud and so long that the marsh reverberated, ten fuses in HI-55 popped and all the dining room and attic windows smashed. Maul eventually turned the most remarkable shade of puce and passed out.

Slowly Obi-Wan and Jah’nne crept out from under the table and took their fingers out of their ears which despite being blocked were ringing.

“Master?” Obi-Wan ventured. The little green trainer looked up from his holovid and smiled sweetly, then reached into his long pointy ears and removed out a couple of blue things.

“Fine sound barrier Zukki berry gum makes. Try it next time you should. Save getting earwax on fingers it will.” 

Master Yoda went back to his editorial, Obi-Wan and Jah’nne stole out, marveling at the wisdom of their wonderful Master and Maul was left to hyperventilate himself back to consciousness.

 

Now that he was once more settle back at the Creche, Obi-Wan was able to observe his closest Creche mate and to him it was more than obvious she was not happy. He snuck through to perch on her bed once more and asked her. 

“Oh, Obi-Bunnie. He will be forgot. Besides, I have nothing to reproach him with. I do not have that pain at least. And I may remember Master Windu as the finest Master I have ever had the privilege to spar with.” 

Obi-Wan had left her on that but over a standard week later when they were gathering whiffle flowers for HI-55 to make pudding with, he broached the subject with her again.

“You are not happy, Jah’nne.”

“I . . . Oh, Obi-Bunnie, I admit I still do prefer Master Windu to any other Master or Knight I have ever met. Any man I ever met. Obi-Bunnie, I still believe that he- Well, I am wrong. Don’t worry about me, Obi.” 

Jah’nne smiled bravely and tried to speak lightly but Obi-Wan knew her too well and their closeness made her distress tangible in the Force to him.

“I promise, Obi-Bunnie. I will forget Master Windu and we shall go on as we did before in the Force and learning the Ways of Jedi. I will be happy again, I promise.” 

Obi-Wan watched her disappear into the kitchen with her basket. He fiddled with his own half full basket and pondered. He put himself back into his chore when Mistress Fan’iy pattered out to help him. She shook the bushes fiercely and when nothing happened, twitched her headtails and sighed gustily.

“Well, Obi, what is your opinion of this sad business of Jah’nne’s? I cannot find out if she saw or sensed anything of him on Coruscant. Well, he is a very unjedi-like Master! I suppose there isn’t a hope in the sixty-nine hells that she’ll ever get him now. There’s no talk of him coming back to Naboo.”

“I don’t believe Master Windu will train at NethaTheed any more, Mistress.” Obi-Wan went diligently about his harvesting once more.

“Oh well!” snapped their fussy Governess. “It is just as he chooses. No one wants him to come! Although I shall always say he taught my initiate very ill and if I had been her I would have trod on his toes for it.” The housekeeper switch her basket from one arm to the other. 

“I suppose our only comfort will be that she will go insane from an unfulfilled soul-bond and it will be his fault and maybe then he’ll feel sorry for what he has done when he sees her tied up in a corner gibbering!”

Obi-Wan hid a smile and plucked blossoms with a tranquil mind. The Housekeeper fussed, then went back to abusing the shrubberies. 

“So the Taa’s live quite comfortably, do they? Well, I hope it will last and remain in the Force. I suppose they often talk of coming here when your dear Master dies or winks out or fades to pale blue or whatever old Jedi do nowadays. They look on it as quite their own , I dare say.”

Obi-Wan couldn’t stifled the giggle this time. “They could hardly discuss such things in front of me, Mistress.”

“I guess so, but I make no doubt that they talk of it constantly between themselves. Well, if they can be happy owning an easement on a training Creche with neither of them trained to the Force so much the better. I should be so ashamed of having an easement over anything at all. Why it’s like being a prostitute.”

Before Obi-Wan could question his Mistress on this fascinating statement there was a noise like a giant eel being tortured with a Bantha and Maul came bounding out of the house attired in nothing but the breakfast tablecloth. Khi’to was chasing after him screaming something about cereal.

“Mistress! Mistress!” Maul was waving a holovid in his free hand. He bounced to their sides, shrieking, “Guesswhatguesswhatguesswhat! Don’t bother you’ll never get it. Listenlistenlisten! My friend Liana Merian, Consort of Horox Ryyder has invited me to be her social secretary when she and her senator go to Hoth.”

“Ooo!” enthused the Housekeeper. “What a great honor to be so singled out to organize parties for people.”

“Obi-Wan! It’s not fair!” This cry was from Khi’to. “I think I ought to be invited too. I may not be so friendly with Liana as Maul but I’ve got just as many midi-chlorians as Maul . . . Besides I’m two standard years older and have been to Theed’s Memorial Craft College! No one else in this Creche can boast a certificate from the Mah’tha Stoo Art School of Obsessive Behavior!!”

“Hahaha! Go stick your glue-gun up your butt, pickle-brain.” 

Maul hoiked up a lugie and threatened Khi’to with it. Khi’to burst into howls of rage and ran back to the Creche, mind-whammie-ing the door open so hard it flew into the hedge and hung there sadly.

“I don’t see what he so upset for,” Maul pouted cutely, “I was going to send him a holocard.”

“Don’t sneer at your Creche-mate yet, Maullie,” Obi-Wan said gently. Both the Housekeeper and Maul turned and gave him equally stupid look. 

“Master Yoda has not given his permission for you to go, little one, and nor is he likely to.”

Maul bounced over and wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan and squeezed tight, then abruptly dropped him, saying, 

“But Master Yoda won’t refuse me, not when I’ve been asked especially by the senatorial peer group whip’s consort. Mistress, I want new clothes. I’m the social secretary now!”

“Of course, Maullie, my little Tezirett Seed.”

 

“Master Yoda-”

“Never easy Maul will be until exposed himself he has in public place. Expect him to do it cheaply on Hoth we can. Too cold to be long naked and damage costs there small change will be.”

“Master . . . .” Obi-Wan tried to convince the Master this Maul to Hoth idea was bad. “If you were aware of the great disadvantage to all of us which might arise from Maul’s imprudent manners, hells, what has already arisen from it, I- ”

“Arisen already?” Yoda asked, with a twinkle in his eye. “Away chased some of your Master potentials? Poor Obi-Bunnie! Cast down you must not be! Regret such squeamish Masters you should not, Obi-Bunnie. List you have of them to show?”

Obi-Wan groaned and tried a different tactic. He was not even going to think about Master Jinn. 

“No Master. I have no such owies to feel indignant about. Master, I am thinking of general evils. Our very respectability as a Creche is called into question by Maul’s wild behavior. Forgive me Master, but if he is not checked and spanked quite hard, his character will be fixed as the most unsanitary slut that ever made himself and his Creche look Grey. You know Khi’to follows wherever Maul drags him by the nostrils. They will be censured and despised by all members of the Jedi Order and their associates and admirers wherever they are known and the pair of them will involve the entire Creche in their disgrace and Grayness.”

“Uneasy you must not make yourself, Obi-Bunnie. Respected and valued you and Jah’nne always will be everywhere. Care, no one does, that three stupid initiates share Creche with you do. No peace or quiet to be had at the Creche, if go to Hoth Maul doesn’t. Senator’s slightly smart. Maul’s midi-chlorian level too low it is, to be prey to Sith. Rest you must Obi-Bunnie, well I think this will turn out.”

Obi-Wan hung his curly head and turned to leave.

Master Yoda reached out his hand. “Come here, my Obi-Bunnie.”

Sighing, Obi-Wan went and knelt at his beloved trainer’s footstool. He laid his head in the Dagobari’s small lap and sniffed despondently. He felt the short three fingered hands softly stroke his long hair.

“Tell me sometime you must, Obi-Bunnie. Cut you hair who wanted to? Tell me too, why refused him you did.” 

Obi-Wan had no reply and sensed that perhaps the elderly Jedi had already guessed. He rubbed his cheek against the petal soft robe. The stumpy fingers played in his hair. 

“Promise, please, Obi-my-Obi,” came a soft whisper.

“Anything, Master,” Obi-Wan murmured.

Again, so softly, “When cut hair, soul-mate does, keep for me you will?”

“Yes, Master. But I - I don’t think I’ll be having a soul mate. If things-If I am not bonded by this time next season I think I will close my training and go to the university to study instead. May I do that, Master?” 

There was silence as Obi-Wan snuggled close to the old Jedi Master. He could hear the elder’s soft breathing and the rapid tika-tika-tika of his tubular heart. The gnarled hand stroked through the spun sunset hair and down the soft pink cheek, brushing against delicate eyelids to wipe away the tears that once more flowed from the clear green eyes across a sweet but woebegone face.

“Rest now, Little Obi-Bunnie. Happy ending you will have, yes, yes. Happy ending for Obi-Bunnie.”

 

Obi-Wan sighed as he stood next to his Mistress as she lamented to the Senator Whip and Boss Nass what a major bummer it was that the senators were leaving for Hoth.

“However, Senator Horox Ryyder, we are so happy that you and your dear consort have invited our little Maullie along for the ride.”

The senator chuckled.   
“Wasn’t given much of a choice, Mistress. Look at the pair of them, thick as Jawas and their money. Force know what they find to talk about. But anything to keep a consort happy and catalogs aren’t everything y’know,” as he bobbed and nodded at the dance floor where Liana and Maul were giggling and slam dancing with a few other senators.

Obi-Wan moved to the wet bar and mixed himself a fruit seltzer with a twist then found a miniature pickled tree frog on a stick to nibble on.

“Well, the time has come for us to part.” A soft cloying voice made the skin on the back of Obi-Wan’s neck prickle unpleasantly.

“Senator Palpatine. Yes, indeed it has. But I’m sure we shall each find ample sources of consolation. You will see the icy wonders of Hoth and I am to tour Bespin, Kashyyyk and Coruscant with my Aunt and Uncle during the next standard month.”

Palpatine smiled and, slipping his hand to the small of Obi-Wan’s back, conducted the Initiate to a few seats away from the crowd at the bar and finger food buffet. Obi-Wan sensed the darkness in this being trying to sidle its way into him via the physical contact. Obi-Wan calmed himself in the Force and drew the searing brightness of It all through his being. Palpatine’s hand vanished from him and the senator gave a nervous light laugh. 

“So, how did you find Rozingz?”

Obi-Wan smiled sweetly at him. 

“Very interesting. Master Jinn was there as was a fellow Master and High Council member. Are you acquainted with Master Saesee Tiin?”

Palpatine looked surprised, displeased, alarmed but with a moment of recollection and a returning smile replied that he had formally seen him often and after observing that he was very strong in the Force asked Obi-Wan how he had liked him.

“Very much,” Obi-Wan smiled warmly remembering the kindness of this Master.

“He . . . he is very different from Master Jinn,” Palpatine fished. Obi-Wan almost grinned at the opening he had been offered. 

“Yes, very different. But I think Master Jinn improves on acquaintance.

“Indeed?” Palpatine gasped with a look which did not escape Obi-Wan. “And pray, may I ask?” but checking himself, added in a more jovial voice, “is it in address that he improves? Has he deigned to add a touch of civility to his ordinary style? For I dare not hope,” he added in a lower, more serious tone, “that he has improved in essentials.”

Obi-Wan smiled and leaned back comfortably in the chair, gathering the Force about him in a manner he knew that Palpatine could readily feel, he gazed directly into the Sith-spawn’s eyes and said, 

“In essentials I believe he is much of what he ever was.”

Palpatine raised his eyebrows and squinted, almost as though the brightness was hard on his eyes. Obi-Wan watched the senator carefully as he went on. 

“When I said he improved on acquaintance, I did not mean that either his mind or manners were in a state of improvement, but that from knowing him better, his disposition was better understood.” 

Obi-Wan watched as Palpatine opened and closed his mouth then looked at him carefully.

“I see,” he replied quietly, but there was a bit in his timbre that bore a coldness no wind on Hoth would ever equal. They both rose and happily Liana came bouncing over. 

“Senator,” she giggled and started to lead him away. Palpatine turned and looked at Obi-Wan once more. It was not a pleasant look. 

“Excuse me, Initiate.” His wonderful engaging smile shone down on the young consort. “At your complete service, Consort Ryyder.”

Obi-Wan sipped his refreshing nonalcoholic drink with an amused little smile and a sigh of relief. 

“Yes, go. Go,” he whispered to no one. “I would not wish you back.”

 

The next day the entire Lüngb’urne Creche bounced out onto the foyer to witness Maul’s departure to Hoth. Maul was bubbling with delight and spirits. Obi-Wan and Jah’nne followed gracefully after Master Yoda and watched calmly from the front steps. Flas-Ok stood near them radiating disapproval. Khi’to was almost sobbing with rage. The Mistress and Maul were floating on air. Or they would have been if either ever paid much attention to the lessons in levitation.

“Bye, everybody! I’ll send a holovid every damned day and tell you everything I’ve done and everybody I’ve done too! Hah! You’ll all be wild with jealousy!” Maul crowed and giggled. The air-taxi pilot stood by and held the cab door open. Maul bounced up, but turned back to another comment.

“Don’t worry, Jah’nne and Obi. I’ll send an extra freight fare if I nail any good Masters for you. And I do mean ‘nail’,” he sniggered and stuck out his hips and wiggled the thing he was wearing slung about his waist like a sporran, then tripped over the steps backward and fell on his butt. 

Maul giggled again as the poor pilot who tried to help him up just got his crotch grabbed for his kindness. 

“What a laugh if I should fall and snap a horn before I even get there. Good thing I have more.” With this quip, Maul scrambled up into the cab and hung most of his upper torso out the window.

“I wish you’d snap your dumb prick off,” screamed Khi’to stamping his feet in fury. Maul laughed, 

“Oh, shut up, you’re just jealous because mine has tentacles rather than smelly ol’ pubic hair growing ‘round it.”

The Mistress giggled and hugged her favorite. 

“Now, my yarum seed,” she cooed. “You be sure and take every opportunity of enjoying yourself and I’ve packed six tubes of lube and nine coupons for more and the cure-all pills if you catch anything nasty by mistake.” 

Maul nodded vigorously. The taxi zipped off with Maul waving crazily until it went through the Creche gate and the stone pillar connected with the back of Maul’s head with a dull thud. 

He waved some more but not always in their exact direction. It was then that Jah’nne and Master Yoda idly wondered aloud what that thing was about Maul’s waist. Obi-Wan realized with horror that Maul had kept to his original idea and was now not only sporting a genuine dug-hide merkin, but the brat had not been wearing any pants. 

That night Obi-Wan was making ready for bed, when he made the final discovery. Maul had also made off with most of Obi-Wan’s good underwear and, sadly enough, his lovely red jammies.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth universally acknowledged that a lone Jedi Master of the Highest Order must be in want of a Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various .  
> Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.  
>  Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem? Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

The Seven Ancient Jedi Mysteries

 

Padawan Bath

Moonlit Cloaking Meditation

Knight’s Kiss

Double Sky Levitation Lesson

Massage Meditation of the Master

Pressed Meditation

Leading the Padawan on the Jedi Path Hand-Hold

 

Barely a week later and both Obi-Wan and Jah’nne heard the whirring of the shuttle and rushed out to the gate to open both sides wide. Just like the last time they came to visit, Obi-Wan was practically hopping up and down as the doors opened.

“Hello! Hello!”

Obi-Wan and Jah’nne rushed forward to greet their favorite Aunt and Uncle. As always, Obi-Wan flung himself on his knees to embrace Aunt Yaddle and rose to stand on tiptoe to kiss Uncle Yarael. Jah’nne snatched up their bags and rushed in, before HI-55 could get out the door. The droid then busied itself with hurrying to tell the rest of the family their guests had arrived.

“Obi-Bunnie,” Auntie said gently, “We have a little bad news.”

“My fault entirely.” Uncle added in. Obi-Wan looked worriedly from on to the other.

“We will not be able to have the time to see all that we wanted on Coruscant and we must leave both Bespin and Kashyyyk for another time,” Auntie explained in her soft voice. “I have been called out on a mission and then Yaeral will be teaching at the Academy.”

Obi-Wan was downcast a moment then remembered that he was still going to spend time with his favorite relatives and they were wonderful traveling companions. He smiled and shrugged as Uncle Yaerel put his long, thin arm about Obi’s shoulders and squeezed comfortingly.

“Well . . . at least we get to go and I’m sure Coruscant has many pleasures to been seen on it.”

Auntie nodded eagerly. “Indeed child! You will be able decide for yourself whether Chatsworth Shopping Mall is the equal of Blenheim’s on Aldaraan and that nothing ever built can compare with the beauty of the Republic Senate Rotunda.

 

Obi-Wan sighed happily as they settled back in the air-taxi. He was pooped out completely from shopping. He had been overwhelmed and dazzled by Chatsworth Shopping Mall. It was the size of a small continent and boasted itself as such. They had spent three days in the swanky hotel there and had gloried in the shops every day. 

Obi-Wan had found wonderful presents for all his Creche-mates and his Mistress. He was especially happy that he had found for his beloved Master, in a precious stone very exclusive shop, a small rock that he could easily feel the Force-emanations coming from. He had also found a small cape that was warm and practical for Master Yoda as well as several down-loads of Wookie, Ewok and Phuii poetry. 

His Mistress would now be supplied with various perfumes, face-frames, some with extensive beading and lace not to mention a wonderful new pad designed for better reception from newsvendors from all over the Republic. 

Obi-Wan had considered carefully what to get Maullie. He had considered getting some red jammies but decided that would be best left unspoken of. He ended up with an expentive gift certificate to “Rattle, Wiggle and Bounce” the famous pleasure supply store. Obi-Wan had blushed and stared at the floor the entire time he was in that store. Half the things he couldn’t even recognize, the rest he really didn’t want to know about. 

Khi’to was easily taken care of with candy, weird plant seeds and several fascinating puzzles. 

Fas-Ok would be delighted with the holovids on Republic history and a highly sensitive aeromagnifier especially adapted for reading.

Jah’nne had been a little more difficult. Obi-Wan found several beautiful ribbons and in one store he spent neary two standard hours picking out musical selections that she had hunted in vain for or were in a style he knew she loved. All these things as well as his travel luggage were now in the air-taxi. 

Uncle had stated that they were heading to a small sub-Temple that was closed to instruction. Both he and Yaddle spent a couple of years as initiates there and wished to spend some time at the old place. It was was very small, Obi-Wan was told, and was know by its builders name as that being had rendered it both impossibly small but wonderfully intricate. Thus to the Lam’tonn Temple they were bound.

After a happy yawn and snuggling down next to his uncle, Obi-Wan asked what the local wonders there consisted of. His surprise and anxiousness were great when the air-taxi pilot informed him that it was not five standard miles from the Main Jedi Temple and Academy on Coruscant. 

It was to his further distress that his aunt and uncle told him that they had booked a special individual tour especially for him at that very Temple the day after tomorrow!


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth universally acknowledged that a lone Jedi Master of the Highest Order must be in want of a Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various.   
> Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.  
>  Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem? Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Obi-Wan looked up at the huge edifice that was the Jedi Academy as the air-taxi slowed. Even within the close confines of the cab he could feel the ripples of the Force sliding through him. He was feeling a little bit more comfortable as the young Knight who had opened the sub-Temple for them last night had assured them the tour would be ready and answered Obi’s seeming idle questions that yes, Master Jinn was the Master Trainer there. Yes, indeed, he had trained two Padawans already but no, he was away on a mission and would not be at the Temple. 

Master Yoda had asked that Obi-Wan dress in initiate formals if they went to any Temples and that afternoon before he left with Auntie and Uncle, Obi-Wan had dressed carefully in his formal initiate whites and had donned the traditional half veil that clipped to his hood and only his eyes peeped out at the world through a web of fine net. He was happy as no one could recognize him and but the eye and face veil meant he was forbidden to speak unless his Aunt and Uncle saw fit to remove the veils. Both seemed a little surprised when they saw him attired thus but did not press him as to why.

The guided tour consisted of themselves and their two Padawan guides who Obi-Wan guessed to be about his age. They did not seem as strong in the Force as he expected them to be. They, in turn, stared at him as though they had never seen an initiate before. The female guide was a humanoid called Hunt and her twin brother was the other guide and he was called Pehkk. 

Auntie introduced the young people. Instead of the easy-going bow that was used among the initiates and trainers on Naboo, Obi-Wan chose the slightly more formal and ornate bow and palms-open greeting. He knew Master Yoda would have wanted him to behave this way but it seemed to puzzle the two Padawan who hurriedly performed their formal Padawan bows but seemed to lack practice. Obi-Wan remembered that Master Yoda had often complained that the Senate had been deriding the Jedi Order for too much formality. He wondered that a Master like Jinn would give in to such nagging.

The two Padawans led the way into the wonderful building. Obi-Wan sighed with pleasure as the old Force-shadows of the great Masters curled about him. He could feel their presences and their love for their trainees. Many of those who were now one with the Force had chosen to remain here and care for those who continued their sacred tradition. 

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and reached out with his feelings. He was jerked back into himself with shock at the fact that the two Padawan leading them were doing quite a poor job of shielding their feelings. The young male was opening lusting after him but Obi-Wan sensed that because of the veil Pehkk assumed that he was female. Hunt was interested but slightly put-off as she candidly thought he was a snot because he had not spoken to either of them. Obi-Wan turned and sent a pleading look and thought to his relatives. Aunt Yaddle gently reminded the two that they should shield themselves properly. 

Pehkk chuckled, “What a sensitive little initiate. That’s really special. But then you’re special, aren’t you.”   
His shoulder rubbed lightly against Obi-Wan’s and smiled very fetchingly. Obi-Wan had about six inches of height on the other and yet this young man was treating him as though he was some sort of delicate foreign princess. Obi-Wan turned his head, he knew that the veil hid his laughter but he had to slide his hand up to cover his mouth or he would not have been able to contain himself. He sent a merry glance to his uncle who closed his lips and widened his eyes playfully. 

Obi-Wan turned his attention to Hunt, who had brought them into the Main Hall of the building. Obi-Wan looked about in delight. It was stone and enclosed but the effect was one of great light and airiness. There were many tiny glass ovals all throughout the roof and upper wall. The sunlight poured in from morning to nightfall. There slanting rays danced along the wall which were raw stone but many gossamer banners and streamers hung from the ceiling down. These caught the light and any metallic filaments with which many had woven in caught the brightness and the ancient symbols and Runes of the Jedi Order seemed to float and romp among the filmy gossamer clouds. 

All seemed without artificial appearance, neither formal nor falsely over done. Obi-Wan had never seen a place for which nature had done more or where natural beauty had been so little counteracted by an awkward taste. At that moment he truly felt it would indeed be a wonder and an honor to be Padawan apprentice to Master Jinn.

Hunt, after noting the hall was real old, led them into the main dining hall. The meal was finished and thus the hall quite empty. It was a large, well-proportioned room, handsomely fitted up. Obi-Wan after slightly surveying it went to the long windows all along the far side of the wall.

Hunt crossed to his side pointing out that these windows gave a fine prospect of the walking areas and meditation gardens. The small hill area was crowned with a beautiful wood. In fact, every disposition of the grounds was good. There was a small river, the trees overhung and scattered along its banks and the winding area as far as he could see from this angle. Obi-Wan turned and looked about the room again and from the open door saw equally well-appointed studies and classrooms. 

He shook his head in soft amazement, thinking, And in all this I could have served its Master. With these rooms I might now have been familiarly acquainted, instead of viewing them as a stranger. I might have rejoiced in being a part of them and welcomed my fellow Creche-mates . . . 

He shook his head, remembering Jinn’s opinion of his training and Creche. No, his Creche, his beloved Master Yoda, would all be lost to him. It was a lucky thing he could remind himself of that fact as he was bordering on becoming rather despondent.

He longed to ask the guide whether the Master was truly absent but was bound to silence by his veil. At length however Uncle asked and Hunt confirmed that he was indeed away but the Temple expected him to arrive back tomorrow. It seemed that his mission had gone remarkably well and he was able to return earlier. 

Obi-Wan felt queasy, they had barely missed him! He took calming breaths then Auntie called him to a small display table. Obi-Wan approached and immediately saw a small hologram of Palpatine. Hunt came over and explain that he had been a Padawan whose noble father had done a great deal for the Temple and the young man had been briefly trained by Master Jinn. The council had cast him out though as apparently he had turned and become a Sith. Pehkk pointed to another. 

“And that one is our Master Jinn. It was formed about eight months ago.”

“You saw him last, Obi-Bunnie, is it a close image?” Auntie asked. Obi-Wan didn’t know how to react. Just then, Uncle Yaerel leaned in and plucked away the lower face veil. Obi-Wan face was still slightly shrouded by the white net but his uncle had given him leave to speak now.

“Well?” Auntie asked.   
B  
oth Padawans looked at him, Hunt asking, “You’ve met Master Jinn Initiate?”

Obi-Wan just nodded, he didn’t trust his voice and he could feel himself blushing and was grateful for the thin veil left to him. Hunt giggled.

“Don’t you think he’s handsome, Initiate?” 

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow and realized that Hunt was laboring under the same delusion Pehkk was that he was a girl. He steadied himself and answered in his usual soft tone,

“Yes, Padawan, very handsome.” 

Both Padawans gawped at the low cultured tone of a distinctly male voice. Pehkk turned scarlet, banked away muttering to himself. Hunt’s eyes got huge then she recovered herself as she tried in vain not to giggle at her brother. 

Their guides led them onward to some other areas mostly class rooms and meditation rooms. Uncle Yaerel asked if Sabè would be joining the Academy soon. 

“Oh yeah!” Both Padawan enthused. “She’s very Force sensitive and she studies most of the day. The latest classroom is painted in meditation runes for her when she begins. She’s actually coming with him to start lessons tomorrow.”

Auntie glanced about again.

“Master Jinn is about much here?” She motioned Obi-Wan to kneel and removed his net veil and hood, patted his cheek and he rose once more. His hair braided back in a club away from his face. He felt more at ease with the Padawans and they regarded him with a modicum of friendliness and no little curiosity. Hunt answered Master Yaddle with,

“Not as much as we’d all like him to, Master.”

“How very much to your credit to say such things, Padawan Hunt,” Uncle teased. The young woman blushed and shook the curls that topped her Padawan cut. 

“It’s the truth. I think pretty much every padwan in the Temple would agree with me. He is a wonderful teacher. I’ve been to his classes and never receive a word of coldness or criticism that made me feel bad about myself. And I’ve done some stupid things.”

Obi-Wan thought this was astonishing and opposite most of all the conclusions he had drawn and observed. That he had not been a good tempered man had been Obi-Wan’s firmest opinion. His keenest attention was awakened, he longed to hear more. Fortunately Uncle Yaeral smiled, commenting, 

“There are few true Masters and teachers for whom so much can be said. You are lucky to have such a Temple Master.”

Pehkk nodded, “Yes, Master, we both know. If we were to go through the universe we couldn’t meet with better. You learn to observe that those who are gentle-natured with the very young are often the best diplomats. He has always been the favorite teacher here at the Temple.”

Obi-Wan stared at them, wondering if this was the same Master Jinn.

“The Former Master Trainer of this Temple and Jinn’s former Master is a truly excellent teacher as well.”

“Yes, Master, so we have all heard and if that is so then Master Jinn has truly taken all his Master’s teachings to heart.”

Obi-Wan listened, wondered, doubted and was impatient for more. Hunt and Pehkk could interest him on no other point. They related the subjects of the decorations, the dimensions of rooms and the history behind them in vain. Uncle Yaeral made another comment concerning Master Jinn and both readily agreed.   
“He really is the best. It doesn’t matter if its the littlest child from the Creche or a fellow Master. Everyone just loves him.”   
Hunt paused then, said slowly, “I’ve hear that some people would call him proud or arrogant. But we’ve never seen anything like that. I suppose he must remain apart when working in the field.

What an amiable light does this place on him! thought Obi-Wan. Such a fine account and completely inconsistent with what Palpatine said of him. Oh, how truly deceived I was.

On reaching a spacious open area near the highest part of the Temple there was the presently unused High Council chamber with its gorgeous mosaics on the floors and the semi-circular window that looked out over the tallest skyscrapers on Coruscant. 

As they then descended the stairs their guides pointed out items of interest, but it was some time before Obi-Wan was sensible of any of it. His thoughts were with Master Jinn. He longed to know what was passing through the Master’s mind, in what manner the Master may think of him, and whether in defiance of every thing, Obi-Wan was still desirable as an apprentice. All the things the Padawans said were not trifles. They were true in their love and meant their words to carry it. 

They were lead to the practice rooms. And Obi-Wan vaguely noticed the gymnasium and sparring areas. He wandered to the far side and saw beyond some glass that there was a beautiful tub of water that steamed and bubbled ready and waiting to sooth tired muscles and wash the sweat from practice.   
He smiled thinking that if he had accepted Master Jinn, he and Pehkk and Hunt would have sparred together then retired here, laughing and talking to their hearts content. He pushed open the door and looked in. It was pleasantly scented and comforting. 

A door next to him opened from the changing area and, clad only in a towel slung carelessly over his shoulder, was Master Jinn. 

Obi-Wan gulped staring at the Master. Master Jinn did a double take and managed to say.

“Initiate Kenobi.”

“Master Jinn . . . ” Obi-Wan stumbled, “I - I greet you in peace, Master- I - I - The Padawans assured us you were away. I did not expect to see you . . . ” 

Obi-Wan’s gaze travelled unchecked down the Master’s tall rangy but muscular body. His chest was broad and the nipples were darker tan and wide. A scraping of curly hair ran from beneath his nipples and slid narrowly down over his belly to his crotch where those curls blossomed about a cock of considerable dimensions. Obi-Wan tore his eyes from that entrancing piece of flesh and tried to figure out what to say next.

“I arrived a day early.” Jinn’s voice sounded slightly strained. “I . . . I hope your trainer is well.”

“Yes, Master Jinn . . . Yes, he is . . . um . . . ”

“How long have you been on Coruscant?’

“But a week, sir . . . ”

“Where’re you staying?”

“The Sub-Temple at Lam’tonn, Master.”

“Aaah . . . ” Jinn toyed with his towel then continued rather conversationally, “I’ve just got back myself. So tell me, your Creche-mates they are all well and your trainer . . . ?” 

Jinn colored slightly as Obi-Wan bowed his head mumbling that ‘yes, everyone was fine’ and Jinn realized this was the second time he’d asked about them. Obi-Wan stared at his feet helpless to say anything else. Master Jinn cleared his throat. 

“Excuse me, Initiate.”

Obi-Wan, mortified, bowed deeply, cursing himself that he had not bowed to the Master at the beginning and now he was standing gawking while the Master wished to relax and clean himself.

He fled through to the sparring area, stumbling to his relative’s sides. Aunt Yaddle looked up as did Uncle Yaeral,

“Ah, the Master himself.” Uncle commented.

“And as handsome as his hologram.” offered Aunt Yaddle, then cocked her head, “although a little less formally attired.”

That said, Obi-Wan could not keep his countenance, his emotions, his head or any other part of his anatomy in order. He managed a strangled cry,

“We must leave here at once.” He turned and rushed for the main hall which led to the landing pad.

“If you wish . . . ” Yaddle called after her fleeing charge.

“Oh! I wish we’d never come!” Obi-Wan cried, he was so ashamed and embarrassed and turned on. 

“Force! What will he think of me?!?” he wailed.

“Why? What did he say to you?” Yaddle called. Obi-Wan could hear her tiny feet pattering at high speed behind him and the tip-tapping of Uncle’s longer clawed toes.

“Nothing of consequence. He asked after my Creche and Trainer!” Obi-Wan nearly sobbed, flapping his hands about in helplessness. 

Obi-Wan gasped the turgid city air as he reached the landing pad and hurried toward the air-taxi waiting there.

“Initiate Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan shuddered at the sound of the familiar voice and forced himself to turn and face a fully dressed Master Jinn, who had gained the landing pad by the other exit.

“You are not leaving, Initiate?”

Obi-Wan bowed his head in shame, “Yes, Master, I think I must.”

“Doesn’t the Temple please you, Initiate?”

Obi-Wan closed his eyes. He deserved this quiet comment that was as testing as any other. He stopped, bowed deeply and respectfully then turned to look up at the Master with burning eyes.

“It pleases me greatly, Master Jinn. I’m sure there are few, if any, who would not be pleased.”

“Then you approve of it?”

Obi-Wan looked at his feet again, he had to answer honestly. 

“Yes, Master. Very much.”

“Good. For your good opinion is rarely bestowed and therefore more worth the earning.”

Tears blinded Obi-Wan as the Master’s words bit into his heart. What a pompous little fool he was. He didn’t deserve to be a Jedi. He would tell Master Yoda so when he returned to the Creche. He decided that tomorrow he would ask his aunt and uncle to take him to the university here so he could apply.

“Initiate, will you introduce me to your chaperons?”

Obi-Wan hurried to his relative’s side and swallowed carefully.

“This is my aunt, Master Yaddle and her Bond-mate, my uncle Yaeral Poof . . . .”

Obi-Wan thought only of his Creche-mates at this point. “My Creche-mate Jah’nne stayed with them when she was last on Coruscant, they reside in Che’psiddhe, Master Jinn”

Master Jinn was already smiling, “I thought it was you two! Master Yaddle, Master Poof, it is wonderful to meet with you again. I had no idea you had taken Initiate Kenobi under your care.”

“He is visiting us,” Yaddle said gently, “This is his first visit to the capitol” 

Obi-Wan stared at his feet, wishing that the landing pad would swallow him. What a callow untrained little beast Jinn would think him now.

“Did you have time to see the newly-grown mediation garden?” Obi-Wan suddenly heard Jinn asking.

Yaddle and Poof chorused ‘no’ and were then eager to walk in them. Jinn and Yaeral led the way. Obi-Wan came with his aunt. 

“A fine man, don’t you think Obi-Bunnie?”

Obi-Wan sighed, “In all honestly Auntie, I think I want to go home and be eaten by a colo claw fish.” 

Auntie chuckled, reached up and squeezed his hand.

They came out into the gardens. Obi-Wan was so charmed by the surroundings he forgot himself and just looked about in delight and wonder. Yaddle drew forward to stand with Yaeral and they talked together quietly. Obi-Wan looked about in joy. Suddenly there was a large presence near him.

“Um . . . I - I . . . er -” he tried. Master Jinn cleared his throat, 

“Please continue, Initiate Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan decided that he should make a clean breast of this.

“Again let me say, sir, that we fully understood that you were not in the Temple. If we had known you to be here I would never have invaded your privacy. I’m so sorry . . . I . . . ”

Master Jinn actually gave a rueful chuckle.   
“Think nothing of it. I fully intended to remain away until tomorrow but I discovered that there, were a few things here that I had to prepare for in person. So I came on ahead of my friends. They will join me here tomorrow.”

Master Jinn gestured Obi-Wan to walk with him. Obi-Wan folded his arms traditionally and walked forward as mindfully as possible which, under the circumstances, was not at all. Yaddle and Yaeral stopped to chat with another old friend and Obi-Wan went forward with Master Jinn. 

He was so nervous he was shaking, worse yet, all he could think about was how well Master Jinn had looked with nothing on. Master Jinn continued,

“Among that party tomorrow are those whom you have already met.”

Obi-Wan looked questioningly at him.

“It is Master Windu, Mas Amedda and the Neimoidians.’

“Oh,” managed Obi-Wan. Master Windu would be nice to see again the others he could do without.

“There is one other person in the party whom I should like you to meet.” Obi-Wan looked up at Jinn, the Master gazed at him seriously. “I’d like to introduce you to my ward, but if you would prefer otherwise . . . ”

“I . . . I would be happy to make her acquaintance,” Obi-Wan stated quietly, wondering at this gentle change in Jinn. 

They reached the landing pad once more. Jinn offered to sit with him in a lounge while they waited for Obi-Wan’s relatives but Obi-Wan knew he would never be able to sit still. He mumbled a polite refusal. 

Time, Yaddle and Yaeral moved slowly. Obi-Wan felt horribly out of place with the tall, famous Master standing beside him. He suddenly recalled that he had been traveling and tried to tell Master Jinn what he had been up to but since it was mostly shopping he was quickly miserable with that subject. 

Master Jinn knew the shops well and asked him if he had had the good fortune of stopping and admiring the merchandise in the precious stone shop. They had an enthusiastic discussion about it, including a few tips on recognizing Force-Empowered rocks, and then to Obi-Wan’s great relief, his aunt and uncle arrived on the scene. Master Jinn pressed them to stay and rest awhile, as it was nearly time for the Padawans to pause in their studies for the mid-afternoon repose.

Neither the chaperons nor the chaperoned wanted refreshment. Master Jinn asked them to return to the Temple anytime convenient as they were all more welcome there. Yaeral solicitously helped Yaddle with her robe. 

To Obi-Wan’s shock, Master Jinn plucked the veil from Obi-Wan’s waistband and placed it upon the initiate’s hair. He was about to cover the young man’s face, when something in his eyes softened and he leaned down and softly kissed Obi-Wan on his mouth. Obi-Wan paused and savored the warmth against his lips and stared up at the Master. Jinn merely placed the veil, drew up his hood and replaced the full half veil. He took Obi-Wan’s hand in his large, calloused warm one and settled him in the taxi. 

The vehicle pulled away. Obi-Wan looked back and watched the figure of Master Jinn and the Temple grow smaller as they sped away. The warm taste of Master Jinn’s mouth on his lips lingered like a forgotten pleasure.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth universally acknowledged that a lone Jedi Master of the Highest Order must be in want of a Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various.   
> Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.  
>  Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem? Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

\----------> It's gettin' mushy around here!!

 

The Seven Ancient Jedi Mysteries

 

Padawan Bath

Moonlit Cloaking Meditation

√ Knight’s Kiss

Double Sky Levitation Lesson

Massage Meditation of the Master

Pressed Meditation

√ Leading the Padawan on the Jedi Path Hand-Hold.

 

Obi-Wan walked mindfully in the smaller gardens of the sub-Temple. He had rather a lot on his little initiate mind right now. He had spent most of the night in earnest meditation. He was terrified, happy, wildly excited and a bit sleepy. 

He wanted to send a holovid to Jah’nne but didn’t want anyone else in the Creche to know as the Mysteries had been Jah’nne and his secret knowledge. They vaguely knew that they had forbidden information. Oh, how he wanted to tell Jah’nne that Master Jinn was testing him as a potential Padawan. He had already given Obi-Wan the Knights Kiss and a rather condensed form of The Leading the Padawan on the Jedi Path Hand-Hold. He realized that this meant that Jinn was still seriously considering asking him to bond as Padawan. He was trying to figure out how he felt about this. He knew that Jinn was a good teacher, his record, though inclined to be in favor of risk and action, was excellent. He reasoned that he could not choose a better Master to hold a training bond with.

Dawn and further musings and meditations this morning yielded deeper emotions. He understood that his fascination with Jinn ran deeper. He knew himself to be teetering on the brink of falling in love with Jinn. He was troubled by this realization. It would not bode well for a training bond especially, seeing that Jinn would never share his feelings. He still assumed that Jinn and Windu had a light emotional bond that would give them all the friendly or sexual companionship they would ever require. A Jedi’s life was often a lonely one. Many trainers and young Knights had gently told him that. 

The second part of his concern came from his experience in sexual relationships. All of them were drawn from the couples he knew and or saw bonded. The Padawan who had told Jah’nne who had then told him about the mysteries was a simple Padawan apprentice, no more. He had seen many initiates become consorts to senators who promised much in the way of training but those with whom Obi had kept in touch with had invariably become tied up with the business of being in the senate. I’Ole was a prime example. As a consort you were always at the senators sexual command, for the senator’s own private use or as a favor to friends and would-be supporters. Obi-Wan did not want to be a sexual commodity. He had no first hand experience but had attended senatorial parties on Naboo with other initiates and seen Maul do things that made him sick to his stomach to watch. 

One particular night after he, Khi’to and Maul had attended one such party, Obi-Wan had retired to his bed at the hosting Creche and sobbed his heart out at the horror he had witnessed but not been allowed by the party’s hosts to stop. A horror called “Mizting” He was still crying when Maul crept to his bedside and laughed at him. The younger seated himself there and went into great detail about what exactly could be shoved up bipedal species orifices and what it would feel like and how much blood to expect. That particular party had gotten Maul banned from visiting members of six Creches after it came out that one of the young senators who had been ‘mizted’ that night later died in hospital of rectal bleeding and severe infection caused by squid mold. Two others had also been hospitalized but survived. One quit politics altogether to pursue life as a religious aesthetic and the other spent two years in a sanitorium and was on medication for the rest of his life from the trauma. 

These were the things that preyed upon young Obi-Wan’s mind when the young knight who was caring for the Temple while they were there suddenly leaned over the bridge to peer down at him from his perch on a rock in the middle of a running stream.

“There you are, Initiate Kenobi, I’ve been looking for you everywhere. You’re awfully good at shielding yourself, you know!” 

Obi-Wan smiled managed to bow from his awkward position and thanked the knight for his kindness. The knight brushed this aside with his news

“Two Masters and an Initiate have arrived here and have been waiting for you about fifteen standard minutes.” The Knight grinned at him, saying, “One of the Masters is Master Jinn!”

Obi-Wan felt his knees tremble slightly. 

“Please tell them I am coming in directly. Thank you for coming to find me.” 

The knight smiled and disappeared back into the small Temple. Obi-Wan gathered the little bouquet of windfall blossoms he had picked up to dry for HI-55 so that she could scent her internal self-cleaning lubrication bath. He hurried back into the Temple and came into the main foyer.

There standing in the middle of the room was Master Jinn. The tall man was every inch the formidable Jedi Master. Obi-Wan felt his heart sink at the sight, as he inwardly berated himself for the thousandth time for being so foolish and naive as to listen to Palpatine. 

He bowed respectfully and forced himself to speak.

“Master Jinn, I am sorry to have kept you waiting so long.”

The Master smiled and the sunlight dappled against the far wall and danced on all the ornaments in the room.

“I hope we did not interrupt your studies, Initiate.”

“Oh, no, Master. I had paused in my meditating and was merely . . . er . . . enjoying the day.”

Master Jinn gave him a look that was just like the one he had given Obi-Wan before performing the Knight’s Kiss upon him last night. Obi-Wan swallowed and reached into the Force for serenity. Master Jinn turned slightly and held out his hand to someone else who had been standing in the alcove near the glass doors.

“Initiate Kenobi, may I present my ward, Initiate Sabè Naberrie. Sabè, this is Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan lifted his chin a little. He had heard that this initiate was accomplished and strong in the Force from many, but he had also heard that she was proud. He bowed formally as to another initiate. It was gracefully returned.

“Initiate Sabé,” he said politely, “I greet you in peace.”

“I return it . . . er the peace . . . er . . . of your greeting.”

She gritted her teeth slightly. Obi-Wan could see she was cursing herself for screwing up the formal greeting. He hurriedly covered. 

“I hear you are fond of the lightsaber and spar very well.”

She widened her eyes at his smile. Master Jinn spoke again, 

“Master Windu is also with us and would very much like to see you again, Initiate. May I call him ?”

“Yes!” Obi-Wan managed. “I would be honored to meet with him again.”

Master Jinn went out and Obi-Wan turned to Sabé again. He smiled, waiting for her to respond. She blushed a little, 

“Not very well. But . . . I am fond of sparring. My Guardian says he has rarely seen anything that gave him a greater challenge than your techniques with the lightsaber.”

It was Obi-Wan’s turn to blush. 

“Initiate, I wouldn’t wish to excite your senses. I think your Guardian has greatly exaggerated my talents no doubt for some mischievous reason of his own.”

“Oh no. My Guardian never exaggerates!” Sabé stepped closer to him. “He always tells the absolute truth . . . Although I think he is too kind to me.”

“An ideal family member? ”Obi-Wan smiled. 

Sabé returned his smile warmly this time. 

“Oh yes. I could not wish for better.”

Obi-Wan smiled, noting that she was not proud at all, she was only exceedingly shy. Sabé was small and about sixteen years old. Her figure was formed and her appearance humanoid and graceful. She was not as handsome as some of the girls her age on Naboo of Obi-Wan’s acquaintance like Rabé, Eirtaé, Saché and Yané but she was well-looking. He replied with a laugh,

“You make me quite jealous. I was brought up in a Creche with a trainer, a Housekeeper and four other initiates.”

“I would have liked to be Creche-mate to another initiate.” Sabé smiled sweetly at him. Just then the door opened and Mace Windu walked in and straight up to Obi-Wan. 

“Initiate Kenobi! How wonderful to find you not five standard miles from the Academy. How are you?” 

The large man smiled as Obi-Wan bowed low. The dark-skinned Master’s eyes crinkled good-humoredly as he pinched Obi-Wan’s chin. 

“I can see your well. It has been too long since I last saw you.”

“Indeed, Master I believe it is nearly four standard Months since we last spoke.”

“More like six, Initiate. I have not had the pleasure of your company since we were last sparring together at NethaTheed.”

Sabé nodded to both and slipped away to speak with her guardian.

“Tell me Initiate Kenobi,” Master Windu smiled. “Are all your Creche-mates still at Lün’b’urne?”

Obi-Wan couldn’t stop himself from saying, “All but one Master,” then pausing. Windu’s eyebrow went up and Obi-Wan smiled saying, “My youngest Creche-mate is being a social secretary on Hoth.” 

Master looked at him for a moment then swallowed whatever it was that he had planned on saying. He smiled slightly then cleared his throat. 

“I cannot recall a happier time then when we were all together at NethaTheed. Naboo is a charming planet. I am surprised that you came to the city at all.”

“My Aunt and Uncle invited me and I have never been before. There are many things to see and so much history. The Senate, the Temple, of course, the University.” Obi-Wan blushed. That one was not suppose to get out. Master Windu raised and eyebrow but made no further comment on the subject. 

Just then, Sabé returned to Obi-Wan’s side.

“Initiate Kenobi, would you and your aunt and uncle join us at the Temple tomorrow afternoon?”

Obi-Wan had a quick think then smiled openly at Sabé. 

“Thank you, you are very kind. I can answer for my aunt and uncle. We have no plans that afternoon.”

“And will you demonstrate lightsaber sparring for us?” Sabé’s eyes brightened. 

Obi-Wan grinned at her. 

“If you wish it, then of course.”

 

Obi-Wan was still thinking about his guests the next day as he took a transport downtown. His relatives had seen no reason why he could not go to the main senate quadrangle himself. He wore his Initiate whites and the net veil. Both his relatives suggested that he leave off the full half veil, so that he would be able to converse if necessary. He had not been specific about what he was going to do. He knew Yaddle and Yaeral had the utmost faith in him but he didn’t want them to know he was looking at the university. 

He sighed softly. He was one and twenty now. He must be mindful of the future. He could not stay in the Creche indefinitely. True, Master Yoda was the only family he had ever known. He knew nothing of his own family or background. He had, according to the Mistress, been left on Yoda’s door step, encased in a reed basket with a touching note asking the finder to care for him. HI-55 and the Housekeeper had different versions of just how long it had taken Yoda to undo the reeds to get him out, but the thing was that Yoda, he felt, loved him and would never stop loving him no matter what he did.

He had to make something of himself if he could not be chosen as a Jedi. He spent a great deal of time talking to the admissions councelor who, when she heard about and tested his background, was very excited about his matriculating. She was happy to download all kinds of information into a datapad for him.

He also had a little time to see something of the library there, too. He slowly descended the university’s steps thinking hard about all he had seen and learned.

“Initiate Kenobi?” 

He turned and there was Padawan Hunt. They bowed to each other and she came closer.

“I didn’t think to see you before this afternoon. Sabé told us you were coming and joining us for practice. So why are you hanging about in this dump?” 

She gesured the University building. Obi-Wan loooked up at it. If only he had been chosen . . . 

He sighed and turned and said to Hunt,

“I am one and twenty now. I cannot live on the bounty of my Creche trainer for the rest of my life. If I am not chosen to be a Padawan I must make my own way.”

Hunt stared at him in open-mouthed disbelief, then she looked sad and touched his arm.

“Please promise me you won’t give up yet, Obi-Bunnie.”

Obi-Wan drew away from her and said quietly. “My name is Obi-Wan. Bunnie is a family nickname, not a general one.” 

Hunt stared at him, speechless. 

He bowed regally, “I look forward to see you and your brother this afternoon, Padawan.” 

He turned on his heel and headed back to the transport station to return to the sub-Temple. He wished that he hadn’t spoken quite so harshly to Padawan Hunt but he couldn’t bear to have any one outside of his Creche and family call him Obi-Bunnie. It was special.

He sifted through the data pads as he rode the transport, oblivious to the many others staring openly at him and his old-fashioned garb.

 

Later, Yaddle and Yaeral were putting on their cloaks when he came downstairs. He was rather embarrassed. Normally it didn’t take him three standard hours to clean and dress himself but for some ridiculous reason everything had just taken so much time. He had dressed in his proper initiate whites but he had also tried on every single tunic and shirt he had brought with him or purchased. He knew he would be sparring but also spending time with social groups. He had starch-greased his hair so that it would at least look well no matter what he got himself into.

His whites were so white they could put out an eye. He had recharged his saber twice and polished the shaft until it shone. He had re-wrapped his legging ten times at least and they were perfectly symetrical. The soles of his floor shoes had also been polished. He had meditated most of last night and he was alert, awake and nervous as a freshly-shaven bantha. He must have peed at least fourteen times in the last standard hour.

The air-taxi ride seemed like hours but they were there all too soon. The Temple was still imposing but at least it was now somewhat familiar. Master Windu met them along with Sabé, Pehkk and Hunt. Sabé immediately dragged Obi to the practice area. Hunt and Pehkk tore after them, calling for more of their friends to come along as they raced along the ancient hallways. Suddenly Obi-Wan felt very much at home. 

 

The hot, roiling water felt so good. Obi-Wan pillowed his head on his folded arms. He must have sparred with every Padawan over the age of sixteen and a few Knights who had stopped to watch the fun. Obi-Wan was quite pleased with himself. He had only been bested twice and both times by one Knight, though he rather berated himself for being inattentive at the bout. They had been quite a noisy group by the time the Master in charge of the gymnasium decided that it was time for Obi-Wan to rest. Hunt and Pehkk had shown Obi-Wan through to the changing room where Obi-Wan silently marveled at the fresher for clothing. HI-55 spent hours doing their washing and pressing. He wondered if the droid would like one of them just to take an edge off her busy day.

He tried not to let his astonishment show when he first saw it working. He didn’t want the others to take him for a back-water simpleton. He had hoped that at least they would know that when it came to lightsaber duelling and the use of the Force, he was fully at and, in many ways, above their level.

They had flopped in here to sit in the very tub he had admired the other day when he was here for the first time. Alone for he had chosen to stay as one by one the others left to dress for other classes and activities. He relaxed further as it felt wonderful.

Suddenly he was painfully hauled bodily out of the water and dropped on the cold tiles beside the tub.

“W . . . w . . . what?” He stammered and peered about. Master Jinn was rolling him onto his back.

“Obi-Wan? Are you all right?” 

There was a note of concern in the Master’s voice which confused Obi-Wan further. He tried to struggle to his feet but his body felt as though it was made of limp noodles and he couldn’t get his muscles to cooperate.

“Here. You’ve been in there too long.” The Master told him gently. “Let me help you to the sauna and see if we can get you back to normal.”

“Cantgeddup . . . ” Obi-Wan managed to gurgle.

The Master made a soothing noise and lifted him easily. Obi-Wan looked about sleepily and saw that he was being carried back into another room. This was a very warm room and the walls were windowless and made of sweet-smelling wood. The floor and ceiling were of stone. 

A small brazier flickered in the center. Master Jinn placed him on a wide high bench and turned to the brazier, tossing aside his creamy tunic and soft cloth indoor boots. He reached for something beside the brazier and then poured a libation over the red-hot stones. Obi-Wan wondered if the water was also perfumed and held himself ready. This was obviously a silent and sacred ceremony he was about to be taught. He was as attentive as his water-logged brain would allow.

Jinn fetched something else, tossed a clean towel across his broad shoulders and returned to Obi-Wan’s side. He poured something from a small green glass carafe and rubbed what was obviously oil over his large calloused hands. Obi-Wan watched and turned onto his belly when Jinn motioned him to.

Obi-Wan was all curiousity now. He nearly jumped out of his skin when the large hands gently but powerfully landed on his shoulders. There was a smooth motion, then Jinn began to put some strength behind his hands. Obi-Wan knew he was being tested once more. 

This time Master Jinn had chosen the Mystery of the “Massage Meditation of the Master”. Obi-Wan flung his senses into the Force and centered himself. He was prepared for anything the Master might ask him to consider.

“How does this feel?” Jinn’s low voice rumbled in his ear. Now he knew what his meditation should center on. He closed his eyes and slid into a deep trance, trusting the Master to shield him and provide any guidance he might require. 

“Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan slowly opened his eyes. He must have been more tired than he had thought. His thought had not fully formed yet here was the Master calling him out of his trance already. Obi-Wan worried that he had accidently fallen asleep. He fervently hoped that the Master would give him another chance to prove himself. He rolled off and landed on his feet. He could stand without aid now. He thanked the Master who simply nodded. Obi-Wan had the impression that Jinn was waiting for something. 

Speedily, Obi-Wan dried himself and dressed, he was composing his thoughts on his first meditation with Jinn as well. He bounced through where Jinn was patiently waiting for him.

“Come Initiate, Your aunt and Uncle are waiting for you. The members of the Council who are about today are meeting with them to dine in my quarters.”

He held out his hand to Obi-Wan. The young man could not hide his smile as he slipped his hand into the older man’s clasp. He allowed himself to be conducted out of the gymnasium area and through to one of the lesser used corridors.

“Master Jinn?”

“Yes, Initiate?” encouragingly.

“I was considering what you told me to meditate upon.”

“What I told you to meditate on?”

“Yes, and when you asked me how it felt I realized that there are in fact several layers both of feeling and inquiry. One can simply refer to the tactile sensations experience by both of us. However this ignores the wealth of sensation, both secondary as well as emotional and spiritual. I must however admit to you that I was at the time tired and did not properly compose my thought be fore I fell asleep. With your permission I would like to be retested in this Mystery. I feel that I have not had a chance to do the meditation justice.”

“You wish to be re-tested in the . . . Mystery.”

“Yes, Master Jinn, the Massage Meditation of the Master of the seven Ancient Jedi Mysteries.”

“The seven Ancient Jedi Mysteries?” 

Obi-Wan started to wonder why Master Jinn did nothing more than repeat everything he said.

“Initiate Kenobi would you please explain these Mysteries to me.”

Obi-Wan’s heart flared. Here was his chance. Jinn had not chided him for speaking out of turn nor for speaking of the Mysteries. He and Jah’nne had reviewed the Mysteries many times and Obi-Wan was confident in his knowledge. He was careful to correctly name each one and explain how each was conducted and the benefits to be had. They were standing outside Jinn’s quarters when Obi-wan paused for a breath feeling very pleased with himself. He knew he had been thorough and there was no fault to be had in his explanation.

Jinn paused a moment as though considering something deeply. He raised his eyes and Obi-Wan was very surprised to see something like sorrow reflected there.

“Initiate, I wish you to do something for me.”

“Anything, Master.” Obi-Wan was unnerved by the sadness in the older man’s eyes.

“After tonight, more likely tomorrow. Would you consider telling your Aunt and Uncle what you have told me. When you do I would also appreciate it if you would explain the circumstances which have led to your reciting these . . . these beautiful . . . er . . . Mysteries to me.”

Obi-wan stared at the Master a moment then nodded, “As you wish, sir.”

Master Jinn touched the door panel and it slid open.

 

There was much merriment at the Temple that night. Obi-Wan was elated. Having been tested last night with the handhold and Knight’s Kiss this evening he had been tested in the Massage Meditation. He was thrilled and knew himself to be ready to be chosen as a Padawan. 

There had been a fine dinner with several other old friends of Yaddle and Poof. Pehkk and Hunt had also joined them as well as Master Windu. In fact, the only downside Obi had seen was the fact that Chas Amedda and the Neimoidians still clung to Windu like leeches.

Obi-Wan dropped himself down, landing on his feet. He smiled as Sabé clapped her hands and there were various proud comments and other praises for his perfect execution of the catflip turn levitation. He was pleased to note he was not even panting. He smiled at Sabé who was looking at him with a warm happy smile.

“You did that so perfectly.’ she said in her usual soft voice.

“Not perfectly,” he admitted ruefully. “You were close enough to me to see that slip when I did the knee curl. This is a wonderful area of the apartment for practicing. These tumbling mats are great.”

“Yes, my Guardian had then sent here for me.” She glanced over to where Jinn was seated opposite them. “He is so good. I don’t deserve them.”

“Well, your Guardian thinks you do and as you know he is always right.” Obi-Wan glanced at Jinn who was watching him with an inexplicable expression on his face. 

“Now it’s your turn,” Obi-Wan informed the younger initiate. He gave her a traditional Gungan forehead smooch out of habit and took her hands, pulling her into the center part of the mats. He failed to notice Sabé goggling at him as well as Hunt and Pehkk.

“Umm . . . thanks.” her voice startled him.

“For what?’ he smiled. Sabé surprisingly blushed. 

“For the kiss . . . ” she mumbled. Obi-Wan was puzzled then realized what she was talking about.

“Oh, that wasn’t a kiss, Sabé, that was a smooch. It’s traditionally Gungan. It’s sort of like . . . ” He hunted for something human for her to understand. “It’s comforting, like patting someone on the shoulder or things like that. On Naboo all the Initiates do it to each other. It means you’re friends.” 

Obi-Wan smiled at Sabé and was rewarded with a glowing smile in  
return. 

“That’s . . . that’s sweet.”she said. 

Obi-Wan chuckled, “To tell you the truth, I miss it. Everyone seems so distant and cold here. Come now, as I said it’s your turn . . . ” 

He shooed her into the middle of the matt. 

“Oh, in front of all these people . . . I will levitate but please don’t ask me to recite the accompanying litany.”

“If you’d prefer not to.” Obi-Wan aided her to the starting stance then padded off the mats to get a drink of water. He was swallowing thirstily when Mas Amedda turned and addressed him in a voice that called the entire room’s attention.

“Initiate Kenobi. Tell me are the senators still conducting their talks on Naboo?”

“They have gone to Hoth,” Obi-Wan stated. He felt a little awkward standing in the middle of the room in nothing but a sheen of sweat and his white dress breeches which were soft and traditionally thin.

“That must be a great loss to your Creche, Initiate Kenobi,” Amedda smirked. 

Obi-Wan drew the Force about himself and bowed slightly.

“We are bearing it as best we can, Mas Amedda.”

“Well,” Amedda was still openly looking for somewhere to stick a knife in, “I had heard that some initiates found the company of Senator Palpatine pleasing.”

There was a thump and Obi-Wan saw that Sabé had fumbled slightly. He used the moment to forget Amedda, as his only thought was to comfort poor Sabé who was embarrassed profoundly by the mention of the Sith-spawn’s name.

“I am so sorry, Initiate Sabé,” Obi-Wan cried, hurrying to her side. “How can you possibly levitate properly with no one to spot for you?”

He put himself in position and sent a steadying wave into the Force to the young female hanging in the air three feet above him. She levelled out and began her forms with grace and delicacy. Obi-Wan felt her grow calm in the Force and he was able to look up. His eyes locked instantly with Master Jinn’s across the room. He suddenly felt a ripple of the Force touch him softly.

Obi-Wan glanced back at Sabé to make sure she was still moving confidently through the form. When he was able to look at Master Jinn once more the Master had moved to sit with his friend Mace and Obi-Wan could no longer see the older man’s face.

 

It was very late that evening when Yaddle and Poof finally decided that it was time for them to return to Lam’tonne. Obi-Wan was bubbling with happiness. Sabé, Hunt and Pehkk walked to the door with him as the Masters accompanied his Aunt and Uncle. He was amused then deeply touched when not only Sabé but both Hunt and her brother tried to bestow a smooch on his forehead. He went to get in the air taxi and felt Jinn’s hand on his elbow.

“Good night, Initiate.”

“Good night, Master Jinn.” 

For a moment Obi-Wan thought the Master was going to kiss him again but he drew away with that strange, sad look in his eyes.

The return trip to the sub-Temple was short. Yaddle stretched and yawned as she hopped onto the sofa in the lounge area. Obi-Wan tossed aside his white cape and plopped down on the floor in front of his Aunt. Uncle Yareal divested himself of his cannom collar. Obi-Wan perched on the rug looking from one to the other, he was about trembling with excitement. His Uncle and Aun˛t looked at each other then at him. Yaddle giggled lightly.

“Why, Obi-Wan, is there something you wish to tell us?”

Obi-Wan took his chance and launched into a diatribe that left him breathless. Everything that Jinn had advised, details of their different interludes together, analysis of all that Jinn had said and done, and minute details of the Seven Ancient Mysteries and all that such encompassed. 

Flushed with excitment and panting a little Obi-Wan stopped for breath. It was then that he noticed that his Aunt and Uncle were staring at him exactly as Jinn had. He caught his breath and felt the beginnings of a strange chill settle across his heart.

“What?” His voice was a pale shadow of itself. Yaddle and Yaerel exchanged glances and Yaddle leaned forward and beckoned him to come and sit close at her feet.

“Obi-Bunnie . . . Where did you learn of these . . . er . . . Mysteries?”

Obi-Wan shrugged. “Padawan Silitt. Just before she was bonded to her Knight. Jah’nne said that she saw them together and Silitt explained the Mysteries to her and she told me about them. Silitt used to babysit for us often. Why do you ask? Why did Master Jinn ask . . . ?” 

Obi-Wan looked from his Aunt and Uncle and stared at the rug, mumbling, “It’s like no one believes me or is pretending the Mysteries don’t exist or something.” 

He didn’t look up as Uncle Yaeral cleared his long throat.

“Obi-Bunnie . . . ” Long snow white fingers twined themselves in his ruddy curls still stiff with starch. “I think that as you were told of these things at a young age it’s possible that you simply clung to them instead of assigning them to their proper place. We know that you are not ignorant of proper knowledge concerning the reproductive and sexual behavior of your own and other near cross-breeding species, but I think you are somewhat . . . er . . . confused concerning some courtship rituals.”

Obi-Wan sat there on the floor as he and his two loving relatives began to sift through the Mysteries and the past, seeing where the roots of the Mysteries had begun.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all, Here is the next chapter, finally. I have been having a dreadful time with it. It has not cooperated with me in any way, shape, or form. I have written it, re-written it, gone back to the original, edited, and thrown it into a proverbial dark, dark box. I am not best pleased with what I now post. But this is the best I've been able to come up with. Those of you who have expressed enjoyment of this story I am deeply indebted to you and your patience. Please forgive this less than stellar chapter and we can get on with the rest of the story. Darth Maul is in the rest and he always makes an excellent mess. Thank you for staying with me and this story I shall get the next chapter ready to post in a few days.  
> Oh, and there's rather a lot of sex in this chapter, so feel free to skip if that's not your thing.
> 
>  
> 
> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes at the sound of his Aunt’s calling him. He was groggy with little sleep and his eyes were puffed and bruised with crying. Weeping in shame at his stupid idiotic behavior. He didn’t ever want to see the Temple, Windu or Jinn ever again. He was certain that everyone knew about and was no doubt laughing over his ignorance.  
He squirmed into the covers once more. He was a grown male and he had been harboring the romantic fancies of an innocent. He never wanted to train again. He didn’t want to be a Jedi. He would go to the University. He could easily be excused as an eccentric aesthetic and scholar. No one would care or ask him about love, courtship or sexual encounters.  
There was a tap on his door. He raised his head. Auntie peered in.  
“Obi-Bunnie, you must get up and pack a few things. Your Uncle and I have been called away for about three days. We cannot take you with us and we cannot leave you here. The High Council has made arrangements for you to remain at the Temple and take some classes while we are away, isn’t that nice?”  
“Yes, Auntie.”

Obi-Wan stared down the Main Hallway as the air-taxi bore his relatives away. The Padawan who had come to meet him grinned,  
“I’ve heard lots about you.” The young male was of a species Obi-Wan didn’t know, neither did he want to know what the Padawan had been hearing about him. He could well guess.  
“Please, Padawan, there are a few things I need to work on from my studies at my home Temple. I would appreciate it if you would show me the library.”  
The Padawan shrugged and led the way down the corridor. The library was vast and held quantities of books. The fact attested to the point that the Temple building was large but from the skyscraping height of classes and normal daily life the library was in the lowest levels and they seemed to go on down and down forever.  
Obi-Wan went to the lowest level he could without permission or supervision. The place was dark and dusty and full of very ancient tomes. Obi-Wan went to the point farthest from the elevator door and the stair and settled himself. He chose a few books at random and started to conduct something that would vaguely resemble studies.

He slowly opened his eyes. He didn’t exactly remember when his head had slipped down to the open volume and his consciousness had left the building entirely. There beside him, he slowly realized, was Master Jinn.  
“Obi-Wan? Are you all right?”  
“Yes, Master Jinn, I am quite well.”  
Obi-Wan rose a little unsteadily and stared a little longer at the hand-cyphered volume before him. He took a deep breath and went forward with the strange sad idea that had plagued him since he had retired to bed last night. “I spoke to my relatives as you requested, Master Jinn. I apologize for misinterpreting your wishes.”  
“It is I who should apologize, Initiate . . . I-”  
Clenching the shreds of his dignity and guts about him like worn rags, Obi-Wan blundered on, heedless of how rude he was being in his wishes and the mere fact he was interrupting a Master.  
“I cannot begin to tell you how embarrassed I was and still am. I had considered myself learned in such matters but now I see my error. I can only hope that you will at least have some pity on me in this ridiculous predicament I find myself in.  
“To be honest with you I must tell you that I have never been particularly interested in exercising my sexual curiosity. I was taught and knew the basics of reproduction and sexual behavior, but like I said, I was not curious. I see that perhaps this was an error on my behalf. Perhaps if I had paid more attention to physical needs I would not have had to endure the shame I have had during my stay here. I will not burden you with details. But please understand that I now know that those so-called ridiculous Mysteries were of my own imagination and have no standing within the Way of the Jedi or even the world of being itself.”  
Master Jinn looked worriedly at him.  
“Obi-Wan, you had nothing to be ashamed of. Please do not call your ‘Mysteries’ ridiculous. They are very beautiful and, I fully admit, gave me a great deal to think about and meditate on. They are in their own right . . . ”  
“A childish fantasy,” Obi-Wan finished. “Please Master Jinn, I know I am rude but I beg you not to patronize me on this. I feel ignorant and quite worthless as it is. Such behavior and failure of simple knowledge is not fitting to any member of the Jedi Order or even to an aspiring initiate. I fully intend to enter the university at the end of the season. In the meantime I do have a request. I have been ignorant and childish for longer than is permissible. I wish to rectify this situation.”  
Obi-Wan swallowed and tried keep his voice steady as he formed his question.  
“If you would be so kind as to teach me what can pass for the rudiments of sexual intercourse I would be most grateful.”  
Obi-Wan turned away. He could feel tears burning at the back of his eyes. He straightened his shoulders. He was no longer a child, it was time to stop crying and behave as an adult. He focused and prepared to cast his pain and frustrations into the Force but then realized that he no longer had the right to do so, unworthy as he was of the Jedi and the Force.  
He swallowed down the bitter pain and turned to face the Master. Jinn was half-seated on the table looking at him.  
“When did you last eat, Initiate?”  
Obi-Wan wanted to scream but he controlled himself. He understood that Jinn was not even going to dignify his request with an acknowledgement of the question. He bowed his head respectfully.  
“I cannot in honesty remember, Master Jinn, I assume it must have been before I left Lam’tonne for here.”  
Master Jinn turned, piled the books he had been using and carried them to a bench against the wall where a counting panel was. He touched the panel so that the page droid would know to come to the level and reshelve the items. Jinn offered his hand to Obi-Wan.  
“Come.”  
Obi-Wan picked up his cape and overnight bag and followed the Master to the elevator.  
The Master offered no conversation during the seemingly long ride upward from the bowels of the library. Obi-Wan was too tired and once more thoroughly ashamed. He sighed to himself. He had tried. He had tried to rectify his ignorance with a request for knowledge from a Master and been denied. There wasn’t really anything else he could do. He considered that at least now he would know and recognize it when beings made common advances toward him. He would be able to refuse without looking like a fool. At least he had that left when all this was over.  
He followed Jinn to a doorway and Jinn touched the panel then stood aside for him to enter. It took a moment then Obi-Wan realized they were in Jinn’s private chambers. He shuddered remembering last evening with blinding embarrassment and a pin-prick of pleasure at the recall of little Sabé’s kindness to him. He looked about.  
“Initiate Sabé is not here?”  
Master Jinn shrugged out of his long robe and hung it up and held out his hand for Obi-Wan’s plain white cape.  
“She is saying with her new Master Saesee Tiin. She was asking for you today. In fact, quite a few people were. It took me the better part of three hours to locate you.”  
Obi-Wan looked at the floor and mumbled an apology. He wanted to go back to Naboo. No one here understood him. No one was kind and affectionate like on Naboo. Friends didn’t embrace each other. No one touched, no one cuddled, no one tickled anyone else. Obi-Wan found himself figuring out that it had been over a week since anyone had clasped him close as a friend or knocked him and themselves over in a raucous tickle-fight. He hadn’t thrown a pillow or a cushion at a single being either. No one had fed him part of their dessert and he had not fed anyone any of his snackies. No one had snackies here, either.  
“Obi-Wan.”  
He turned at the sound of Jinn’s soft tone. The Master was looking at him. He realized he had wandered to the window and was fiddling with the ornaments there. He removed his hands and put them behind his back, out of the way. He bowed to the Master, waiting for a reprimand. None came as the Master simply went through to a kitchen area and filled the clear green kettle and placed it on its boiler. He gathered thing together to make tea and placed a few things on a plate.  
Obi-Wan assumed they were something to eat but reminded himself not to call them snackies. Obi-Wan stayed in his corner and stared outside. It was night. He idly wondered what time it was. As he looked about the room his eyes fell on the chronometer. His eyes bugged as he realized it was in fact the middle of the night.  
Jinn came over to the sofa and set the tray down and sat. He beckoned Obi-Wan to come to sit with him. Obi-Wan did so but refrained politely from helping himself as he was the Master’s place and he was not on Naboo.  
“Eat something, Initiate. I don’t know if my attempt is accurate but I hope this will suffice as fruit tea for you.”  
Obi-Wan took the smooth handle-less mug in both hands and sipped. The hot sweetness instantly flowed into him and once more he had to blink back tears. It wasn’t home but it was the closest thing he had had here to it. He sipped more, all but burning his lips and tongue but not caring as it was so comforting to him. Master Jinn pushed the plate toward him and he looked at the good-smelling pile of veridian scones, fairy cakes and something that looked like a berry rather than mushroom jam.  
He ate a little of a scone but couldn’t finish it. Master Jinn was sitting back on the sofa watching him. He carefully remembered not to lick his fingers, the jam spoon or his plate. He stopped using two hands on the mug and managed to choke down at least some food.  
“You miss Naboo, don’t you?”  
Obi-Wan considered, a Coruscant Master asking an Initiate if he missed his back-water planet. It didn’t matter any more.  
“Yes, Master.”  
“You don’t like the Temple?”  
Obi-Wan stared at his mug. He did like it but-  
“It’s colder here than at home.”  
“Cold? Coruscant has the same temperature range as Naboo as well as a matching seasonal cycle. Both planets are still in the beginnings of their warm seasons.”  
“Cold inside, sir.”  
The Master made no answer. Obi-Wan finished his tea and could not eat more. He began to rise.  
“Thank you for your kindness. My Aunt told me the Council had made arrangements for me during her absence. Do you know where I am to stay?”  
Master Jinn motioned him to sit.  
“I promised your relatives that I would look after you while they were off-planet.”  
Obi-Wan felt his stomach sink through the floor. Then the Master went on.  
“Your relations are worried about you. This sudden obsession with the university and your refusal to consider being a consort is deeply concerning them. I promised I would speak with you on the subject.”  
Obi-Wan knotted his hands in his lap and looked at them.  
“There is nothing to speak of. I would not describe my academic interest as an obsession. I am one and twenty now and cannot expect my trainer to care for me for the rest of my life. As for being a consort, I have seen many initiates go the way my friend I’O went. I cannot countenance such a . . . a . . . situation. I think that barring a . . . ”  
Obi-Wan paused then closed his resolve and continued speaking.  
“If I was to be taken in a soul-bond then training would be acceptable. A simple training bond is not an option for me now.”  
Obi-Wan smiled at the memory of his Master.  
“My training Master has assured me that all will end happily for me but I cannot sit about sighing for that. I must be mindful of the future.”  
“A soul-bond? That is a rare and precious thing, Initiate. However, I do understand your not wanting to enter into a similar contract as your friend. Are you so certain that you would give up everything that you have trained for simply because you are hoping that your one true knight or Master is waiting somewhere for you?”  
“I never said that I believe such a thing, Master Jinn, I did hope when I was younger. The fact remains that I am here, considered an adult. On Naboo, the age of independence begins at five and twenty, but I feel that I must do something other than sit at home, wishing for some kind Jedi to come along and cut off my curls.”  
Obi-Wan studied his hands in his lap. He wanted badly to go home but more he simply wanted to find somewhere to lie down and sleep, better yet wash then sleep. He yawned before he could stop himself.  
“Here,” Master Jinn rose, “the fresher is over there. Why don’t you get cleaned up and we’ll get you to bed. This discussion will make better sense in the morning.”  
Obi-Wan trailed into the fresher and fixed a hot shower. He dug out shampoo and scalp oil. He had not had the time last night to fully remove the starch from his hair and he knew it would take some time to get it out now.  
Scalp oil was made from dewback spinal fluid. It was the slipperiest lubricant known on Naboo, it was tasteless, non-toxic and smelled like days-old dried sweaty laundry.  
Half and hour later Obi-Wan was still sitting cross-legged on the floor of the shower stall, rubbing scalp oil into his head, trying to work loose the starch which was not only sticking but had, somehow, worked itself into large chucks around his hair line and all through his back hair. Obi-Wan was softly chanting Gungan cuss words under his breath.  
“Obi-Wan?”  
There was a tapping of fingers against the stall. “Have you fallen asleep?”  
“No, Master Jinn, I’m sorry to take so long. I can’t get the starch out of my hair.”  
The door opened and Master Jinn looked at him with both eyebrows raised. He reached over and switched off the water.  
“You can’t get the what out of your hair?”  
“The starch, Master Jinn.”  
“You have starch in your hair?”  
“Yes, Master Jinn.” Obi-Wan began to wonder if Master Jinn was hard of hearing.  
“And this . . . er, starch won’t come out?”  
“No, Master Jinn, that’s why I’m sitting here putting lube on it.”  
“You can’t get the starch out of your hair, so you’ve decided to put lube in it instead?”  
“Yes, Master Jinn.”  
Master Jinn looked at him for a long moment then,  
“Where exactly on you anatomy is this starched hair?”  
There was barely disguised laughter in Jinn’s voice.  
Obi-Wan wasn’t in the mood to be laughed at.  
“On my head, Master Jinn!” He sighed. “I am hardly going to starch my penis. On Naboo when you are taken as an initiate of the Force and Jedi you never cut your hair. That is kept for the Bonding ceremony. To keep it out of our faces, it’s starched back with mushroom gel which won’t melt when we sweat. If the starch dries hard you have to lubricate the hair so that the starch will eventually slide off.”  
Obi-Wan went back to rubbing the goop back into his scalp, hoping Jinn would go away.  
“Would you like some help?”  
Obi-Wan was startled by the offer and stared up at the Master.  
“Um . . . it’s wet in here,” he observed.  
Jinn shrugged and flipped the water back on and turned away. Obi-Wan went back to his rubbing. An instant later Jinn came into the stall, sans clothing and seated himself behind Obi-Wan.  
“Here, let me see.”  
The Master’s large hands pushed some of Obi-Wan’s heavy locks out of the way.  
“Bend your head forward and hold the long end of your hair. Force, this lube stinks!”  
Obi-Wan didn’t offer comment but held his hair out of the way while Jinn worked the lube into his hair. Being able to see and not having to deal with the greater part of Obi-Wan’s hair, Jinn’s progress was much swifter that Obi-Wan’s had been. The chunks of starch were tossed down to melt on the stall floor. Obi-Wan watched them fall from his head, wincing only once or twice. But Jinn always warned him if he was going to have to pull and apologized when he did. Obi-Wan almost purred when Jinn caught up the shampoo and started washing the lube out of his hair.  
Obi-Wan relaxed and found himself thinking about the water and the way it flowed. He usually fell into this particular revery when he was washing. It was the one he had always associated with the Mystery of the Padawan Bath. He grimaced. That was foolish. He was one and twenty and could bath himself. He arched his neck as Jinn rubbed the washcloth smelling of sweet soapy foam against his shoulders.  
“What are you thinking of?” Jinn’s voice was a half whisper.  
“How the water is like the Force.”  
“Is it?”  
“Yes. Like air, water is a medium in which beings exist and rely upon for their existence. Rather like the way we reply upon atmosphere. When you swim it’s like when you use the Force, it flows around you and if you know how to swim you can move easily with it and it can carry you. It can also drown you if you do not understand its ways nor respect it . . . ”  
Obi-Wan paused and realized what he was saying. He flung himself away from the Master having nowhere to go but to press his cheek against the cool porcelain and try and will the tears not to come.  
“Leave me alone! Can you never stop plaguing me with my misguided stupidity. Why do you insist on always bringing up my ignorance like a beacon? Isn’t my shame enough? Must I be humiliated every time I even speak of the Force now?”  
The tiles cooled his cheek and he got his breathing under control. He turned and forced himself to peer at the Master. Jinn was now sitting beside him. He rested his elbows against his raised knees and stared into the water that swirled down the drain taking soap and melting starch with it. He was silent, then spoke so softly Obi-Wan had to listen carefully to get all he was saying.  
“I was not trying to humiliate you. I told you before that you have nothing to be ashamed of. True, the Mysteries were something you dreamed up. But this does not mean they have no worth. What little you told me of them and the rest your relations said only deepened my respect for your ideas. No one hearing them could ever deny that they were from the Force. The fact that you meditated in the Force on each one is evident even to the most ignorant of initiates.  
“The fact that they are somewhat based around courtship in no way takes from their worth. I wished there was some way or something I could say that would help you to accept that these ideas and meditations are of worth and goodness. I wish there was some way I could help you to accept them as they are and once more see them for their own simple beauty.”  
Obi-Wan sniffed as the water rinsed him as he sat there still beneath the spray. He didn’t understand why Jinn was saying the things he was. The Mysteries were a child’s way of looking at courtship, they were his fancies of his one true knight coming for him, The True Jedi Knight, whom Maul had teased him about and sneered at.  
“Come.”  
Obi-Wan looked up. Master Jinn was holding out his hand. Sighing Obi-Wan rose and stepped out of the stall. Jinn handed him a vast warm towel as he leaned in to turn off the water. Obi-Wan wrapped the towel about his body and looked about. Jinn was tying his own towel about his hips. He glanced at Obi-Wan, reached to a rack and handed the younger man another towel. Obi-Wan bent, wrapped the towel about his head and hair twisted it and rose, flipping the wrapped ends over the top of his head. He turned slightly and dried himself hurriedly. He reached over to the other rack where he had dumped his sleep pants. He was quietly glad he had bought these as well. No one wore traditional sleep robes at the Temple and it didn’t look as though anyone wore jammies either. He rubbed the towel about his head and turned to Master Jinn.  
“Thank you for doing my hair for me,” he said flatly. It was becoming harder and harder not pretend that he was simply going to bed and forget all this happened. He sighed, reflecting that perhaps Jinn merely thought he was a harmless lunatic.  
Jinn went out of the fresher into the main room. Obi-Wan bent over and rubbed his hair hard and squeezed the remaining drips out of it.  
He trotted back into the main room and started fishing about in his bag for his brush and something to tie his hair with. He was still digging when Jinn appeared in sleep pants and still barefoot.  
“Need something?”  
Obi-Wan shook his head, “No thank you, Master Jinn. I’ve just got to brush this mess out before I got to bed or I’ll be spending three hours trying to untangle it tomorrow morning.”  
He found the brush and, still sitting on the floor, started to go through it.  
Master Jinn watched him a few moments then, “You don’t seem to enjoy doing that.”  
Obi-Wan snorted laughingly, “I don’t even usually have to. My Trainer at home did it for me. It’s sort of a ritual we do together. He’d brush and braid my hair and I’d tell him everything that was happening in my head.”  
Obi-Wan felt lonely remembering his Beloved Trainer so far away and comfortable at home on Naboo. “When I was on Alderaan, Reppi and I’O would take turns and my Aunt does it here. It’s funny to think how many people end up playing with my hair.”  
Obi-Wan shrugged and started picking at a tangle.  
“Would you like another taker for the task?”  
Obi-Wan turned and stared at Master Jinn. The Jedi Master seemed perfectly serious in his offer. He held out his hand to Obi-Wan who took it and allowed himself to be raised from the floor and led to the couch. Jinn took the brush from him and sat him backward on the couch while seating himself on the small table in front of it. Obi-Wan tried to relax as he felt Jinn begin to brush his hair with long smooth strokes.  
“You’ve done this before?” Obi-Wan asked, not able to stop himself, also he didn’t want to give Jinn a chance to ask him what was going on in his head.  
“Occasionally Sabé would ask me to do it for her when she was younger. I wouldn’t like to think I’d forgotten. Force, your soul-mate’ll need a lightsaber to cut through this.”  
Obi-Wan felt Jinn weighing the heavy locks in his hands. He started thinking about a soul-mate, then decided not to as he was going to the university and not the Temple.  
He wondered what it would be like studying things, yet never referring them to the Force. He wondered what it would be like living without the Force. It was hard not to constantly try and reach into the Force and protect and calm himself. He wondered what it would be like when he would no longer shield himself. How unsafe and vulnerable he would feel. He had been shielding himself since he was a child.  
“Obi-Wan? Is there something wrong?”  
“Master Jinn?”  
Obi-Wan peeked around at the older man who was patiently brushing his hair.  
“Your shields are tighter than kloo horn reed. What are you worrying about?”  
“Nothing, Master Jinn. Habit.”  
Jinn was silent a moment then, “Did your trainer insist upon you having tight shields at all times?”  
“No, Master Jinn. I just got into the habit at night.”  
“Why night? Who would harm you during the night on Naboo?”  
Obi-Wan hesitated. Very few Outsiders ever credited the local stories about the Sando Aqua Monsters. Locals never referred to them but Obi-Wan knew they existed and they were very intelligent.  
“When you were on Naboo, Master Jinn, did you hear any tales about the seas?”  
“Yes, we were told that there were several very large water predators the largest being the Opee Sea Killer and the Colo Claw Fish. When we first arrived Boss Nass met us in the museum and showed up a full skeleton of each. I was quite surprised at the sheer size of them. I did hear several stories that there was a larger even more powerful creature but no officials ever commented or seemed to want to comment when we asked. We assumed that it was a local legend.”  
“The Sando Aqua Monster.” Obi-Wan finished.  
“Yes. You know more about such a being?”  
“Of course.”  
Obi-Wan paused, the monster was a deeper secret than even the Mysteries. Unlike the mysteries this one had at one time frightened him until he learned that it was merely a part of Naboo ecology. He had never told Master Yoda. He had never told anyone. He wondered why he felt he wanted to tell Master Jinn.  
“Are you mind-whammieing me, Master Jinn?” Obi-Wan didn’t look back but the brush paused.  
“No, Initiate. I am not.”  
“Are you using the Force to influence me in any way?”  
“No.”  
Obi-Wan considered, he could tell and be laughed at or he could keep his knowledge to himself and just know about this all alone.  
“May I inquire as to why you asked me these things, initiate?”  
Obi-Wan sighed and played with the material on the back of the sofa, then  
“If I tell you what I know, will you promise to keep it to yourself and not share with the other Jedi? Frankly, I’m tired of being laughed at for being a back-water world simpleton.”  
“Who has laughed at you, Obi-Wan?”  
Obi-Wan shrugged, “You all do. That’s why it always feel so cold here.”  
Master Jinn rose to his feet and placed Obi-Wan’s neatly braided hair across his shoulder.  
“Up to standard?”  
“Thank you, Master Jinn.”  
“Come. The other room is full of storage items and after a couple of hours this couch feels as though it’s upholstered with rocks. Would you object to sharing my bed, Initiate?”  
“No, Master Jinn.”  
Obi-Wan suddenly found he was too tired to care anymore. He followed the Master through to his bedroom. The bed was huge and looked inviting. Obi-Wan stood looking at it as the Master put out the lights in the other room and came through.  
He left a bedside lamp on and got himself under the covers. He looked up at Obi-Wan who shrugged inwardly and climbed in beside the Master.  
Obi-Wan curled up on his side. He made sure he wouldn’t touch the Master in anyway. People seemed to dislike being touched out here. Oh, how he missed home.  
He closed his eyes and gathered memories about him of getting ready for bed. He would go first to Flas-Ok and that would be the first of the hugs and kisses good night.  
Each one was unique to the Creche-member giving it. Flas was vague and absent-minded as her mind was permanently buried in her studies.  
Khi-To was as warm and tight or sour and cold depending entirely on his mood of the moment.  
Maul squeezed the breath out of him and usually licked his ear or, if he was in a teasing mood, clung to Obi-Wan trying in vain to thrust his grey-blue tongue up his fellow Creche-mates nose.  
Obi-Wan would always escape by tickling the red-skinned pest into a giggling heap on the floor. He would bow to the Housekeeper from her doorway as she fluttered about only half noticing he was there.  
He would kneel at Master Yoda’s feet and wrap his arms about the elderly creature and hold him tight. They would stay that way for a long time until finally Yoda would kiss his forehead and both cheeks and tell him “time to sleep it is.”  
Lastly he would creep in to Jah’nne and they would lie on her bed and whisper until they were both yawning then he would finally creep through to his own room and draw his shields tight so the Sando Aqua Monster wouldn’t draw near in the deep tunnels beneath the swamp and whisper his name like she used to when he was little and believed that she was a friend and not the predator she was.  
Obi-Wan opened his eyes from the memories and realized he was crying again. He wiped his eyes on the pillow and tried not to sniff.  
“Obi-Wan?”  
Master Jinn leaned closer and gently clasped the initiate’s shoulder in his hand. “Please tell me what’s troubling you.”  
He sat up and turned the younger man on his back. Obi-Wan looked up at him.  
“I think I’m just home-sick, that’s all. I’m sure I’ll live.” He wiped his eyes and sniffed. Jinn lay down beside him close. Their shoulders touched.  
“What can I do to make it better?”  
Obi-Wan was startled by the soft question. Obi-Wan sat up then turned to look at the Master lying peacefully beside him.  
“Would you . . . would you shield me?”  
The next minute he almost wished he hadn’t said such a thing. Jinn look at him oddly. Then he leaned back and motioned Obi-Wan to lie beside him, at least that’s what he thought until he was half way to the pillow and Jinn reached and drew him to lay his head on Jinn’s shoulder.  
Obi-Wan tucked his back against the Jedi Master’s warm flank and hugged the arms that held him.  
A large calloused hand gently stroked his own side. Then he felt it. The shield encasing him like a vast heavy blanket. As heavy as Master Yoda’s own. Obi-Wan explored this shield with his senses then slowly allowed himself to relax.  
In a shivering moment he gathered his earlier thoughts close.  
His darling Creche-mates saying ‘good night’ he spiraled off to memories of parties at Otoh Gunga. Learning shanty dances with Jah’nne and I’O. Maul whining loudly the time Obi and Jah’nne had to fish him out of the vat the local farmer was mixing ice-candy in. The time Khi-To was run over by a dewback with extreme diarrhea. Flas-Ok sitting tight against the sippytok tree and meditating for the entire day only to find that the tree was still in spring sap rush which flowed on its outer bark and had effectively glued the young girl to it. Mistress Fan’iy had fussed for three hours afterwards as, after cutting the hapless being off the tree, they had been force to soak her haillu in fish oil for hours to rid it of the sticky goo.  
I’O, Jah’nne and Obi sitting together meditating and sharing the Force together then walking mindfully through the trees to gather windfall blossoms and dance naked on the spring mud laced with pink pond flowers the size of their hands and thousands upon thousands of yellow, orange and blue water butterflies fluttering and mating bare inches above the glistening mud.  
Obi as a child running into the night, being called by a soft voice of a friend. He stared out into the vast ocean, looking for his secret little friend who called him in his sleep and who he talked to often. Peering out into the Moonlit darkness on a natural jetty of stones and flotsam. Something beneath the waves rising. Something that leapt out of the water straight into the night sky. Fully eight hundred meters tall, it leapt clear of the water.  
Obi had clung to his sanity unlike others who hadn’t lived to tell of seeing this sight. The little boy turned and fled back into the woods. He had slowed at first, thinking that the dry land was safe, before he remembered that the landmasses on Naboo were only tentatively attached. And for the most part floated over the waters and She had tunnels all through. The ponds of deep clear water were rising holes.  
Obi had climbed the nearest tree and traversed the rest of his way home in the comforting branches.  
Reaching solid ground he had stopped to turn. He had faced She who had been a friend in his mind and had eventually persuaded him to come and play out in the dark night. He had seen Her for what She was. Not of the Force, not of the Dark Side, not evil. Intelligent and determined to survive.  
They had parted there. He had never listened to Her soft voice in his mind again. He had learned to shield against Her and She lacked the skill to call him further.  
He sighed. He hadn’t meant to share this much, only the Sando so that Jinn would believe him. He wondered how one broke a sharing bond with a Master. He didn’t want to share any more but he didn’t want to turn and ask the bond be broken. This was the closest thing he had had to the loving companionship of his Creche-mates.  
The Master’s presence was in a way calming. He did not search any part of Obi-Wan, he did not move deeper, he merely remained where he had been invited and waited. Obi-Wan half smiled to himself, he should make the most of this. If he thought the Temple Jedi cold and unaffectionate those at the university would be frozen in comparison. The light was beside him.  
He bowed his head then found he was opening his eyes.  
He could see the splash of the lamplight on the pillow he wondered vaguely if he had actually fallen asleep immediately and dreamed all his thoughts. Jinn’s arm was still about him. He turned over slightly and looked at his bed-fellow. Jinn was watching him with mild concern.  
“You do know, Obi, there are other sorts of bonds besides master and apprentice? Some consort bonds are not merely those of a business nature.”  
“I have never seen them otherwise?” Obi-wan said curiously. “On Naboo, there were two options, business consort or apprentice. All others were for those who were not as Force touched as we.”  
Jinn smiled.  
“There are occasions when two who are Force touched meet and have a great liking for one another. A liking so great it is a bad in itself.”  
“You mean like others do? Like falling in love?” Obi asked.  
“Yes, Initiate.”  
Obi considered this a moment then looked at the man beside him. He was suddenly flushed with several different emotions. He did like Jinn. He liked Jinn a great deal. He was an excellent companion who also challenged Obi-Wan’s intellect. He was very handsome, too.  
Obi-wan felt himself blush.  
“Dear Obi,” Jinn began. “Can you truly, now that you are considering it, doubt my regard?”  
“Oh, Master Jinn! I-I’m sure I do not but this is very knew to me.”  
“Then allow me to further your education.” Jinn murmured.  
Jinn’s lips were warm and pleasant. He tasted as good as he had that first time he had kissed Obi-Wan. Having no experience, Obi-Wan quickly reached the end of his instincts and became profoundly embarrassed. He began to draw away but Jinn’s arm across his shoulders stopped him. He was drawn back down and his lips once more pressed to Jinn’s. His mouth was opened with a light fingertip against his chin. He froze in shock at the heat of the Master’s mouth against his own and the feel of Jinn’s tongue sliding gently into his mouth. He stayed still unsure how to react as his mouth was explored and tasted. The sensations lit sparks behind his eyes and he found himself relaxing to bonelessness and falling back against the pillows, opening his mouth wide and sliding his arms about the Master’s powerful shoulders.  
Jinn held him loosely and continued his gentle ministrations. Obi began to feel entranced by what was happening to him. Obi sat up on the bed beside him and traced a fingertip down his arm. Jinn’s hands cupped his chin, stroking his face. He caught Jinn’s hands in his and pressed them to his cheeks then folded them together in his, kissing them gently. He wanted to be so close to the Master and he didn’t want tonight to end.  
“My Obi.” The Master’s soft whisper opened his eyes to see Jinn shift over and pull the covers aside once more. Jinn patted the place beside him invitingly. Obi-Wan didn’t even think to resist as he slid in to the Master’s arms. Jinn’s arms went around his waist and shoulders molding him to his body. Obi-Wan slid his arms around Jinn’s neck and threaded his fingers into his long brown, iron touched hair, illicitly enjoying the silky softness running through his fingers. Jinn’s lips caught his and opened his mouth to let Obi-Wan explore and to savor once more those delicious sensations from earlier.  
Jinn murmured with pleasure low in his throat and slid his hands across Obi-Wan’s back, massaging and pressing him harder against him. His lips trailed kisses across Obi-Wan’s cheek and down to his throat. Obi-Wan gasped with pleasure as large calloused hands slid to his waist and rubbed his hips against the soft cloth of his sleep pants. He moved his hands down Jinn’s back, tracing, stroking the steel muscles that rippled beneath him hands. He instinctively pressed his hips against Jinn’s, drawing his leg across the larger man’s hip. Jinn’s hand stroked down from Obi-Wan’s waist and traced the soft tender skin from his hip to under his knee making him squeak a little, being so ticklish.  
Jinn tightened his hold, murmuring with pleasure as his tongue threaded its way along Obi-Wan’s collar bone  
"My Obi . . . "  
"Mmm . . . Don't stop . . . ," Obi-Wan murmured, never wanting Jinn’s hands to leave his body. Jinn’s hands softly stroked the sleep pants down from his hips. His brain resurfaced a little and he realized what was going on. He hesitated a moment, but only for a moment. He let go of Jinn to arch up a little and the clothing slide from his body. He felt embarrassed and yet somehow released as Jinn tossed it to the floor.  
The Master lay down beside him, moving closer cradling Obi-Wan in his arms, pressing his lips to the base of Obi-Wan’s throat making him gasp.  
Jinn’s left arm tightened around his shoulder blades, supporting him. The heat of Jinn’s body directly on his skin made Obi-Wan dizzy as Jinn reached to caress the taut muscles in his neck and shoulders, first with his fingers then his lips.  
Jinn leaned forward again capturing Obi-Wan’s lips with his. Jinn sucked gently on Obi-Wan’s lower lip inviting his tongue to explore his mouth again. Obi-Wan’s breathing sharpened when he felt Jinn’s right hand caress his midriff, the back of his thumb brushing warmly against the curve of his ribs. He shifted, pressing even closer to Obi-Wan and Jinn’s lips touched his throat again. Obi-Wan caught his breath when Jinn slid two fingers up his side, tickling him, then slipped them up under his arms to stroke down and caress his nipple. Obi-Wan gasped and clutched the  
Jedi Master harder. He had never dreamed anything could feel this right.  
Jinn’s knee gently pushed between his legs and Obi-Wan wrapped his left leg around Jinn’s nearest and settled himself against the mattress. Jinn’s tongue slid familiarly into him mouth, thrilling him once more with the sheer pleasure of it. Jinn’s hands covered and caressed, his fingers deftly tracing his nipples and teasing them to erectness. Obi-Wan’s breath was ragged against his lips. His hands clenched against Jinn’s back and his soft cry of delight was stifled by Jinn’s mouth. The Master’s left hand slid fully across Obi-Wan’s back and Jinn stroked his left cheek then gently, using his fingers pressed Obi-Wan’s lower cheek opening his mouth wider.  
Jinn’s tongue teased Obi-Wan‘s, then Jinn caught it in his mouth and sucked on it more forcefully then he had before as his hand left his chest and slid down his belly and lower. Obi-Wan nearly choked at the feel of the large warm hand threading through nest of reddish brown hair. He struggled a little away on pure reflex but to his surprise Jinn released him. They drew a little apart and looked wordlessly at one another.  
“My Obi?”  
Jinn sounded as breathless as Obi-Wan felt.  
Obi-Wan blushed and grinned, “Yes, Master Jinn?”  
Jinn’s eyes widened teasingly. “We are in bed, Obi. Please call me Qui-Gon . . . Or whatever you feel is appropriate at this moment”  
Obi-Wan made a face at him then reached out to run his fingers through Qui’s hair. “Yes, Mas . . . ”, he giggled then,  
“Yes, Qui . . . ”, he whispered realizing that Jinn . . . Qui-Gon still hadn’t even removed his own sleep wear. He realized what he had said and felt him cheeks burn. Then thought that since he was his charge and, he realized, with delighted surprise, almost his lover five seconds ago, he might as well call him by some sweet nickname, “ Do you mind just ‘Qui’?”  
Qui-Gon smiled, drawing one of Obi-Wan’s long strands of curls over his shoulder, running it through his fingers and wrapping it in his hand.  
Watching this action, Obi-Wan stopped himself. Was this something he wanted to do? Yes. Was he sure? Yes. Did he really know what he was doing? Sith, no! Oh, well two out of three wasn’t bad. He had a moment of shyness as he slid his arms around Qui-Gon and kissed his cheek. Qui-Gon slid his arms around him once more and pulled him down to the pillows as his lips massaged Obi-Wan’s throat and sucked on his earlobe. Obi-Wan squeaked and leaned into him. A strange, almost worried look flashed across Qui-Gon’s face.  
“What?” Obi-Wan whispered.  
Jinn set him loose, sat up and leaned on his knees then turned to look at him.  
“You really haven’t had any experience?”  
Obi-Wan honestly shook his head, then blushed for no reason. Qui-Gon regarded him quizzically.  
“Surely you pleasure yourself?”Qui-Gon finally asked, brushing Obi-Wan’s cheek with the back of his hand. Obi-Wan suddenly felt the cold in the room and shivered. Qui-Gon immediately leaned against the pillows once more and wrapped Obi-Wan in his arms, making him feel a little better.  
“No . . . I when I felt such a . . . need, I would meditate and send the feelings into the Force. Was this wrong of me?” he managed. Obi-Wan felt like the world was falling apart and he didn’t know why.  
“Only that I am worried I may be pushing you into something you may not really want or you are not ready for.”  
Qui-Gon turned his dark blue eyes to look at Obi-Wan, his hands softly touched the curves of Obi-Wan’s neck. Obi-Wan smiled.  
“I considered that most of today and last night. I knew I wanted to be with you . . . ” he trailed off then smiled again. “After all, I only knew of two sort of bonds.”  
Qui-Gon grinned and the world was once more intact and good and fun.  
“Good point.”  
Qui-Gon’s arms slid around him once more and made Obi-Wan giggle again.  
“Anything I should meditate on, Master Teacher?” he asked when he could manage to speak.  
Qui-Gon’s grin became very naughty as he wagged a finger at Obi-Wan.  
“Do you truly think you will be allowed to think, let alone meditate while in this bed?”  
Obi-Wan raised a confused eyebrow, “Huh?”  
In reply, Qui-Gon tossed aside the covers and removed his own sleep wear. Obi-Wan eek-ed as Qui-Gon’s hand clamped down, entwining his fingers amongst the soft curls below Obi-Wan’s waist.  
“Mmmm,” Qui-Gon approved, leaning over and stroking the curls, his hand was large enough to cover and caress the whole part of him. Obi-Wan was delighted and shocked as he sprawled across Qui-Gon’s lap, naked as the day he was born, savoring how good Qui-Gon’s large, calloused hands felt against his skin, large and hot and gently tugging on the short coppery curls, massaging the soft sac and teasing Obi-Wan’s cock with his fingertips. Obi-Wan gasped as he felt his cock become hard and erect. He nearly sent the feelings into the Force but Qui-Gon murmured,  
“Let it happen, my Obi.”  
Qui-Gon whispered and slid his other arm beneath Obi-Wan’s body once more, supporting him. He gasped and clutched at Qui-Gon, as large fingers deepened their explorations and the sheer size of Qui-Gon’s hand was pressing his thighs further apart. Obi-Wan fell back against Qui-Gon’s arm, willingly opening to his gentle caresses. Obi-Wan’s breathing nearly choked him as Qui-Gon’s hand enclosed his cock and gently squeezed. He gasped as Qui-Gon’s fingertips slid around the head, softly stroking and teasing. It became a moan of pleasure as Qui-Gon’s thumb rubbed against his cleft. He had never dreamed that this would be what pleasure would feel like with a partner. He clenched Qui-Gon’s shoulders, panting as his hips rocked of their own will against Qui-Gon’s hand.  
A burst of ecstasy spilled over him for a brief moment, forcing a soft cry of delight from him throat. He gasped as his cum spilled over his stomach and Qui-Gon’s hand.  
He struggled up, wrapping his arms around Qui-Gon’s neck to hold him close. He needed that comfort. He heard Qui-Gon’s throaty chuckle of pure pleasure as he slid back to lie down beside him once more.  
“Like?” Qui-Gon whispered in his ear and slid his tongue to curve behind his earlobe, making Obi-Wan giggle. Wrapping his arms tight around Obi-Wan body, Qui-Gon pulled him closer and rolled onto his back pulling the initiate supine across him. Obi-Wan, half drunk on pleasure and heady passion, tossed back his hair, hauling himself up to sit on Qui-Gon’s waist. The hot ropes of Qui-Gon’s stomach muscles tensed against his ass and inner thighs. A low laugh escaped Obi-Wan’s throat as he pressed his ass against Qui-Gon’s belly rubbing until his breath caught sharply as he felt the smooth touch of Qui-Gon’s skin against his cock. Obi-Wan leaned over, balanced on the balls of his hands, staked on either side of Qui-Gon’s chest. The Master smiled and tangled his hands in Obi-Wan’s hair, sliding up so they rounded the back of Obi-Wan’s head and Qui-Gon dug his hands full of Obi-Wan’s thick sunset hair and gently pulled his mouth to his.  
Obi-Wan allowed himself to be drawn once more into an open-mouthed, wet kiss. Qui-Gon’s hands freed themselves of Obi-Wan’s hair and slid the length of his spine to curve around his butt, then his thumbs slipped between Obi-Wan’s belly and thighs, urging him to smooth his body lower onto his.  
“My Obi . . . ,”  
Qui-Gon’s hoarse whisper touched Obi-Wan’s lips. Obi-Wan sat upright on the Master once more, glorying in his own body and its beauty for the first time in his life. His body was strong and athletically developed, his nipples tan and erect, thrusting through the light sprinkle of chest hair. His hips, muscled, smooth and tanned from wearing the traditional short kilt during the hot sunny Naboo summers, clamped Qui-Gon’s belly and waist, holding him firmly to the bed.  
Obi-Wan delighted in himself as he flung back his red-gold hair, reaching up his arms to tangle him own fingers within its silky strands. The laughter bubbled up from deep within him again. He turned to look on Qui-Gon as the Master’s hands once more urged his hips to slid lower on his body,  
“My Bright one,” Qui-Gon’s coaxing tone was thicker and the hunger in his eyes was irresistible. Obi-Wan grinned in delight and instinctively bracing himself on his hands once more so he could slid back on him more easily. His left hand slid away from his body as he leaned in to kiss and nuzzle his throat, his ass high, out of Qui-Gon’s reach. Qui-Gon returned his kisses feverishly as he reached his left hand beneath Obi-Wan’s hip, trailing kisses up his cheek. Qui-Gon's tongue slid into his mouth briefly as he slid his hand behind Obi-Wan’s head, pressing his lips to the younger man’s once more.  
Obi-Wan tensed a moment, as a finger of worry started to slid through his mind, as if reading him thoughts, Qui-Gon whispered softly against his mouth,  
“Don’t worry, my Obi, you are safe with me. I will take care for you. This is your time for pleasure.”  
Qui-Gon paused reached to the side table again. He looked up at Obi-Wan and winked at him. There was small blue bottle in his hand. He poured out an amount of what looked like oil but was pleasantly scented. Jinn tossed the bottle back on the table and cupped his hand beneath Obi-Wan’s balls and pressed the slippery oil against Obi-Wan’s cock and slid his fingers along the long, hard shaft. Obi-Wan squealed at the feel of the lube then moaned at the feel of the Master’s hand stroking his length then reaching beneath to softly caress his small, virgin entrance. Catching himself, Obi-Wan gasped and pounced on Qui-Gon, pushing him back into the mattress.  
“That’s cruelty to ignorant initiates,” he scolded mockingly, playfully biting at Qui-Gon’s chest and nipples. The Jedi Master chuckled again and clamped his hands about Obi-Wan’s hips once more .  
“You’ll thank me soon, my Obi,” he teased, then laughed. Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow.  
“What were those little furry things that roamed the gardens and meadows on your Naboo? With the fluff balls for tails and long ears. They had fur the color of your hair.”  
Qui-Gon’s eyes sparkled with mischief. Obi-Wan looked incredulously at the Master.  
“They are called buns in front of polite guests like Jedi Masters and important people. In pidgin Gungan Basic which we speak we refer to them as bunnie-wunnies. They live for quite some time. The most unusual trait with them is that they are only in heat once every three years but nearly every day they are known to mate every two hours. Why are you asking about them, Qui?”  
“You are called Obi-Bunnie and you are an innocent?”  
Master Jinn was incredulous. Obi-Wan blushed.  
“You are not the only one who has noted the similarity of my hair color to their fur color and My Trainer claimed I was small and round when I was small and slept scrunched up like them.”  
The Master grinned teasingly and his hands clenched Obi-Wan’s side, tensing in the most ticklish spot. Obi-Wan tried to wriggled out of his reach. Qui-Gon started laughing and snatched him close again. He held on and the romance and passion melted into a giggling tickle-fight.  
Qui-Gon finally gave in and fell gasping to land back against the pillows, still laughing. Obi-Wan rocked against Qui-Gon’s waist enjoying the heat of the powerful body tight between his thighs. Obi-Wan murmured with pleasure. Qui-Gon looked up at him as Obi-Wan giggled at him.  
Obi-Wan was surprised when Qui-Gon just lay there, his hands softly massaging Obi-Wan’s thighs, a soft smile playing about his lips as the Master watched him.  
“What?” Obi-Wan asked and leaned forward to kiss Qui-Gon’s lips. Qui-Gon leaned forward into his kiss to savor it. They parted and Qui-Gon smiled again, “I like seeing you this way.”  
Obi-Wan sat up, his hands on Qui-Gon ’s chest.  
“What? Naked?” He felt a sudden stab of shyness and automatically started to wrap his hair around himself. Qui-Gon reached up and laced his fingers with Obi-Wan‘s.  
“Happy,” the Master whispered softly. Tears pricked the backs of Obi-Wan’s eyes. He leaned forward, and kissed Qui-Gon quickly.  
“I never dreamed any one could feel this happy just being with another,” he whispered, his face inches from Qui-Gon’s. Qui-Gon caught and held him there.  
“Tonight I will make sure you are completely happy, Obi-Wan.”  
He heard the serious note in Qui-Gon’s voice and a shiver of pleasure went through him.  
“Thank you, Mas . . . Qui,” he murmured against Qui-Gon’s lips. The Master rubbed his cheek against Obi-Wan’s, holding him close in the soft low light of the lamp.  
Obi-Wan leaned further forward then kissed him again. He slid his tongue into Qui-Gon’s mouth and he savored the electric thrill of his easy ministrations. He relaxed a little then felt hands slid along his stomach, lifting him upward onto his knees and gentle fingers began to caress and knead his cock. He stiffened at first but Qui-Gon’s voice and kisses assured and soothed him quickly. He found himself relaxing again and enjoying the experience of this sensual play against his skin. Gently Jinn’s fingers fondled his sac and the smooth skin behind.  
Qui-Gon slowly slid his fingers back and Obi-Wan gasped a little as the feather light touches of Qui-Gon’s fingertips easily stroked his ass then touched the small tight opening. Qui-Gon very gently, very slowly slid one fingertip inside. Obi-Wan moaned as pleasure shimmered through him.  
“Trust me, my Obi.” Qui-Gon whispered. Obi-Wan managed to murmur a ‘yes’, intent on what was happening to him and the sensations of earlier ecstasy slid into him again. His breathing labored and his hands clutched Qui-Gon’s shoulders, his knees weakened and he started to allow himself to slid down onto Qui-Gon’s hands. Obi-Wan cried out in surprise when he realized his movement was slowly pushing Qui-Gon’s finger deeper into his body. Obi-Wan fought for breath and curved himself back, his body instinctively adjusting to it. It wasn’t painful, just strange and new to have this touch within him. He moaned as his body at last rested on Qui-Gon’s hands, which lay on the older man’s belly.  
Obi-Wan crouched there breathing and slowly giving into the sensations that were beginning to build and take him over. His hips thrust against Qui-Gon’s belly quickly then again. He didn’t fight for control, just let go. He thrust against him again and again. There was a heat building in his groin. The ecstasy he had felt only briefly earlier was returning and its glow was expanding, filling his cock once more. He wanted more of it, his hips ground into Qui-Gon’s and he felt Qui-Gon’s finger slide from his body as he pulled away only to feel it with another and then another fill him again as he repeatedly thrust against the Master.  
He moaned with frustration and clutched him tighter. Suddenly with one hand, Qui-Gon lifted the initiate off his waist and pull his fingers slowly from Obi-Wan’s eager body. He moved him lightly lower then gently eased him down. For a brief movement Obi-Wan thought the Master was sliding his fingers back into him. He quickly realized it was the real thing when Qui-Gon slowly eased Obi-Wan’s body down using both hands, parting his legs and supporting his hips. Qui-Gon’s cock entered him and he exhaled and arched his back to slide onto Qui-Gon more easily.  
The Master’s cock was longer and thicker and Obi-Wan moaned with pleasure as the Master’s penis slowly sank into him, enjoying the sensation of being filled to the core.  
“Ahhhh! Oh Qui!” he sighed. “More.”  
“My Obi.” There was laughter in the Master’s voice as his hips rocked against Obi-Wan’s and the younger man allowed himself to thrust against Qui-Gon once more, making him grunt with exertion. Qui-Gon moved with him and the heat of ecstasy began to build again. Obi-Wan ground his hips harder against Qui-Gon’s, thrilling to the feel of Qui-Gon’s penis moving in and out of him. Qui-Gon’s hands were on Obi-Wan’s hips and he pressed Obi-Wan’s ass against him and added his own strength to his hips. Obi-Wan’s gasps became louder as the motion became faster and faster.  
Suddenly, the orgasm burst through him like a rogue wave flowing up from his groin, spreading out and through him entire body. His cum spilled across Qui-Gon’s stomach. He half cried out to Qui-Gon and clenched the older man’s shoulders as though he was afraid to fall from the pleasure. The Master held him steady and continued thrusting into him, keeping the motion that held him soaring steady. Obi-Wan heard his own cries of pleasure, his voice urging Qui-Gon on, demanding more as the Master’s deep, throaty laughter responded to him. Obi-Wan wanted to ride this crest forever.  
Suddenly Qui-Gon’s hand enfolded Obi-Wan’s cock once more. Pumping quickly, bringing the young man to hardness and over the edge as another wave of ecstasy rushed through Obi-Wan with such force his cry of pleasure cleared to a scream.  
Obi-Wan felt he was sinking into himself once more. Qui-Gon’s hands and arms supported him as he slumped half conscious onto Qui-Gon’s body. He rolled Obi-Wan onto his side, tossing the pillows out of the way and he murmured with pleasure.  
“Oh, Qui,” he crooned, drunk with the sensual delight shimmering through him body, “Please, don’t stop yet.”  
“Only when you wish me to.” Qui-Gon’s whisper teased Obi-Wan’s cheeks and Qui-Gon slid the tip of his tongue along Obi-Wan’s jaw and slid himself between his legs. He rolled Obi-Wan onto his back and moved on top of him, his weight pressing the younger man into the bed, his mouth against his, opening his lips to accept another long, wet kiss.  
Obi-Wan murmured with pleasure as Qui-Gon eased his hips down on Obi-Wan’s then slid his hands along Obi-Wan’s thighs and caught both his legs beneath the knees and slid them up around his waist, opening him like a flower once more.  
Obi-Wan sighed and opened his eyes wide as he felt his strength returning in a rush. He winked at Qui-Gon with a wicked grin.  
“Aren’t you going to kiss me, Qui?” he teased.  
“Anything you wish, my Bunnie-wunnie,” Qui-Gon promised, his choice of pet name sending Obi-Wan into gales of laughter, then Qui-Gon’s mouth forced Obi-Wan’s open wider so he could savor the Master’s tongue again. He swallowed a squeal as the cold lube lapped his still tingling entrance.  
“Say ‘ahhh’,” Qui-Gon crooned teasingly, making Obi-Wan giggle again before he shrieked with another sudden climax as Qui-Gon plunged himself easily into him, the larger man’s weight made him seem to be deeper inside this way.  
Obi-Wan clutched Qui-Gon, his legs wrapped around Qui-Gon’s ass, panting once more. Qui-Gon chuckled and let Obi-Wan catch his breath before Qui-Gon wrapped his tongue around Obi-Wan’s and sucked it eagerly, mimicking the movements of his orgasm when Obi-Wan had tensed himself around him.  
“Over . . . Grown . . . Fambaa lizard in rut,” Obi-Wan panted when he freed his mouth. He pressed up on his elbows, arching his head back, letting Qui-Gon, willing his Qui to get a firmer grip on him.  
“Hard not to be with you around,” Qui-Gon teased in his turn. “You are a quick study, my bunnie.”  
His arms slid up Obi-Wan’s back, his strong, rough hands caught Obi-Wan’s shoulders from behind, supporting him against the bed and holding him steady.  
“Hard not to be with you around,” Obi-Wan repeated, giggling as he wrapped his arms around Qui-Gon’s neck, thrilling to his seeming insatiable hunger for him. Qui-Gon pushed forward and Obi-Wan lost his breath in a gasp as Qui-Gon thrust in deeper still. Slowly, Qui-Gon began to grind his body against Obi-Wan’s, then faster and faster as he demanded more, panting for air, as he did. The friction of his groin rubbing hard against Obi-Wan’s cock forced Obi-Wan to come yet again. But this time it was stronger and sharper.  
“Aaaah, Qui help me I . . . I . . . ” as his cum sprayed between them.  
“Here,” as Qui-Gon caught his wrists and helped Obi-Wan to grab a couple of the railings of the headboard which made his body open even further for Qui-Gon as Obi-Wan’s breathing became as labored as Qui-Gon’s. The sweet shock of delight was like electricity through Obi-Wan but his cries were stifled as Qui-Gon clamped his mouth on Obi-Wan’s. He swallowed Obi-Wan’s moan of enjoyment, as the younger man delighted in the heavy throbbing as Qui-Gon’s powerful body repeatedly pushed his into the bed. Qui-Gon’s pulsing weight crushing him, his mouth suddenly lowered and sucked hard on first one nipple then the other causing another orgasm to sizzle through Obi-Wan making him scream in almost blinding pleasure.  
Suddenly, Qui-Gon sat up quickly, pulling out of Obi-Wan, making him gasp with surprise.  
“Qui! No! You can’t stop! Not now!!” he panted.  
“Patience, little one,” The Master growled, flashing him another wicked grin and tossing back his long hair. He grabbed Obi-Wan’s hips, turning him onto him belly, making him squeal with surprise and anticipation.  
“Sith! Are you serious?” he gasped, as a well-muscled arm snaked around him waist pulling him hips upward and against his belly.  
“Spread your knees, Initiate and feel the power of the Force within us.”  
Obi-Wan gasped as Qui-Gon gripped his right thigh and tugged his legs further apart to straddle his knees. Obi-Wan dropped forward onto his elbows and clutched the top of the mattress. He licked his lips and arched his ass higher against Qui-Gon’s stomach and mewling with eagerness.  
“Hurry . . .” he urged.  
“Here . . . something to keep you occupied, my Bunnie-wunnie,” Qui-Gon growled teasingly as both his arms tightened around Obi-Wan’s hips and the one of Qui-Gon’s hands slid down, parting the soft curls, to find his cock and, catching it, began pumping quickly.  
“More, precious?” Qui-Gon crooned in Obi-Wan’s ear as he tightened his grip.  
Obi-Wan gasped and moaned. “Oh yesyesyes . . . ”  
His words were lost in a husky cry as the flash heat of his climax burst through him again a Qui-Gon shoved himself even deeper into Obi-Wan’s ass, repeatedly touching, rubbing the sensitive gland deep within. His fingers kept their pace, turning Obi-Wan’s moans into long, loud wails of desire. The gruff sound of Qui-Gon’s heavy breathing behind Obi-Wan excited him anticipation of more pleasure. He arching himself back upwards, helping Qui-Gon thrust deeper, forcing the open-mouthed cries from Obi-Wan’s throat as orgasm shook him.  
“More . . . More,” Obi-Wan managed before another hoarse scream of ecstasy was forced from him.  
Qui-Gon’s answer was a deep growl of raw need and he knew Qui-Gon was having his pleasure as his grip tightened around Obi-Wan’s hips, his hand pumped harder and faster, as Qui-Gon was shoving himself as deeply into Obi-Wan as he could, each time with a growled “yes”, each time pressing answering cries from him.  
“Aaaa . . . Qui . . . More . . . ” but Obi-Wan’s voice broke into another ecstatic shriek that became a wail as with a grunt of animal lust, Qui-Gon’s large hands clamped hard around Obi-Wan’s hips and drove them against his own as he bucked harder and faster within Obi-Wan, forcing even louder cries of pleasure from his throat. The full power of Qui-Gon’s body rushed through him. Obi-Wan was loving this rough pleasure more than anything he had ever known. He felt Qui-Gon come within him as orgasm sharpened his own cries to piercing screams.  
Suddenly his strength vanished and he collapsed on the bed, his throat still gasping and crying with pleasure. Qui-Gon sank down on him with a groan of exhaustion but still trapping Obi-Wan against his body, rolled onto his side. Obi-Wan moaned tiredly as he felt Qui-Gon pulled free of him, smiling as he heard the Master’s gruff sigh of satisfaction. Lips caressed and nibbled all down Obi-Wan’s neck as they lay spent and tangled together.  
“Qui . . . ” he managed, in a hoarse whisper, struggling to crawl onto his belly. He turned to see Qui-Gon gasping beside him, leaning on one elbow, his other arm loosely across Obi-Wan’s back. His hair fell about him in wet ropes as sweat dripped from his face to the sheets. His eyes met Qui-Gon’s and somehow Qui-Gon found the strength to grin wickedly at the younger man. Obi-Wan choked on a tiny giggle and had to shove his hair away from sticking to his face and eyes as he found he was as soaked with sweat as Qui-Gon was. He blinked as exhaustion started to creep into him body.  
“Obi-Wan . . . My sweet Obi-Wan.”  
“Master . . . ” he managed as Qui-Gon leaned close and kissed him tenderly then turned reached down and pulled the covers over them. He fell asleep as Qui-Gon softly kissed him shoulder once more.

Obi-Wan yawned and cracked an eye open, he felt warm, sated and a little aroused, His entire body sparkled with remembered pleasure of the night before, rather a few scant hours ago. A moment later, a movement caught his eye as he was peeking out from under the covers. His Qui bent over and peered back at him.  
“Sleepy, Bunnie-wunnie?”  
Obi giggled at Qui-Gon’s teasing and hiked himself up on his elbows to squint up at his lover. Qui-Gon, dressed in sleep breeches, was holding a tray which had a teapot, two cups and several yummy looking pastries in it. Obi-Wan sat up sniffing at the aroma of spice tea eagerly.  
Qui-Gon sat on the bed and placed the tray on the smoothed blanket between them. Qui-Gon poured out tea for both of them. Obi cocked his head then decided it was time for his Qui to learn a little of Naboo’s traditions.  
“Boombabad Sun,” Obi-Wan cooed. Qui-Gon looked up a questioning look in his eyes. Obi-Wan batted his eyelashes then said, “The response is Maxi-big Sky.” Qui-Gon looked at him, then smiled, his lips parted to speak.  
“Boombabad Sun.” Obi-Wan whispered. Qui-Gon smiled and leaned nearer,  
“Maxi-big Sky.”  
Obi-Wan placed his hands on Qui-Gon’s shoulders and kissed him fondly on the mouth. He then turned his attention to the food. He glanced up when Qui-Gon didn’t stir and saw the Jedi Master smiling at him a mixture of wonder, amusement and something sweeter in his eyes.  
“What?” Obi-Wan asked. Qui-Gon shook his head and helped himself to a pastry.  
Obi-Wan lay back replete with food and feeling wonderful about the entire universe. Qui-Gon rested a hand upon his knee,  
“Bunnie-wunnie, I have a meeting in an hour and you have classes today. Would you like to shower with me before we begin the business of the day?”  
Obi-Wan nodded his enthusiasm and hopped from his rest. Obi-Wan willingly followed the Master back into the large shower stall and sighed with pleasure as the heat of the water smoothed his still soft muscles. He was nearly purring when Qui-Gon caught up his hair and began to wash it for him again. The Master seemed to love playing with the ruddy curls. He relaxed and pressed himself against the Master and immediately felt Qui-Gon’s arousal. Obi-Wan bit his lip against a laugh remembering his new nickname. Well, if that was how the Master saw him, he had best live up to the reputation. Obi pressed his ass against the hardness behind him. He tossed a playful look over his shoulder. Qui-Gon’s eyes narrowed with mischief. Suddenly Obi was snatched around the hips, his back pressed against the cool tiles and Qui-Gon shoved up against him, the Master’s mouth plundering the younger man’s. Obi-Wan moaned deep in his throat as the rest of his mouth was too full of Qui-Gon’s lapping tongue for anything else. To his pleasure, Qui-Gon held him against the tiles then, with a grunt of animal pleasure, thrust his cock deep within Obi-Wan once more. Obi-Wan has a split second to be pleased that some of the mixture of oil, sweat and cum was still in his ass, making Qui-Gon’s morning entrance almost as pleasurable as last nights. Obi-Wan gasped and moaned louder then managed to stammer out his enjoyment and need,  
Yes . . . Oh, Qui . . . More . . . Harder . . . Harder . . . Yesyesyes!!! Oh Yes! Oh Qui! Fuck Me! Fuck Me! Fuck Me Hard!”  
The last ended with in a scream of ecstasy. Obi-Wan came as Qui-Gon’s hot seed pulsed into him.  
Panting Qui-Gon held Obi-Wan close as he slowly slid to the floor and laid his gasping, trembling toy down on the floor to catch his breath. Obi-Wan caught hold of Qui-Gon’s hair and pulled his face down for a long sensuous kiss.  
“Bunnie enough for you, my Qui?” Obi-Wan whispered hoarsely. Qui-Gon rained light kisses all over the young initiate’s face, then smiled.  
“Bunnie? Obi, the last time I saw or for that matter, heard that kind of horniness and outright fucking was the time I was visiting the Ambassador to Rhodia and was taken to the Royal zoo to witness the mega-rangatanges mate. You seem to have their enthusiasm not to mention virility”  
Obi-Wan managed a giggle.  
“Are you accusing me of wild monkey sex, Master Jinn? May I suggest you examine your own reflection before attaching such celebrity to an innocent such as myself.”

Obi-Wan stood beside Master Jinn as Jinn spoke with Master Depa Billaba. The Chalactain humanoid woman smiled gently at the initiate. Obi-Wan looked at her curiously. He had heard his Aunt speak warmly of this woman and her mate of two standard years, fellow Council Member Adi Gallia. Master Depa smiled at Obi-Wan,  
“Welcome to my class, Initiate Kenobi, please come in and we’ll begin. Obi-Wan looked up at Master Jinn, who leaned close to murmur,  
“I will meet with you later, my Obi.”  
“For more monkey sex, Master Jinn?” Obi-Wan hissed under his breath and grinned hugely at the Jedi Master whose cheek colored faintly, gave him an amused, exasperated look and bowed quickly to Master Depa. Obi-Wan turned and unintentionally gave Master Depa the remaining benefit of his impish grin. Master Depa’s eyebrow hit her hairline but she merely shooed him into the room with a gesture.  
Obi-Wan looked about, suddenly terribly shy at all the faces of Padawans all about his age who were all staring at him. He had dressed in his formal old-fashioned Initiate whites again.  
There was a tiny squeak from across the room. Obi-Wan looked and his grin returned with a warm feeling of happiness.  
Sabé was seated across the room. Her whole face was smiling and she was rapidly patting the bench seat next to her. Hant and Pehkk were seated in front of her.  
Obi-Wan bowed to Master Depa and scuttled across the room at high speed in a way that made all his achievement beads on his belt, hood and boot ties ringing like tiny bells. He hopped with a curl of the Force and landed in the seat and dropping his datapad on the desk and wrapped Sabé in a cuddly hug, smooching her forehead affectionately making her giggle hysterically. Hunt leaned in for a greeting. She looked a little surprised when Obi-Wan in his happy morning hyperness snatched her bodily across his desk for her morning smooch. Pehkk didn’t escape either but he didn’t have his sisters lightness so Obi-Wan arms wrapped themselves about his neck and the resulting hug made the lackluster padawan briefly pale blue and he made vague coughing noises for the rest of the class.  
Master Depa went to the front.  
“Welcome to you all to the start of Sexual Diversity and Intergalactic Physical Bonding Behaviors 101.”  
Obi-Wan settled himself to listen and learn. As the class progressed, he was rather surprised at the other Padawan’s open mouth reactions to what he considered elementary knowledge of other cultures. Of course Master Yoda had encouraged them all to read on their own and during the rainy season Obi-Wan spent most of his days wallowing in his Trainer’s extensive library.  
“Initiate, please tell me,” Master Depa asked him out of the blue. “Are you familiar with the Dug species?” She smiled sweetly.  
Obi-Wan sighed shaking his head, “Well, Master Depa I can assure you and anyone else who may be remotely interested, that my creche-mate Maul has a taxidermied one that he fashioned into a merkin which he has worn to Hoth.”  
Obi-Wan turned to his three friends confiding, “Maul tends to hoard merkins and sex toys. I believe he plans to own the definitive collection.  
Master Depa clapped her hands, “Forgive me students but I must attend an appointment of deepest importance . . . right now. Walk mindfully until your next class . . . ” And she was gone.  
Obi-Wan sighed as he walked slowly between Sabé and Hunt. Pehkk walked a little ahead. The other three were chatting happily. Obi-Wan felt a ripple that seemed to come from wherever the core of this strange city planets was beneath the depth of the skyscrapers. He looked up at the sky which was clouding over. He was certain it was going to do something. The other three were chattering about the latest Temple gossip being that the High Council Meeting which had let out a mere hour ago was strange as many claimed they had heard the High Council members laughing like drunken jawas.  
Obi-Wan looked up. There it was. He smiled. It was snowing.  
“Oooo, look.” There were various call and squeals from the other Padawans who were walking about the meditation garden. Sabé was entranced. She had never seen snow before. The four went on together as the snow fell merrily around them.  
Unlike Naboo where the warm ground would often melt the ice crystal as they landed until the build up was too much. Here on Coruscant there was only buildings and no earth-born heat. The snow began piling up right away.  
As they walked for another hour the snow got deeper and deeper. They started to go back to the main area to go in. Obi-Wan couldn’t resist any more. He reached down and scooped a handful patting it into a firm round ball. He looked up and saw that his companions were staring at him fascinated.  
“Whatever are you doing, Obi?” Hunt asked in genuine interest.  
“Making a snow ball.”  
“What are you going to do with it? Pehkk asked. Obi-Wan stared. How could they possibly be so ignorant?!? His reply was to throw the ball directly into Pehkk’s face. The Padawan was totally unprepared for such a trick and stood stock still as the ball exploded against his face and left him cold, wet and a little puzzled. Hunt and Sabé started to laugh. This galvanized Pehkk to try and create a ball of his own. He threw this at Obi-Wan but Obi-Wan had ‘snow in the wild’ experience and ducked easily  
“You missed!’ he teased, laughing and made another ball and tucked it under his arm and made a second. Hunt got in on the act but she didn’t bind hers tightly enough and it disintegrated in mid flight. Obi-Wan hit her tunic neck-line with another of his missiles making her scream just like Jah’nne as the cold leaked into her tunic and startled her breasts. Sabé made the mistake of laughing out loud. Obi-Wan‘s aim was perfect and the young one was soon spitting and choking as well as giggling.  
Chaos ensued as the other three got the hang of snowball fighting and soon they were joined by other Padawans whooping and laughing in the cold slippery courtyard. There was no effort to choose sides or gang up. It was a vast confused free-for-all and soon the courtyard was a melee of randomly flung snow and Padawans chasing each other all around the area.  
No one heard the gong for the evening meal, No one heard the double doors open and no one noticed the Masters who came out. But everyone turned and was silent as Master Jinn stood and roared at them to stop.  
In that minuscule instant, Master Jinn stepped forth and shouted. Obi-Wan left fly a large well-made snowball at Sabé who was suddenly no longer standing in front of the Temple doors. The ball flew directly at the space she had previously occupied which was now occupied by Master Jinn.  
Obi-Wan screamed “Look out!” just as the snowball became one with Master Jinn’s face.  
The silence that ensued was tangible and charged with an energy that was all but visible. Padawans melted to invisible like ice-candy in a Tatooine summer sun. Master Jinn wiped the snow from his face and looked at his attacker. Obi-Wan stood frozen, his hands clamped over his mouth in a picture perfect study of utter horror.  
“Initiate. You seem fond of snowballs fights.” Jinn commented. He turned and shrugged off his brown robe handed it to Master Eeth Koth who was standing beside him, shaking like an electric massager.  
Obi-Wan had a split second to scream again before Master Jinn was coming for him. He turned and fled toward the meditation gardens, halfway up the hill Jinn caught him in a messy full body tackle. Obi-Wan went face first into the drift and sliding a few feet before he could get his senses together. He started to struggle but Master Jinn was sitting on him before he had time to even consider his position.  
“Bunnie-wunnie, you seem to be in a rather unprotected position.” Qui-Gon murmured pleasantly in his ear. Obi-Wan giggled nervously,  
“Perhaps we should go in and gather condoms to rectify this.” He babbled hoping against hope that he would find some excuse to escape. Qui-Gon just chuckled leisurely, “The only thing infectious around here, Bunnie-wunnie, is lust.”  
Obi-Wan panted a little and raised himself on his elbows. This unfortunate move exposed his neck and collar-bone and Qui-Gon smoothly scooped a handful of snow and with great enjoyment stuffed it down Obi-Wan’s tunic, improving the movement by trapping the initiate between his knees and left elbow and thoroughly rubbing the slush over the younger man’s chest and stomach.  
Obi-Wan did not, until that moment, realized just how loud he was capable of screaming. Apparently Qui-Gon was not satisfied with that, and with another larger handful of snow, one-handed and Force-aided, he managed to roll the initiate over enough to reach up his tunic and cover his back too.  
Obi-Wan was laughing so hard by now he could scarcely breath. The snow was so cold and Qui-Gon’s big heavy body was so hot against him. The snow that was then rubbed down his trousers and massaged into his cock and sac was an exercise in blissful torture. He screamed again and realized that if he took another hit he was going to cum in his pants.  
“Please, Qui!” He managed to gasp out.  
“Please what, bunnie-sweet?” Qui-Gon was almost purring. Obi-Wan realized that if they stayed where they were he was most likely going to be fucked thoroughly in front of the entire Temple. If he could get Qui-Gon to get him upstairs at least they could have a little privacy and no little comfort for their naughty practices.  
“Take me, my Qui.”  
Qui-Gon smiled and raised off, then scooped the young man off the ground and carried him into the Temple.  
It was only when they got into the warmth and the doors were closed that Obi-Wan started shivering.  
“Look at that poor child!”  
Master Depa hurried forward and snatched Jinn’s robe from Master Eeth and wrapped it around Obi-Wan. The young man was grateful but could not say so his teeth were chattering so hard. Master Adi Galia came forward as well and began to rub Obi-Wan’s shoulders through the warm material.  
“Qui-Gon, you shouldn’t play so roughly with him. He is not a trained Padawan.”  
The tall humanoid female, whose dark skin unlike Master Windu’s was tinged with blue, scolded gently. Qui-Gon looked at Obi-Wan who was cuddling the robe to him shivering and hoping no one would notice the size and hardness of his erection.  
“He liked it.” Jinn smiled naughtily and came forward to pinch Obi-Wan’s chin, making the initiate giggle while still shaking.  
“Get that child upstairs and warm him.” Master Depa nagged aloud then in a softer tone only her mate and the two lovers could hear, “And in whatever manner the pair of you find most conducive to warming.”  
Obi-Wan giggled again as he saw Master Jinn wink at Master Adi, who was grinning like an aroused Hutt, except, of course, she was monumentally more pleasing to the eye.  
Qui-Gon carried his Obi upstairs to his chambers once more. Obi-Wan wiggled out of his arms once he heard the door secure itself. He started trying to undo the sopping cold material but Qui-Gon just grabbed his tunic and hauled him back into the shower. Obi-Wan was delighted as he was roughly stripped and soaped beneath stinging hot water. He could hear water going somewhere else nearby and nearly squealed with delight when his Qui carried him through to the next room where there was a lovely tub about half the size of the giant one in the gymnasium.  
Qui-Gon lowered him in and he leaned against the smooth tiled side and sighed with hedonistic pleasure.  
“Join me, my Qui?”  
“Could you doubt it, Bunnie-wunnie?”

Later that night Obi-Wan awoke and suddenly realized that his Aunt and Uncle would be back in the morning. He became very alert. He would have to go back to Lam’tonne. He would have to pretend his Qui was a respectable Jedi Master. He glanced over at Qui-Gon’s sleeping form. How dull it would seem after these heady day’s of passion, fun and love. Love.   
Obi-Wan climbed out of the bed silently and crept to the large window. He stared unseeing out at the city whose business recognized neither night nor day. Of everything he had expected to happen he had not bargained for this. He knew that Qui-Gon was the only person he would ever love, could ever love. No Master would take him with such a powerful feeling draining all emotion away from any other kind of bond. Obi-Wan sighed, he had never felt so close to anyone before.   
Even his tie to Beloved Master Yoda paled in comparison to what he felt for Jinn. Obi-Wan shivered he would have to hide this from both Jinn and his relations. It would be far more difficult if not impossible with Jinn.   
Obi-Wan reflected that he had given himself away without thinking and without a single thought for his own well-being. He did not blame Jinn, he could only blame himself if he so chose to but he could not. The feelings and the tie he felt to Jinn was genuine and he knew deep inside was the will of the Force.   
He turned and looked about him. Jinn was soundly asleep on the huge bed they now shared. Pillows were tossed aside to fall to the floor. The lamp on the bedside table was on its lowest setting.   
It was a Ti’iph-Ahnee, Obi-Wan knew, only the small delicate fingered Ti’iphs could work liquid crystals into such colors and extravagant shapes. He admired it, then his gaze fell on the small box sitting next to the lamp’s base. It was made of mah’ohg’nee of great rarity. The wood was not treated or carved in anyway but was perfect in its own simplicity.   
Something about the box drew Obi-Wan to it. He slowly lifted it, half suspecting that he would find a picture or keep-sake from Master Windu or some lover who had or still did hold the heart of the Jedi Master. Inside was lined with the finest scarlet septsilk and the only thing inside was a single red-gold love curl whose end declared it to have been cut from the bearer’s own head by a lightsaber.   
Tears blinded Obi-Wan as he gently set the box down. The Master had kept that curl since their tourney together at NethaTheed.   
A hand on his own raised his eyes. Jinn was smiling softly at him and lacing his fingers into Obi-Wan’s.  
“I have something for you, my bunnie.”  
Eyes still stinging, Obi-Wan shook his head.  
“I don't want it back . . . ”   
There was a soft chuckle and while Obi-Wan was scrubbing the tears away with his fists Qui-Gon removed another small box this time from the drawer of the bedside table. He sat up and handed it to Obi-Wan who, with a watery sniff and pushing his tangled hair off his face, accepted and pecked the Master’s cheek.   
He opened the small casket, there in a next of pale lavendar Alderaanian satin was a slender milky-silver chain. The only adornment to it was a tiny pendant. It was an outline of a five pointed star that was enclosed in a circle. Obi-Wan recognized it immediately as the Ancient Jedi symbol of the Force representing the five eternal elements; Soul, Stone, Breath, Burning and Liquid encircled by the ring of harmony. It was so fragile and delicate and beautiful, Obi-Wan was at a loss for words, he stared wide-eyed at Qui-Gon.  
“It was given to me by my Master when I was a Padawan. I and a former Creche-mate then another Master’s Padawan and I began our first sexual experience together. My Master gifted me with this chain. I want you to have it.”  
“Oh, Master . . . Qui, I cannot. You should keep it. It’s very special- ”  
Qui-Gon lifted the chain from its nest and, slipping his hands about Obi-Wan’s neck, fastened the chain and straightened the pendant to rest on the top of Obi-Wan’s breast bone. Qui-Gon paused then softly kissed the hollow of Obi-Wan throat illiciting a soft murmur of pleasure from the younger man.   
“You are right Initiate, it is very special. Which is why I want you to have it.”  
Obi-Wan smiled through fresh tears and lifted his lips for another far-sweeter kiss.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And off we go!!!!!
> 
> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Obi-Wan rushed down the stairs and out onto the landing pad just as the air-taxi slowed and landed. He rushed to hug Auntie Yaddle and Uncle Yaeral as they stepped form the taxi. Both laughed and cuddled him warmly. Aunt Yaddle regarded him with a quizzical eye.  
“You look much better, Obi-Bunnie. I take it you have enjoyed your time at the Temple?”  
“Yes, Auntie, they have been very kind to me.” Obi-Wan folded his hands and tried to look serene but couldn’t wipe the silly grin off his face.  
Master Jinn arrived with several of the other Masters. He gently placed his hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder.   
“Welcome back Master Yaddle and Master Poof. I was delighted to hear that you enjoyed your mission and that it went so well. As you see we have attempted to keep your nephew amused to the best of our Force-given abilities.”  
All the Masters giggled indulgently as Obi-Wan blushed hotly.  
They all went into the Temple. Master Jinn walked with Obi-Wan as they followed the returned Masters. Obi-Wan was very interested to finally see his relations’ cozy apartments in the Main Temple. He went immediately and began to make his relatives tea and snackies.   
Master Jinn, Master Eeth Koth and Master Ki-Adi-Mundi seated themselves comfortably about to chat with Poof and Yaddle about the convention, the people they had met and to generally pick over the entire mission to their complete satisfaction.  
Obi-Wan silently served tea and snackies which surprised and pleased the visitors, then curled on the window seat partially hidden by the curtain. He knew that if he stayed out of the way he would hear the good stuff. He was not disappointed.   
The Supreme Chancellor had been caught in a raid on a spanking den owned by Jabba the Hutt. He had paid a fountain of credits to have the whole thing hushed up. Jabba was run off the system and rumor had it that he had fled to Tatooine, a name synonymous with being socially dead.  
The commentary went on to talk of people Obi-Wan had never heard of and he fell into thinking about how good Master Jinn’s tongue had felt last night in the shower. Just remembering how he had been slammed against the shower wall and fucked until he screamed, brought a warm throbbing throughout his body. Then being laid on the floor where Jinn had given him head until he almost passed out. He smiled to the sky outside. Yes, he’d had a lovely time here at the Temple.   
“Obi-Wan!”   
He nearly jumped out of his skin.  
“Yes, Auntie?”  
“What are you doing?”  
Faced with six Jedi Master staring at him and five on the High Council stopped him cold he swallowed and felt rather sick  
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be broadcasting I’ll never forget to shield myself again!” he shrieked, horrified to think how much of Jinn’s sexual exploits were now part of their knowledge. Yaddle raised an eyebrow at him.   
“Your shields are fine, dear, in fact they are so well I’d like to know how much of our conversation you heard?”  
Obi-Wan thought then,  
“Just the stuff about the Supreme Chancellor and Jabba. You started talking about people I didn’t know after that so I started thinking about . . . other things,” he answered honestly. There was a combined sigh of relief and a few guilty exchanges of looks.   
“I missed all the good bits, didn’t I?” Obi-Wan realized it was safe to be playful again. Yaddle gave him a reproving look and shooed him out.   
“The reason I started to look for you is because Padawan Hunt just informed us that there is a holovid for you from Jah’nne.”  
Obi-Wan rushed down the stairs barely remembering to bow politely to the Masters before he hurled himself out of the room.  
He found Hunt and smooched her loudly and scampered back to the quarters he was sharing with Master Jinn. There were two datapads. He was relieved to finally hear from his Creche-mate. He looked the download codes and realized that she had very nearly sent the first one to a nonexistent Temple on Endor she had programmed the codes so ill.  
He flopped on the bed and popped the first holovid and was rewarded with the holo of his favorite Creche-mate  
“Dearest Obi-Bunnie  
I hope this finds you having as much  
fun as you had hoped.  
We continue here happy and well.  
I miss you greatly as does our Trainer.  
Khi’to and Flas are spending lots of time  
at Otoh gunga and I have started  
helping a the local day- care Center  
in Theed. Our Mistress finds the young  
children smelly and vile and she keeps  
much to her room of with Mistress  
Phee’leeps.”  
The holovid cut then began again. The record date showing a day later. Jah’nne looked slightly agitated. Obi-Wan raised and eyebrow and focused his attention fully on his Creche-mate’s words.  
“Oh, dearest, Obi. Since recording   
the above something has occurred of a   
most unexpected and serious nature, but   
I am afraid of alarming you, be assured that we  
are all well. What I have to say related to   
poor Maul. An alarmed Express was   
downloaded a midnight last night hauling all   
of us out of bed, it was from Senator   
Horox Ryyder, to inform us that Maul was   
in a half bond state with one of the  
senators, to fess up . . . Senator Palpatine!   
Imagine our surprise. To Khi’to however   
it does not seem wholly unexpected. I am  
very, very sorry. So imprudent a   
match on both sides. I am willing to   
hope the best and that his character   
has been misunderstood. Their choice   
of each other is disinterested at   
least and purely sexual at most for   
they know our Trainer can do nothing   
for them. Our poor mistress is sadly   
grieved and has been having screaming   
fits every forty-five minutes. I must  
conclude as the Mistress has been   
shrieking for me again.   
I will send more when I have news.”

Obi-Wan tossed the download aside and snatched up the other, his hands shaking as he readied the datapad and stared transfixed as His Creche-mate appeared again the record dated a mere day after the first  
Dearest Obi,  
I hardly know what to say but I have bad news.   
Imprudent as a partial bonding may have been   
we now fear that it has been in the Sith tradition.   
They were traced as far as Alderann and are   
believed to have continued on to Coruscant.   
Both the senator and his consort are most sorry   
and the senator now fears that Palpatine is not to   
be trusted. Our Master is planning on going to   
Coruscant and our Mistress is now taking a cocktail   
of anti-depressents, caffeine and sugar pills. I beg you   
now to ask our Aunt and Uncle to come home as quickly  
as possible. I’m scared that our Trainer will slap both   
Maul and Palpatine around and such violence against   
an elected official cannot be conducive to creating a   
consort bond.”

“Yes!” cried Obi-Wan and jumped off the bed. His mind going a lightyear a minute. If they had been traced to Coruscant how difficult would it be for him to find Maul. Maul and he, though they annoyed the crap out of each other, did share a bond of sorts. Palpatine did not know that Obi-Wan was on Coruscant.   
Obi-Wan glanced about. He pounced on his bags and dug through his shopping. Carefully pulling out a sturdy pair of dark blue working breeches and some rugged travel boots. He hauled out a black jerkin and utility belt. He pulled on a gray poncho and beneath this he attached his lightsaber and a pouch of credits. He peeked out. No one was about, his shields were tight and every one was in class or the Masters were meeting, meditating or teaching. He kept to the shadows and hurried out of the Temple.  
It was easy to flag an air-taxi and he instructed the pilot to take him to the nearest crossing station for Alderaan transports. The pilot was helpful enough to give him the names and locations of the 26 class-stations on the planet.   
He spent most of the rest of the day traveling form one space port to another. By dawn he had found three possible traces. He was able to find a quiet spot in a park to meditate briefly on the leads he had. He was careful with his shields. Reaching only into the Force. Certain that the lead which seemed to lead into the gambling areas of the planet was the right one, for where else on the planet could an elected official be so well concealed.  
He strolled carelessly through the place. He kept his shields tight and his hands tucked close under his poncho, guarding his saber and credits. He did his level best to look bored but he had never been a gambling hell before and the sights and smells that assaulted his senses were truly disgusting. He was in something from a quandary. He had shielded himself carefully, he knew that the pair were somewhere here but what he was to do now he was unsure. He leaned against a wall and peered about.  
His poncho was grabbed and he was jerked into an alley. He instantly punched his attacker and Master Tinn fell back with an expelled ‘huff’. Master Jinn grabbed the young would-be rescuer and slapped his hand over his mouth. Despite his struggles, the two Masters hauled him into a dark hidie-hole. Obi-Wan felt their combined shield slamming around him and he gasped a little. Both Masters were also glaring at him.  
“What exactly do you think you are doing, Initiate?”   
Obi-Wan could almost see the tiny icicles hanging off every one of Jinn’s words. He drew himself up.  
“The holovids from Jah’nne . . . ”  
“We know about them. Your Aunt and Uncle played them for us. What are you doing?”  
“I have to help Maul.” Obi-Wan insisted, “He’s young, attractive, and stupid. He has no true idea of what he has gotten himself into. If I can get him alone, I’m sure I can talk him into coming home and if not I can mind-whammie him away with me.”  
“Initiate, don’t you think Palpatine knows that? Don’t you think he failed to cover his tracks for a reason? Don’t you think he knows that of all your Creche you would be the one most likely to leap to Maul’s rescue?”  
Obi-Wan stared at Jinn.  
“What are you saying?”  
“Obi-Wan, do you know how high your midi-chlorian level is?”  
“Of course I do!” the Initiate cried indignantly.  
“What a prize for a Sith.” Master Tiin commented softly. Obi-Wan realized what both Masters thought was going on; he paused then considered his feelings. He raised his eyes to Master Jinn.  
“I must try. I know it’s a terrible risk but it’s one I am willing to take. He is my youngest Creche-mate. He’s a total idiot, but I was there to help when he was hatched and I won’t abandon him now.”   
He pulled a little but Jinn’s hand closed like a vice about his arm.  
“And I forbid you.”  
Obi-Wan was still and silent as he felt Jinn’s hand slide away from him. He knew that it was crunch time. He swallowed carefully, reached into his jerkin and unfastened the chain. He pressed it into Jinn’s hands saying softly.  
“Please understand that this is something I must do. If I do not, at least try, then I have no right to return to my Creche- or even face myself in a mirror again. You are a Jedi Master and as much as I respect your standing, as much as I respect and esteem you as a living being . . . .”, tears sparked behind Obi-Wan’s eyes as he forced his next words,   
“I am not bonded to you, you are not my Master. You have no jurisdiction over me or my choice of actions.”   
He bowed low, embarrassed that he had the courage to conduct this escapade but lacked the heart to look Jinn in the eyes again. He bowed to Tiin who stared at him like a statue. Obi-Wan forced himself to turn and look out at the gambling hell again.   
“I will never see him again,” he whispered to himself. He closed his eyes and breathed the shattered remains of his young heart into the Force.  
“Obi-Wan?”  
Obi-Wan turned and his entire field of vision was filled with dark midnight blue eyes.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

Obi-Wan blinked and looked about himself. The ceiling was domed like his bedroom ceiling back at the Creche. He stared at it then realized he was looking at his bedroom ceiling at the Creche. He sat up. Jah’nne looked up from her datapad.

“Oh, Obi-Bunnie, I am so happy to see you!” 

The Creche-mates hugged, smooched and held each other close while Jah’nne explained to her puzzled Creche-mate that their aunt and Uncle had dropped him off the other day and returned to Coruscant to aide Master Yoda in his searches. Obi-Wan had been drugged into sleep and had been comatose for nearly two full days.

Obi-Wan thought back to the last thing he remembered in that filthy alley on Coruscant. Master Jinn. He sighed. Master Jinn had mind-whammied him and then he had been drugged and brought home. He looked at himself. It was as though Coruscant had never happened. He was attired in his traditional sleep wear and his dark blue shawl with the beloved star patterns was about his shoulders. He slid his feet out from under the covers.

“I must get washed and dressed, Jah’nne. I imagine the Mistress will want you back.”  
Jah’nne sighed. “She has been asking for you every five minutes since dawn. She nearly drove Aunt and Uncle to distraction and Khi’to and Flas have been locked in their rooms ever since.”

At Obi-Wan’s raised eyebrows, Jah’nne hurriedly explained that the old nursery apartment was being used and the two had room to eat, sleep and generally get on each others nerves as often as they could wish to. 

Obi-Wan slipped into fresh clothes and re-braided his hair and decided he would do. He peered into the mirror. There resting on the top of his breast bone was a beautiful necklace and a tiny orb. Tears filled his eyes, at least Jinn had cared enough to forgive him this though he could not imagine the Jedi Master associating himself with a Creche that was now almost assuredly allied with the Sith. Obi-Wan stared at his reflection and calmed himself.

 

“I blame those Ryyders. Maul is not the sort of being to do this sort of thing! If he’s properly disciplined and chained to the bed post at night.” 

The violence of Mistress Fan’iy’s howl made everyone in the room wince and one of the older window panes to crack unhappily. 

Obi-Wan had come to see his Mistress and after smooching her politely had been ordered to sit with Khi’to, Flas and Jah’nne in an orderly line on the clothes box at the end of her bed.

“Mistress . . . ” protested Obi-Wan as they all knew that Maul was exactly the sort of being to do this sort of thing and worse. The Mistress huffed and whacked him with the end of her nearest head tail and continued her complaints 

“And now Master Yoda’s on Coruscant and he’ll find them and Palpatine will strike him down and then what will become of us. No matter how much he haunts us as a little blue cloud. Those Taas will kick our butts out and we’ll have to live in the mud puddles and gnaw twigs.”

The next few days were spent in a similar manner with Mistress Fan’iy either lying flat in her bed claiming loudly she was dying or she was stamping about the Creche kicking anything that moved; and wailing and screaming and generally carrying on. HI-55 had removed all the good china and all favorite knick-knacks and locked Master Yoda’s private chambers. The Mistress was doing her utmost to subtly batter her way in but HI-55 was an excellent diversion. 

Jah’nne and Obi-Wan had not a moment alone until three days later. Obi-Wan found his favorite Creche-mate trying to meditate in a distracted manner in one of the smaller sitting rooms. He shut the door behind him and sat down next to her.

“Now, Jah’nne, tell me everything I don’t already know. Did Senator Ryyder suspect anything before hand?”

“Well, he did own that he had often suspected some partiality, especially on Palpatine’s side, but nothing to give them any alarm . . . . He gave us the holovid Maul sent to his consort, Liana . . . ”

Jah’nne handed Obi-Wan the holovid. He popped it and was assaulted by the sight of Maul naked but for an extremely small pair of lurid green rubber pants,

“Liana! You Superstar!!  
You will wet your panties when you find out I’ve blown  
this ice-hole and I’m just about wetting myself thinking  
about your face tomorrow morning, as soon as you realize  
I’ve disappeared. I’m going to Coruscant and if you can’t  
guess with who, then you ought to have the word “IDIOT”  
branded on your forehead as there is only one senator here  
who I want to get laid by. You don’t need to call my  
Creche if you’re all chicken shit as it will be much more  
fun when I contact them and sign off as Consort Palpatine.  
What a fabulous joke! I can hardly talk for laughing.

Obi-Wan shut off the holovid so he wouldn’t have to listen to Maul’s guffaws any longer.

“Brainless brat.” He sighed. “What a thing to have recorded much less sent. At least it shows that he thought that he was going to be fully bonded, no matter what Palpatine talked or mind-whammied him into later. Our poor Master, how pissed off he must have been.”

“Indeed, I’ve never seen him so shocked. He did deep breathing exercises for a full ten minutes. Our Mistress was taken ill immediately and the whole Creche was in hysterics. Mistress Fhil’eep has been often and Jar Jar Binks has offered us his assistance . . . ”

“Better they had stayed and attended to their own Creches,” snapped Obi-Wan with sudden vehemence, “Assistance is impossible and condolence insufferable. Let them triumph over us at a distance and be satisfied.”

“Obi-Bunnie! That is unkind.” Jah’nne looked appalled at her Creche-mate. Obi-Wan turned to leave but stopped to regard his Creche-mate from the doorway.

“Oh Jah’nne don’t you see that more than just Maul has been tainted by the Dark side.”

Unable to keep his countenance, Obi-Wan left the room. He spent the rest of the afternoon trying to walk mindfully but only managed to twist his ankle. He passed one of She’s breathing hole and was surprised by the soft call,

*Obi-Wan . . . Come to me.* As always the same invitation only answered once. Sparked by his own distress, Obi-Wan call back to  
She.

*I can’t, I’m having a crisis.*

*I will help you, Obi-Wan. Come to me.*

Obi-Wan was struck by the reply and sent his own before shielding himself against Her as he usually did.

*Help me, She? What will you do? Eat Senator Palpatine instead of me?*

He readied himself for bed, reflecting idly that now the Temple on Coruscant was a place of love and warmth compared to the Creche. Here now he had to shield himself and slip into a small, cold bed and lie awake with only memories of a sweetness beyond compare to warm him. He gazed into the mirror recalling the midnight blue eyes that had called him beautiful. 

He glanced up, taken from such musings by a knock on his bedroom door. He smiled softly as Jah’nne let herself in and shut the door carefully behind her. She crossed to his side and smooched him before taking his hand carefully in hers.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said this afternoon, Obi-Bunnie, about more than just Maul has been tainted by the Dark Side.”  
Obi-Wan clasped both Jah’nne’s hands in his, stroking them. “I’m sorry, dearest, I was angry and it does none of us any good to dwell on the matter now.”

“You mean,” Jah’nne went on undeterred. “That as his Creche-mates our chances of being chosen by good Masters or Knights has been permanently damaged by Maul’s sithiness?”

“Our chances of being chosen by good Masters were slim before this event. Now I would say they are non-existent. Of that much I am sure. Master Jinn was so angry when he found me in the district looking for them. All he wanted I think was to get me and every association with myself and my Creche off his planet.” 

Obi-Wan sighed and the two climbed onto his bed and wrapped themselves in their shawls before cuddling together for comfort.

“Does Master Jinn know of our Creche’s troubles?” Jah’nne asked with a smile. Obi-Wan blushed realizing that he had dumped the mud out of the grubby bag.

“When I first got your holovid I determined that I would see if I could help. I traced them to the gambling quarters but Master Jinn and Master Tiin caught up with me. Jinn mind-whammied me and that’s the last I remember. Master Jinn will not be renewing his offer to me and I am certain he will make sure his friend does not offer for you again.”

Jah’nne half-laughed.

“Obi-Bunnie, I am quite resigned to not being Master Windu’s Padawan. But do you think that Jinn may still be in love with you?”

Obi-Wan stroked and examined Jah’nne hand, not looking at his Creche-mate. He could not tell what had happened between himself and the Master. It was too close to his heart, too close to his soul and both were fragile at the moment.

“I don’t know what’s going on in his head but it seemed like . . . Well, I was mistaken.”

Jah’nne smiled and kissed his cheek before returning to her own bed. Obi-Wan sighed and tucked his feet under the covers, gathering them close around him. It was a beautiful summer night but he still shivered. His bed seemed so much smaller than he remembered it. 

He had lain here since he was allocated to his own room when he reached his eighth birthday. He looked about. The little dresser and the clothes box at the end of the bed. There was the ancient alcove, as the Creche Temple had been built back in the days when the only heat source for buildings was an open fire now the alcove held a plasma burner. It was porcelain fashioned to look like a flame and was pretty enough but now it seemed to belong to another life. 

The rug on the floor had come from his Aunt and Uncle when they had first been bonded and called to the High Council. He shivered again and unconsciously fingered the chain about his neck. He realized what he was doing and leaned back into the pillows. It was all he had now that and the memories of the greatest love he would ever know. His tears flowed unnoticed as he reached and dimmed the light then curled up to sleep as best he could.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

The Lüngb’urne Temple waited in vain to receive a download from either the relations or their Trainer. Master Yoda was not famous for sending holovids, audiovids, droid messengers or even very energetic carrier avians who could traverse deep space or hold their teeny breaths a real long time. 

All the other Creches seemed bent on stating how they had sensed Sithiness in Palpatine. In Theed itself, every politician declared him a briber and a loophole-finder. All the local and city tradesmen found that they were owed money and sons, daughters, servant droids and domestic animals had been seduced in some way, shape or mind-whammie. People who had declared him the most honest politician and a great reformer were now branding his the wickedest being in the known universe. Everyone discussed how they had suddenly always distrusted him but no one else would listen.

Mistress Fhil’eep stopped by often and spent time with the Mistﬁress either scampering at her heels as she rushed about the Creche wrecking anything that reminded her of Palpatine or Maul or comforting the Housekeeper at her bedside with some new tale of Palpatine’s general dreadfulness.

Jah’nne and Obi-Wan were walking mindfully one afternoon while Flas-Ok read and Khi’to was digging up his marble collection which he had finally discovered where Maul had buried it four years ago but he hadn’t been able to tell anyone knowing that Maul would make the most of Khi’to ever saying he had lost his marbles.

There was the scream of a badly used speeder bike and a crash. A bulge appeared in the wall of the Temple near the gate. Moments later a bulge appeared in the gate but it was only Senator Taa.

Khi’to screamed like a pinched cheerleader and dove into the wash-house. Flas-Ok, Jah’nne and Obi-Wan helpfully pushed the still dazed and bruised Senator into the receiving area. 

After and infusion of headache syrup and a cold pack in the noggin, The senator requested to see the Trainer and the Housekeeper. Jah’nne seated herself and Obi-Wan and Flas-Ok perched beside her.

“I am sorry to inform you, senator but our Housekeeper is too ill to rise and our Trainer is not at the Temple.”

The senator stared and blinked then seemed to recall what he’d planned to say and visibly expanded before them.  
“I feel myself . . . That is, my consort, if I pay her . . . at least . . . um . . . Ahem, I feel myself called . . . that was it! . . . I feel myself called upon by our relationship and my situation in life, to condole with you on the grievous affliction all of you and your Master are now suffering under, which must be of the bitterest kind, especially Master Yoda as a Jedi Master. The torture, dismemberment and death of his initiate would have been wonderful compared to this.”

Only Jah’nne handling of the Force and her hands clamping like a vice about Obi-Wan’s wrists keep him from hurling the Senator out the window. Flas-Ok blinked aÊnd said quietly,

“That’s nice of you, Senator. It is said that the Giant Fambaa is not to be found among the treetops which is why they have flat feet.”

Senator Taa goggled at her a moment then agreed volubly and continued warming to his subject. 

“My dear Consort seems to think that there was a faulty degree of sexual indulgence was in the being but I like to think that he was simply born a creature of the Dark Side sent to annoy everyone. Well, whatever. You are all to be grievously to be pitied and I am joined in pitying you by my distinguished patron Supreme Chancellor Finis Valorum and his daughter Sei Taria, to whom I have related the whole affair and they agree with me in apprehending that this false step in one initiate will be injurious to the reputations of all the Creche-mates, for what Knight or Master as the Supreme Chancellor himself condescendingly says, will connect themselves with such a Creche.”

Obi-Wan shoved Jah’nne’s Force control aside and rose.

“Who indeed, senator. And I would think that if it got out in oh . . . say the local newsvender that you visited us . . . Let’s just say that a newly elected senator with ties to the Supreme Chancellor can’t be too careful with who he associates with.”

The senator paled and looked at him as horror oozed across his over-indulgent features. He vanished in a swirl of silk, velvet and body glitter.

“Is he gone?” Khi’to stuck his head through the window which was fortunately open.

“Yes,” Obi-Wan snapped, “Forever hopefully.”

“I think it was nice of him to visit,” Flas-Ok put in, then she stared off into the distance. “Did he say what he wanted? I can’t seem to recall.”

"It was about Maul,” Jah’nne reminded.

“Who?” asked Flas

“Look here comes Auntie Fhil’eep,” Khi’to squealed and rushed towards the rapidly approaching being. Jah’nne and Obi-Wan came out to meet her.

“Oh, Jah’nne, Oh, Obi-Bunnie. Is your Mistress in?”

“Yes, but she still keeps to her chambers when she isn’t destroying things.”

“Oh well, let me to her, Jah’nne, for the Force knows I’ve no good news for her . . . ”

Mistress Fhil’eep swept her elaborately festooned figure into the Temple and up the stairs. The muffled screams that were heard shortly after confirmed Fhil’eep’s dire statement of no good news.

 

Two days later Jah’nne received a holovid from Uncle Yaeral that sent her running up the stairs to her Mistress.

“Mistress, it’s a holovid from Uncle.”

The Housekeeper wrenched open the door and dragged her charge into the chamber.

“Yes, have they found Maul?”

“No, Uncle says Master Yoda is coming home and he and Auntie will continue to search.”

“Then who is to find and murder Palpatine for us, you know your Uncle feels strongly about gratuitous violence! Oh Jah’nne what will become of us?”

 

Late that night Obi-Wan and Jah’nne heard the front Temple door open and sensed their Master’s presence. They both rushed to the door. A small figure, hood raised against the evening rain, padded in.

”Now, not the time.” He waved both of them away and stomped into his meditation chambers.

The next morning Master Yoda joined them at the breakfast table. Jah’nne radiated sympathy, Obi-Wan curiosity, Khi’to out-right stupidity and Flas total disinterestedness.

“Dearest Master-” Obi-Wan started but Master Yoda shook his head.

“Nothing of that say. Suffer who should but myself. My own doing it has been and feel it I ought to.”

“You are too severe upon yourself, Master,” Obi-Wan murmured.

“No, Obi-Bunnie, in life let me for once feel, to blame how much I have been. Afraid I am not of over-powered by the impression being. Soon enough it will pass away.”

“Do you sense them still on Coruscant?”Obi-Wan asked.

“Yes, so well concealed, where else can they be.”

“And Maul always wanted to go to Coruscant,” Khi’to remarked helpfully.

“Happy he is then.” said Master Yoda dryly, “And of some duration his residence there is likely to be.”  
Master Yoda then turned to Obi-Wan.

“Obi-Bunnie, No ill-will I bear you for justified being in advice to me. The event considering, great sensitivity of the Force it shows.”

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to say something but Jah'nne rose to her feet excusing herself to the company.

“I must take Mistress her breakfast.”

“Hmm,” snorted Master Yoda, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Our Housekeeper to her bed she keeps. Such elegance to misfortune this gives. Another day the same I will do. Sit in my meditation chamber I will, in jammies and odd hat. Give much trouble and fuss I will, Good plan that is . . . Maybe save it. Yes save it I will until run away Khi’to does.”

“I’m not going to run away. Master Yoda,” Khi’to piped up. “If I’d been allowed to go to Hoth I’d’ve behaved lots better than ol’ Maul.”

“Go you to Hoth?!?” Master Yoda bellowed and hopped out of his chair, stamping round the table and jumping up on the table, kicking Khi’to’s cereal bowl out of the way and sticking his little green face into Khi’to acne-enhanced turquoise young one. Screaming from beneath the table did not carry the same dignity as standing on the table and screaming, Obi-Wan silently noted to himself.

“Trust you no nearer than fourth moon of Naboo for five million Republic credits, I won’t! No, Khi’to, at last learnt I have cautious to be. Feel the effects of it you will. Enter this temple again, no politician is while Master I am. Prohibited absolutely tourneys will be unless with Creche-mate you stand up. Stir out of doors you won’t until prove you can that spent you have in a rational manner ten minutes every day.”  
Khi’to took these threats seriously starting howling that it wasn’t fair and ripping the table cloth with his teeth. Master Yoda watched for a moment then mind-whammied the youth into sleep, commenting, “Unhappy do not make yourself. I will leave message for new Temple Master that if good you are for ten years then to Theed senate assembly you are to be taken.

Three days later, Jah’nne and Obi-Wan were sitting quietly in a morning meditation when the sound of droid plating against the garden path opened one of Obi-Wan’s eyes then both of Jah’nne’s.

“HI-55, what is it? Is our Mistress asking for us?” Jah’nne politely inquired. The droid cocked her head then crossed to the pair.

“I am sorry to interrupt you two initiates but . . . You did know that our Master received an express holovid this morning.”

“When, HI-55?” cried Obi-Wan.

“Oh about half a standard hour ago, initiate.”

Jah’nne and Obi-Wan fled into the Temple meditation room, jogged in place, ran to the lounge, fell over Flas and, catching sight of a retreating figure, raced out to the gardens and finally catching up with their Trainer.

“Master!” gasped Obi-Wan, “You’ve heard from Uncle and Auntie?”

“Heard from them I have.”

“Good news or bad, my Master?”

“What good of this could come?” The old Jedi Master removed the holovid from his pocket. “See it yourself you should. Volume you should turn up. Make sense of it then we might.”

Uncle Yaeral appeared before them.

“My dearest relation,” his soft voice began “I am finally able to send you tidings of our nephew. I have seen them both . . . ”

“I knew it! They are properly bonded!” Jah’nne cried excitedly.

“They are not properly bonded, “ continued Uncle Yarael. “Nor can I find any intention of there being so. However, if you are prepared to perform the engagements, which I have ventured on your side, I hope it will not be long before they are. All that is required of you is to assure your initiate his school passing grade and a small clothing stipend. You will easily comprehend from these particulars that Palpatine is not so inept a politicians as we had thought.”

“There,” sighed Jah’nne happily. Obi-Wan and Master Yoda were too polite to roll their eyes. Uncle Yaeral went on.

“I am happy to say that when all the problems are discharged there will be some little money that I will slip poor Maullie. Yaddle and I have judged it best that the bonding ceremony is carried out here on Coruscant.”

“Oh, Khi’to and Mistress will be sorry to miss it,” Jah’nne commented eliciting nods from the other two.

“Please inform me as soon as possible about the rest of the arrangements I list after and please be explicit. Maul is going to be staying with us as of this afternoon.” 

The holovid clicked for a security code from Master Yoda, who picked it up and chucked it back into one of his many pockets.

“So they must bond.” Obi-Wan said slowly.

“Yes, bonded they must become.”

“And he is such a . . . politician.”

“Perhaps Palpatine is not so undeserving and sithy as we thought.” Jah’nne was hopeful. Master Yoda raised and eyebrow at her.

“Think that if comfort it gives you, Jah’nne.”

“Have you answered Uncle yet?” Obi-Wan asked.

“No but make holovid I should soon. Then meditate . . . maybe distance mind whammie find out just how many republic credits Uncle and Yaddle coughed up.”

Jah’nne and Obi-Wan went slowly up the stairs to tell the Mistress. They seated her, and HI-55 shoved Flas and Khi’to in, so that there would be only one telling. The Housekeeper was overjoyed and started hopping up and down in her seat,

“Oh, I knew it would turn out well. I know Yaeral and Yaddle would be good and kind. Oh my dearest little Maullie, my little galla seed. I am so happy! An initiate bonded and the least trained of you lot! Consort Palpatine! Oooo, how yummy that sounds. Obi, go down to your Master and ask him what he will be sending for clothes. This is ridiculous that the ceremony should be on Coruscant. Maullie should be bonded here, where every Creche can see him and absolutely squirm the jealousy.”

That cannot be, Mistress,” Obi-Wan stated. “Surely you understand that.”

“No I don’t! Why should that be?”

“Because of the sithy manner in which it all started.”

“ Oh, very well if you put it that way. Go! Move your carcass downstairs and do as you’re told.”

Obi-Wan bowed to his Mistress and went downstairs very reluctantly to talk to his Master. He knocked on the meditation door.

Master Yoda came, opened it and drew him in as they heard the Mistress squealing with delight and screaming for HI-55 to help her dress as she was going to Theed to tell everyone and organize a party.

“Master . . . ” Obi-Wan turned as Master Yoda mind-whammied the door shut. The elder tottered over to his chair and seated himself with a heavy sigh. He looked up and motioned Obi-Wan to come and sit at his feet. Obi-Wan crossed and settled his head in his Master’s lap. Together they listened to the receding shrieks of delight as the Mistress rushed out to spread the good news.

“Do you think Uncle had to spend a great deal of money to bring this about, my Master?”

“Yes. Palpatine an idiot is if agree to bond with Maul for less that ten million credits.”

“Ten million?” Obi-Wan breathed, “How is such a sum ever to be repaid.”

Yoda shrugged, “Glad you were not taken I am.”

“I was such a fool to trust him, Master Yoda.” Obi-Wan sighed and tucked himself closer, closing his eyes as the gnarled fingers began to stroke his hair gently.

“Realized you did. Learned you did. Important that is.”

Obi-Wan turned this over in his mind.  
“I suppose but I did wish I had managed to talk to Maul. Sometimes he listens to me. No one but you understands that weirdly enough we do love each other. I remember buying his egg at that traveling circus. They said it was forever frozen but when we brought it home and it sat in the sunshine for a few weeks, he hatched. It was such fun when I saw that his egg was hatching. I remember when you and I watched him fall out and there was slop everywhere. He was so cute . . . ”

Obi-Wan smiled. “I felt like he was all mine and I used to try and take such good care of him. Master, am I to blame that he is so spoiled?”

The stubby fingers tickled his neck, “No, silly you are being. Your trainer I am, Blame if any, mine it should be. Find Palpatine will, Maul a handful is.”

Obi-Wan chuckled, “Yes he is isn’t he.” 

The sweetness and profound relief he felt knowing that his little Maul was not truly harmed was great indeed. He felt as though the universe was a little better place to live in than before. The gentle hand slid down and Obi-Wan froze and the fingers touched and examined the chain. The fingers lifted his chin and he was forced to look at his Master.

“Obi, my Obi. Reason for wearing this you have?”

Obi-Wan lowered his eyes, murmuring, “It was a gift.”

“A gift was it? Special person it is from? Secret lover you have, my Obi? Your Mistress slap you, I think.”

Obi-Wan couldn’t answer, then swallowed.

“Please, Master, do not press me on this. I shall never see him again and my memories are still to fresh and new and . . . they hurt too much to share.”

Obi-Wan buried his face in his Master’s lap trying without success to stop his tears. The hands softly began stroking his hair again. The Master radiated sympathy but Obi-Wan was certain he heard the little Jedi Master chuckling under his breath.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth universally acknowledged that a lone Jedi Master of the Highest Order must be in want of a Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various.   
> Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.  
>  Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem? Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

     Exactly a week later at breakfast, Master Yoda announced that he had received another holovid and that Maul and Palpatine were bonded. Yaddle wanted to know if the Temple would received the pair for a visit before they traveled to Palpatine’s new senate post which was somewhere near the Outer Rim.

     “Yes, of course, my dear Master!” cried the Housekeeper hopping in her chair slightly. “I think it ridiculous that our dearest Palpatine should be sent to such a faraway place surely he can work here on Naboo in Theed.

    "Perhaps if he became the manager of the hay-making park near the sea. If those horrid geldings could be stopped from using it as a grazing area. The great chimney house at Ortho Gunga is always warm if it is properly stoked."

     "What about Lurvis Podge?” suggested Khi’to helpfully

    “Tsk! Oh no, dear, not Lurvis Podge! Those basements are permanently flooded!”

     “Maul might like that.” Khi’to argued.

     Mistress Fan’iy banged her headtails in the table and snatched Khi’to’s bowl of porridge and hurled it at the mantle clock. Khi’to started to wail and Flas jumped up and rushed to answer the front door for no immediately apparent reason.

     “As long as here they do not live. Happy I am,” snapped Master Yoda and he exited the breakfast room in disgust.

 

    Shortly before it was time for snackies, a small-gain landspeeder drew in at the gate and two strangely clad figures disembarked.

    Obi-Wan stared.

    Palpatine was in deep blue with a few extra baubles than usual. Maul was completely clad in black and to Obi-Wan’s horror, Maul’s face was now covered in geometric black tattoos.

    Maul and Pal stood before them and bowed.

     “Well, here we all are! Force, what a time we’ve had and here you are looking just the same.” Maul screeched before Palpatine could open his mouth.

     “Ooo, my little spicy ahrisa! Look at you! I think you’ve grown!” The Housekeeper was quivering with excitement.

     “Haven’t I caught myself a handsome Master.”

     “Oh yes you have my galla seed.” Mistress Fan’iy cooed, “Let me give you a kiss, Pally dear.”

     Palpatine began to smile but the Housekeeper pounced.  Obi-Wan managed not to laugh as Palpatine tried to look serene and calm as the Housekeeper exuberantly stuffed her tongue down his throat. Maul hopped on his toes and clapped.

     Master Yoda shrugged and, grabbing the Housekeeper by a head tail, bodily dragged her off the senator. The Housekeeper straightened her face-frames and put her tongue back in her mouth as Master Yoda suggested they get the sixty-nine hells inside before snackies got any colder. All turned to go in but, Maul, bodily dragging the senator by his velvet collar, bounced up and butt-checked Jah’nne out of the way.        

     “No, Jah’nne, I get to follow the Master now. You have to walk behind me for I am bonded.”

     He slung Pal behind him only barely supporting the man as he fell up the steps trying to keep up with his hyper lover.

     “Consort Palpatine.” Maul enunciated, then turned to his former Creche-mates, “Force, how normal that sounds.”

     Palpatine tried to chuckle calmly but Maul was so busy trying to follow Master Yoda directly he walked his dear senator face-first into the lintel. Obi-Wan felt a sliver of horror go through him at the look Palpatine gave Maul and Maul seemed to dim slightly.

 

      After snackies, Obi-Wan, Jah’nne, Khi’to and Maul went to mindfully walk while Senator Palpatine posed for hover cam he had brought with him.

     “Isn’t my Senator sexy? I think you envy me, Obi-Wan. Weren’t you madly in love with him.”

     Obi-Wan considered. Mad? Very likely. In love? No. In lust? Maybe.

     “No, I was never in love with him.” he said gently. Maul changed the subject.

     “My senator is so photogenic. Senator Ryyder said he was as picturesque as any of the senators. How I wish we had all gone to Hoth. I could have had all of you bonded. That is the placed to find bond-mates.”

     Obi-Wan sighed, shaking his head.

     “Thank you for my share in the favor, but I don’t particularly like your idea of being bonded or your methods”

     “How I wish we could have been bonded at the great Temple on Coruscant with all our friends from Hoth. And we could have had a proper senatorial parade and everyone in senate blues. But the Senators were tied up in meetings and could not be spared for the ceremony and in the end there was no one there but Aunt and Uncle and Master Jinn.”

     Maul prattled happily as Obi-Wan world exploded into tiny, broken-heart-shaped pieces.

    “Master Jinn was at your bonding ceremony?!?”

     Maul turned at looked at him innocently.

     “Yes of course. Some Jedi had to be there other than my relations to perform the ceremony. I wish it could have been someone jollier could have done it. Ooopsie!”

    Maul clapped his hands over his mouth in horrified delight.

    “Ooo, I wasn’t to say a word they all made me promise and threatened to spank me . . . really hard. It was to be such a secret! What will Pally say now.”

     Maul pushed Khi’to into a gorse bush, still giggling.

     “Heeheehee! Like I care.”

     Obi-Wan managed to excuse himself and rushed to the attic to hide and record a holovid to his aunt desperately asking for information on how in the sixty-nine Sithy hells Master Jinn had been at Maul’s bonding ceremony and promising to deprive her of HI-55’s snackies and chocolate dainties if she did not tell him everything.

     He programmed it, fled to the family Sender and sent it best express then perched on the little stool nearby and fidgeted.

     Finally three standard hours later, the download started to process. Obi-Wan snatched it and ran out to the gardens to listen to the audiovid. With shaking hands he slipped the earpiece in his ear and listened intently.

> _“My dearest Obi-Bunnie, I was so surprised to learn that you of all people_
> 
> _did not know what happened._
> 
> _Your Uncle and I assumed it was done exactly as you requested._
> 
> _If however you are completely ignorant, and the mind- whammie_
> 
> _and drugs were administered without your permission,_
> 
> _I shall endeavor to enlighten you._
> 
> _After we arrived back here from getting you home, Master Jinn called on us._
> 
> _He told us that he knew where your Creche-mate and Palpatine were and_
> 
> _had spoken with both of them repeatedly._
> 
> _He stated that he felt that the entire affair was his fault that it was his mistaken pride_
> 
> _and reluctance to strike down Palpatine that had made it possible._
> 
> _We insisted that he was taking too much upon himself._
> 
> _He would not give way and not only would not allow either myself nor your uncle to help_
> 
> _but he insisted on doing everything himself and asked only that your Uncle and I take the credit of it._
> 
> _When we gave our permission he left and returned with Maul._
> 
> _We were then went forward with the preparations for the ceremony._
> 
> _Maul behaved himself tolerable well once we locked him in the pantry._
> 
> _I cannot complain and Palpatine was allows a limited access to Maul_
> 
> _but we were careful to keep them as much apart as possible._
> 
> _Once that was done Jinn made sure there was a post for Palpatine_
> 
> _where his nonsense was not known and I believe made sure that_
> 
> _there would be monies for the pair to live on comfortably and that_
> 
> _Maul would at least have the sort of care-free life he had always enjoyed._
> 
> _Well, my dear, I don't know what else I can tell you on the subject._
> 
> _I must say, and I hope you will not be angry with your uncle and I for saying,_
> 
> _how much we like Master Jinn. His behavior to us has, in every respect,_
> 
> _as pleasing as when you were here with us. His understanding, practice and manipulations_
> 
> _of the Force all please us, we think he wants nothing but a little more . . . Naboo-ness_
> 
> _and when he bonds, his mate will teach him I’m sure._
> 
> _We thought him a little sly though. He never mentioned your name once._
> 
> _Please excuse your uncle and I for you know we hope never to be assuming_
> 
> _or at least do not punish us by excluding us from the Main T. On C._
> 
> _On that, I have a small request. When we were at there, I do regret that_
> 
> _on our brief walking tour you and I were not able to fully explore the_
> 
> _meditation gardens. Perhaps once you are settled there with your soul-mate,_
> 
> _we would have the leisure time for many such lovely walks._
> 
> _We love you always, dearest”_

 

     Obi-Wan gasped and blinked and hyperventilated for a few minutes and managed to collect his scattered thoughts. He cobbled together a deep breathing exercise.

     Finally, he was able to rise and shoving the download into his pocket. He calmed himself and then he felt it.

     The shudder through the Force, a warning. He stood calmly and cloaked the Force about him, reveling in Its Power and Light just like the days of old.

     But there was something else that was there now. It was as though the memories of his times shared with Jinn rose within him as a pure calm strength. He turned with a half smile at Senator Palpatine.

     “My dear Obi-Wan,” Palpatine smiled. “I afraid I’ve interrupted your solitary meditation.”

     “You certainly do.” Obi-Wan with a slight smile. “But it does not follow that the interruption should be unpleasant.”

     “I would be sorry indeed if it were. We were always good friends.”

     “True.”

     Obi-Wan felt inclined to laugh, Palpatine was trying to find out what he knew about the bonding ceremony and whether or not Jinn had revealed Palpatine’s sithiness to him. Obi-Wan relaxed into his role of the inscrutable Jedi.

     “I heard from our Uncle and Aunt that you have see the Main Temple on Coruscant.” Palpatine fished again. Obi-Wan nodded, watching and sensing Palpatine’s unrest.

     “I was surprised to see Jinn on Coruscant the other week.” Palpatine was acting the part of casual conversationalist.

     Obi-Wan was amused at the frequent prodding against his shields.

     “We passed each other several times. Surprising that a Jedi like him not being on some diplomatic mission or other. I wonder what he was doing there.”

     “Perhaps preparing for the bonding ceremony.” Obi-Wan suggested playfully, discreetly watching as Palpatine turn pale then Obi-Wan continued, “With Sei Taria. It certainly must have been something particular to keep him on the planet.”

     “Yes . . . yes, yes, undoubtedly. Did you see him while you were about at the Main Temple? I understood from your relations you had.”    

     “Yes,” Obi-Wan turned a dazzling smile on Palpatine. “He introduced us to his ward.”

     “And do you like her?”

     “Yes, I liked her very much.” Obi-Wan smiled thinking of the fun they’d had together in class, sparring and playing together. Palpatine seemed to be having difficulty breathing then,

     “I have heard, indeed, that she is uncommonly improved. I’m glad you liked her.”

Obi-Wan glanced at Palpatine. The man’s face was a hard as ice and the Dark Side flowed from him. Obi-Wan regarded him without fear as he knew what he was dealing with and his understanding made his fear dissipate. “Yes, I glad you like her. I hope she will turn out well.” Palpatine snarled.

     Obi-Wan stifled a giggled and smiled at his companion again,

     “I dare say she will, she has got over a most trying period of her life.”

     “Did you go by Lam’tonne sub-temple?”

     “ . . . I . . . ”

     “I mention it because it was the Temple I was to teach at.” Palpatine talked on never giving Obi-Wan a chance to speak, “A delightful place and so strong in the Force quite naturally. It would have suited me perfectly.”

     Obi-Wan turned and drew himself up looking Palpatine in the eye.

     “How should you have liked teaching as a Jedi at a sub-temple?”

     “Exceedingly well-” Palpatine started to say jauntily but he seemed to back away from Obi-Wan a little.

     “I did hear for a very trustworthy authority,” Obi-Wan cooed. “That you were caught by the previous Temple Master performing a Rite of Sith within the Holy Confines of the Jedi Temple. You were immediately stripped of knowledge and honor and cast out of the order.”

     Palpatine breathed heavily and glared at him. The darkness and hate rose from the man distorting his features into something less than natural and sentient. Obi-Wan stared at the creature coolly and without fear.

     He knew Palpatine had no power over him. He smiled and held out his hand palm up in the ancient Jedi gesture of Peace. He tossed his curls back and felt the sunlight dance off his soul’s love gift.

     Palpatine shrank visibly. Obi-Wan leaned toward the senator, forcing the creature to back away.

     “Come now, senator, we are of the same Creche and the Creche is part of the Force. Let us not quarrel about the past.”

     Obi-Wan waited his hand still extended. Palpatine was forced to touch him and recoiled his own hand as though he had been scalded by the young initiate.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK I admit, from here on thing go a little haywire and I have far too much fun....And so does Maullie!
> 
>  
> 
> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

     It all began again with the Housekeeper scampering into the Temple shrieking and bounding into the breakfast parlor.The rest of the Creche was eating a late luncheon.Maul and Palpatine had been asked to stay on another week by Master Yoda which had puzzled Obi-Wan exceedingly

     “Master Yoda, My Master!” The Temple Housekeeper rushed over the Master of the Creche as he raised his eyes, his mouth full of zukki berry salad.

     “I have just had it from Jar Jar Binks!” she cried.“NethaTheed, the Royal Palace is preparing to act as host Jedi Masters again!Guess who will be there?”She was bordering on screaming in her enthusiasm.Master Yoda yanked the tablecloth over his head in a faulty attempt to prevent deafness

     “Tell me this quietly if tell me you must.” was the Dagobari’s somewhat muffled reply.But it was enough to encourage the Housekeeper.

     “Well,” she gushed, “The Leader’s name is Master Mace Windu!” Mistress Fan’iy turned and swung her arms wide at Jah’nne like a game-show host on uppers. Jah’nne all but sank beneath the table.

 

     “Oh, Obi-Bunnie,” Jah’nne later admitted to her favorite Creche-mate, when the two were packing butter balls for long-term storage for HI-55.

     “I saw you look at me and I know I looked distressed but don’t imagine it was from any silly cause.I am glad of one thing.That he seems to have come alone, thus we shall see less of him as he has never once come here and we have no business in Theed that I know of at the moment.I - I just dread other people’s remarks.”

     Obi-Wan smiled serenely at his Creche-mate.

     “Then I will venture none.”  She smiled then he added, 

    “No matter how much I am tempted.”

     Jah’nne made a face at him and, with a delicate fingernail, flicked one yellow ball at her Creche-mate making him squeak as it hit him in the breastbone and slid down his tunic.

     HI-55 came in,

     “Thank you, dears.Seeing as you are finished and it’s such a hot, sultry day, your Master wants to know if you two would accompany Maul and Reppi natural chocolate hunting.Maul has been playing with one of the younger Fambaas and thinks this one will make a good hunter.”

     Jah’nne and Obi-Wan looked at each other, shrugged then washed their hands and went to their respective chambers to change their clothes.

 

     Obi-Wan stretched a moment and sat up.The three initiates and the new consort had excavated a large hole with the help of the young Fambaa, Maul had befriended.Obi-Wan had been surprised by Maul’s sudden tender affection for this animal not to mention the fact it seemed to be equally fond of him.She walked beside Maul and muttered in usual Fambaa fashion.When Maul crooned dirty nonsense songs and she would hum the chorus with him.

     The two older Fambaa that they had brought with them were standing about grazing or occasionally sticking their heads in, knocking all four young people into the hole, which was deep and wet and extremely muddy.It was just as well all were dressed in traditional green and brown striped short kilts.All were bare-chested.Jah’nne didn’t care as the only ones to see her were her Creche-mates and Reppi, as a Gungan female and amphibious by nature had no taboos or breasts attached to her upper body.

     Not that it would make much difference, Obi-Wan reflected, as they were so covered in mud they were almost dressed and all but unrecognizable.

     The Fambaa, Maul had become fond of, had turned out to be an excellent chocolate hunter.Natural chocolate grew deep in the mud.Its rough pods were hard to find and could not be sensed by droids or most domestic animals.Fambaas could, if trained, find chocolate.However, despite being gentle, Fambaas were not famous for being easily trained.

     Maul patted his lizard companion.

     “Awww, my pretty Clarissa.You are such a smart girl.Yes, you are, and so beautiful too.Your Maullie loves you, darling, yes he does.”

     Maul made smoochie noises at the lizard who hummed and bumped her thick lipped, buck-toothed muzzle into Maul’s face knocking him back into the hole with a resounding splat, spraying all his Creche-mates mud all over again.

     “Oh, Clarissa!” Jah’nne scolded.The huge reptile ignored her completely.Maul stood up in the hole and handed out another round of pods to everyone.

     This was the fourth pit they had dug this afternoon.The other two fambaa’s grazed near their huge collection baskets and all twelve were full to capacity all, as Maul stated several times over, thanks to Clarissa’s genius . . . or something.HI-55 would have enough chocolate to have dainties for any occasion well into the next season. 

     They were now just lounging and eating most of the pods they found.Eating raw chocolate did have certain side effects, mainly that it made both being and beast behave as though they were rather drunk. 

     Maul climbed out and started peeling his own pod.Obi-Wan lay on his back and looked vaguely into the distance.During their hunting, digging and loading they had almost made their way back to the main path between Theed and their Temple.

     The sun was warm and the breeze carried a thousand fragrances of all the flowers.Yellow, orange and blue water butterflies began to gather near them, attracted by the cool scent of the uncovered mud. 

     Obi-Wan twirled his finger above him, swirling the butterflies.He was vaguely aware of a distant noise.He shrugged it off as a roaming speeder.Tourists sometimes lost their way along the Temple path attracted by the natural beauty and simplicity. 

     Clarissa was rolling Maul about with her nose.Maul was giggling hysterically.Reppi crawled over to Obi-Wan and curled next to him with her head on his shoulder.He slid an arm around her.  Jah’nne yawned and climbed onto the pile of cool wet mud they had excavated from their hole.She stretched over the top, her belly rising to the sun and her hair falling down the sides followed by the rest of her body.Clarissa bellowed thirstily and stuck her head down the hole, searching.Obi-Wan mumbled and reached to grab one of Maul’s horns.

     “Maul, dear, tell Clarissa to go and jump in the path-side runnels.They’re still full from melt.Just make sure she doesn’t block the road completely.I think I heard a speeder.”

     Maul dragged himself over and pillowed his head directly on Obi-Wan’s stomach,

     “Ow!Mind the horns, brat.” 

     Obi-Wan was too sleepy to make much more than the token protest.He pulled a mud-covered rock under his head and stared unseeing out towards the clearing where the path went by.They couldn’t actually see the path as they were on a rise.

     The path ran slightly beneath the rise and there were the runnels then the pond stretched out beyond.Obi-Wan could see the pond, so he nudged Maul again.Clarissa trundled over and nuzzled Maul’s toes making him squeal.

     “Do go and play in the pond, Clarissa.” Maul raised up on his elbows enough to point to the pond.Clarissa looked and grunted.The low whine of an approaching speeder neared.Maul’s eyes lit up with mischief.

     “Clarissa, go jump in the pond from the small cliff edge right there.The tourists will love being jumped over by a fambaa.”

     “Maullie, don’t be silly,” Obi-Wan muttered, knowing Clarissa would not be able to jump that far.Everyone knows fambaa lizards can’t jump. 

     Clarissa obviously hadn’t been given such information and at her beloved Maul’s request, thundered at full gallop toward the rise’ edge and leapt off. 

     The four young beings stared as Clarissa disappeared, a slave to Naboo’s insistent gravity, but instead of a splash there was a metallic crash. 

     The four young beings stared as two Neimoidians, a Chagrian, three Jedi Masters and three Padawans flew upwards in seated positions, looking extremely startled and disappeared down again.There was another crash then silence; a very long silence.

     Jah’nne looked at Obi-Wan.

     “What should we do?” she asked in a quavering whisper.

     Obi-Wan, startled beyond sense started to giggle.Maul scratched his genitals thoughtfully.Reppi opened and closed her mouth a few times. 

     Clarissa came bounding back up to their resting place.She seemed very pleased with herself and not in the least bit concerned that there was a Gian landspeeder bent double across her butt and wagging suggestively as she walked.Various knick-knacks and articles of clothing dribbled out of the speeder’s storage area as she trotted over to them, humming happily.

     Jah’nne wailed sorrowfully and Obi-Wan just lost it, lying on his back, giggling until he could hardly breathe.Maul galvanized to sudden action, shouted,

     “Runaway!”

     “We can’t, silly!Clarissa has a speeder stuck to her bottom.”

     Obi-Wan regained some common sense and scrambled to his feet, fell over Reppi and then regained his footing once more.

      He walked round Clarissa and tried to make his chocolate-clouded brain figure out a way of getting the speeder off Clarissa.

     “Go to her head, Maul, and hold her steady.” Jah’nne suggested.Obi-Wan grabbed Jah’nne and hauled her and Reppi to come with Maul to the Fambaa’s head.

     “Tell Clarissa to shake her ass really hard,” Obi-Wan instructed Maul.Maul relayed this information but Clarissa simply licked his face.

     “No, sweetie.” Maul chided, returned the lick, then pushed her backward a little, “Like this.”

     He bent over and shook his own ass with great abandon.Clarissa cottoned onto what was required of her and mimicked Maul with absolute clarity.The speeder flew off and, imbued with Fambaa strength, went soaring out over the rise to fall gracefully into the middle of the pond and sink without a trace. 

     The four Creche-mates stood together with Clarissa and watched with awe at the wondrous sight unfolding before them.Then it slowly occurred to Obi-Wan that perhaps the passengers might not quite so impressed by the sight of their transport being forcefully hurled into oblivion before their eyes.He pondered what to do then heard some strange noises.It sounded oddly enough like muffled laughter.He walked over to the edge of the rise and looked down.

     Master Jinn looked up at him,

     “Well, Boomba-bad sun, Initiate Kenobi.”

      Obi-Wan closed his eyes and wished himself at the bottom of She’s stomach.Of all the speeders in the entire universe Clarissa had to sit on, why did it have to be Master Jinn’s.

     “Initiate Kenobi, I am delighted to see you again.”

     Obi-Wan manufactured a smile for Master Mace Windu who had just come up over the rise after his friend.

     “Master Jinn.Master Windu.Welcome back to Naboo.”Obi-Wan said as politely as he could, becoming more and more alert as the fresh chocolate wore off and he realized exactly how muddy and naked they all were. 

     To make the scene complete, Master Tiin arrived followed by Hunt, Pehkk and Sabé.Sabé squealed with delight and rushed to hug Obi-Wan.She did her best to replicate the forehead smooch. 

     At that moment Obi-Wan felt his arm clenched in Gungan claws and a traditional Gungan mate-possessive hiss came out of Reppi’s throat.He sighed to himself as he saw Sabé’s head cock and Master Jinn’s eyebrows lift.

     His life sucked, in fact his life sucked bad swamp water.He shook himself free of Reppi, muttering in Pigin Gungan Basic 

     “Meesa needa meesa’s a’m nah.”

     “Meesa no like dat one.” Reppi hissed again.Obi-Wan turned and saw Sabé standing her ground but her eyes were huge and her eyebrows were near her hairline.Maul and Clarissa were sniffing her in a rather personal manner.Obi-Wan reached over and deftly grabbed Maul by the ear.

     “Weesa no Fambaa sniff.”

     Maul retreated, settling for making terrible faces at the Padawans instead.Hunt and Pehkk gingerly greeted Obi-Wan.Obi-Wan turned and looked about.Jah’nne was standing directly behind him.He opened his mouth but she gave him a pleading look and he remained standing in front of her.

     “Masters, these are my Creche-mates.Jah’nne and Maul, and this is Reppi from the Ortho Gunga Creche.I believe you remember her from our visit to Alderaan, Master Jinn.”

      Master Jinn smiled on all of them as though he was not standing in the presence of Consort Palpatine.Maul turned abruptly away saying,

     “Well that’s all very nice and of the Force, I imagine, but if we don’t get a wiggle on we’ll all be in trouble for staying out so long.Our Trainer is very strict.”

     Maul stuck up his nose at the three Padawans.Clarissa belched loudly and for one horrible moment Obi-Wan thought she was going to up her recent meal on the Padawans.Luckily she ambled to the edge of the rise and did it there.

     Obi-Wan was relieved for exactly one second, then heard the screams of the Chagrian and the Neimoidians and felt the blush rising through his entire body.The three Padawan looked at each other and mumbled “Eww!” Clarissa turned and Obi-Wan swore she grinned at them.Maul sniggered openly and, behind him, Obi-Wan heard Jah’nne moan softly.The three Master behaved as though nothing had happened.

      “We were actually on our way to your Temple,” Master Jinn said gently, “We did not, on our last visit, have the pleasure of meeting your honorable Trainer and we had hoped to rectify this oversight today.”

      “Yes,” agreed Master Windu, “we were hoping - Initiate Jah’nne!” The dark-skinned Master’s smiled broadened, “I did not see you back there.I see you are looking very . . . very . . . ”

      He stopped speaking but not looking.Obi-Wan realized he was not admiring his Creche-mate’s pretty face.She was trying to look as serene as possible except that from beneath her muddy smears her nipples were practically waving at Master Windu. 

     Deciding to err on the side of radical.He turned to Maul and muttered “Off-worlders.” in the most derogatory tone he could muster.He earned the immediate attention of all three Masters and the Padawans.True to form, Maul snorted and then sneered.

     “They must have childish taboos where they come from if they cannot even look upon mammillary glands without staring!”

     The visitors looked slightly embarrassed so Obi-Wan decided to issue an invitation.

     “It is, of course, very kind of you to wish to visit our Trainer.I’m sure he will be happy to receive you.Our Temple is not far.We would be happy to give you directions.”

     “Aren’t you going there?” Sabé asked.

     “Yes.” Obi-Wan replied politely, “But we have to finish up here and we will be going slowly with the lizards.”

     “Thank you, Initiate, we would like to accompany you,” Master Jinn stated quietly.

      Obi-Wan considered that there would be nothing else constructive to say so he turned and caught up the reins on one of the carrying Fambaa while Jah’nne hurried to fetch the other. 

     Reppi and Maul started pulling the baskets over to the Fambaas.To Obi-Wan surprise both Masters and Padawans immediately offered helping hands.Everything was loaded and ready.

     Obi-Wan turned his fambaa and began to lead the way back along the woodland path to the Creche.Clarissa gamboled around them happily which alarmed the Padawans no end.Master Tiin was trying desperately not to laugh.Maul was helping by scampering about like a mad thing in and out of the group. 

     Jah’nne walked close to her own Fambaa but Obi-Wan noticed that Master Windu had engaged her in conversation and the pair seemed involved in a deep discussion which did not seem to concerned her prominent protuberances.Obi-Wan walked beside his own Fambaa.

     Master Jinn was walking with Master Tiin and the Padawans hovered near Obi-Wan.Reppi was almost glued to his side.

     “Reppi, what is the matter with you?” he whispered.

     “She’s trying to initiate sexual behavior with you,” was the hissed reply.

     “Who is?”

     “That short dark-haired one; who smooched you first.”

      “Don’t be silly.I met Sabé on Coruscant and we became friends.She is Master Jinn’s ward and Master Tin’s newest Padawan.She knows perfectly well I’m not interested in her anymore than she’s interested in me.”

     “Obi?”

     “What, dear?”

     “Are you interested in me?”

     Obi-Wan’s spirits sank he loved Reppi dearly but didn’t want to bond with her anymore than he wanted to lay with her sexually.

     “We must discuss this later.”

     Reppi snorted and fell back but stayed on the other side of the Fambaa than the Padawans

     “Obi-Wan?”

     He turned at Sabé’s soft voice she came nearer,

     “What . . . what is that?”

     He looked at her, “what’s what?”

     She indicated the lizard.

    “Oh, this is a Giant Fambaa lizard.They are native to the swampy area of our planet.They are very gentle, plant eaters and good at digging.We’ve been digging chocolate.”

     He reached up to the nearest basket and pulled a husk free.Hunt and Pehkk had clustered near him to hear about the lizard and were watching as he peeled back the tough husk exposing the rich, dark, soft chocolate beneath.Hunt breathed dreamily

     “Ohhh, that smells soooo good!When will it be ready to eat?”

     Obi-Wan used a piece of peel to scoop out a bite and held it out.

     “Right now.”

     He was amused that Hunt obviously remembered his Naboo ways and instead of taking the husk piece from him, simply ate the chocolate off it from his fingers.Her eyes closed in ecstasy.

     “Mmm, that’s lovely!Better than anything I’ve had from shops.”

      Both Pehkk and Sabé leaned in for their share.Obi-Wan turned to the Masters.He was surprised to see that Tiin was walking along slightly behind the group and somehow Master Jinn was on the other side of his Fambaa’s head.The Master’s hands were resting lightly on the bridle harness directly on the other side of Obi-Wan’s.Obi-Wan dropped his eyes he didn’t know what to say. 

     Master Jinn was behaving as though he still thought highly of Obi-Wan but he had never repeated his offer to train again and had not discussed Obi-Wan oblique comment that he could only accept a soul-bond. 

     Obi-Wan was puzzled about Master Jinn consenting to return here.  He could only conclude that Master Windu had convinced him to come.This in itself was odd.Master Jinn did have great influence over Master Windu but he consented to come back to a place which he had made obvious he did not enjoy or relish returning to. 

     Obi-Wan sneaked a glance at the Master across the fambaa’s head.Master Jinn was walking with a very preoccupied air and did not appear to be appreciating anything of the scenery at all. Obi-Wan was most grateful when the soft undulating curves of the outer buildings of their Creche came into view. 

     Obi-Wan paused then reached over to Jah’nne.The eldest initiate was still deep in discussion with Master Windu and simply handed the reins of her fambaa over to Obi-Wan.He nodded for the rest of the guests to follow Jah’nne and Master Windu.He turned away quickly not having the heart to deal further with Master Jinn.

     “Maullie.” he said gently, “Please bring Clarissa with these two and we’ll help HI-55 with all this.”

     Fortunately Maul bounded to his side to help.Obi-Wan sneaked a glance at his former Creche-mate, Maul seemed a little tense but when Clarissa butted her head into his back and licked him with her slab of a tongue that was the size of the front door, Maul seemed to brighten up immediately. 

     Obi-Wan lead the other two humming, occasionally grunting, Fambaas around to the rear entrance.He braced himself and then heard the piercing shrieks of his Mistress as she greeted the Masters into her Creche and told Jah’nne to tidy herself all in the same breathe and decibel level. 

     He pulled the fambaas to the back door and removed their harnesses.He could see Maul helping him out of the corner of his eye.He sighed and lifted down the loaded baskets one after another.He had helped HI-55 with this work ever since Master Yoda had first taught him to help around the Creche.He had studied and practiced the ways of the Jedi and he had helped HI-55 run the Creche.He would miss doing this.

     He had meditated on Master Yoda’s words.He knew in his heart that the aging Jedi Master was planning on closing the Temple or turning it over to another Trainer.Obi-Wan didn’t care nor did he want to know who this newcomer would be.He wanted to leave while Yoda was still Master.

     Yoda was his Trainer and if he couldn’t be bonded to a soul-mate, he didn’t not want to follow in another trainer’s path.He lifted down the next basket and there was Sabé holding out her hands to help, behind her were Pehkk and Hunt.

     “Go inside with your Masters ,” Obi-Wan said gently.“We’ll be finished here in a moment.”

     The Padawans turned and trotted obediently indoors, eliciting further shrieks of delight from the Mistress.

     Obi-Wan hefted the last basket and settled it within the large, airy pantry.He turned and saw Maul hoiked up against the doorway and Clarissa’s big head rubbing against his stomach, knocking his head gently against the top of the door then letting him back down.Maul was patting her idly but his yellow eyes were fixed on Obi-Wan.

     “What?” Obi-Wan asked.Maul pushed himself off the wall and leaned against Clarissa’s head.

     “You order those Padawans about like you’re a Knight.”Maul sidled closer, “What happened on Coruscant?For that matter what happened on Alderaan?You’ve changed.I didn’t notice it so much at first but now I do.What happened to you?”

     The red-skinned head chunked its chin against his shoulder.Obi-Wan stared into the deepening green of the forests about their home.

     He could hear Maul breathing in his ear.He had been whole when he had gone to Alderaan.There he had been shaken, Coruscant had broken him.He smiled sadly and reached up to pat the red skin now all but obliterated by black smears of sith geometric tattoos.

     “I could ask you the same question, my dear.”

     The two young beings looked at each other. Obi-Wan felt the tears burn in his eyes and run twin trails down his cheeks.Maul shivered and clutched his own shoulders. Obi-Wan sighed shakily and pulled the younger to himself.

     “C’mere, brat.”

     He felt the younger being’s arms clamp tight around him, as he automatically moved his cheek aside to dodge the sharp stumpy horns from impaling him.Maul pushed away after a few moments and stared at his reflection in one of the highly polished scalding pans.

     “I hate these tattoos,” he said quietly.Obi-Wan drew near him again and embraced him from behind around the waist.

     “I think there are ways of getting rid of them.It might hurt, dear.”

     “I just hate them,” with more vehemence than before.

     “Because they represent the Sith?”

     Maul shook his horned head hard, pulled a glum face, prodded his eyebrows and sucked in his cheeks.He pointed at his reflection wildly,

     “Look!See!See that?!?” he cried, agonized. “These stupid designs!I hate them!They . . . They . . . They make my face look fat!”

     Obi-Wan had no reply except tacit agreement.The black geometric patterns did nothing for Maul’s fine square, cheek bones and endless forehead.Maul sighed and seemed so unnaturally glum. 

     “Promise you won’t tell Pal,” he said dully.Obi-Wan nodded,

     “He doesn’t need to know unless you’re ready to tell him, dearest.” Obi-Wan felt he really ought to do his utmost to empower his former Creche-mate.

     “I only got this one on my neck and I hated them so much I made the guy use permanent ink for the rest of them.” 

     Obi-Wan goggled slightly at this revelation and Maul grabbed Obi-Wan’s tunic front.

     “Obi, what’ll I do?I haven’t had a bath for three weeks!My clothes are sticking to me.Nothing else fits under my fingernails!My underwear is starting to disintegrate!I’m beginning to think that I smell funny!”

     Maul snatched Obi to him and sobbed noisily and very snottily on him.Obi-Wan was forced to admit Maul had a point about smelling.His eyes were watering worse than they had when Maul had sported his last rash and there was a distinct smell of pee about the red-skinned one.

     “Clarissa!” Maul wailed.“Oh, my Clarissa!I’m in love!I’m in love with a giant, beautiful, sexy, delicious lizard named Clarissa and I’m bonded to a middle-aged Senator whose boring in bed!My life is vile!!”

     Obi-Wan was inclined to worry a little. He settled for simply holding the younger one close and breathing through his mouth. 

     HI-55 found them that way.The droid stared confusedly for a moment then made a few clanking noises and, when the beings drew apart, informed them that the Mistress was demanding that they get clean and present themselves for snackies.

     Shortly Maul and Obi-Wan were making their way downstairs.Maul in sithy blacks and Obi-Wan in his traditional Initiate whites.Maul bumped into Obi-Wan and the pair stopped. 

     “What?” Obi-Wan asked as Maul had a look of naughtiness in his eyes.Maul blinked then grinned,

     “Don’t we look cute together?”

     Obi-Wan regarded his former Creche-mate with a smile,

     “Now there’s an adjective that had not occurred to me.Come, dear, HI-55 said that they were waiting for us to begin snackies.”

     He was rather amused.The Coruscant crowd was going to get their first taste of proper Nabooeze snackies at their Temple.HI-55 was famous over the planet for her skill at creating delicate dainties and many flavors of fruit teas and Mistress Fan’iy was famed for her conversational gossip, flair for serving and Fiesta-ware.

     Obi-Wan turned and shoulder to giggling shoulder, the pair came down the stairs.Maul was busy doing an exaggerated sashay as he walked and fell over his own feet.A hand and a flip of the Force and Obi-Wan had him back on his clawed feet.Maul just giggled again.Obi-Wan turned and there were the guests and all the members of the Creche staring up at them.Palpatine came forward as the two reached the bottom of the staircase.

     “So nice to see an Initiate of the Force helping a senatorial consort with sithy tendencies.But does it make you rather sithy, initiate?” Palpatine smirked openly at Obi-Wan who smiled politely and slid his arm around Maul.

     “It doesn’t make him anything.It is a simple reinforcement that I still consider him part of my Creche, which is of the Force.And you may make of that what you choose.”

     Obi-Wan took Maul’s hand firmly in his and went to Jah’nne side as she started to follow Master Yoda into the parlor.

     Later during the refreshments Obi-Wan was at liberty to examine the guests.Master Yoda was deep in conversation with Master Jinn, who he treated with remarked familiarity.Obi-Wan noted that although Master Jinn was not seated at the elder’s feet he might as well have been the attention he was giving to the Master. Master Windu and Jah’nne were seated together again deep in talk. 

     Master Tiin was gently trying to encourage Khi’to and Flas-Ok to chat but Khi’to was obviously too tongue-tied to say a word, if the blank expression in his huge dark eyes was anything to go by, and Flas would only speak in quotations. 

     Mistress Fan’iy was chatting and regaling the Padawans with exciting tales of her youth as a dancing girl at an extremely rich but very ugly gangster’s casino palace on Endor. 

     Senator Palpatine was glaring out the window and Maul, Obi-Wan looked down at his lap where Maul had unsuccessfully tried to curl up.He was, as a result, sprawled across the sofa and Obi-Wan, snoring gently.Obi-Wan patted the young one and smiled. 

     He raised his eyes and looked directly into Master Jinn’s.He blushed and also encountered Master Yoda looking at both of them.Yoda’s eyes twinkled and Obi-Wan heart sank.

     He really didn’t feel like being teased about mistakes of his youth before Master Jinn. 

     “Most secretive Obi-my-Obi has been.”Master Yoda said conversationally, “Nothing he tells me of his time at Temple.Of his behavior and conduct you must tell me, Padawan.”Yoda curled one of his legs beneath him. 

     Obi-Wan stared at his Trainer, then looked wide-eyed at Master Jinn whose cheeks were slightly pink.

     “Padawan?Master Jinn was your Padawan, Master Yoda?” Obi-Wan’s voice sounded slightly higher than he had planned.Master Yoda widened his eyes at him.

     “My Padawan apprentice Qui-Gon was.Tell you this he did not?”

     Obi-Wan stared at Master Jinn, who shrugged helplessly.

     “If I had known Master Yoda was your trainer, my . . . er . . . Obi . . . Initiate Kenobi.I would have told you immediately.I was unaware you even knew Master Yoda.”

     Obi-Wan grimaced, Master Yoda must have guessed that something was between them.Obi-Wan sighed and his hand went automatically to toy with his chain.His chain!Obi-Wan realized he hadn’t needed to tell Master Yoda anything.He had been blatantly advertising everything Jinn had done to him. 

     He swallowed carefully and started to free himself of Maul, so that he could some how manage to leave the room.His face was burning.Of all the stupid things he had done in his life this topped the list.He had not only openly stated what had happened between himself and Jinn but robbed Jinn of the right to state further that he had not initiated and there was no relationship.They had enjoyed a few days of satisfying sex but there was no more he was certain. 

     He lifted Maul carefully but the younger being woke up abruptly. 

     “What’s going on?Where are you going, Obi?”

     “Just let me up, dear.”

     “You’re as red as my ass.Whud you do, come in your pants?”

     “Maullie . . . ”

     “You’re uptight.You’re playing with your new necklace again.By the way you never told me where you got that?”

     “Maul!”

     Obi-Wan twisted up but Maul being his usual playfully annoying self remained lying on the sofa but wrapped his legs around Obi-Wan’s waist and wouldn’t let go.

     “C’mon Obi, Telltelltell!You’re blushing so it’s got to be good!So, who did you have to fuck?”

     Obi-Wan struggled but realized that he was not going to be able to get out of this one without resorting to extremes.He turned a playful eye on the younger.

     “Why would you even think I had to do any thing?”

     Maul grumped at him and settled for flopping back and trying to kick Obi-Wan, who moved adroitly out of range.He was smiling but he thought he was going to die of mortification.He hoped Master Jinn would forgive him.He sneaked a peek at the Master and received a slight smile.Master Yoda on the other hand looked quite satisfied as though he had arranged the entire episode.Obi-Wan began to wonder it he had and resolved to wear the chain beneath his tunic from now on.

     “Obi-Wan!” cried the Mistress “What is going on?You look like a Sando bit your bottom.Are you behaving yourself properly before your Master and his guests?”

     Obi-Wan could do nothing beyond bowing low to his mistress and looking pleadingly at Master Yoda.The tiny green Master motioned a finger and Obi-Wan happily curled at his feet.He looked up into his beloved Masters eyes and Master Yoda leaned forward and gently pressed his ridged green lips to Obi-Wan’s creamy forehead.Obi-Wan laid his head in his Trainer’s lap his hair spilling across the little being’s legs and feet.

     Obi-Wan saw Master Jinn move closer and Master Yoda looked up, shifting so that the two Masters touched. Obi-Wan realized that Master Yoda shifted again ever so slightly in that when Master Jinn rested his hands on his own knees he could subtly thread his fingers through a few of Obi-Wan’s curls.Obi-Wan sighed with pleasure. 

     He allowed himself to drift on the pleasing sensation of the Masters stroking his hair.Perhaps it was fun that they had met the Masters after all.None of them seemed terribly upset that the speeder had been sat on nor that their friends had disappeared off to who knew where.

     The residue chocolate in his system was making Obi-Wan rather sleepily and dreamy.He raised his eyes slightly and saw Maul still lying on the sofa.The younger seemed sulky but Obi-Wan knew from the way he held his eyes he was feeling left out.

     Obi-Wan smiled and held out his hand.A quick as a mudscupping pond eel Maul was off the couch and dumping as much of himself into Obi-Wan lap as he could.Master Yoda peered down at his newly apportioned footstool and Master Jinn looked rather surprised.Obi-Wan slipped his arm about the red-skinned creature and looked up at the Masters. 

     Yoda nodded slowly and Master Jinn’s eyebrows slowly returned to their normal space and a strange mixture of disgust and pity crossed his face.Obi-Wan cuddled Maul who was, to all intents and purposes, settling down for another nap. 

     For some reason, Obi-Wan wasn’t listening to the talk, Master Windu and Jah’nne came to sit with them.Jah’nne also slid to the floor and wrapped her arms about Obi-Wan.Obi-Wan almost giggled as Master Tiin joined them bringing Flas and Khi’to, who were happy to bump down on the floor next to their Creche-mates. 

     Two seconds later the Mistress went to chat to Palpatine who was being quite ignored by all the masters, and all three Padawans dove to join the Creche-mates on the floor.Obi-Wan relaxed against the Trainer and realized he no longer knew whether it was Master Yoda or Master Jinn who was playing with his hair.,Life was good.

     “Aaah, Initiate Kenobi.No wonder you look so happy.There’s no way the Bad Sando Aqua Monster can get you when you are so hidden as you are.”

     Obi-Wan lifted his eyes and regarded Palpatine, he didn’t understand why the senator was even mentioning the Sando.Mistress Fan’iy giggled.

     “Oh, go back to sleep, Obi-Wan.I was just telling the senator how funny you were as a child and believing in the Sando.”

     “What is a Sando?” Master Windu asked curiously.

     “Boss Nass was telling us about it last night.” Master Jinn reminded him. 

     “Ah, yes.An eight hundred meter long sea-monster, that has never been seen.Well, Initiate Kenobi.Don’t feel too badly, if I lived here as a child I would have to have a night-light until I turned into my twenties I’m sure with such a story.”

     “It’s not a story!”

     Maul sat up.Obi-Wan dodged away to avoid having Maul’s crown horn up his nose.

     “Silly yoro root!” cooed the Mistress.

     “It isn’t a story, Pally!” Maul insisted.“Why ever since Obi-Wan was six years old we’ve been banned from going within two miles of the shore line behind the Creche ‘cose Obi-Wan went to the beach once and came back screaming that he’d seen one.”

     Palpatine roared with laughter along with the Mistress, Khi’to and Flas.Jah’nne patted Obi-Wan’s shoulder, stifled her smile and gave smiling Master Windu a look.The Padawans were uncertain whether to giggle or not.Neither Master Yoda nor Master Jinn moved. 

     “Poor, scared little Obi,” teased Palpatine.“Maul dear, get up.You and I are going to take a walk along the beach two miles behind the Creche.I’ll bring the hover cam. You can pose in a bathing costume, my dear.”

     Maul leaped up with a delighted shriek and Obi-Wan felt sick to his stomach.

     “I’ll come with you,” he stated flatly.

     “You don’t have to,” Palpatine purred.Obi-Wan got to his feet and brushed his robe into place.

     “Let’s all go!” cried Pehkk.

     “No.Stay where you are.Actually Maul, you should stay too,”

     “No.”Maul was scampering out the door.

     Obi-Wan started to follow the Senator when Master Jinn’s voice made him turn.

     “Do you want us to follow you?”

     “No, Master Jinn, but thank you . . . ”Obi-Wan drank in the sight of the Master then bowed formally and quitted the room, perhaps, he thought, never to return.

     

     Obi-Wan stared out over the sparkling blue of the western shore on the Sea of Naboo.He had felt She move as soon as they had stepped on the two mile area.This area was floating land and She would be able to hear their footsteps, their talking, their very breaths. 

     Obi-Wan had been aware that She was moving near far beneath them through her tunnels.Obi-Wan didn’t care about Palpatine.He knew perfectly well the senator would very likely soil his robes and flee.Maul was more likely to try and play with Her. He wanted some how to protect Maul.

     The beach was sparkly and golden.Just as beautiful as it had been when he had first come here to meet the little one he had thought he had been sharing his dreams with. 

     Palpatine laughed and walked lightly down the sands and strolled out onto a natural jetty of huge boulders.Maul, attired in his green rubber pants and a matching straw sun hat, skipped after him, towing Obi-Wan by the hand.The two younger beings followed the senator to the mid-point of the jetty.

     “Aaaah, what a beautiful day!Initiate Kenobi!!Can I interest you in a swim?”Palpatine spun around shouting with laughter.“Oh little Maullie come here and I’ll toss you in.”

     “No.” Obi-Wan grabbed Maul’s hand and clutched it, pulling his former Creche-mate to him.Maul pulled away,

     “Obi, relax!You’ve nothing to be afraid of.Can’t you swim?”

     “No you don’t understand.Please Maul.Please stay behind me.”

     The two faced each other again.Maul cocked his head obviously puzzled by Obi-Wan reaction.

     “Maul!” Palpatine called.“Come here I say.”

     Maul paused, he was still watching Obi-Wan.Obi-Wan clung to Maul’s hands, he knew he could mind-whammie the brat but wanted him alert.

     “Maul!!”

     “Obi-Bunnie . . . ” Maul walked around facing Obi-Wan while blocking his view of the sea, “Did you really see something?”

     “Yes, dear.”

     “Maul!” again Palpatine roared at them.

     “Can you sense it?”

     “Yes, dear.”

     “Is it coming for us?”

     “Yes.”

     There was an explosion and Maul fell forward into Obi-Wan’s arms.Obi-Wan managed to duck the next set of bolts of Sithy purple lightening that shot from Palpatine’s hands.He started to back away, Maul still collapsed in his arms like overweight, smelly laundry.The charred remains of the jaunty sun hat floated away on the breeze.Palpatine raised his hands again.

     She rose out of the water.Her sheer size took Obi-Wan’s breath away. Her head bent, Her eyes staring at them.Her rosy gold skin was slightly mottled with brown.Her top fin shimmered in the late afternoon sun and the rippling flaps of Her vast gills framed Her immense face that was dominated, not surprisingly by Her massive mouth.She towered over them at Her full height.She was fuller taller that the Palace of NethaTheed.Her muscular body had no trace of fat or blubber like most deep-sea beings.She had told him that She and Her kind did not always dwell beneath the waves.Her gigantic hands and legs were only partially adapted into flippers.Her hands still had prominent fingers that were as dexterous as any other land being.

     She stood before them still and silent.Palpatine stared open-mouth.Obi-Wan clutched Maul to himself.He didn’t move as that would galvanize Her to attack.Maul moaned and staggered up climbing his Creche-mate’s chest.

     “Whathfuckwazzat?”

     “Hush, dearest.” Obi-Wan whispered, never taking his eyes from Her.Palpatine turned and gave Obi-Wan one wild look then lifted his hands with a yell at Her.

     “I strike you down, Monster.Know the power of a Sith Lord!”

     Purple lightening crackled upward.She looked down at Palpatine.She reached and grabbed him up in one clawed hand.His entire body was obscured by two of Her fingers.Palpatine’s head showed over the top as he rose in the air.Obi-Wan could hear him shrieking and cursing and offering large amounts of money.

     She stared at the tiny squeaking thing she held then Obi-Wan and Maul watched transfixed as Her thumb slid beneath Palpatine’s chin and, in one swift movement, flipped upward.Obi-Wan could see the tiny ball that was Palpatine’s head fly skyward at speed.She casually tossed the body into Her maw and swallowed it in a gulp. 

     She looked up opening Her mouth once again as the teeny head dropped gracefully down Her gullet after the body.She turned and looked down at Obi-Wan and Maul. 

     Obi-Wan shoved Maul behind him and looked back up at Her.

     * _Obi-Wan?_ *

     * _Yes._ *

     *I _have eaten Palpatine.Do you feel better?_ *

     * _I . . . I thank you . . . yes._ *

     She leaned down.Obi-Wan stood his ground.He had never been this close to Her.She smelt of sea-water and clean cavern-kelp.Her face was half an arms length from him.Her eyes looked into his.

     * _I’m still hungry.Would you like to come to me?_ *

     * _Will you let my little one run away?_ *

      She rose back and towered to her full height once more.

     * _Flee_.*

     “Run, dear.”

     Clutching Maul’s hand, Obi-Wan fled up the beach and up the knoll leading to the forest.The sweet green wood was dotted with beautiful pools.Obi-Wan knew that each one of them was one of Her breathing holes.He hustled Maul into the trees and, using the Force, guided them to jump from branch to branch never once touching the ground.Each time they traversed or circumnavigated one of the pools, Her head would appear or a clawed hand would reach for them. 

     Maul gasped each time but made no other protest.Obi-Wan was frozen into the route they were taking.He had known it since that first and last time he had been chased by Her.But he had meditated among these trees all his life and grown with them.He knew which route to take.The safe ground opened out before him. 

     He leapt from the final tree, dragging Maul after him and they crashed to the solid ground in a heap and Obi-Wan rolled them all the way down the hill. 

     Everything stopped.Obi-Wan sat up.He was shaking all over and he managed to look back up the hill.Two eyes peered from the trees and a clawed hand finger-walked down the knoll.The fingers reached and the index one shaking in a stretch.Obi-Wan couldn’t move anymore.One nail flipped a red-gold curl and finger and thumb held on.Obi-Wan scrabbled about for a purchase but there was none.He had no weapon.She had him by his hair and She would eat him.

     There was a blinding flash of green light and Obi-Wan was free.Master Jinn picked him up and carried him to safety.

     Maul rolled over his yellow eyes still transfixed on Her.She reached once more.There was a mooing bellow and Clarissa rushed forward.With a roar of satisfaction, She grabbed both in Her fist and threw them down Her gullet. 

     Obi-Wan screamed in horror and tried to escape Jinn’s arms.The Temple door burst opened and the entire contents of the Creche including guests and droids rushed out and stopped dead on the steps staring at She who was now standing upright from one of Her breathing holes.She towered over the trees and She flung back Her head and roared.The noise was something between an exploding hyperdrive system and a rodent in a blender only several thousand times louder. 

     She wavered about then stopped and stood there. She cocked Her head one way then the other.Then, as Obi-Wan stared from the safety of Jinn’s arms, it seemed as though She suddenly developed a bad case of hiccups.With another yell of rage, She rolled forward Her maw open and Obi-Wan saw Her belly constrict and something flew out of Her mouth at them.

     Everyone on the Temple steps dove for cover as a massive something came hurtling at them and took out all eight of the front porch decorative pillars.She roared again and still standing over them glared then using Her left paw, manipulated Her right paw until only the middle digit was erect.This She shook and waved at them all derisively then with a mighty crash, leapt up, and dove head first down Her breathing hole.

     There was a sudden rumble under the ground and on the other side of the garden Her head popped up again.She peered through the trees at them. 

Obi-Wan stared into Her eyes once more.

     * _Looks like you got away again, Obi-Wan._ *

     Years later Obi-Wan still swore up and down that She winked.

     Obi-Wan opened his eyes and peered about, struggling slightly as he was being carried.He looked up into Master Jinn’s midnight blue eyes.Obi-Wan assured Master Jinn he was fine and convinced the Master to put him down on the front door step.Fortunately Master Yoda had mind-whammied the porch roof and this he now levitated over to the compost heap. 

     Everyone turned and looked as the missile, which She had coughed up, started to unroll itself.Sando spit-covered Clarissa got to her feet and shook herself violently.Master Yoda ducked behind the door to be the only one now not also covered in saliva.

     “Allergic to Fambaa, Sandos are.Very lucky Clarissa is.”

     Clarissa shook herself slightly then burped loudly and was promptly sick on the Temple steps.Obi-Wan gave a cry of joy for there, slimy and ooze-covered as the day he had been hatched, sat Maul.Obi-Wan rushed over as the younger one looked up and seemed really confused as to what had happened to him.Obi-Wan embraced his muck-covered Creche-mate who looked up at him eyes large and full of wonder.

     “Obi-Bunnie,” in a small voice.

     “Yes, dear I’m here, everything’s alright.See, Clarissa’s here too.She’s fine.”

     Maul squiggled round and almost reverently touched the Fambaa’s blunt nose.

    “Clarissa . . . She . . . ” He turned and looked at Obi-Wan again.“She saved me, Obi.She knew the Sando couldn’t eat her so she ate me to save me.”

     “She’s a very clever lizard,” Obi-Wan concurred then he noticed the look in Clarissa’s reptilian eyes as the Fambaa mooed comfortingly and started to lick slop off Maul. 

     “And I think she loves you,” Obi-Wan finished gently.Maul leaned happily against the broad tongue,

     “And I love her.”He sighed and was happy a moment then looked up.

     “The Sando ate Pal, right?”

     Chagrined, Obi-Wan patted Maul gently.

     “I am sorry, dear.I wish there was something I could say or do to help you bear this loss of a bond mate.”

      Maul played with the stone step with his clawed toe.He scratched the stone with his big claw, had himself a quick game of toetictat and lost, then smiled surprisingly sweetly at Obi-Wan.

    “It’s alright.I mean I liked him and he seemed like fun on Hoth.Once we were bonded he started being boring.It was kind of like seeing the toy of your dreams in the “Rattle, Wiggle and Bounce” catalog, you spend all your pocket money on it and then you realize that the fine print reads ‘insertable portion three and a half standard inches.’ ”

     Master Jinn choked on his own breath and Obi-Wan frowned, shaking his head at him.Master Jinn subsided with a discreet smirk.Maul sighed deeply.

     “Actually all I could think about when the Sando ate him was that silly rhyme we used to recite when we ate T’õe-tzee rh’oll fruits.Remember that funny fruit?It was shaped like a person sort of.It had this little bally-y bit on top of this juicy oblong lower part.We’d flick the bobbly bit off singing, ‘The Chancellor turned the corner and his head popped off’.”

     Master Jinn accidentally cleared his sinuses and, shaking, turned away.Obi-Wan slipped his arms about his young Creche-mate and brought him into the Temple.

 

     “Oooh, Obi-Bunnie, how perfectly awful for you.How frightened you must have been.”Jah’nne rubbed softly scented shampoo into Obi-Wan long curls.Once everyone had recovered from their individual reactions to viewing the Sando standing, eating, hurling and flipping the bird at them.

     The Housekeeper had thrown fifty fits in sixty different colors and demanded that both Maul and Obi-Wan be flung into the hot soaking tub to calm their nerves.If she had not been in considerable awe of him she would probably have told Master Jinn to go in with them.

     As it was the contents of the entire Creche and the guests of the Temple were sitting around watching and talking as the two sat in the steaming waters meekly submitting to the Housekeeper’s scolding and medicinals.HI-55 hurried back and forth with soaps, lotions, foaming washes, talcs, and scrubbies. 

     Master Yoda perched on a towel rack and regarded his initiates with banal amusement.Masters Jinn, Tiin, and Windu sat near on the closed lids of the matching commodes.The Padawans and the initiates sat together in a cute little line on a low bench.

     Maul spun in place watching Clarissa, who was staring through the window which was only big enough to fit her head to her cheeks.Maul had recovered his happy mood considerably.The best part seemed that not only was he getting a bath but Clarissa’s stomach juices had completely dissolved the permanent ink ‘tattoos’.Maul was back to being the red-skinned pest he had always been.Obi-Wan felt as though justice, in a bizarre way had been served. 

     He leaned back relaxing as Jah’nne finished scrubbing behind his ears.She told him to hold his breath while she ducked him to get the soap out.Jah’nne rinsed Obi-Wan hair then stopped, puzzled.

     “Obi-Bunnie, what happened to your hair?”

     This simple expression elicited a scream from the Housekeeper, who leapt to the tub side and grabbed Obi-Wan by his hair.

     “It’s been cut!” she howled.“You let someone cut your hair!!You, an initiate, and I find you’ve let someone cut your hair.Unbonded!No offers to bond and you have cut hair!You slut!You whore!!You nasty, little, prostitoo-oo-oote!!!” Mistress Fan’iy all but dragged him out of the tub by his hair

     Obi-Wan stared at his Mistress in horror.

     “Who did this to you?Who is responsible for this disgusting act?!?” She screamed, enraged beyond reason.

     “Mistress Fan’iy.”Master Jinn’s soothing tones interrupted her shrieks.“I am responsible.I had to cut his hair to free him from the Sando.There is nothing shameful in that surely.As for the other I took that when we sparred together in the Main ring at the Tourney at NethaTheed.The initiate is blameless.”

     “The Tourney!” Mistress Fan’iy squalled, “You cut his hair at that tourney!Libertine! Anarchist!Desperado!Pug-ugly-hoodlum!WhoreMaster!Sexual gorilla!Ogre!Foul fiend! Recidivist!Pervert!Deviant!Nymphomaniac!You pimp!How dare you cut my innocent’s hair!” 

     Obi-Wan eeped in horror as his Mistress clenched his head in her armpit, and nearly strangled him as she backed Master Jinn into a corner, screaming and telling him that he was a seducer and every kind of sexually evil thing she could think of.Which, of course, considering her background, made her tirade quite extensive and, fortunately, for this writer, quite untype-able.

     The only thing that stopped her mid-sentence was Master Yoda finally clearing his throat and delivering a mind-whammie.The rather embarrassed guests collected themselves and left with promises to return very soon.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

     Obi-Wan yawned and stretched. He felt quite refreshed but still a little confused. There was almost no room at all in his little bed and it was very breezy.

     He rubbed his eyes and looked about. He was in his traditional sleepwear but his covers were flung off and over an extremely large lizard head that was sticking through the window the rest of which was stuffed with lizard upper body and front legs. Maul was sprawled across the other side of him.

    Obi-Wan sighed. He remembered being half-asleep when he had consented to Maul’s plea to sleep with Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan didn’t remember ever giving Maul or Clarissa permission for Clarissa to be there too. Obi-Wan had sensed that his first mistake was when Maul had come tromping through late last evening, flumpled himself down on the bed and wheedled his way into braiding Obi-Wan’s hair. Obi-Wan had been so sleepy with the excitement, medications, baths, and Master Jinn, he was exhausted and retired early to bed. He had been close to sleep when Maul had finished his hair and Obi-Wan had simply mumbled thanks his Creche-mate and curled to sleep.

     Obi-Wan reached back to feel what sort of braid Maul had made. Obi-Wan frowned then explored his hair some more. It felt a little funny. He rose and peered in the mirror. His hair was a braiding nightmare.

     Of course, it would be lovely if it was a piece of macramé but this was hair. Obi-Wan moaned. He hadn’t a clue how he was going to comb out this mess. He hoped and prayed Jah’nne would help him. He slipped his shawl about him and padded along the hallway. He tapped on her door and slipped in.

     Jah’nne smiled then looked worried

     “Obi-Bunnie, what happened to your . . . ”

     “Maul tried to braid it last night and I let him.”

    “Oh dear- ” “Jah’nne! Oh, my dearest Jah’nne!!” Half-dressed, Mistress Fan’iy came rushing into the room. Both initiates looked at each other wondering with vague horror what was making the Housekeeper so excited this time round.

     “Oh, look at you! You're not even dressed! He’s here! He is here!!”

     “Who is here Mistress.”

     “Master Windu!!”

     Jah’nne turned pale.

     “Oh, get your things on, calm yourself in the Force and hurry up! SA7-24, come and help Jah’nne with her robes. What in the sixty-nine hells have you done to your hair, Obi? Never mind! Wrapped it in something.”

     Jah’nne struggled into her tunic and leggings, while hopping up and down to get her soft indoor boots on.

     “Oh, Mistress,” she cried. “Why not let Khi’to go down, he’s all dressed.”

     Khi’to grinned and made a face at Maul.

     “Look, I have my new breeches on!” he pointed out.

     Maul lifted his Creche-mate’s tunic and looked at the skintight leggings. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, saying

     “You got those on by yourself?”

     “Yes!” Khi’to snapped.

     “Ooo!” snickered Maul, “That must have been like trying to stuff a couple of jelly balloons into a disc-drive.”

     “Shut up!” screamed the Mistress and threw her slippers at them just as they all heard HI-55 letting Master Windu into the foyer. Maul leaped off to his bedroom and Obi-Wan hurried to his own room to find something to wear.

     Moments later, Mistress Fan’iy was in her chair, next to Master Windu and the Initiates were all seated in a row on a low settle before them. All looked dressed and Obi-Wan had flung a day hood over the back of his head, which for the most part obscured the mess Maul had made of his hair.

     Mistress Fan’iy made some polite conversation in which the Creche learned that Master Jinn had returned to Coruscant on some errand or other and was expected back either the next day or the one after.

     Mistress Fan’iy was obviously only half listening as she kept winking at the younger members of the Creche. Bored senseless and completely clueless as to what the Mistress was trying to achieve, Flas-Ok begged to be excused and return to her studies.

     The Mistress all but shooed her out. One down and ready to get the rest of them out, the Housekeeper turned and looked at Maul, who was wrapped in his initiate walking robe.

     “Maul, my sohli bark, why are you wearing a walking robe?”

     Maul grinned hugely and flung off the white robe.

     “Cose I’m not wearing any pants!” he shouted gleefully.

     Master Windu swallowed and was obviously at a loss for any reaction.  

     "Maullie!” cried the Housekeeper, “Where are your pants? Come with me right now!”

     She snatched him by the nostrils and dragged him off the couch and to the door. Maul managed to get to his feet and rubbed his butt which had made violent contact with the floor when the Mistress had removed him from his seat. The Housekeeper turned imperiously.

     “Khi’to! You, too. I want to speak to you.” Khi’to, leery of Maul’s present position sidled out behind the Mistress with one hand on his face and the other covering his rear.

     Jah’nne made a small, yet still polite strangling noise, while Obi-Wan sighed and slid to the floor, pretending he was going to meditate.

     Seconds later, HI-55 came in.

     “Er . . . Initiate Kenobi? The Mistress wants you upstairs . . . er . . . your hair is too messy to sit in the front room.”

     HI-55 slid out and Obi-Wan got to his feet. He went to the door shrugged to Jah’nne in a helpless way and followed the droid through to the Housekeeper’s chambers.

    “Mistress, please let me go back. Master Windu didn’t notice my hair and Jah’nne asked me to stay with her.”

     “Stay where you are or I’ll nail your botty to that chair. Five more standard minutes will do the trick.”

     After the longest five standard minutes Obi-Wan had ever endured he scampered back down the stairs. He figured that Jah’nne and Windu would be having another deep discussion but when he swung into the parlor he was quite surprised to see Jah’nne sprawled on the floor, her robes all over the sofa and Master Windu enthusiastically boinking her brains out.

     “Oh, excuse me.” Obi-Wan turned and went back out. Fortunately neither had noticed him. He tried to walk mindfully in the hall but was distracted by the rhythmic bonk-“Yes!”-bonk- “Yes!”-bonk-“Yes!” coming from the parlor.

     About ten standard minutes later, Obi-Wan smelled the scent of sage weed cigarettes and crept up the stairs. He turned and stomped down them and knocked into a vase, tripped on the hall rug, swore loudly then tromped his way to the parlor door. He opened it and went in.

     Master Windu and Jah’nne, both fully dressed, were standing quietly near the window.

     “Oh, excuse me,” Obi-Wan cooed and started to back away.

     “Oh, do stay, Obi-Bunnie,” Jah’nne called. Master Windu murmured something to her and slide out, grinning at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan turned to his Creche-mate.

     “Well?” She hippity-hopped in tip-toes and clapped her fingertips together then rushed to hug him.

     “Oh Obi-Bunnie! It is too much! By far too much! I don’t deserve it! I’m so happy! Oh, Obi-Bunnie! He loves me! He wants to soul-bond! He loves me!”

     Obi-Wan just giggled and smooched his Creche-mate’s forehead.

     “Of course, he loves you, silly!”

     “He’s gone to talk to Master Yoda. I must tell our Mistress. Why can’t everyone be so happy! I have to tell Mistress Fan’iy! Oh, Obi-Bunnie! I must go and tell the Housekeeper. ”

     “So, go already.” Obi-Wan couldn’t resist gently slapping her butt to actually get her out of the room.

     Master Yoda was pleased. Mistress Fan’iy was ecstatic and after Master Windu left. She could not be quiet on the subject. Master Yoda congratulated his eldest gently and she went instantly to his side.

     “A good girl, you are,” he smiled genially. “Do very well together you and Windu should. So obliging you are, solved diplomatic problems will never be. So easy you both are that cheat you every senator shall. So generous you both are, disciplined, Padawans will never be.”

     “Never disciplined?” cried Mistress Fan’iy. “Oh, Master Yoda, how can you say such things. Don’t you know he is a member of the Jedi High Council!”

     Master Yoda rolled his eyes and tramped back inside leaving the Housekeeper to pat Jah’nne shoulders and coo.

     “Oh my dear, dear Jah’nne I am so happy. I knew how it would be. The Force declared it to me so! I was sure that you could not have such a high midi-chlorian level for nothing. Or such fabulous boobage. Oh! He is the most Force-sensitive, well-hung Master that ever was.”

     The rest of the Creche trailed back inside the temple leaving Jah’nne and Obi-Wan to embrace once more.

     “Oh, Obi-Bunnie, if only I could see you as happy. If only there was such a Master for you.”

     Obi-Wan smooched his Creche-mate again and wrapped his arms about her tighter.

     “If you were to give me forty such Masters, I could never be as happy as you, Jah’nne.”

     The two started to stroll arm in arm into the Temple.

     “No, until I have your midi-chlorians I cannot have your happiness. However, since it is unlikely that I will grow boobage as fabulous as yours without resorting to extremes . . . .” Obi-Wan turned and looked seriously at Jah’nne. “Perhaps if I have very good luck and trust in the Force I may just meet with another Senator Taa.”

     The Creche-mates entered the Temple almost wetting their undergarments with laughter.

     The state of affairs at the Creche was not long a secret. The Mistress whispered it to Jar Jar Binks, who told Mistress Fhil’eep, who happily told everyone she knew, was acquainted with or just happened to accost in the street. Before the day was done, the most popular planetary newsvendor declared their Creche to be the luckiest, Force-Blessed and Force-Empowered Creche anywhere in the galaxy, which was strange as with the events of Maul’s bonding and loss it was generally supposed that the Force was acting upon the general sithiness of the Creche.

     Obi-Wan shrugged and hoped that at some point someone would help him with his hair.


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

     The very next day dawned fair and beautiful and Master Windu arrived at the breakfast table before HI-55 put the cloth down.

     Afterwards Jah’nne and Master Windu walked out mindfully. Maul rushed out to play with Clarissa. Flas-Ok went to Otoh Gunga for the afternoon and Master Yoda locked the door to his chambers.

     Mistress Fan’iy, Khi’to and Obi-Wan were seated in the foyer winding colo claw fish bait when there was the sound of a speeder. Khi’to peeked out and gasped.

     “Mistress, there’s the most enormous speeder!”

     Mistress Fan’iy looked and widened her eyes,

     “That’s a planet skimmer, my dear.”

     They heard HI-55 opening the door and protesting a little. The resonant voice made Obi-Wan want to be sick.

     “Where is he?”

     “If you’d just wait, sir.”

     “No, I will not wait. Is this the place?”

     HI-55 rushed in and babbled

     “Mistress, the Supreme Chancellor.”

     Obi-Wan stared as Finis Valorum entered the room with an air more than usually ungracious, made no salutation, and sat down heavily in the largest chair.

     After sitting a moment in silence as the Chancellor stared about the room. Mistress Fan’iy stood stock still, her mouth opening and shutting like a badly-oiled chronometer and Khi’to tried to hid under the couch but wouldn’t fit. Obi-Wan blinked and waited for the Chancellor to say something. He did and very nastily.

     “That I suppose is your trainer.”

     “No, Chancellor. Mistress Fan’iy is our Temple Housekeeper. Our Master is not available.”

     “I see. That I suppose is one of your Creche members.”

     Indicating Khi’to’s trembling bottom sticking out from under the couch. Mistress Fan’iy grabbed his belt and hauled him out, smiling,

     “Yes, Supreme Chancellor.” Mistress Fan’iy was delighted to speak to such a celebrity.

     “Khi’to is my youngest but one. My youngest was lately bonded but since the other day, is now widowed. We are all quite sad as you can well imagine.”

     Mistress Fan’iy beamed happily and held a squirming Khi’to beside her.

    “You have a very small Temple here,” the Chancellor snapped peering about before continuing. “And this must be a most inconvenient room for meditating in. The windows are not double glazed and lack sun-curtains.”

     “Oh, we never meditate in here, Supreme Chancellor, we-”

     “Initiate Kenobi,” Chancellor Valorum turned and fixed Obi-Wan with his cold, fishy eyes. “There seems to be a prettyish little bog on one side of your Temple gardens. I think I’d like to view it closely, If you would favor me with your company.”

     Obi-Wan bowed slightly taking the order, as there was no way even Flas would mistake it for a mere serving suggestion, and followed the Chancellor out.

     The older humanoid stomped rapidly along the path. Reaching the fish pond, he whirled and glared at Obi-Wan.

     “You can not pretend you don’t know why I’m here, Initiate.”

     Obi-Wan was surprised at that.

     “Actually sir, I have no idea. I assumed you were passing through and mistook our Temple for Otoh Gunga. People do. Otoh Gunga is underwater, you know. It’s the Gungan way.”

     Obi-Wan watched as the Chancellor ground his teeth a moment.

     “Initiate Kenobi you ought to know that I am never to be teased or laughed at, except in the tabloids and I have a running law-suit with all of them. But however insincere you may choose to be you won’t find me so.

     "A report of a most alarming nature reached me two days ago. I was told that not only your Creche-mate was on the point of being bonded very well but that you, Initiate Obi-Wan Kenobi would, in all likelihood, be soon afterwards be not simply bonded as a padawan but soul-bonded to the Head trainer of the Coruscant Temple, Master Qui-Gon Jinn! Though I know this to be a scandalous falsehood. I instantly resolved on setting off for this backwater that I might make my sentiments known to you”

     Obi-Wan swallowed carefully, calmed himself in the Force, told She to go away and too a breath. 

     “Your coming to Lüng-b’urne to see me and my Creche-mates will be rather a confirmation of it. If indeed such a report exists.” Obi-Wan trembled inside, please please please let it exist, he thought desperately.

     “This is not to be put up with, Initiate Kenobi. I insist on knowing. Has Master Jinn offered you a soul-bond?"

     “Your Supremeness has declared it impossible.”

     “It ought to be. But your cute butt and mind-whammies may have made him forget what it means to be a Jedi Master. Your sithiness may have drawn him in.”

     “If I had, I’d be the last one to confess it,” Obi-Wan replied, rather grossed out by the fact that the Supreme Chancellor thought he had a cute butt.

     “Initiate Kenobi, do you know who I am?”

     “I do not think Your Supremeness would enjoy my answer to that question.”

     “You nasty little slut! I have not been accustomed to such behavior. I am almost the nearest non-Jedi relation he has in the universe, and am entitled to know all his dearest concerns.”

     “Well, you are not entitled to know mine and quite frankly your behavior certainly doesn’t make me want to share.”

     “Look here, you appalling creature, this match which you have the disgusting presumption to aspire to can never take place. Master Jinn is going to be bonded to my daughter. Now what have you to say?”

     “Only this, if he’s really that incredibly gifted . . . or stupid, you can have no reason to think he be after me; or my cute butt.”

     The Chancellor twitched in place a moment then went on.

     “Their bonding arrangement is of a peculiar kind.”

     “It would have to be.”

     “From her infancy I have intended that she be trained by him. And so have all my friends in the Senate. While she was in her cradle, we all planned the union. And this is to be prevented by some backwater slut- ”

     “New adjective. Please.”

     “Backwater tramp.”

     “Thank you.”

     “Of an inferior Temple. Your alliance would be a disgrace. Your name would never be spoken in the Senate.”

     “These are heavy misfortunes indeed,” Obi-Wan commented and grinned naughtily at the Chancellor

     “Obstinate, headstrong boy! I am ashamed of you! I have not been in the habit of putting up with disappointment.”

     “That will make your Supremeness’s position at present quite pathetic, but doesn’t bother me in the least.”

     “I will not be interrupted!” screamed the Chancellor. “You home-wrecker! You have no connections, family or birth certificate. You were found on a back step! Is Master Jinn to bond with this? Is this to be endured? It shall not be! If you were sensible of your own good you would not wish to quit the state in which you were brought up.”

     “In bonding with Master Jinn, Chancellor, I should not be quitting that state. He is a Jedi Master. I am a Jedi Initiate trained by a Jedi Master. So far we are very well suited.”

     “And what kind of planet is this? Who trained your Housekeeper. What the hell is that red thing running naked through those trees?”

     Obi-Wan cleared his throat to get the Chancellor’s attention off Maul streaking around with Clarissa hot on his heels, hooting seductively every time he screamed ‘Yippee!’

vvvvv“Whatever my connections may be.” Obi-Wan said coolly, “If Master Jinn does not object to them they can be nothing to you.”

vvvvv“Tell me once and for all, are you bonded to him?” Obi-Wan paused, licked his lips and felt his heart sink back into pieces.

     “I am not.”

     The Chancellor almost jigged in place.

     “And will you promise me never to enter into such a bond."

     “I will make no such promise and I beg that you importune me no further on the subject.”

     Obi-Wan turned on his heel and started down the path.

     “Not so hasty, if you please,” yelled the Chancellor, “I have another objection. Your youngest Creche-mate’s infamous bond with that sithy senator, I know it all! Are the Halls of the Main Temple to become so sithy?”

     Obi-Wan turned and stared coldly at the chancellor. He didn’t yell, but his voice was clear.

     “Chancellor, you can have nothing further to say. You have tormented me for long enough and you are no longer welcome here.”

     Obi-Wan continued down the path. He heard the patter of velvet shoes hurrying after him.

     “You have no regard then, for the honor and credit of Master Jinn. Unfeeling, selfish boy! You refuse to oblige me. You refuse the claims of duty, honor and the Force. Your are determined to ruin him and make him the contempt of the Universe.”

     “I am only resolved to act in a manner which will constitute the ways of the Force without reference to you or any other being so wholly unconnected to me or the Force.”

     Obi-Wan stopped at the door of the planet skimmer and turned to regard the Chancellor with disdain. The Chancellor panted up and glared at him.

     “And this is your opinion. Your final resolve! Well, I shall know how to act.”

     He waved his arms and the skimmer door opened.

     Obi-Wan could see Agrippa applying a green mustard compress to Sei Taria’s tongue. The Chancellor climbed halfway up the steps and turned back to Obi-Wan.

     “I won’t say farewell or bye-bye or toodle-pip to you, Initiate Kenobi. I won’t send a polite thank you note to your Mistress. You deserve no such attention or politeness. I am most seriously displeased.”

     He paused a moment.

     “And for Force sake do something about your hair, it’s looks like a bantha tried to eat it.”

     Obi-Wan lifted his chin.

     “It was a Fambaa lizard actually.”

     The Chancellor stamped up the steps the door slid shut. The skimmer’s engines hummed to life and the graceful ship rose in the air and zoomed away leaving Obi-Wan with his thoughts and opinions of the Chancellor as he turned to go back into the Temple.

     “Prick,” he thought.

 

     Obi-Wan finally came down from his room. He had rushed there after the Chancellor’s visit and cried for a while. He was still trying to work out why. Whether it was because the Chancellor was such foul company or because he had been forced to admit that he had no bond with Jinn.

     Obi-Wan turned and trotted down the stairs to see if Jah’nne was about anywhere. The door of Master Yoda’s meditation room popped open and the diminutive Master all but hopped out, grinning.

     “Obi-Bunnie! Looking for you I was about to go. Into my room you must come!”

     Obi-Wan followed his beloved Trainer, full of curiosity which was raised by the sight of holovid player lying paused on the small table. Master Yoda pointed to it, cackling,

     “Received holovid this morning I did. Astonished me exceedingly it has. Know I did not. Two initiates I have on the brink of being bonded they are. Congratulate you I must. Very Force-enhanced Master you have been chosen by.”

     Obi-Wan blushed furiously and babbled uselessly for a while, wondering if it was from Master Jinn and didn’t know if he would pleased with that thought or horrified or just really really turned on.

     “From Senator Taa, it is.” Yoda actually giggled.

     “Senator Taa? What in the sixty-nine sithy hell does that idiot want?” Obi-Wan wasn’t turned on any more, he was going to hurl.

     “Begins he does with congratulations on Jah'nne’s bonding. Bore you with that I won’t. About you he says . . . ”

     Master Yoda pushed the ‘play’ button and Senator’s bloated extremely over-dressed figure appeared.

     “Having thus offered you the sincere congratulations of my senatorial self and my cute yet amphibious Consort on this happy event. Let me now add a teensy-weensy hint on the subject of another, which we have been whispered to by the same authority. Your second initiate, Obi-Wan Kenobi, it is presumed will not long bear the title of Initiate after his elder Creche-mate has resigned it. And the chosen Master of his fate may be reasonably looked up to as one of the most Force-empowered personages in entire known universe.”

     Master Yoda pushed ‘pause’

     “Guess can you, Obi-Bunnie? Who babbling about Taa is? Comes out it does now.”

     Yoda restarted the holovid and Taa’s dolorous tones yammered on.

     “My motive for cautioning you is as follows. We have reason to imagine that the Supreme Chancellor does not look on the match with a friendly eye seeing it involves the Master of the Temple of Coruscant.”

     Master Yoda slammed the off button and turned to grin at Obi-Wan.

     “Master Jinn, it is. Surprised you I have, Obi-Bunnie. Looked at a Padawan Master Jinn never did. Except to criticize. Boink you while contemplating a soul-bond did he?”

     Obi-Wan blushed and his eyes stung. He managed a smile but never had Master Yoda’s wit scalded him this way.

     “Diverted are you?” the Master inquired. Obi-Wan made himself sort of laugh.

     “Oh, I am excessively diverted but it is bloody-fucking weird.”

     Master Yoda sniggered and threw the holovid into the recycler.

     “Obi-Bunnie look you do as though enjoy it you do not. Affronted by idle report are you? Way of communal life it is, snicker at neighbors we do then screw up for them later.”

     “True,” sighed Obi-Wan

     “The Supreme Chancellor said what? Refused his consent did he?”

     Obi-Wan laughed sort of hysterically as he backed to the door. Master Yoda cocked his head briefly.

     “Obi-Bunnie, your hair a wreck it is. Like a plant holder it looks. Fix it you should or stick a begonia in it your Mistress will.” Master Yoda winked at him then mind-whammied the door open and Obi-Wan fled.


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

     Obi-Wan padded downstairs to the second basement to fetch the fish HI-55 had asked him to get her from the dark fish pond that was down there. He hooked the giant creamy-pink Faa scale fish out of the pond with his fingers. It was a sizable fish, fat, sleek, and the length of his arm. Being a cartilaginous fish like most on Naboo, it was easily cooked and eaten without the dangers of the skinny things he had to eat on Alderaan, which were so full of tiny, scratchy bones, it was a wonder anyone could eat them and live.

  
     He was dressed in his short kilt and his necklace. He smiled, at least he was washed and clean. His hair was wrapped in a clean, unused steamer towel. He was slightly annoyed as he hadn’t been able to track Maul down as Maul had been the one who had wrecked his hair in the first place, so he ought to be the one to fix it. He started back up when Maul came bounding down wearing his kilt and several jangly bangles on both his ankles and wrists. Every time he moved he sounded as though he was trying to sell cheap cosmetics.

  
     “There you are. Want me to fix your hair?”

  
     “Yes, dear. Thank you.”

  
     Obi-Wan perched on a nearby window seat briefly enjoying the breeze. Maul clambered up behind him and started fiddling about. Obi-Wan allowed himself to relax. He relaxed about five standard seconds then was aware that whatever was working on his hair was not achieving much beyond making it more matted and wet. He turned and there was Clarissa, her muzzle right near his head and Maul was helping her chew Obi-Wan’s hair. With a screech of disgust, Obi-Wan wrenched himself free and stood glaring at the pair. Maul hopped up grinning at him.

     “Poor Obi-Bunnie, You look like a potolli that rolled in mud glue during shedding season.”  
     

     Obi-Wan didn’t even think about what he was doing as his hand still hooked about the Faa swung. The body of the fish connected with Maul’s face with the loudest wet slap Obi-Wan had ever heard. The two Creche-mates stood staring at each other. Obi-Wan realized what he had just done and started to laugh. Maul stood with his mouth hanging open then realized he ought to do something with it.

      “Mistress!”

      Maul turned and rushed up the stairs, Obi-Wan hot on his heels but still laughing. Maul went tearing into the Foyer still screaming. On a whim, Obi-Wan sidetracked into the parlor, stuffed the fish behind a chair cushion and took off after his Creche-mate.

     Obi-Wan bounded into the foyer. There, being welcomed in, was Master Windu, Master Jinn, Master Tiin, and the accompanying Padawans. Obi-Wan wanted to sink through the floor. He was in his short kilt, his hair was still wet with Fambaa spit and he smelled distinctly of fish.

     Mistress Fan’iy pried Maul off herself while he whined about his face.

     “Maullie, please! Our guests!”

     “Mistress! Obi hit me with a fish.”

      Mistress Fan’iy looked distractedly at Obi-Wan, who shrugged innocently. She was too excited about seeing Master Windu again that she really didn’t have time for it.

     “That’s nice, dear. Please, dear Masters, come sit in the parlor we’re going to have snackies soon.”  
Mistress led the way into the very parlor Obi-Wan had stuffed his weapon. He trailed after then and hoped he would be able to get the fish out from behind the cushion before anything worse happened.

     Worse, of course, happened. He followed slowly. Master Jinn looked back at him. He blushed and turned away. He knew he looked like crap. He sighed, his lovely curls were ruined.

  
     He was pulled from his melancholy when the Mistress sat down in the very chair where he had stuffed the fish. Everyone else seated themselves and she started to gently natter.

  
     Obi-Wan shrank against the wall near the door. He watched as Mistress chatted and laughed. His eyes widened and he felt queasy as he saw the tail of the fish working its way free. It slowly wiggled up and the tail rose up behind the cushion and it slowly grew higher behind her head, wagging gently.

  
     Mistress Fan’iy giggled and tittered. Obi-Wan watched as Master Windu looked at her in weirded out shock. Jah’nne looked quiet distressed. Flas was reading, Khi’to was picking his nose, and Maul was drying his face on the rug near the window seat. The Padawans were staring with their mouths hanging open and, Masters Tiin and Jinn looked as though they were going to wet their robes.

  
     The tail wriggled higher then paused. Mistress went on talking then suddenly the tail slapped down and walloped her directly on the top of her head. She sat stock still completely confused at what had happened. Maul saw, stood up, and screamed at the top of his lungs.

   
     “The Fish!!!”

     His shriek brought the thunder of Fambaa feet and Clarissa, believing her love in danger, thrust her entire self through the parlor window which was unfortunately closed and several sizes too small for her to get through. The explosion of glass, wall, flatware, snackies, ornaments and Fambaa breath allowed Obi-Wan a split second to snatch the fish and flee with it to the kitchen.

He walked slowly in and politely handed the fish to HI-55. The droid took it and nodded thanks. Obi-Wan turned to leave.

     “Obi-Wan?”

     “Yes, HI-55?”

     The droid picked at the fish a little,

     “Why is there lint on this fish, Obi-Bunnie?”

     Obi-Wan considered a moment, then shrugged,

     “Trust me, HI-55, you do not wish to know.”

     Obi-Wan sighed and wandered down the corridor. He needed to change and to some how fix his hair. He tried last night, been woefully unsuccessful and Clarissa had compounded the mess. He turned the corner and there was Master Qui-Gon Jinn.

     The Master was leaning against the wall, his head back, eyes closed and shaking violently with suppressed laughter. Obi-Wan blushed and tried to pass him but the Master caught his hand.

     “Initiate, please allow me the chance to . . . er . . . ?”

     The Master indicated the chewed mop that was still sitting on Obi-Wan’s head. The latter sighed again and nodded.

     Disinclined to let his Creche see Master Jinn play with his hair, Obi-Wan led the way to his own chamber upstairs.

     “I apologize for the mess, Master Jinn. I would have you know I am a good deal tidier than this but I awoke yesterday morning in company with Maul and Clarissa.”

     “Maul’s lizard friend?”

     “Yes.”

     “I am loath to ask how he managed to get her upstairs not to mention getting your Mistress’s permission for such a venture.”

     “It was not sought. Maul is allowed upstairs, and Clarissa merely stood on her hind legs and stuffed the rest of herself through my window.”

     “You are a generous Creche-mate.”

     “I was too sleepy to notice”

     “Too sleepy to notice a giant lizard crawling through your window?”

     “After my almost intimate situation with the Sando the afternoon of that day, a Fambaa is mere small change, Master.”  
Master Jinn acknowledge this with a nod and glancing about, picked a pearlized comb off Obi-Wan’s dresser and motioned the initiate to seat himself on the bed. Obi-Wan obeyed and remained still and Master Jinn began to work on the rag rug that was Obi-Wan’s latest ‘do’.

     Master Jinn sat behind him. Obi-Wan couldn’t see him and was glad the Master could not see his face as he knew that it was, once more as red as Maul’s ass. He tried to sit very still and not simply lean back and fall into the Master’s arms.

     True, they had been lovers, no, not lovers he sighed to himself. Congenial bedmates, was perhaps the best description He couldn’t help but wonder what the Master truly thought of him. He knew the Master was amused at the antics that his fellow Creche members got up to. He now knew that Master Jinn was Master Yoda’s former Padawan but that did not give them more than a genteel acquaintance.

     He sighed heavily, Master Jinn had come back just as he was beginning to feel acclimated to having a broken heart, now he was all stirred up again.

     He felt Master Jinn drop his hair, then,

     “I think the best thing would be for me to just cut it off.”

     Obi-Wan choked on his own breath and turned.

     “Master Jinn, you experienced first hand how my Mistress behaved when a small piece was cut before, why have . . .?”

     Obi-Wan turned and stared. Master Jinn was looking at him and he had the same look in his eyes that he had often had when they two of them were together and happy in each others arms in the Main Temple on Coruscant. Obi-Wan hand flew to his throat and he was lost for words. He told himself that the Master was just teasing him. He knew that there things that had to be said and he should say them.

     “Master Jinn?’  
   

     “Yes.”

     Obi-Wan took a deep breath and said in a rush,

     “Master Jinn, I am a selfish creep and for the sake of getting this off my chest, I can only hope I won’t offend you when I have to tell you how grateful I am for your generosity toward my youngest Creche-mate. Ever since I found out about Palpatine and Maul, and what you did for them; I have wanted to tell you how very thankful I am for your intervention. On behalf of all my Creche and master, please let me thank you as they do not know to whom they are indebted to.”

     Master Jinn looked quite surprised, then smiled.

     “Your Aunt Yaddle told you?’

     “Only after Maul dropped the mud bag. I threatened Auntie with deprivation of snackies and chocolate dainties if she did not tell me everything.”

     Master Jinn laughed.

     “Then there are no further details I could possibly add. I heard many times how she and her bondmate spoke longingly of HI-55’s culinary abilities and now, having experienced them, I fully appreciate that they told the absolute truth. However, if you must thank me, let it be for yourself. Master Yoda and your fellow Creche members owe me nothing as I was only thinking of you.”

     Obi-Wan choked on his own breath. Master Jinn was silent as he continued untangling Obi-Wan’s hair. Obi-Wan closed his eyes thrilling to the gentleness of Master Jinn’s hands on his hair, running his fingers through the red-gold curls. He wished instead to have the Master’s hands roaming his body as freely as they caressed his curls. He heard a satisfied sigh and smiled to himself as he felt the comb stroke easily all through his hair to the ends. Master Jinn flipped a shining curl across Obi-Wan’s shoulder and pinched his chin softly from behind.

     “There you are, initiate. Your hair is up to standard once more.”

     Obi-Wan smiled then on whim lay back against his own bed. His head touched the pillow and he looked up at the Master. Jinn smiled down at him. Obi-Wan was acutely aware that he was attired in nothing but his short kilt. The afternoon sun sparkled on his chain and he reached up and lightly placed his fingers on Jinn’s shoulders.

     “Please,” he whispered. “Once more just once . . . I never want to forget . . . ”

     Jinn’s eyes softened and he rose up on one knee to remove his brown robe. Obi-Wan sat up and wound an arm about the Master’s neck as he fumbled with the fastenings of his kilt then tossed the negligent article aside. He wrapped both arms about the Master and tugged him eagerly down to lie upon him.

     Master Jinn arranged himself that he was lying beside Obi-Wan. He accepted the younger man’s embrace and slid his fingers into the red-gold curls as he caressed Obi-Wan’s waist. Obi-Wan pressed himself against Jinn’s body and hungrily kissed his mouth. Master Jinn chuckled low in his chest and took Obi-Wan’s face between his hands.

     “Look into my eyes, my Obi.” Master Jinn’s voice was almost a blessing. Obi-Wan opened his own and gazed into the blue ones he adored more than his life.

     He was back at the pool of his memories. He turned and there was the light of the Master. With a cry wrenched from his very soul he flung himself into it. It was the only thing he could do. He felt that he could happily go through life alone if he could just have the time, these short, sweet few moments with Master Jinn.

     He was enveloped, swallowed and the Force was so strong, so suddenly, he briefly lost consciousness.

     Obi-Wan blinked and stared into Jinn’s eyes. He wasn’t alone. Something that was part of Master Jinn sang within him now. He sensed that a part of him was within the Master. He tried to understand what had happened. He was dizzy with elation and outright joy. He giggled a little and the tears filled his eyes

     “Wh . . . what did you do? What has happened between us?” he managed to whisper.

     Qui-Gon softly kissed his eyelashes.

     “It seems we have developed a soul-bond, my Obi. Does that please you?”

     Obi-Wan giggled mischievously, “I imagine so, seeing as how I all but leapt into it.” He cuddled his love closer and kissed the collarbone next to his nose.

     “Dearest, loveliest Obi-Wan . . . Mmm, my sweet Obi-Bunnie, it’s so good to hold you again. I thought my arms would wither without you in them.”

     “Not to mention any other part of your anatomy, my Qui?”

     This teasing statement was rewarded with a kiss. Obi-Wan murmured happily at the warmth on his mouth. Qui-Gon mumbled something sweet and pulled Obi-Wan on top of him and settled himself against the small bed. Obi-Wan kissed the beard against his cheek and stroked his hands against his Qui’s chest. It was so sweet yet silly to be lying there on his own little bed sprawled onto of the man who was now his soul-mate. Qui-Gon ’s hand rubbed the length of his spine, pressing his body against Qui-Gon’s own.

     “Obi, please . . . ”

     Obi-Wan locked his arms beneath Qui-Gon ’s shoulders and lightly kissed his lips,

     “My darling love.” he murmured against Qui-Gon’s mouth, then rained little soft kisses against Qui’s hairline then gently rubbed his face in the older man’s beard. Qui-Gon sighed shakily beneath him and slid his hands lower. Obi-Wan gasped slightly as Qui-Gon’s hands began caressing his butt.

     Obi-Wan relaxed his body and shifted himself and began to straddle Qui-Gon s waist. Qui-Gon moved beneath him, then sat up slightly, pushing the pillows beneath his head and shoulders then struggled out of his shirt with Obi-Wan’s help. He tossed them on the floor and started reaching for his belt and trousers, so Obi-Wan politely helped him take them both off.

     Obi-Wan straddled his love once more after tossing the trousers heedlessly over his shoulder and flopped down on the older man licking him eagerly. Qui-Gon murmured and shifted manipulating Obi-Wan between his thighs and moaning hungrily as Obi-Wan rubbed himself against his true love’s throbbing erection.

     “I think it’s your turn to do the taking, my Obi.”

     Obi-Wan was more than happy to express himself on the occasion as sensibly and as warmly as a being violently in love can be supposed to do.

 

     Sometime later, Obi-Wan blinked and lifted his head to kiss the lips he was most fond of.

     “Mmm, my Obi . . . ” Qui-Gon sat up a little and cuddled Obi-Wan close. “Tell me did the Chancellor really come here?”  
Obi-Wan swallowed and looked up.

     “He told you?”

     “Yes. Actually, I suppose I should thank him. From what he said, I started to hope again. I had thought that you had learnt to live without me. When Finis told me what you had said, I realized that had you decided irrevocably to go to the university, you would have told him outright.”

     Obi-Wan giggled.

     “Well, of course, having so grossly insulted you to your face and in front of your dearest friends, why wouldn’t I take the opportunity to bad-mouth you to the Chancellor.”

     Qui-Gon chuckled and kissed him fondly. “It was not all insulting. I can now openly admit that some of those comments were well deserved. Not to mention my behavior. Force, when I think of it I could cringe.”

     “Or turn as red as Maul’s ass?”

     “That was not the analogy I was looking for but I suppose it will have to do. But when I think of the way I treated you- ”

     “Beloved,” Obi-Wan smiled. “Let’s not start arguing about which of us was less than polite. Let’s just agree that the pair of us are now much more cordial than we used to be.”

     “I know and I try to remember to be mindful of the Living Force but when I remember that time on Alderaan. When you told would not accept me as I had behaved in such a Sith-like manner- Ugh, I can’t even tell you how much those words stung. It was quite a time before I could even grudgingly admit that you had a point.”

     Obi-Wan giggled a little and kissed his Qui on the end of his elegant nose.

     “Truly, my love, I never thought they would make the slightest dent in your magnificence. You seemed so far above me.”  
Qui-Gon chuckled.

     “Yes, I can imagine. You thought I was a conniving snot and totally without any softer emotions to temper my sithness. I know you did,” as Obi-Wan was silenced by a kiss for trying to voice a feeble protest.

     “Your face when you told me I would be the last Jedi Master in the entirety of Force creation with whom you could ever form any sort of a bond.”

     Obi-Wan clapped both his hands over his love’s mouth.

     “Don’t! I don’t even want to think about remembering all those dreadful sithy things I said to you. I can’t even begin to tell you how embarrassed I am to think I ever said such things!”

     “Did my holovid change your mind in any way? Did you think a little more kindly of me for it?”

     “Oooh, my love. It explained everything. I just- ”

     “I knew it would upset you.” Qui-Gon frowned slightly. “But I had to tell you. I had to explain. I hope you erased it. I would loathe the idea of you ever being able to hear and see any of that again. I would imagine it would ruin everything between us.”

     Obi-Wan regarded his mate a moment then kissed him playfully.

     “Very well, my Love, I will erase it and toss the entire thing in one of Her breathing holes if you believe that its non-existence is vital to my keeping a bond with you.”

     “Flirt!”

     “No! You really think? Please, dearest, do as your former Master would surely tell you and be mindful of the present. Remember happy things instead, like the fun we had when I stayed at the Temple with you.”

     Obi-Wan widened his eyes and Qui-Gon laughed softly and kissed him,

     “You are lucky to do that. I have a terrible habit of remembering past failures and brushing over my accomplishments. Master Yoda gave my excellent principles and the benefit of his wonderful wisdom but once I attained my Mastery I see now that I have been following those principles in the ways of sithy vanity. Your comment on my sithyness was perhaps more to the truth than either of us had realized.”

     “Speaking of which I was almost as bad, if not worse at that tourney and Alderaan. I was amazed you actually spoke to me when I saw you at the Temple. I was absolutely horrified at meeting you there I was so ashamed.”

     “I was happy to speak to you! I wanted you to know I still thought well of you and that I was a Master who would try to be worthy of your midi-chlorian level. Sabé ranted about you all the rest of the day after she met you. As soon as she found out that Hunt and Pehkk had met you she had someone else to talk about you with. Then the day you came and sparred with them all . . . Needless to say, I have no further worries of her being shy and not making friends. You certainly made her way there very easy and I do thank you for it.”

     Obi-Wan smiled at the thought and cuddled against Qui-Gon’s shoulder once more.

     “I am perfectly delighted to spend time with her. I honestly like her very much. I’m very glad she and Maser Tiin have bonded. I think they will mesh well.”

     Qui-Gon chuckled.  

     “Thank you dear, I value your wisdom and experience.”

     Obi-Wan kissed him very wetly and long as a punishment. He was just about to remove his mouth when there was a thunder of feet down the hall and his bedroom door was flung open with the Force.

     “OBI! OBI! OBI! OBI! OBI!”

     There was an echoing scream as a red lump came flying through the air and crash-landed on the smoochy pair. There was a secondary crash that was more of a sad-sounding crunch as the little bed refused to stand under such punishment anymore and sat down instead.

     Obi-Wan struggled out from under Maul and climbed off the bed. Master Jinn swore softly then started to laugh.

     “Maul, was there something you particularly wanted?”

     Obi-Wan tied his sleep shawl about his slim hips as it was the only piece of clothing near to hand. He turned to help Master Jinn out of the ravine that the Master was trapped in but was rewarded by the sight on Maul sitting aside Master Jinn and staring down at him as though he was some sort of unique bug.

     Obi-Wan suddenly remembered that Maul was inclined to eat any insect that fascinated him and grabbed the pest by his ear.

     “Maul, please don’t sit on the Jedi Master, it’s rude.”

     Maul consented to be hauled off, but never took his eyes off Master Jinn.

     “Maullie, why are you in here?”

     “So you did have to fuck someone to get that darling necklace. Will I get one, too, if I fuck him.”

     “No, it’s one of a kind.” Obi-Wan said quickly at the look of horror that was appearing on his Qui’s face.

     “Oh. I had to help Clarissa cough.”

     “That’s nice, dear.”

     “She ate some pants she found lying outside there.” Maul pointed out Obi-Wan’s window. “They didn’t look like yours, so I figured what the hell. Mistress says evening munchies in a bit.”

     Maul trailed out leaving Obi-Wan feeling absolutely mortified and Master Jinn lying helpless with laughter in the deep ‘v’ of the broken bed.

     “Did Maul just say that Clarissa has eaten my trousers?” Master Jinn inquired solicitously. Obi-Wan moaned and flopped back down on the bed.

     “I’m so sorry, dearest. I didn’t realize I’d thrown them out the window.”

     Master Jinn just laughed again, then,

     “Bunnie-wunnie?”

     “My Qui?’

     “Help me out of here will you?”

     Obi-Wan offered his hands and pulled his love playfully free of the bed. Master Jinn rose to his full height and cocked his head slightly.

     “I shall never cease to be amazed by the sheer destructive power of your Creche-mates that is intertwined with the love you all share. You do realize you are all extremely strange.”

     Obi-Wan made a face.

     “Really Master Jinn, I haven’t the slightest idea what you could possibly mean by that.

     “Obi!”

     Obi-Wan turned at the sound of Jah’nne’s voice calling. He went to the door,

     “Yes, dear.”

     “Master Yoda says the weather is right for ceremony. We’re all going up to the roof.”

     Obi-Wan couldn’t stop the squeal of joy. He turned and bounced back into his room. Qui-Gon smiled at him.

     “Ceremony?”

     “Have you a short kilt, my love?”

     “Pardon?”


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth  universally acknowledged  that a lone  Jedi Master  of the  Highest Order  must be in want of a  Padawan Apprentice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Pride of the Jedi and the Prejudice of the Sith.   
> Pairing: Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan with other minor character parings. Category: Humor/Parody, PWP, Qui/Obi, Maul/various Rating: NC-17/R/X (funny/disgusting/graphic violence & weird sex) Warnings: Umm . . . Maul gets a little . . . er . . . out of control. He is a rather vile being after all.   
> Credits: This is a parody! The majority of credit goes to the talented folks at the Master and Apprentice archive. My favorite section was the Humor and the wonderful use of the word “mind-whammy”and the nickname “Obi-Bunny”. Those writers in the humor section are fabulously funny.  
> Mr. George owns Star Wars “The Phantom Menace", Jane Austin wrote the book. A&E and the BBC produced the series. I have torn all three to shred and sewn them back together and hope they look cute. David West Reynolds created the fabulous Visual Dictionaries, which were a wonderful help, research aide and inspiration. I make no money but I have lots of fun. Words failed my beta-reader, Li, but for laughing I thank her.  
> Finally; what is it with the phrase ‘rugged travel boots’, that always sends me into giggles. Does any one else have this problem?   
> Advice: You may want to watch AE/BBC Pride and Prejudice series that came out in 1995 as I used that more than I used the book for the way the story goes and the conversations. Though I fully admit to quasi-quoting the book often. I also pulled many minor characters from the Visual Dictionaries.

     Obi-Wan knelt down easily and arranged his thoughts. He heard Hunt behind him whispering to her brother, 

  
     "Look! Did you ever think you’d seen the day when Master Mace Windu wears a short kilt? Couldn’t you just die!”

     The pair giggled together. He smiled and heard both gasp in shock. He felt the warmth of his Beloved’s hand on his shoulder. Obi-Wan opened his eyes and gazed serenely upward. Qui-Gon grinned and looked ever so slightly flushed.

     “I had no idea how, er- droughty these things could be.”

     Obi-Wan glanced at the lovely deep blue short kilt Qui-Gon was almost wearing. He rather wondered where Master Yoda had come up with short kilts for all their guests but was very pleased all would be able to take part in what Obi-Wan privately considered to be his favorite ceremony.

     Master Yoda stomped to the edge of the Temple roof and bumped down.

      Jah’nne and Obi-Wan knelt next to each other behind the Master with their love’s on either side of them, one acknowledged, the latter still in silence.

     Maul flumped down directly behind Obi-Wan and Master Jinn. He stuck his red head between them,

     “No smooching during the meditation,” he whispered.

  
     Obi-Wan blushed hotly and Master Jinn accidentally elbowed the young being in the gut, effectively silencing him.  Master Tiin knelt came to kneel beside Maul, which relieved Obi-Wan of the onerous task of keeping the pest quiet. Sabé plopped down next to her Master then the Padawans sat next to her. Obi-Wan heard her tell the Padawans that the other two initiates had decided to stay with their Governess.  
   

 The heat had increased since the midday hour and Obi-Wan was almost sure it would reach melting point which, thrilled him even more. Master Yoda cleared his throat and all his initiates fell into light trances, centering themselves in the land around the temple and their world of lovely Naboo.

     The flat roof between the four spires faced them to gaze outward across Theed, its busy streets and thoroughfares chock full of vendors and politicians. They saw beyond the great museums, galleries and schools of higher learning. Over all these things they gazed out to the shimmering blue of the broad, deep Naboo Ocean.

     The amphibians in the puddle-pools thrubbing their singing notes to an even higher degree. The sun glared hard upon all of them and Obi-Wan felt his bones soften with its intensity. He smiled softly, feeling the sweat bead up and slid down his body. Master Jinn, beside him, breathed easily. Obi-Wan could feel that the Master was not fully into the trance but it had nothing to do with the heat, it was merely that he was rather curious as to what his former Master was teaching them this time.

     The sun seemed to get brighter and the amphibians song screeched higher then abruptly stopped. The silence rippled across the land and the folk of Theed as a one took themselves indoors to nap, sit quietly, and sip cool drinks.

     Master Yoda straightened up and Obi-Wan opened his eyes. The sky was the color of verdigris metal. The Ocean was like a mirror. The heat was so great, the air rippled with it.

     Master Yoda began humming. The Creche-mates caught the note and began to intone the note he gave them. Obi-Wan left his heart lift with the beauty and tingled with the tendrils of the Force that swirled about them. Master Yoda gently laid his three-fingered hand on Obi-Wan’s knee.

     “Now needed your voice is, Obi-my-Obi.”

     Obi-Wan smiled and raised his voice in the Ancient Jedi Chant,

“ _The Force is Light._  
 _The Force is Dark._  
 _In the Force I shall call your name_  
 _The Force never changes_  
 _The Force flows the same_  
 _Hold and teach me_  
 _You from the Ocean floor_  
 _I’m your child_  
 _One with the Force_  
 _Guided by the Force_  
 _I learn as your student_  
 _When the moons are above_  
 _You’ll be my master_  
 _When the suns have all shone_  
 _And You will always care for me_ ”

     Obi-Wan sighed as he finished. He could hear his voice echoing away down to Theed. The heat and the silence had combined to all but nearly render thought impossible. There was a long pause. Obi-Wan stared out at the Ocean, his entire body streaming with sweat.

     The Force swam about them, Its energy becoming stronger, brighter. Obi-Wan smiled as through the heat he could see the fingers like lightening tendrils reaching around and through them.

     Suddenly, there was a tiny black line on the horizon against the shimmering ocean. Obi-Wan trembled with anticipation and reached out to clasp his lover’s hand. He looked up into Qui-Gon’s eyes which stared questioningly back into his. Obi-Wan looked at the horizon and Qui-Gon followed his example. Out of the corner of his eye, Obi-Wan thrilled to see Qui-Gon frown then peer into the distance and look rather puzzled. Obi-Wan smiled as it all began to happen.

     The black line swooped toward them revealing itself as an all-encompassing black storm cloud. It rushed across the sky blotting out the entire sky. The waves could be seen crashing beneath it and there was the deep howl of the winds, water-twisters whirled of the edges and the lightening dances all through flickering and scintillating like blood vessels through the cloud and the ever darkening sky.

     Master Yoda lifted a hand and as one the Creche rose to its feet, hands raised in honorable salute. Obi-Wan’s heart leapt as he saw what danced in the waves beneath the cloud.  
Then the sky above and around them was as black as night the lightening crackled all around. The wind whipped the trees into a frenzy and threatened to blow them all from their high perch.

     Obi-Wan clutched Qui-Gon and grabbed Master Yoda’s hand as they watched the Opee Sea Killers and the Colo Claw fish leap the waves. Sometimes their entire bodies would fly free of the waters. Obi-Wan smiled to see the one they had also summoned.

     She rose like a leviathan from the waves. Her jump fully cleared Her massive body from the water and head first She dove back under. Again and again these vast monsters appeared beneath the storm and She surged clear as many times as all of them.

     On the roof top, the initiates and the Padawans shrieked with the sudden cold. Master Yoda clapped his hands, caught up his Drixfar and began to play for them. Masters, Padawans and Initiates made their feet light as they trod the rooftop in the Ancient measures of a Jedi meditation polka. Obi-Wan laughed as his Qui swung him then linked arms with Maul and danced to pair to the edge.

     Obi-Wan gasped in surprise as Clarissa stuck her enormous head over the eves to see what her love was up to. On cue, Master Jinn extended his hands and clapped them gently on Clarissa’s blunt snout instantly bringing the Fambaa into the Dance formation. Obi-Wan and Maul followed suit and swung back into the circle and watched Master Mace take Jah’nne and Sabé down to also tap Clarissa politely. The Fambaa began to hum the basic tune loudly, which allowed Master Yoda to crank out some really boss riffs. This made the dance swing faster and the dancers to shriek with loud laughter.

     Suddenly the pelting rain caught up to then and dancers, musicians and Fambaa were instantly drenched.

     “Snackies!” shouted Master Yoda and flung open the roof door, shooed all of them through it and waved his drixfar at Clarissa and she bobbed down to the ground.

     Obi-Wan was still having hysterical giggles along with Maul as Master Jinn half led half carried the pair into the summer parlor and sunporch.

     Obi-Wan was pleased to see that the mistress seemed to have developed enough sense to opened the vast, triple sliding doors of the porch and the front half of Clarissa was filling them. Maul rushed over to fondle and towel down his love.

     Khi’to was madly passing out towels and colorful shower robes to everyone. Flas-Ok was watching an urn bubble and reading a history of the Hutt species. Mistress Fan’iy was mopping up, rubbing everyone’s hair with towels and exclaiming in a manner which suggested that she had firmly believed they were all intent on drowning themselves in the bay.

 

     Later that evening Master Yoda motioned to Obi-Wan to follow him. Obi-wan was a bit surprised that master Yoda also saw fit to include Jinn. The happy pair followed the title green master down the Creche hallway and into the Master’s study. When they were seated Master Yoda looked at Jinn

     “Mean to have my initiate you do?”

     Jinn smiled at Obi-Wan who blushed.

     “Yes, if he will have me. And with your blessing, should you be willing to give it.”

     “Give with happiness, I do.” Master Yoda smiled fondly at Obi-Wan. “Any questions, have you?”

     Jinn folded his fingers and leaned his elbows on his knees, in thought. Obi-Wan felt a sliver of worry go through him.

     “I wish to removed Obi-Wan from this planet as soon as possible. The Force abilities of a certain Aqua monster greatly concern me.

     “Salali,” Master Yoda interposed.

     “Salali?” Jinn questioned.

     “Salali, her name is,” Yoda offered.

     Jinn stared then frowned.

     “Why does that name sound familiar?”

     “Search your thoughts and feelings you should,” advised the Master. Jinn paused again then turned several different colors finally settling with rather pale.

     “Master, how…?”

     “I don’t understand.” Obi-Wan put in.

     Master Yoda sighed and reached for his gimer stick.

     “Long story it is. Good thing sitting we are.”

     The Master chewed the end of the stick a moment

     “Remember do you, Jinn when Windu and self padawans were?”

     “But she was only as tall as Master Poof….” Jinn began.

     “Yes, and very happy we were,” Master Yoda agreed.

     Obi-Wan gasped.

     “But why did you leave the Temple and come here?” Jinn asked, frowning.

     “Because growing she was, in the Temple fit, she would not!” Yoda snapped.

     “Ah, of course.”

     “Settled here on her homeworld we did. Founded creche and started looking for initiates next. Many holes around here. Very content we were.”

     Yoda leaned forward again and patted Obi-wan’s knee.

     “Found you we did. Very happy Salali was. But then…”

     The Master trailed off looking sad.

     “What happened, Mater?” Obi-wan asked softly.

     “Argued we did. Raise you underwater Salali wanted. Gills you did not have. Grow with Force she said. Too much surgery I said. Not halfway point could we reach. Separate we did.”

     “Oh, Master, “ Obi-Wan sympathized.

     “For it, nothing now,” Yoda sighed.

     “Chat you must have, Obi, my Obi.”

 

     Obi-Wan held tightly to Jinn’s hand as he stood before the last breathing hole She had disappeared into. She was not long in appearing. This time, though the huge eyeball did not frighten Obi-Wan.

*I have found my soulmate and he will be taking me to the Temple on Coruscant.*

The eyeball rolled to look at Jinn. The Master bowed low.

*You are to become a Jedi, Obi?*

*Yes.*

*Then I am happy.*

*Please watch over other initiates.*

*I always do, Obi. Goodbye, my little fishling.*

*Goodbye….Mother.*

 

 

     Well, my dears, there is not that much to tell that you cannot already guess.

     The Chancellor, enraged at the rejection of his daughter and Obi’s bond with Jinn, yanked all his influential members from the Jedi Order which was just what Yoda hoped. Traditional teachings were restored and several lower Masters, Knights and Padawan retested and sent away from the Order and the Council is once more strong and vigorous in the Force.

     The crowning moment was that Yoda, Windu, and Jinn were elected to the Council. The bonding ceremony between Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Mace Windu and Jah’nne were the delight of all Naboo. A double Jedi bonding ceremony had never been seen and the hats alone required for the younger initiate were rumored to have cost a fortune in finny grass and hot house flowers.

     Khi’to, Flas-Ok and Mistress Fan’iy were adopted by the Creche at Otoh-Gunga. Boss Nass and the mistress were married shortly after. Master Yoda, himself, presided over the ceremony which was only slightly marred by JarJar Binks attempting to clean the old creche with a vat of boiling Faa fish oil and setting the place on fire.

     Master Yoda, was pleased by this and happily declared the Creche closed and left planet on the most dainty of silvery skimmers, triumphantly traveling with his two favorites to the Academy to retake his seat on the High Council.

     Maul became a constant source of scandal for the newsvendors from all over the Republic with his newly-founded polytechnic “The Academy Of Pleasure”. Clarissa and Maul’s wedding pictures graced the brochure and caused many, many planets to re-think their policies on inter-species marriage

 And with all due respect to Lucas . . . In this story heroic Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his  
wonderfully brave Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi -

Lived Happily Ever After!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who thought the Ancient Jedi hymn sounded familiar, its a smoosh up/mismash of the Pretender's song 'Hymn to Her' which has a very special place in my heart.
> 
> It's done and done for the best. I'm so glad I finally got to post this silly tale. I hope those of you who read it and maybe will read it, enjoy it.
> 
> To all who have followed along while I posted with comments and kudos, I thank you all very much. It means a great deal to hear from you.
> 
> Super hugs and Love to all  
> And may Maul and Clarissa haunt your dreams.


End file.
